Tonight I feel like I've lost my mind. The storm wages in my mind and I can't find clarity in anything. After I'm released back in my cell, I reach for Annie and notice that Johanna is not there. I can only hear her screams. The only two things holding me together is my genuine concern and love for Annie and Johanna. So I hold on to those feelings with everything I've got. I have to sit down because after the beating from yesterday, I'm badly injured. I'm shocked that nothing is broken. After this past year, I know the moment something breaks, even cracks. Well, my nose is broken for sure but at least that doesn't get in the way of my mobility. I am very sore. Aside from swelling and bruising I'm fine. It's unfortunate, I was really hoping that they would kill me. I'm startled when I see my wall open again and I see the same peacekeeper that fed me the information yesterday. He's not wearing his usual outfit. I don't have to think about it too much. Something is going on. He runs in and pulls out three syringes.

"Peeta you have to trust me."

"Are you going to kills me?" I ask feeling hopeful.

He's startled to hear my eager tone. "No Peeta… I don't have a lot of time. There is one for each of you."

"What is it?"

"I'll explain if you let me do this, deal?" I nod yes and Annie looks fascinated. He walks towards me and injects my arm. "It's steroids and some of the drugs that help clear up your mind. You're going to need it."

I grab his arm before he moves on to Annie. "What helps clear up my head?"

"I don't know Peeta. They'll figure it out." He says.

"Who?"

"Peeta, I don't have time. Help me with Annie" He says because Annie is backing away.

"Annie, please let him. I took it. Plus you can trust him, he wants to help Finnick." Upon hearing this she walks towards him and offers her arm.

"I can't stay for Johanna." He leaves me the syringe. "Make sure you inject her. It's going to give you strength, all of you. Good luck Peeta. Please, don't give up."

"Be careful." I say to him and I mean it. After he leaves I realize then that I don't feel so manic anymore and I am instantly feeling energized. I look at Annie. "How are you feeling?"

She smiles at me. "Good."

"What do you think is going on?" I wonder and her guess is as good as mine.

She pulls me towards her and whispers in my ear. "We're going home."

I hear a loud blast above us, far, but definitely above us. Annie and I stare at each other and she looks horrified.

"Annie, look at me. Look at me." She focuses on my eyes. "If we are going home, you need to hold it together. We can do this, you can do this. Ask yourself now, do we live or die. If you choose to live, you have to fight. We're fighters, we're killers, really… and we're going to need to fight." She stares at me then she closes her eyes for a long time. She opens them again and she looks clam serene and confident.

"Annie – we're going to make them pay. I promise. I will protect you." She reaches out and grabs my hand. Johanna's wall slides open and soldiers throw Johanna's naked body into the cell. I'm startled and furious to see them discard her as if she were garbage. She literally flies across the cell, crashing into the bars, and landed at our feet.

"Jo!" I scream to her. She's unconscious and I can see that her lips are blue. My fingers feel her neck and wrists looking for a pulse. I lay my hand over her chest and there is no heartbeat. "Annie! She's not breathing she has no heartbeat. No!" Just then, the bars dividing us slide down into the floor. Annie responds immediately. She starts to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. I can't believe it, the only person that can save her is Annie. "Jo, come on baby, breathe. Please breathe. Don't leave me. Not now. It's almost over." It doesn't take long, water comes bursting out of her mouth, clearing her lungs. Annie turns her on her side and Johanna begins to cough furiously, gasp, with water running out of her. I remember the syringe. I go to get the remaining one and walk towards her as she tries to recover. Her eyes are swimming and she isn't fully conscious yet. "Jo, baby, please stay with us. This may help." I inject the syringe into her arm and wait. It takes a few minutes but her eyes finally look steady and she focuses on me. She's resting against Annie, as she holds her protectively. I reach out and kiss Annie on the forehead. "Thank you so much sweetie. Thank you." I feel Johanna's arm wrap around me and I'm delighted by the feeling of strength."

We begin to hear a long series of blasts above us, closer and closer. I grab the three empty syringes and stick them in my pocket. Just then, my wall slides open and a group of masked and armed men stand before us. One man, removes his mask.

"I'm lieutenant Boggs, from District 13. We don't have a lot of time."

Annie stands up and I lift Johanna to her feet. "Can you walk?" But she starts to laugh and cry at the same time. She's in no condition. I don't let her answer I lift her in my arms. I'm shocked that I can hold her so easily, then I have to remember that she's as emaciated as I am and she was already tiny to begin with. Another soldier approaches me.

