The ownership of all characters related to and involving Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun, remain the sole property of Stephanie Meyer, Little Brown and any affiliates. No copyrights have been infringed on maliciously.
A/N: This chapter is shorter than my usual; only five pages (it's an anomaly – don't worry), but it's more of a filler chapter as I split it from the original, larger chapter for Twenty-One. Enjoy.
MIDNIGHT SUN 2.0
~ CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE ~
PROWLER
"You're very quiet, Alice. I don't know whether to be thankful for that or nervous."
Glancing at her warily from the corner of my eye, I watched her sitting ramrod straight and perfectly still in the passenger seat of the Volvo as we sped along the all but empty streets of Forks towards the Swan's home; her stiff, standoffish posture indicating everything that she would not yet voice and it made me dread what would come next. It shouldn't really have been an issue for me to discern the motivation behind her reluctance to divulge, had her silence been confined to merely her usual verbal barrage, but as it had spread to that of her thoughts as well, it made it all the more difficult...and frustrating.
Silence – or perhaps discretion was a more accurate description at the moment – on Alice's part, in any form, was a novelty…one that was completely uncharacteristic. Her blunt, and at times, harsh insistence of honesty coupled with her refusal to allow for an easier choice that was wrong versus a harder choice that was right, was often a source of aggravation on my part, but at the moment, I would have preferred even that to the disinterest she was now displaying…an indifferent Alice, for any reason – contrived or not, was a dangerous thing.
Carefully – and deliberately – blank, her only focus was on the road ahead of us; the intermittent swish of the windscreen wipers collecting the rain from the windshield, the pattern of movement from the wind riffling through the trees, the gentle drainage of the water seeping away into the storm water conduits, the occasional pedestrian ducking hastily for shelter inside their homes or under an overhang…Alice was very, very careful to think of nothing more than that. Even as she could feel my intense scrutiny, she refused to allow herself to be drawn into my speculation.
The irony in this situation was glaringly obvious and mocked me more than it did her. For every opinion I had ever wanted Alice to keep to herself that she wouldn't, I now wanted the one she would not give. Only minutes ago as I had walked towards her across the lot I had been grateful that she was not…now however, I was the opposite.
Feigning patience and hiding my irritation as I silently consented to playing along with her for the moment and knowing that she would only talk to me once she felt I was ready to actually listen to what she had to say, I concentrated instead on the short journey and the destination at its end, almost relishing the opportunity to be inside of the Swan's home alone.
Leaving Bella had been nothing short of a Herculean effort; every step away from her feeling as though it would somehow break apart the stone-hewn molecular bonds that held me together, but I knew that it was something that had to be done. Time apart from her was my only option now – the distance I needed in order to properly rationalize what I would do next was essential, but if I was honest with myself, the chance to further learn what defined her was now temporarily, a more powerful pull then my desire to return to her or to even remain at her side. It did not ease the pang of loss left behind in the space that held my frozen, motionless heart, but it did make it that much more bearable. If I couldn't be with her, I could at least surround myself with what was so clearly hers.
My nightly explorations had so far had been largely confined to Bella's bedroom with one short foray into the hallway beside it and the linen closet within it, but that could hardly be called an exploration at all and had yielded precious little. There was a risk of course that the rest of the house would tell me nothing more than I already knew and that I would be disappointed by what I found. After all, it had been Charlie's exclusive domain for so long now that it would naturally reflect his own personal style and tastes, but it seemed unlikely that Bella's feminine influence would not have marked it in some small way. Knowing her as I hoped I did, it would be a subtle touch strung here and there that would go unnoticed by those who would not carefully look for it.
Navigating the last turn to the now familiar road their home occupied, the rain that had been not much more than a gentle patter when leaving the school became a deluge of biblical proportions, but this was in my favour, not against; the roar that would be almost earsplitting to a human would help to mask the sound of not only the Volvo stopping, but of the truck starting. Not many would even venture to look outside their warm, cozy homes to see the supposed theft of the scrap-metal heap on wheels that Bella seemed so affectionate of.
