Yes, I know, Ziva is OOC, but I don't care. I like my Ziva more. Enjoy.


Ziva stood across the dance floor watching a visually upset Senior waving his hands frantically and yelling at his son, she tried to listen in, but the music was too loud to hear their conversation. Tony repeatedly nodded as his father became more and more angry.

Senior turned his head, glaring at Ziva, he spoke a few more words and walked away.

Tony headed towards Ziva unbuttoning the upper buttons on his uniform, "Well, that was pleasant."

"What was that about?" Ziva asked.

"Oh, not much: Savannah hates you, she's embarrassed, royally pissed and she thinks you ruined her wedding."

"What? Ruined her wedding?"

"You did ask the priest to hurry up the wedding, Ziva"

Ziva gritted her teeth, "True, but that was because of what I said to you."

"Yeah, well, I have to tell ya, I didn't really get that, why would you want to vacuum at a wedding?"

"What?" Ziva squinted hard at Tony, "'Vacuum?'"

"Yeah, you mouthed the words, 'I want to vacuum.' What was up with that?"

"Why would I want to vacuum, Tony? Vacuum? That does not make any sense at all."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I said, 'I want to fuck you.'"

"Huh, heh. That actually makes sense." Tony cupped Ziva's face, "I want to vacuum you, too."

Ziva laughed, "It does look like it."

"Yeah." Tony smiled, giving her a peck on the lips, "But, uh, pardon my lip reading skills, they apparently suck."

"There is nothing wrong with sucking, if it is done right, yes?" Ziva smirked, pulling his head down to her, kissing him back.

Savannah and Senior walked up behind them, her eyes burning holes in Ziva. Tony eased back from the kiss, "Oh yeah, she definitely hates you." He whispered.

Savannah sat down at a table, her eyes never wavered from Ziva.

Ziva sighed, walking over to her, "Uh, Ziva." Tony reached out for her, but missed her. He quickly moved up behind her as she pressed her hands to the table.

"What I said was rude and totally out of character for me, I have the utmost respect for other people's customs and cultures, but my thoughts got the best of me and I do apologize, please forgive me." Ziva sincerely spoke.

Savannah didn't say a word, "You need to leave." Senior said looking at Ziva, two security guards came walking up behind them.

"Are you serious, Dad?"

"Not you, Junior, just her."

"Uh, no. She goes, I go, Dad."

"Then leave." Savannah angrily uttered, pointing towards the entrance, "Get out, bitch!"

"Bitch?" Ziva repeated, she raised her hands off the table and leaned forward, "BITCH?" Tony quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back.

Tony lifted her, carrying her backwards, he swung her around. Sarah was standing in front of them, "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, we have to go." Tony replied, setting Ziva down, but not letting go of her.

"Sarah! Get over here!" Savannah yelled, stepping around the table, "Now young lady!"

Sarah looked at her mother, "Can I get a hug before you leave, Ziva?"

Ziva smiled, "Of course." She knelt down, giving Sarah a hug, "It was nice meeting you."

Sarah smiled, "Take care of my big brother, okay?"

"I will." Ziva said, caressing Sarah's cheek with the back of her fingers, "Bye."

"Bye!" Sarah ran over to her mother, "Mommy, I wanted be like Ziva when I grow up!"

If looks could kill, Savannah's facial expression would've killed everyone in the room. A HUGE smile washed over Ziva face as she waved, "She's so cute, can we kidnap her?" Ziva whispered.

"That would put us on Santa's naughty list, Ziva."

"I'm Jewish."

"Sorry, it's still a no, but hey, she finally got your name right."

Ziva laughed, "Yeah, she did."


Tony and Ziva walked along the beach as the sun was setting, she bent down looking at a piece of clothing, "I think that is mine."

"What?" Tony asked.

Ziva picked up the shirt, "This is my shirt...oh, no." She ran up the beach, but stopped as she reached the beach houses, she lowered her head, letting out a deep sigh.

Tony caught up to her, Ziva's clothing was everywhere, her suitcase was dumped in front of their beach house, her new dress was rolled into a ball, covered in sand, he shook his head in disgust, "Go kick her ass."

"No, I deserved this." Ziva replied, she picked up her dress, brushing it off, "I wanted to wear this for you."

"Then put it on." Tony said, placing his hands on her shoulders, pushing the pink dress off her shoulders and down her arms. Ziva turned to him, he grabbed at his civil war coat, snapping the buttons off, he flung it across the beach.

Ziva laughed as he started taking his pants off, "What are you doing?"

"What, you've never see The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia?" Tony kicked his legs out, trying to get the pants off his shoes. He hopped on one foot until he finally kicked the pants aside. He stood in front of Ziva wearing just a white t-shirt, boxers, socks and shoes and his shoulder holster, "Plus, I REALLY hate the civil war."

