A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, I really hope the story isn't confusing. I wasn't sure about the ending of this chapter, so if you want to leave a review and tell me what you think, that'd be a really big help because I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Anyways, I hope you enjoy. :)
He wants to kiss her.
He wants to steal her breath away.
He wants her to kiss him back.
He wants her to leave her husband.
He wants her.
He tries to temper these feelings, push them down, but when the feelings are so strong, it gets harder and harder to do so. When he spends so much time with her, he can't help but let these feelings stream out, little by little, like air leaking from a balloon. Then when he thinks that she's married, he feels deflated. Then, against his better judgment, he sincerely hopes that her husband is cheating her. After that thought, he berates himself for wishing her that kind of pain.
Or at least he thinks there would be pain, but as the days go by, he's not sure there would be. "Stephanie?" he says one day when they're taking a hike. Stephanie, he finds, loves the outdoors. She drags him to all these trails that he would never have even thought of otherwise. He's never been a hiker, but he finds he loves the solitude of it and if they're hiking through the mountains, the view from the top is almost as breathtaking as she is.
She looks back at him and stops. They're surrounded by trees and the sounds of the forest and while he doesn't think that it's romantic, it has its own cache in a strange way. "Yeah?" she asks.
"Nothing, it can wait until we get to the top," he tells her and she smiles and reaches her hand for him. He takes it and she lugs him up a few steps and then lets go before they continue on in silence. He can't say that he hates the view though, her pants hugging her ass every time she takes a step up. He's glad that she can't see his face because he's sure that he has a look of lust in his eyes and though he tries to stop it, it's hard.
So they make it to the top and it's a beautiful view and they take a seat on top of the mountain and she grabs her backpack, taking out the lunch they brought. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; he almost feels like a kid again, sitting out at lunch, except the view is a lot nicer and the company a lot better. She hands him his sandwich and the first bite after a long hike is always the best he finds. He grabs his own backpack and takes out the waters they've kept stored in there specifically for their lunch and sets hers down next to her.
"Paul hates hiking," Stephanie tells him as they sit there. "I go alone a lot because of it. It's nice to have the company."
"I'm not surprised."
"By what? The fact that it's nice to have company or the fact that Paul hates hiking?" she jokes.
"Hiking, it doesn't seem like it would be his thing," Chris says, "in fact, what is his thing? You two don't seem to have anything in common and the door to his office at your house was locked. Don't you find that weird?"
"Well, for one, he likes bodybuilding competitions," she tells him. He snickers. He can't help himself. He knew that Paul was into weightlifting and everything, but he doesn't keep himself abreast of Paul's extracurricular activities such as it was. "What?"
"I'm sorry, but that's such a weird hobby."
"Aren't all hobbies weird in some way?"
"I don't think your hiking hobby is weird."
"Hiking isn't a hobby, it's an activity, but I would say my penchant for weird souvenirs is kind of odd, wouldn't you say? Then you're like some idiot savant with metal music, so I would say that's a little weird."
"Metal music is not weird," he says defensively, pretending to be outraged at the mere assumption that something he likes is weird.
"To the level that you do, Chris, you took me into what you refer to as your metal room. Now at first, I thought that it was going to be a room entirely made of metal, which, as it were, would probably be a weirder hobby, but you have so much metal stuff that it's a little weird."
"I'm not weird," he says, but it's in a way that lets her know he's joking with her. "Okay, so this bodybuilding thing, does he actually go to events and stuff?"
"Yeah, he does, when he has the time. He likes weights, but hasn't anyone told you that sometimes opposites attract. Is it so farfetched that I could enjoy the man's company without having to share the same hobbies with him?"
"I guess it's not," Chris says thoughtfully, rubbing his chin a little as he takes another bite of his sandwich, waiting for the peanut butter to get unstuck from the roof of his mouth. "I just picture couples doing things together. I mean, I've never been married or had a serious relationship-"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold up, before we continue, you've never had a serious relationship?" Stephanie asks incredulously. "You're how old and you have never had a serious relationship, how is that even possible?"
"Hello, wrestler," he responds, gesturing towards himself. "I don't have the time or the patience to maintain a relationship with someone while I'm on the road. I'm not just a wrestler, you know, I do other things and I just don't have time for it. It's not to say that I don't have relationships, I do, they just never last."
"What has been your longest relationship?"
He thinks about it for a moment, going over women in his mind. They tend to fuzz around the edges though and he's not sure if that's because he never really had a long relationship or if Stephanie is causing all of the other women who have entered his life to suddenly fade from his memory. It's probably the former, but he really, really wants to believe in the latter. "Probably around seven months," he finally answers.
She whistles. "Boy, you need to get yourself a real girlfriend."
"Yeah, not sure there's anyone out there who wants me."
"Bullshit," she singsongs to him and he looks over at her. "Do you know how many women and probably a lot of men want you?"
"Yeah, but there's a difference between wanting me and being compatible with me," he tells her. "I mean, look at you and Paul. You guys are nothing alike, but you work…at least you tell me you work. Still haven't explained the office thing."
"The office thing is just a thing, he likes to keep the door locked and I don't really care."