"I can carry her; you're going to need all your strength." The soldier goes to reach for her but I feel fiercely protective of her. She and Annie are all I have now in this world, and I'm not about to hand her over so easily.

"No." I say sternly.

"Peeta, please… we will have to fight on the way out, we need to guard you…."

I don't let him finish I hand her over because there is only one thing in this world that would have made me hand her over to a stranger, the certainty that I'm going to make the ones that hurt us pay for everything they did to us. "I promise you, no one is going to need to guard me from them." I look at Johanna and she gives me her devilish smile as one of the soldiers offers her a jacket.

"I may join you gorgeous." She says to me. I lean towards her and kiss her lips. I then feel Annie's arms wrap around us and I smile. I pull away from them.

"Lead the way Lieutenant." I say to Boggs.

We enter my torture chamber and I'm shocked to see the large quantity of blood in here. They hadn't cleaned up yet. I'm furious when I see it. Before we can exit three Capitol soldiers run in, clearly not expecting a rescue mission. Too bad for them, I know them, I know exactly who they are. The monster that I feel lurking inside of me comes forward and I don't intend on stopping it. Before anyone can stop me, I charge them. To say I destroyed them is in understatement, I throw the third man's limp body on the metal bed that held me this past year. I turn around and I see horror in Boggs.

"Lead the way Lieutenant." Then I look at the masked soldier holding Johanna. "If she's to stay in your arms you better make sure she's in one piece by the time we make it out of here." I'm threatening and I mean it. "Annie – are you okay?" She' staring and the dead bodies in the room and she still looks calm and collected." She nods yes.

We finally run out and make our way down the corridor I'm now familiar with. This time, random doors open and soldiers attack us. Every time, the monster in me explodes and it's as if I were in the Games again. These are not humans they are mutts. They'd have to be to do what they did to us. I don't have a weapon and it's strange that all I'm using is my physical strength, no – total savageness because I couldn't possibly have strength now. Every time I turn to look at the District 13 soldiers, I can see the horror in their eyes, when they see what I'm doing. As I am fighting, I feel a body fall on me. I turn around and push a soldier off me, another one of my torturers, I look down and I see a knife sticking out of his chest. I turn around and I see Johanna, no longer being held, but she's standing on her own two feet. Looking steady, calm, cool, and deadly. Suddenly, the soldier that had been holding her crumbles forward and he reaches to hold his shoulder. He's been shot. He can still walk and run, so we run, we keep running, but every time I see the faces of the ones that hurt me, I stop and I intend to fulfill my promise. I will end them. I realize that Johanna has joined my effort. Of course she would. The steroids are finally kicking in.

I feel beside myself. There is a static buzz in my brain and with every kill, the more exhilarated I feel. I've killed more Capitol soldiers with my bare hands than our District 13 rebels have with their weapons. As we make our way down the last corridor I go over the list of soldiers and doctors that hurt me, I got them all. Well no, except one, Snow. But he's not here. I run ahead following Bogs, anticipating freedom. A door opens and I feel fresh air hit me and somehow this sends new life through my body. Then it dawns on me, what I just did, the kills, the satisfaction it gave me. Snow did it, I am finally the menacing deadly Victor, that has left blood and murder in his path. Peeta is really gone.

Once we're outside, I notice that Annie stands by the door, no longer moving. I stop as everyone yells at me to keep going but I am not going to leave her behind. I run back and I can hear gun fire. I lift her in my arms and run back towards the craft that awaits us. We're the last ones on board. I set her down, I realize that her mind has left us. She kept together just long enough. After I set her down, I stand up and I catch my reflection in the window. I'm a monster. I'm covered in blood, try as I might, I don't regret it. They had to pay. I can't deny it, I feel satisfied. I turn and I see the rebel soldiers unmask themselves. Boggs, approaches me and salutes me, his soldiers follow suit.

"Peeta Mellark thanks to your heroic efforts, you saved District 13 civilians and priceless resources. We are forever indebted to you."

I smile nervously at him and then I look past him. I see Johanna, barely standing holding on to a seat. She's wearing a shirt we managed to put on her after we revived her. Like me, she's rabid and covered in blood. I think back to the seductive, raven haired beauty I saw for the first time in the Quell. She stands there emaciated, her raven hair gone, replaced by a shaved head, but her eyes are still brave and brazen. Like the first time I saw her, I can't look past her. She looks more beautiful than ever. I flash her a big smile and she smiles back at me. I walk towards her and she tries to straighten up, the moment she does, I lean down and my lips meet hers. I wrap my arms around her and I kiss her. I feel so happy and she kisses me back. We pull away and we look at each other in the eye and laugh. I never thought I would feel happy again. We start laughing again and embrace each other.