Ziva looked him up and down, "Now that is what I call sexy."

"Sarcasm? From you? Nawwww. Or maybe, just maybe it's the shoulder holster?" Tony nodded, he slowly started to grin, "Yeah. Chicks dig the shoulder holster."

Ziva rolled her eyes at his silliness, "My turn, turn around."

"Why?"

"Because I want it to be a surprise. Go on, turn around, do it."

"You're actually going to change your dress here?

"I'm wearing underwear, it's like a bikini, now turn around."

A happy Tony turned away from Ziva, rapidly rubbing his hands together, "I hope you're wearing that new underwear I heard about." He joked.

Ziva tugged at the dress, pulling it down her body, she quickly stepped out of it and into her blue summer dress, sliding it up her body, she ran her hands over her dress, smoothing out the material over her body, "You can look now." Tony spun around, she was still brushing at her dress, "How do I look?"

Tony eyes sparkled as he gazed upon her, he was speechless, he eventually stepped forward, holding out his hand, "May I have this dance?"

Ziva laughed, "What?"

Tony took her hand in his, caressing her lower back with the other, he slowly twirled in her circles, heading for a pair of cargo pants, he stopped, dipping and

kissing her softly, "Ground floor, cargo pants."

Ziva laughed, picking them up, he pulled her back up, holding her in his arms, "You're crazy, you know that?"

Tony smiled at her, "Crazy? Is that what they're calling it now?" And they were off again, twirling towards another piece of clothing, Ziva laughing the whole time.

"What in the hell is that boy doing?" Vincenzo asked. He and Sophie were watching Tony and Ziva dancing from across the beach, "Where are his pants?"

"Can't you tell that boy's in love?" Sophie replied, giving Vincenzo a love tap on the arm, "Good for him, I like her."

Vincenzo bent down picking up a piece of very small black material, he looked at it funny, "What is this?"

Sophie turned, she carefully examined it, "I think those are...panties?"

"Where's the rest of them?" Vincenzo laughed, holding them out in front of him, "Hey, do you think..."

"No, I am not wearing those." Sophie started to laugh, taking them from husband. She walked forward, "Hey, you two." Tony spun Ziva towards Sophie's voice, "Are these yours, sweetie?"

Ziva ran over collecting her panties, a tad embarrassed, "Thank you" She quickly scrunched them up and hid them in her fist.

Sophie smiled, "You're welcome." Her eyes traveled to Tony, "Anthony Durante DiNozzo, Junior, put some damn pants on, your mother raised you better than that."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Come, dear, I'll help you collect your clothes."

Ziva nodded, "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What was Tony's mother like?"

"She was beautiful, funny, smart, the sweetest person I've ever known and she always happy. God, she loved her boy and he loved her." Sophie laughed, "He was such a mama's boy, I'll have to send you photos of him and her when he was a kid."

Ziva smiled, "Please do!"

Sophie picked up a shirt, shaking the sand off, "When she died, he changed."

"How so?"

"Lets just say, his father choices, weren't so good."

"They are not getting much better, it seems."

Sophie let out a small laugh, "No, no they're not."

"How did she die?"

"Female cancer." Sophie turned to Ziva, handing her the shirt, "Do you love him?"

Tony, now wearing pants, ran up to them, "I got the rest of your clothes, Ziva. A quick question, though: why did you bring so much stuff? You must've had seven or eight pairs of shoes and boots in there, it's like you're moving or something."

Ziva tilted her head towards Tony, then back at Sophie, "I do."

Sophie placed her right hand on Ziva's upper left arm, squeezing it gently, "Good." She smiled and turned to Tony, patting him on the chest, "I expect to see you two at Thanksgiving."

"I will make sure he is there." Ziva accepted her invitation with a smile.

"Are you two leaving already?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, we were told to leave, as well, your uncle called Savannah bat-shit crazy or something."

"Heh." Tony stepped to Sophie, giving her a hug, "You're my favorite Aunt, you know that?"

"I'm your only Aunt!" Sophie laughed, she pulled back, "C'mere." She side stepped Tony hugging Ziva, "He might not admit it right away, but loves you, too." She whispered, kissing her on the cheek as she backed away, "Vinny, get over here and say goodbye."

Vincenzo huffed and puffed drudging through the sand, he stopped next to them, "You got a good woman there, Anthony, she eats meat, what more could a guy want?"

"Heh. It was good to see you." Tony shook his hand, but Vincenzo pulled him into a huge bear hug.

"Take care of yourself, son and keep in touch, huh?" Vincenzo reached out, putting his arm around Ziva, "Walk with me."