"You're probably the best wife ever, I mean, he could have contraband in there or something or another women locked up in the room," he hints and he's not subtle, but she could always just think he's joking.
"Then I should really start putting plates of food underneath the door for her," Stephanie laughs and then she laughs some more and then she laughs a little bit more and he can't help himself, he's laughing too. They're sitting there, feeling like they're on top of the world and laughter has never felt so good to him. "I let him have his privacy and I have mine."
"Is that why you love him?" he asks.
"What do you mean?"
"Because he lets you keep your independence."
"You think I love him because he lets me still be independent? That's what you're trying to say, right?" she says and he can't tell if she's angry or not. Still, he nods his head and she looks out towards the horizon. "I don't know, I've never thought about it, but I guess it's part of the appeal. I've always been an independent person and I guess I like that."
He scoffs. "I just can't imagine not wanting to be around you."
"Excuse me?"
"How does Paul do it?" Chris asks. "I don't get how he doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you. You are quite possibly the most fascinating, coolest person I've ever met in my entire life. How anyone, let alone your husband, wouldn't want to be around you all the time just doesn't process with me."
"That's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me," she tells him, trying to hold in her grin and he doesn't want her to. He wants to see her smile widely at him. He wants a smile that he can call all his own, that she reserves for him and him alone. "No lie."
"I didn't think you were lying, just wondering why more people don't tell you that."
"I think most people see the person that I portray on television and believe that's really me, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm okay with it though. It just means that I don't have to sign as many autographs, right? Plus, a lot of people think that Paul is off-putting so that helps too," she kids, but he can tell it hurts her a little that everyone sees her like that.
"Well then more time for me then," he tells her and he can tell that she knows he's genuine by the look she's giving him. It's thanks mixed with something else. The breeze is making the hair loose from her ponytail fly against her face and there's a smudge of something on her cheek just under her eye. It must have been when she was resting her hand on some dirt and then rubbed it on her cheek.
He reaches out and touches it, "You have some dirt on your cheek."
"A little dirt never hurt anyone," she says softly and he's aware that her voice is different.
"You're right, but it takes a little bit away from the beauty," he tells her and he doesn't mean it to sound sappy, but it kind of does. She doesn't seem to notice though because she's staring straight at him. He doesn't know if she wants this, but he wants this so bad that he starts to lean in closer. He goes slowly though, not wanting to scare her. His nose nuzzles hers a little bit and their lips are a breath away. He can feel the warm air whooshing from her mouth and onto his lips and her eyes are still open and staring at him. "I want to kiss you."
"We shouldn't," she tells him, her voice so soft that it's almost impossible for him to hear it over the pounding of his heart.
"I know," he tells her, his nose still pushing against hers as he tilts his head to the side a little.
"Chris," she says. "You're my best friend."
"I know," he tells her again, unsure of what else to say. "I can't help it."
"Can't help what?" she wonders.
"Falling for you," he confesses. He starts to lean in a little more, but Stephanie pulls her face away and turns the other way. He pulls back as if burned and he can feel that burning on his cheeks as he looks away too, his eyes focusing back on the horizon even though the view isn't as pretty right now.
"Chris, you shouldn't," she says and it cuts through his heart.
"I can't help it, I said that," he tells her, looking down at the rock their sitting on, wishing an earthquake would come and open up a huge crack that he can fall endlessly through. "I spend more time with you and I just can't help it. I don't understand why Paul won't-"
"Don't bring him into this," she cuts him off and then turns to him. "Please don't bring him into this."
"I think he's cheating on you," Chris admits.
"What? Excuse me?"
"I just, there's been some weird things going on and it just seems."
"I told you not to assume," Stephanie says. "You don't…"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you," he laughs at himself. "God, I guess I was just hoping that you would want to be with me, I don't know, I had this weird…when you were talking and how you want to be independent, I don't know, I just feel like, if I were ever married, I'd want to spend time with my wife, but it's like Paul isn't a part of your life, except for living in the same house, it's like you aren't even together and I guess I just wanted to show you that there are guys that want to spend time with you and do the things you do and…I'm stupid because you're married."
"I am married."
"Yeah, I'm sorry," he says, "I'm stupid and now I have to go down an entire mountain thinking about it and feeling like an idiot."
"Don't," she puts her hand on his and gives it a squeeze. "Believe me, if I wasn't married…"
"If you weren't married…" He wants her to finish her thought.
"If I wasn't married, are you kidding me? I'd probably throw you down right now and what better place to have some fun?" she jokes, trying to ease the mood. It doesn't exactly help because he's still embarrassed about what happened. He wishes he could say something or do something to erase it from her mind, but it happened and he has to live with this awkwardness now and he just hopes that it doesn't affect their friendship.
"That's nice," he tries to remain upbeat and match her joking tone, but it's strained.
"Chris," she simply says, looking at him in sympathy, like she feels sorry for him that he had these feelings at all.
"No, no, it's okay, don't worry, sorry," he shakes his head.
They stare out at the world at their feet and then she says something that shocks him to his very core. "Give me some time, okay?" He stares at her, just staring, not knowing what to say. "Just time, okay?"
"Okay."
In the future, Chris wakes up with a smile on his face.
Something has changed, he can feel it.