"You know it's the second time you kiss me today." She says

"Plenty to celebrate, don't you think. First you don't die and now we're free to fight back." I say. She hugs me and I kiss her cheek then move my lips towards her ear and I whisper. "I almost got all of them Jo."

"Snow can be our last one." She whispers back and I can hear the smile on her face.

"Hmm – yes. But before then, when we get to 13, I'm going to kill Katniss Everdeen." The moment I say this, Johanna tries to break free but I hold her to me, to protest I'm sure. "No, no Jo. She has to pay. As long as she's out there, I'm a target and I am not going to suffer because of her again."

She finally pulls away and she looks me in the eye, then she looks at my face. Her face looks sad for a few seconds but then she looks calm. Her body relaxes and she pulls away. I realize that everyone is standing around looking in our direction, awkwardly because I'm acting like they're not here. Johanna steps away from me and walks away. Suddenly, she grabs her knife turns back towards me and charges me, but my instincts are quick and I hold her back. I stare at her coolly, easily overpowering her. She struggles but she's much too weak still. I stand calm. It takes three rebels to separate us, and one has to sedate her. She collapses instantly and the young soldier catches her. I look at him and I notice his wounded shoulder. It's the same soldier that was carrying her, I trusted him with her life. I look around and everyone seems confused.

"What the hell happened?!" The young soldier inquires. I look at him because something about him is distracting me. I stare at him for a few seconds.

I smile at him "Who knows, it was pretty intense in there."

"Are you okay Mellark?" He says.

I look back at him because now his voice sounds familiar, I look at him for a long time and it finally registers. "Gale." I start to laugh immediately. "I had completely forgotten about you and I didn't even recognize you."

He looks like he relaxes a little and everyone else seems to calm down and they begin to sit down and buckle up. "You look like shit Mellark." He says laughing.

I smile at him.

"Don't worry I'm sure the prep team in 13 will fix you up."

My smile leaves me instantly. I look in Boggs's direction and I catch his eye. "I'm telling you right now, if a prep team even thinks about putting their filthy hands on me, I will end them. You can tell whoever is in charge in 13 the moment we land." I demand.

"Sorry Mellark, I didn't mean to upset you." Gale tells me.

I walk away and head towards the window all I want to do is look outside. I turn in Johanna's direction. "Is she okay?" I ask the soldier looking over her, he seems to be a medic.

"She's weak and not responding. She's breathing and her pulse is steady but she should have woken up with the medicine I gave her."

"Hmm – her heart did stop today. Her torture consisted of drowning today." I say casually and everyone looks horrified in my direction. I look away and stare out the window.

"Gale." I call to him and I can see his reflection in the window.

"Yes?"

"My family…" And I can't finish my question.

"I'm sorry Peeta. They didn't make it."

"I thought so – I felt it. I owed it to them to ask." I say feeling numb.

"My friends?" I ask as my mind wonders to Delly, Nathan, Silas, Madge, and Ivy.

"Madge died. I couldn't get to her in time. I tried…" And he looks so pained he can't finish.

My mind wonders to Madge, beautiful Madge. Part of me is glad she's not here anymore. Who knows how long this war will go on for and if we will win. She deserved so much more.

"Maybe it's better that she's no longer with us…" My mind wonders to the train ride on my way to the Quell. I wrote her a letter. "I wrote her a farewell letter before the Quell. I remember I wrote her that perhaps in another time and another place we could have made each other happy." I can see his reflection and he looks nostalgic. "When I think of her, it feels like a dream. Like there is no way someone as good as her really existed in this world. I think of the storm, that blizzard. How we lost ourselves in each other." I look at his face again and he looks pained by my comment. I smile feeling very satisfied with myself, I can't help my viciousness even under these circumstances. I've truly lost myself and I don't care. So I continue to hurt Gale, I don't even know why. "I made love to her again and again – pure bliss." I look at his face again in the window and he looks furious now. I look at his neck and something gets my attention. I turn around and look at him, his trachea appears to be moving sideways. "are you okay Gale?"

