Chapter 9
"Mmn, Kurt…" I smiled at the voice in my dream, slightly croaky, but in a way that was sexy instead of ill. I felt an exhalation on my face, warm soft breath, and then suddenly lips on mine in a small but slow kiss, moist lips that tasted like champagne and mince pies…
My eyes darted open.
"Blaine?"
The eyes of my kisser were glazed over, still half asleep, the expression on his face dreamy and beautiful. Then, like a switch, realisation hit. Blaine's eyes widened, his mouth opened to let out a scream and he moved backwards sharply, causing him to lose his balance and crash off the bed onto the floor.
"Blaine? Are you ok?" I said, almost laughing – I was still in shock. Blaine had just kissed me. Was this finally the moment I had been waiting for, praying for, for all this time? I moved my body across the bed to look down and saw him beginning to drag himself upright.
"What just-"
"I am SO sorry." My face fell.
"What?"
"I can't believe I did that, I'm so stupid!" Blaine got to his feet, rubbing his face roughly with his hand and my whole body went cold. Oh hell no.
"You're sorry?" I asked, my anger building quietly. This couldn't be happening…Blaine wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't go all the way through last night like he did and then be sorry.
"Yeah man, totally. That was-" Oh wait – he would.
"-No, I'm sorry." He paused, looking confused.
"What?"
"I'm sorry that I ever came to this damn event for you. I'm sorry that I looked forward to seeing you again, I'm sorry that I had the best night of my life thinking that you cared about me and that we were the only two people in that room that mattered. I'm sorry for everything I've ever thought about you and I'm sorry that you were too much of an ASSHOLE to tell me sooner!"
"Tell you what? Kurt, no!" I laughed, the sound suddenly devoid of any happiness, just harsh and sharp. Even now he just couldn't stop manipulating me.
"You don't let up do you? Give me a break, give everyone a break! I'm out of here." I stood up and began to stalk towards the door, hastily running my fingers through my hair to try and sort it out. Blaine stumbled after me, shouting things to try and get me to stop. I ignored him until I got to the door.
"You know, Mercedes said you were good for me, that you understood and could help. Well you don't understand anything!"
"Kurt-"
"-I HATE YOU!" And at that moment, I did. I hated Blaine for making me love him.
I didn't stick around to see his face crumple, turning around and wrenching the door open. By now tears were spilling from my eyes as they had done so often recently, my fingers fighting to wipe them away. Blaine tried to follow but the door slammed in his face. As I ran down the corridor and reached the stairs I saw a framed picture that I'd probably bumped into last night but hadn't noticed – it was of the Warblers, with Blaine as the figurehead. I don't know if it was to stop him from following me further, or just out of pure rage, but my fist slammed into the centre, the glass shattering around me and crashing onto the hard polished wooden floor. And then I left.
I knew I shouldn't be driving, but I had to get away as soon as possible. There was no way I could let Blaine catch me up – I was too scared that he would make up some more rubbish that would reel me back in again. As I screeched down the freeway, narrowly avoiding a Land Rover as I changed lanes, I realised in horror that Rachel had been right all along – that guys like Blaine and Jesse were only out to ruin your lives. Despite all the smooth talking and shows of affection, the only people they truly loved were themselves.
The sound of a horn blaring at me jolted me back to reality and I swerved out of the way of another car. This was ridiculous. Clicking on my indicators I moved into the hard shoulder and turned off the ignition.
Oh man. What had I done. As I rubbed my hands against my face, feeling them slide about against my tears, I suddenly became aware of the shooting pain in my right hand. My knuckles were covered in blood, with tiny little bits of glass still wedged between them – remnants of the picture I had destroyed. I tried to pick them out but my whole body was shaking, half in anger and half in desperate despair. What hurt the most, even more than my crimson hand, was the fact Blaine had lead me on. He'd actually let me believe that he liked me, that he wanted to hang out, that he wanted to kiss me. I could have coped with the rejection if he'd been straight, and told me from the start that he wasn't interested. But instead he'd lead me through a merry dance – and now I was the fool in tears at the side of the road.
"AAAAAAH!" I hit my hands against the steering wheel, immediately regretting it as the pain shot through and I screamed out again. I needed to get home, get myself cleaned up. I would wash myself of everything to do with Blaine, and maybe, maybe then I could begin to move on.