Parking against the curb, I searched the neighborhood for good measure, remembering at least that I had a shred of responsible behavior to still maintain and was instantly reassured from the notable silence that the plan hastily made up was coming together in my favour. Feeling my mood lift slightly at the thought that perhaps not everything I wanted would be an uphill battle to achieve; I felt it almost instantly sour as the all but mute sibling beside me finally decided to voice herself.
"You should be thankful for my lack of communication, Edward – it isn't going to last."
Still staring straight ahead and refusing to look at me, the biting retort from Alice set my teeth on edge again, not because it merely added to my frustration, but because it gave me precious little to work with. Deciding against pushing her at the moment, as it would begin a conversation that would probably end in an argument that would alert the neighborhood to my presence, I instead opened the door with barely restrained force and growled impolitely at her over my shoulder as the heavy drops pinged metallically against the inner door-frame.
"Go back to school. I'll meet you in the lot in a few minutes."
Shutting the door without looking back, I sprinted up the short concrete walkway and was under the front porch a second later, barely damp despite the torrential downpour. My back still turned, I heard the quiet purr of the Volvo pull away as Alice left, thankful as she said I should be, that she hadn't squealed off in a huff. Her parting words did nothing to sooth my anxiety…it was a warning, plain and simple, but I would deal with both it and her later. I needed to focus on why I was here now and how best to achieve my objective of finding that key. Alice had told me already of course, but I balked at the idea of simply following her advice.
Reaching up to the eave closest to the door, I felt around until I found the spare key and wondered again at Charlie Swan's small-town mentality. He obviously trusted that none who resided within his tiny community would commit a crime of breaking-and-entering the Chief of Police's home, but to hide it in such an obvious place was just plain stupid. Didn't he stop to consider for a minute, the safety of the daughter who now lived under the same roof? He was trained to operate a fire-arm…to confront those who would cause him harm or who had dubious intentions; Bella was not. If I had managed to see her retrieve and replace it from the deep shadows of the woods that surrounded their home, how many others would have been able to do so from the relative ease of the street?
Shaking my head in annoyance at his lack of awareness even as I realised it was possibly unreasonable of me to do so; he had no clue as to what lurked so sinisterly in the shadows, I quickly opened the door and slipped inside, quietly shutting it behind me as I now found myself in a part of the house I had yet to see.
The narrow hallway in which I now stood lead into a front space obviously used as the TV room, it's only occupants that of a sofa and a single arm-chair from what I could see; neither were new, but they looked clean. The staircase leading to the second level of the house made the open-plan effect feel cramped and almost claustrophobic as it dissected the interior of a home that looked as though it had last been painted when it had been built. A coat-rack with mismatched pegs hung to the left with a small, chipped, end-table beneath it. A lone pen missing its lid, a few scraps of paper and a basket for keys were its only adornments, but to my mild amusement, the basket was empty; humans never stuck to their own systems of organization. It would also explain Bella's disbelieving reaction in the cafeteria to my smug assurance that I would find her key easily. It wasn't in the obvious place.
Cautiously taking a tentative step forward over the shabby, but not unclean carpet lining the passageway, I easily caught Bella's scent from her bedroom above as the sultry air wafted downwards, mingling with Charlie's and the aroma of the house, but it was also strong in the kitchen leading off the hallway. Knowing already from Alice that this was the direction in which I should take, I ventured into it and immediately stopped as I was bombarded by the grisly memory of the vision Alice had first shown to me…the vision of an unrelenting predator stalking an unsuspecting girl as she stood innocently in the very room I now found myself.
It looked exactly as the hallucination had imagined: walls lined with panels of dark wood, garishly bright yellow cabinets and chipped, faded white linoleum flooring. A single table of old scuffed oak sat conspicuously in the middle with three chairs pushed haphazardly in…none of them matched. Closing my eyes, though it made no difference to the recollection that continued to assault me, I harshly reminded myself that it had been the earliest expectations of myself and that it no longer was, so therefore, it no longer applied, stroking fingers that trembled slightly from the recollection over the cap safely held in my pocket as a way of grounding myself to the here and now. Walking swiftly through the kitchen and past the haunting feeling of what could have been a day that would signaled my end, I followed my nose to the small laundry off the kitchen, keeping a watchful eye through the lace-lined windows for any curious onlookers, but the rain was still a steady, pounding downpour.