He suddenly grasps his chest. "I can't breathe." He gasps as he falls to his knees. A few soldiers stand and run to his side. The soldiers argue over his gunshot wound, they are certain the bullet went through so what is the problem. It didn't hit anything major. I come closer and I observe them. I know exactly what's happening. After a bad beating in the torture chamber, my lung collapsed. The soldiers weren't going to be merciful and let me die, so they used a syringe to stab my lung. I smile as I remember of the three syringes in my pocket. I pull one out, pull out the injection part of it. I kneel besides them and I notice that Gale hasn't taken his eyes off me. He looks nervous and he must detect the menacing look in my face. Then he spots the syringe and he looks terrified. Without warning anybody, I launch over them and stab the syringe into Gale's chest, well his lung really. Finally Gale gasps and he can breathe again. Everyone jumps back away from me. They're scared of me and I love it.

"Hawthorne- I always wanted to stab you with something."

He looks terrified.

"Peeta you should take a seat and try to relax" Boggs orders me sternly. I smile at him and stand up. I hear Annie begin to cry and I look at her thoughtfully. I approach her, lift her in my arms and I sit down with her in my lap. I start to rock her back and forth.

"There, there, my beautiful starfish. What's the matter? You did so well Annie."

"You're scaring me." I kiss her forehead. "Why did Johanna try to kill you?" She cries in her infantile voice.

"Shhhh – don't mind her Annie. You know Jo's crazy." I smile at her and kiss her nose. She cuddles me and presses her face into my chest.

Boggs then stands up and approaches us. "Peeta why don't you try to get some sleep. Buckle up and…"

I interrupt him. "Listen up Boggs, anyone ever tries to strap me down to anything, I will rip their throats out. Let that be a fair warning to everyone." I look around deadly serious. I catch Gale staring at me, and his eyes have real concern.

I'm sitting next to Annie but I can't stop staring at an unconscious Johanna.

"Is she okay?" I ask the medic observing her.

"I don't know, her vitals are okay, they could be better, but they're holding. I'm concerned that her body temperature is actually too low."

"We were always cold in there, we didn't have blankets, and sometimes we didn't even have the rags we're wearing today. Can I do something to help?"

"Yes, actually you can." He glances at Boggs who looks increasingly nervous as he studies me, probably trying to figure me out. So I stand up and walk towards him "I'm Dr. Thrive by the way – you can call me John." As he extends his hand out to shake mine. I sit on the edge of the cot she's laying on. I grab her hand and I start to rub it, it's ice cold. "Take off your shirt." I stare at him for a second wondering why and suddenly I feel nervous and weary of him. He stops and looks at me, his concerned expression softens. "I'm sorry Peeta, I'm used to working fast without giving explanations. I'm just going to have you lay next to her, as you hold her, and then I'm going to cover you with this thermal blanket." He lifts a shiny blanket out of a package. "Do you feel comfortable doing that? I'll also have to remove this shirt off her. Skin to skin contact is the best way to warm up."

I smile at him. "The best way to warm up really." The soldiers in the plane laugh. I look up at them and realize they are all observing me, they definitely don't know what to make of me. I'm manic at best or worst. John laughs. I look down at Johanna and realize that my joke is inappropriate, I want to help her. "I'm sorry. Bad joke." I take off my shirt and I hear one gasp in the plane. I feel embarrassed and self-conscious but I force myself to swallow my shame. I look at Dr. Thrive and he observes my torso.

"Peeta, I would like to examine you. Can I do that? You have serious lesions and…"

I cut him off "Your examination can be done with your eyes, whatever you imagine, is probably what happened. I don't want you to touch me. The lesions are burns, electrocutions, beatings, weapons, and so on… "

He nods. "Are you in pain right now? Any swelling anywhere?"

"Hum – I guess I'm in pain. I feel it every day so it seems normal, nothing out of the ordinary like other times. My leg is swollen." I unclip the prosthetic and show him.

He observes my knee closely. "I'm not going to touch you, I'm just looking." He assures me. "Well the prosthetic doesn't fit you anymore and that has aggravated your joints. There is a lesion that is infected. I'm going to give you strong antibiotics starting now to help fight any other infection. I'd also like to give you some pain medication that will make you sleep, you need rest. You can hold Johanna while you sleep. We'll have you fitted for a new prosthetic in 13. Anything else you want to share with me?"

I nod. "I've had a bump on my head for months and there seems to be a scab I think… It's always sore."

