A/N Final chapter you guys :( sad but also not, hope you enjoy, please review and thanks to Brittana-Forever-LOVE. I love love love your review :) This story was dedicated to someone special in my life, whether or not she's read it. Anyway it's only short but please enjoy the second update of the day...
Gx
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Please
-Brittanys POV-
Beep Beep Beep.
I sat by the bed looking down at the beautiful girl before me. Her mother had disappeared after taking her to the hospital. She found her passed out on her bedroom floor. Blood everywhere. I had seen the ambulance and the paramedics taking her in the back of it. Sans mum let me come with her in the car, and has now disappeared somewhere in the hospital. A great fucking mother.
I held Santanas hand and my eyes scanned over her soft features as though I was trying to memorise every curve and every beauty spot there. I didn't need to try. I saw her face everynight as I slept, her stunning beauty gracing my dreams with her presence and haunting my every waking moment.
Beep Beep Beep.
I still loved her. I loved her with every fibre of my being. But after she made out with Puck at that party, and enjoyed it, I didn't see why. She cheated. I felt crushed, like every moment we shared, every smile, every kiss, every touch... I felt like it was all a lie. Maybe I could have forgiven her, maybe we could have argued then worked through the problems. Maybe then she would still be mine and we'd be happy together. Maybe she wouldn't be in hospital on the brink of death. My darling Santana.
(maybe maybe maybe)
Beep Beep Beep.
But she said I was stupid. All my life I've been seen as the ditzy dumb blonde. Got great moves but is somewhat lacking in the brain department. She was the only person who stood up for me when the others called me stupid, or idiotic or even just snickered at me. The only one. But then she opened her mouth. Maybe she didn't mean it, maybe it was just cos she was drunk. But what's that saying? 'Drunken words are sober thoughts' ?
(maybe maybe maybe)
Beep Beep Beep.
I sighed and looked at my ex-girlfriends arms, tracing the scars that covered them. My breath hitched in my throat and my eyes watered. Again. I fought back tears and I looked away from her to try and stop them from flowing. When I saw it. Her notebook. It was sticking out of her bag at a funny angle. I released her hand as I reached for it. It was a Batman notebook. I chuckled at her, she was such a dork it was adorable. I smiled at her unconscious form silently telling her how cute she was. I opened it up on the first page.
I gasped quietly. It was a journal. I closed the book immediately and put it down on the bed. It would be wrong of me to read it. I still wanted to. Tentatively I picked it up and again opened it to the first entry. The day we first met. I chuckled as I too remembered that day. I was so excited about moving to England. About meeting the little Spanish/English girl who lived next door with her cute British accent.
Beep Beep Beep.
I saw what present day Santana had been thinking and it made my heart ache. How could I be so cruel? She had hurt me but I had taken this way too far.
The second entry. Our first kiss on my 12th birthday. I was so oblivious back then. It's obvious now that San was into me, I guess little me was kinda slow on the uptake. I too had wanted to kiss her for ages, I'm glad I asked her but I didnt need to. I could've just gone for it. I sighed at Santanas mention of this birthday. I had wanted her to be with me so bad. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I loved the presents she gave me. They were perfect, she knew me so well, Artie hadn't thought properly about it but she went through the effort of getting 'Lucky Charms' in. How? It was impossible, believe me I tried. But it looks like Santana was like Santa Claus. Not cos she was fat or because she had a beard. But because she could make the impossible, possible. I stroked my bracelet absentmindedly.
Beep Beep Beep.
I read the third entry and stopped. I hated this. I remember feeling so helpless. I didn't know what to say or do to help her. And I felt mad. Furious even. Her parents were- are terrible. What else was I to do?
Fourth entry. I remember this clearly as well. the pirate game was so much fun and dancing with her was even better. I'm surprised about the fact she watched me dance at school. I had chosen that song because of her. I wore my bracelet because of her. I wanted to be her Prince becaused I loved her. I love her now. She has always been my Princess.
I carried on reading until I got to the 7th entry. I refuse to read that. It was the last entry in there, it's what triggered her attempted suicide. Glancing at it I saw it was me. Us. Our breakup. That and her grandma passing away drove her over the edge. I cried even harder.
Beep Beep Beep.
I'm a terrible person, she was already so damaged, and I pushed her away, I should have been there, I should have been her comfort. Not a sharp blade.
I couldn't read anymore. Again I looked at her scarred arms. I caused them. This was my fault. Why didn't I tell her I loved her? Why didn't I break up with Artie the minute I saw the presents and the note? Why was I so stubborn? Why couldn't I just admit that I Brittany Susan Pierce was in deep unconditional love with the one and only Santana Marie Lopez. Why was I scared?
(why, why, why)
Beep Beep Beep.
I linked my pinky with hers and sobbed, my tears dropping down onto the bedsheets.
'San. I don't know if you can hear me but I-I need to talk to you. I need to tell you the truth about everything. I need you to forgive me. Please forgive me. I love you. So much. You're perfect and amazing and I don't know what to do without you. I c-can't lose you San. I didn't mean for this to happen. I w-was scared Sanny. S-S-Scared of 'us' being together again, I was scared of being hurt but I-I know now that I was foolish and stupid like you said. Only I don't care about that San. I agree I am stupid, I'm so fucking stupid. I should've trusted you when you said that P-Pucks kiss meant nothing to you. Artie means nothing to-to me. Especially in comparison to you, I guess he was just there. He doesn't treat me right San you do. I judged you and mistreated you because of one mistake. P-Please stay with me San. Remember all the times we spent together, the play dates, the actual dates? Please remember. Remember that time we made p-pancakes? And we tried to flip them but I dropped mine on Tubbs' head? Remember? And how you used to risk climbing up my tree during a s-storm to sing to me when I was scared? I would sing to you but I'm not as a good a singer as you but remember that? And the time we danced in the rain on your 15th birthday? Remember? Please stay San. You can call me stupid everyday if you want as long as you come back to me, hold me in your arms and say you love me as much as I love you. If I lose you I don't think I could handle it. Please Sanny. Please come back to me.' I was sobbing my whole body shaking with sadness, my head was buried into her hand.
(please)
'I could never leave you.' I heard a soft voice say. Her British accent unmistakeable in the quiet room. I slowly raised my head convinced my mind was playing tricks on me. But when I looked up I was met with perfection. Her soft pouty lips curled up in a weak smile and her mocha coloured eyes staring into my blue ones. And as her eyes met mine she whispered. 'hey.'
'Santana?' I asked still unsure if what I was seeing was true.
'yeah Britt-Britt. I'm ok. Now you're here.' I leapt forward and kissed her. I felt a jolt of electricity course through my body as I felt the familiar sensation of her lips against mine. It had been too long and I missed her so.
Pulling away I rested my forehead against hers. 'Don't ever scare me like that again. Or I swear to god I will kill you.' she smirked and pulled me back in for another kiss.
'I won't Britt-Britt, I'm sorry. I love you Brittany. You're my only one.'
/
THE END.