Bella's scent here was clearly present even as it mingled with detergents and the slight cling of mould from the walls that in this climate never fully dried, but there was another scent that shouldn't have been there…one that I was looking for. Feeling a smile of satisfaction subtly alter the planes of my face as I quite literally smelt an easy victory, I found a laundry basket in the corner piled high with clothing ready for the wash. Crouching beside it, I started to reach for the mound, determined to find the key I wanted, but I clenched my fingers into fists before I could as they hovered over the basket, silently berating myself. It was one thing to be a stalker and voyeur – even though my intentions for both had been for Bella's safety, but quite another to be a degenerate.
It knew that it was a slightly harsh description of myself and my actions so far, but as I had already broken so many of the rules society still deemed as enforceable, it seemed appropriate at the moment. For all that the clothing in here could be Charlie's, I also knew it could be Bella's; the level of intimacy involved in handling the underwear of the girl I loved was not something I was ready for. I supposed I could simply overturn the hamper in the hopes that I would find what I was searching for, but it seemed disrespectful to go throwing others clothing around.
Turning the basket around, I saw what I thought had been the jeans she had worn the last time she had driven her own vehicle in the middle layer. Sniffing cautiously, I scented the key again and pinpointed its location to where I thought it would be. Eyeing the basket warily, as if it was some danger I had yet to fathom my way safely around, I signed in disgust at myself…Oh, for pity's sake, Edward, it's only clothing. Pull yourself together…before plunging a hand in to grab them.
Plucking them out quickly, I turned them over in my hands as I targeted the pockets, but I stopped again, this time not breathing or moving as I saw what had hooked onto a belt loop at the waistband. Hanging by the tiny metallic clip, was a scrap of pale blue lace that was not unfamiliar to me – living in a household with three other woman had long ago exposed me to the sort, but this was vastly different and triggered a vastly different response.
Sinking unsteadily to one knee, whilst I held up the jeans, eying them even more cagily now than I had before, I swallowed convulsively against a throat that was dry when I knew it wasn't possible, unable to tear my gaze from the lacy garment or to tear myself loose from the seductive imagery that accompanied it…pale curves encased in silk and lace, fragile strapping over bones almost as fragile…easing that strapping down…down…down until it revealed the…
"Enough, Edward. Get the key, put it back and get out." I griped at myself harshly, appalled by my invasion of Bella's privacy as I forestalled the imagery that would get me into more trouble than I could get myself out of. Sitting with her in a rocking chair at the far end of her room at night was one thing, this was another; I was behaving no better than Newton would have, had he been in my situation. Finding the key whilst avoiding touching anything else, I pocketed it, placed the jeans in the same position that I had found them in and rearranged the load so that neither father nor daughter would become suspicious.
Walking swiftly through the kitchen, I headed for the front door, but the gleam of dull light glinting reflectively from small panes of glass in the family room adjoining the kitchen caught and held my attention. Locking my feet in place for a moment, I weighed the pros and cons of venturing further into the inner sanctum of the Swan home, knowing the danger and also knowing that Alice was waiting for me, but my insatiable curiosity eventually won out and I decided that the risk was worth the consequences I would face. I hadn't really learnt anything more about Bella from what I had seen; only that she spent time in these two rooms, but that was natural for her. I needed to learn more.
Despite the danger of being caught, I found myself slowly approaching the tiny, brickwork fireplace and the images that had caught my attention. A series of photos lined the mantle over the hearth; most of them capturing Bella during various stages of her early childhood through her adolescent years up until one that looked as though it was a year of so old. There was a youthful touch to the curves of her face and the set of her smile, but it had clearly disappeared by the time she had arrived in Forks. Her resolve to move away from the sunnier climates she loved and her mother in order to maroon herself to her father's misty little town had clearly cost her more than she would ever admit too. The thought was sobering and unwelcome.