"May I?" he asks and I nod yes. He comes close to my head and I move my hair out of the way so that he can see the scab. He pulls away and he looks at me perplexed. "It's not a scab Peeta, it looks like you have a catheter implanted in your scalp. Were injecting something in there?"

"For the past six months – after the physical torture they would put me under, I think they were doing tests on me. My mind, my thoughts, are blurred. I don't remember things, specifically the Games and little to nothing about the Quell."

He covers his face with his hands, clearly horrified by what I'm telling him. "Peeta, we're going to figure out what they were doing. I can honestly tell you, things will get better now." He actually has tears in his eyes. I take a moment to study his face and he doesn't look much older than me really. He continues. "Peeta, I am going to be completely honest with you. That catheter and tests really concern me. We may have to do physical exams when we're in 13 to figure it all out. We will absolutely have to remove that from your head. Please be patient. I just want to give you a heads up. You're looking at an extended hospital stay and tests that will be difficult, especially for you after what you've been through."

I nod and I instantly like him. I'm touched by his genuine care, he is treating me like a human being, regardless of who I am. I didn't think I would ever see this kindness again. "I will try, I promise. And thank you. For your kindness." He looks startled to hear me say that.

He hands me four pills that I swallow with water. He then insists that I have to have soup with the medicine. So I do, I end up having three bowls. By the time I'm done with the third bowl I can barely keep my eyes open. I lay down next to Johanna. I then see Dr. Thrive take a pair of scissors.

"Peeta, I'm going to cut off Johanna's shirt. Don't be alarmed okay. I'm not going to hurt her." I nod understanding and I believe him. When he's done, I embrace Johanna's tiny body. She's freezing cold. "I'm sorry all we have is this old cot for you to rest on." He smiles.

I laugh "We've been sleeping on a cold cement floor for the past year. This is luxury." I laugh again and I look at him but he's not laughing, not even smiling.

"I'm sorry Peeta. I'm going to take good care of you." I look at his face and I believe him.

I feel sleep taking over. "Wait!" I call out to him. I pull out the syringe that was used on me earlier. "Here, they injected steroids in all of us so that we would be strong enough for the escape. But, the man that gave me mine said that mine had something else, so that I could think straight. He left some in the vile so that you could figure out what it is."

He looks puzzled when I say this.

"My mind – it's not like before…" I finally fall asleep holding on to Johanna, willing her to warm up.

When I wake up I'm laying down on a bed surrounded by people wearing white coats, I'm startled and immediately sit up. John is at my side instantly.

"Hi Peeta. You're in District 13 now. You're fine." He reassures me. I nod but I feel nervous and I begin to feel the storm brew in my mind again. "Peeta, are you feeling okay?" He asks.

I nod no.

"Okay, while you were under we examined your head again. The catheter was almost on the surface so we removed it. You have three stitches. I hope it doesn't upset you that we did this while you were out. I honestly wanted that out of you as soon as possible."

I nod. "That's fine. Thank you" I respond. "Where's Annie and Johanna?"

"They're being examined in other rooms. They're fine Peeta. Annie is holding up okay, she'll see Finnick soon. Johanna has not regained consciousness and we're having a hard time raising her body temperature. You helped but the moment we got here it started to go down again. We're watching her, we can treat her now that we're in a hospital. I'll let you know as soon as she's conscious." He assures me.

I nod and I grab my head, I feel that buzzing in my head, and I feel like I'm about to lose control.

"Peeta are you okay?" John asks again.

I nod no. Then I see the doctors look away from me towards the door and one of them says that they should give us some time. They walk away and so does John.

I stare at the wall then I hear tiny footsteps approaching me from behind. I turn around nervously and I see her. Katniss. I see the ghostly gray eyes that haunt me at night, I didn't imagine them. I can feel my heart pounding and I start to breathe quickly. The storm in my mind consumes me and I feel tears jump to my eyes. I jump off the table, and land on just one leg, but it doesn't matter. I don't need both. She's only at arm's length. I reach out to her and she actually rushes towards me with a smile in her face, and I hate it. Before she can wrap her arms around me I wrap my hands around her throat and slam her against the wall. A small scream escapes her but I will make sure it's the last thing she ever does. I then slam her to the floor. I hear doctors run back in and try to separate my grasp from her but they don't succeed. Then I see his face, Haymitch, probably the only other person I want to kill as much as Snow. This distracts me enough for the doctors to pull me away and immediately inject something into my neck. I'm out in a second. I fall on the floor next to her unconscious body, I hope it was enough.