Ziva and Vincenzo walked towards the parking lot, "It was nice meeting you." She said with a smile.

"Yeah, I am pretty great."

Ziva laughed.

"Hey, don't let my dickhead brother influence you about Anthony, he's nothing like his father, he's a good man, he acts like a DiNozzo too much, but hey, what ya gonna do, huh?" Vincenzo smiled.

"Yeah, I think he's pretty fucking great, too." Ziva grinned.

Vincenzo laughed and hugged Ziva goodbye, "She cusses, she gets gettin' better and better and remember, if you need meat, I'm your man."

"You just can't help himself, can you?" Sophie walked up, shaking her head, she grabbed Vincenzo's arm hauling him off to their car, "She doesn't want your meat, Vinny."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Yeah, but how?"

"Vinny!"

"Alright, alright, she may not want my meat, I'm just saying, if she does, ya know? I'll give her a good price, she's almost family!"

"Sorry about Vincenzo, he has the DiNozzo curse of BSing and never being able to shut up." Tony said, lugging Ziva's suitcase over to her, he groaned setting it down, "You ready to go?"

"Do you think they would adopt me?" Ziva asked, smiling, but it quickly disappeared.

"What's wrong, Ziva?"

"I need a place to stay, Tony."

"I figured as much, what happened?"

"Mossad stopped payment on everything, my apartment, my car, I was given until Sunday to leave my apartment."

"Because of you becoming a U.S. citizen?"

"Something like that, I was stupid for not seeing it coming. I also had hope my father would come around, but...Abby said I could always stay with her until I found a new apartment."

"Yeah, I guess you could...but uh, I have this king sized Sleep Number bed and Uh, it's pretty big and umm...well, my sleep number is 70, what's yours?"

"I do not know."

Tony let out a smile, "Lets go find out."


Ziva sat in the passenger seat of Tony's car, waiting for him. Tony came running up fast holding something in his hand. He jumped into the driver's seat, handing her something wrapped in a napkin. He slammed on the gas, speeding away.

Ziva opened the napkin, inside was a piece of wedding cake, "That was all about getting a piece of cake?"

"Uh, yeah."

Ziva laughed and took a bite of the white cake covered with vanilla frosting.

"How is it?"

"It's good."

"Can I have some?"

"I dunno." Ziva said, sucking the frosting off of her fingers, "Can you?"

"It sure sounded good."

Ziva broke off a piece of cake and reached over. Tony opened his mouth, but she pulled it back, taking it into her mouth, she giggled, licking her lips.

"You're not going to share with me?"

Ziva lifted her legs, pressing her bare feet to the dashboard, she ran her fingers through the frosting and seductively spread it along her inner thigh.

Tony slid his fingers off the gear shift, easing his fingers between her legs. Ziva pressed her knees together, trapping his hand. He slipped his frosting covered fingers out, returning them towards his mouth. She clutched his wrist, first sucking on his thumb, then his fingers, one by one, very slowly.

Ziva turned, placing her knees in the seat, sitting on her feet. She elevated her hand, tossing the remaining cake across Tony's chest and out the window. Tony turned his head, but by the time he looked back, her head had disappeared into his lap. The sound of his zipper made him grab the steering hard, he gasped as her ponytail began to rise and fall rapidly.

Ziva raised her head, kissing him, "Stop the car." She uttered, falling back, she reached behind her, pulling up her dress and tugging at her panties as she kept her mouth busy. Tony turned into a long driveway, coming to a stop, he took a hold of her panties, ripping them off. She shot up, straddling him, hitting her head on the roof of the car, but she didn't stop, she lowered herself onto him, a sharp gasp escaped her lips as she felt him inside her for the first time. She gripped the hair on the back of his head, riding him as fast and as hard as she could. She yanked his head back, kissing him to start. It changed to a moan, then to a scream as she started to climax. She dropped her head, biting into the head rest of his seat. Her body shaking, his fingertips running down the length of her spine, adding to her pleasure.

Ziva opened her mouth, leaving a huge bite indentation in the leather, she fell back against the steering wheel, honking the horn. Tony grabbed her, pulling her to his chest, he let out a laugh, pulling her head back by her ponytail, her eyes were closed, "You hit your head, are you okay?"

Ziva smiled, but didn't answer.

The lights in the house at the end of the driveway turned on, "Oh Shit!" Tony exclaimed, slamming the car into reverse and gunning it.


Tony and Ziva laid in bed, spooning. She turned over, burying her face into his chest, she mumbled something. He leaned back, lifting her head, "What?"

"35."

"35? Amount of orgasms you had?"

Ziva laughed, snuggling up against him, "My sleep number."


Author Note #1 - I need a cigarette.

Author Note #2 - Tony didn't get any cake :( Guess he had to settle for pie.