At the end of the mantel sat two other portrayals of the Swan's earlier family life; one was of a very young Charlie and a woman that I did not recognize…Renée I would imagine, judging from the background of a brightly lit chapel that looked as though it was straight out of a tacky Las Vegas wedding. The pair seemed so happy in that movement; the occasion captured for eternity on a small strip of Polaroid, so what had gone wrong? What had happened less than two years later to the vows they had made to each other?
My notions on marriage, had never been anything more than academic; Carlisle and Esme's marriage, as well as those of my adoptive siblings had certainly leant a certain perspective to the concept of wedded bliss, but it had never appealed to me before. I had never imagined that I would meet anyone that it would apply to – not until Bella, but even now, with the thought a dangerously evocative one, I knew that it was nothing more than a foolish whim; a pipe dream I could never indulge in and to so instantly dismiss it made me miserable in ways I had never expected.
Studying the framed evidence of her parent's short-lived marriage more closely, I shook my head as I took in the sparkling blue eyes and lively, mischievous countenance of Renée, marveling again at the self-effacing nature of her daughter. Recalling Bella's brief description of her mother on the first day I had driven her home, she had specifically claimed that she had too much Charlie in her and that her mother was prettier…all of this was true, Renee had obviously been a very attractive woman in her youth, but how could Bella think that she was any less appealing? Any less perfect than that of the woman who had borne her? She was exquisitely incomparable.
"What a little liar you are, Isabella," I muttered quietly to myself, still finding it hard to comprehend that Bella could never see beyond what I – and others – so clearly could.
Looking past it, I found the one that had first caught my attention whilst walking past…and the one that captivated me even now: Bella as a newborn. A beaming Renée cradled a swaddled Bella lovingly in her arms as Charlie crouched low beside them, smiling so broadly it looked as though his skin would split apart at the seams as he kept them both in his arms. Picking it up with revering fingers; as gently cradling as Renee's had been when holding her newborn daughter, I felt a similar ear-splitting grin to that of Charlie's transform my own features. It was a heady experience, holding in my hands the proof of the birth of Isabella Swan and knowing that now it would be a day that I too would celebrate.
Returning it to its rightful place as I committed it to my inescapable memory, I glanced over at the others, but they held no significance for me. A few where of an adolescent Charlie and what I assumed where his parents, another was of a sizable Bass he held up beside a scale and the last on the row was of him in a boat beside who I now knew was Billy Black. I felt the fury at his earlier interference still linger dangerously closely to the surface as I scowled blackly at him, but willed it into submission; I had bigger problems to deal with than the interference of this old man.
Noting the rest of the room with its faded colour scheme and ash-stained brickwork, I nodded to myself with satisfaction, but decided against venturing to the second level; Alice was no more patient than I was and would eventually come looking for me. Passing the end-table as I made my way out, I paused at the pen and paper lying haphazardly on it, striking upon an idea I had toyed with for a while. If she would not listen to my verbal warnings to remain safe, then perhaps if it was written it would somehow get through to her on an unconscious level.
Twirling the pen between my nimble fingers, I thought of what to write; I would leave it on the seat of her truck so that it was the first thing she came into contact with, but I still had no idea of the connotations I wanted to leave as written word. It would have to be something simple, to the point, but still personal. Nothing that would offend her or give away just how obsessed I was with her…perhaps it should simply be a reminder of her earlier promise to keep out of trouble.
Pressing the nib to the scrap lightly, I swiftly scrawled: Be Safe.
Hoping that it would be enough and yet afraid it never would be, I re-read it a dozen times and argued with myself a dozen more before becoming exasperated. "Its fine as it is, Edward. Nothing inappropriate or revealing; just a reminder…now leave."
Locking the front door behind me, I replaced the key to its more than obvious resting place, checked once more that there were no prying eyes to spy on me and ran to the truck through the downpour, unlocking and sliding into the large cab of the truck in the next second as I closed the door behind me as quietly as possible…but my relief at the easy access was short lived as I reeled back against the seat as the potency of Bella's scent bombarded me from every direction with overwhelming force. Groaning in pain as my nasal passage caught fire, I momentarily lost the ability to breathe normally as the fiery talons of thirst bit and gnawed at my throat and the passageway that had suddenly been so dry before became drenched in venom.