I cursed forgetting to bring my keys as I waited for Dad to open the door. I really wasn't in the mood for explaining and he would obviously try and make that happen. When he eventually appeared before me I quickly pushed past, hiding my bloody hand in my blazer pocket – not even caring that the stains would probably take at least a few washes to get out.
"Hey Kurt, wait! There's-"
"-Dad I don't want to talk I'm going upstairs." My feet stomped up the stairs and I wrenched open my door to get inside as quickly as possible, slamming it loudly behind me so he would know not to follow. It was only when I turned around to begin my long rant of crying and kicking things that I realised someone else was in the room.
"AAAH!" The shock made me fall back into the door and I held my hand up to my chest. For a second the only sound was my heavy breathing. "Holy crap Blaine you scared the life out of me!" I glanced up and saw that he looked almost as bad as I felt, his hair dishevelled and his Dalton uniform creased to oblivion. Wait – what was he doing here?
"How did you get in?"
"You're Dad let me in, I-"
"Get out."
"Kurt-" His voice was filled with dejection, but also frustration. I opened the door again, ready to make a scene if he was going to refuse to cooperate.
"-I didn't leave for you to follow me back here and-"
"-KURT!" Blaine took three quick steps forward and I readied my scream. "Listen, you've got it all wrong"
"Oh really and how would-"
"-When I said I was sorry it's not because I kissed you, it's because I should have done this."
And then it happened. Blaine took one final step forward to reach for my shoulders, pull me in close and press his lips to mine. At first shock ran through my whole body, so I was unable to do anything but stand frozen, struggling to quite comprehend the feeling on my mouth. But then, slowly I gave into the soft lips, caressing themselves over mine in a way that was tender but also intense. I let the smell of old hair product and cinnamon surround me, the sickly sweet taste of sugar paint the tip of my tongue, the sound of lips on lips fill my ears. Blaine moved his hands along my face to grip the back of my neck, the slight twinge of the hairs he accidentally pulled only adding to the experience, and pressed himself harder onto me, letting out a little noise that almost made me hyperventilate. His tongue pressed against my teeth and I let him in – not quite believing that this was happening right here, right now. If I'd thought the morning kiss had been spectacular, well this hit that right out of the park.
When we eventually broke free it was only because neither of us had any oxygen left – we both stood there panting, me pressed against the wall and Blaine with his hand on the open doorframe, holding himself upright. I looked at him, pure shock in my eyes and he smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.
"I hate to quote Twilight at a time like this, but that should have been our first kiss." I laughed, a breathless laugh that almost sounded like I was crying. Holy mother of Prada, this was really happening. Blaine joined in, moving to kiss me again before his eyes glanced over my injured hand.
"Oh my God Kurt, what happened to your hand?" He went to grab it but I quickly hid it behind my back.
"Nothing, just when I punched that picture…"
"No, there's glass in it and everything, we need to-" Blaine tried to reach round, his chest bumping into mine as he did so, but I cut him off by launching a kiss at him – not as smooth as his had been, but just as effective. Unable to stop he let me push him over to the sofa, leaning back into the cushions as I scrambled on top of him, my pulse racing.
"You know what," I said as we paused for breath again "you are a total idiot for not letting me know sooner." At this Blaine stopped, pushing himself upwards so I let out a little whimper of disappointment.
"Hey – I think I made it pretty obvious." He said defensively. "I'd been planning that night for weeks, I just didn't count on me getting drunk and accidentally kissing you before I was supposed to." Now it was my turn to stop.
"So, you…"
"Yes, that was what I was trying to say, before you ran off and started punching pictures."
"And the web cam thing…?" He sighed.
"Yes." I put my hand over my mouth.
"Oh boy, I am so sorry!" Blaine laughed, taking my hand away and resting it on his cheek, pulling me in closer so he could wrap his arm around my side.
"It's ok now, it happened, eventually." I snuggled my face into his neck, sighing with pleasure at the sound of his heartbeat, almost in sync with mine.
"But if we are really going to work this boyfriend and boyfriend thing, you have GOT to stop overreacting to everything I say." I laughed, stroking my fingers down Blaine's collarbone. There was only one word that had mattered in that sentence, the word I had thought I might never hear escape his lips. Boyfriend.
"I promise."