Sagging slightly against the cracked, faded leather of the seat, I closed my eyes; almost dizzy as I latched onto the hardened plastic of the steering wheel, gripping it too tightly, but unlike the softer material of the Volvo's wheel, it merely crackled slightly beneath the punishment of my fingers and did not leave indentations. Every surface in this vehicle retained Bella's aroma: the leather of the seat, the carpet underfoot, even the plastic of the dashboard was coated with what was both Heaven and Hell to my hyper-sensitive nose.
The writhing, clawing manifestation of the thirst within me howled at the undiluted flavour, but I held him at bay…barely. With the torrent of rain, I could not open a window without the seat becoming soaked and so I would have to deal with the double torment as best I could. Turning the key in the ignition, I sighed in relief as it turned over immediately, then groaned loudly as the thunderous roar of the iron beast rent through the wet air. Thankfully there were no signs of twitching curtains or cracked doors – no one would believe that anyone would steal this thing.
Shifting into gear, I winced as the transmission ground noisily and pulled away from the curb, heading back towards the school. I supposed that I could understand the appeal of the vehicle; it was a classic and made its presence known, but honestly the noise was so off-putting, it almost entirely diluted its charm...it was awful. How did Bella manage to sit in this thing day in and day out? I would rather walk to and from school. If my Volvo was a greyhound; sleek, quiet and fast, then this thing was a bulldog; belligerent, gruff and ponderous.
Turning into the driveway of the lot, Alice and the Volvo were parked beside the curb; she followed me in, idling behind me as I pulled into the spot that my car had previously occupied. Almost kicking open the door as I gasped at the fresh, untainted air; I slide out gratefully, ignoring the rain as I left the key in the ignition and placed my note carefully on the drivers set.
Shutting the door behind me, I walked swiftly around the bulbous cab and climbed into the Volvo; Alice was already in the passenger seat. Took you long enough, she grumbled at me. Sighing as I realised this was merely the beginning, I pulled off, making a tight circle in the lot and roared out of the lot and back onto the streets, declining to answer. Heading home to drop off the car, the mental block that Alice had employed to keep me out was no longer in place…and I almost wished it was. She had clearly been keeping an eye on me as I had meandered around the Swan's home and was disgruntled by what she had witnessed and what she could not yet understand by my actions.
"Are you upset with me, Alice, because I won't allow you into Bella's life or are you upset with yourself, because you no longer know what that life will be?" Posing the question as I navigated the last bend of our driveway, I grinned as I heard her grinding her teeth together, enjoying her discomfort a bit more than I really should have.
"You think that it's too your advantage that I can't, Edward? It isn't!" she snapped grumpily, crossing her arms and staring off out the passenger window as our home came into view. "And would it kill you to thank me for pointing out where the key was?"
Maintaining my smirk, I remained silent as I drove past the house and towards the garages, content to let her stew for a while. I had a feeling the next few hours were going to be uncomfortable – all as a result of what she would eventually tell me, so it only seemed fair. Finding the garage empty with the exception of Emmett's mud-splattered jeep; Carlisle I knew would be at the hospital pulling yet another double shift and Esme was more than likely in town, keeping up appearances as she grocery-shopped for the family that would never touch any of the food she purchased. Parking, we climbed out simultaneously and moved silently into the house. Hanging the Volvo's key on the rack designed for it and grinning broadly as I imagined Bella's surprise at finding the key to her truck in its ignition, Alice and I separated to our rooms; her to change as she refused to hunt in the clothing she currently wore and me to drop off a prize I couldn't bear to lose during the hunt.
My mood was significantly lighter as I entered my room, still listening to Alice as she complained silently to herself about ungrateful brothers. Walking over to the stereo, I fished out the cap and placed it carefully on the glass lid, briefly caressing it as I thought about Bella. What was she doing right now? The movie would have concluded and by now the lights would be on; Banner would once again begin his relentless monotony of genetics and the previous euphoria that had been felt by the students would quickly disappear.
Would she be thankful for the reprieve I had granted her, or would she long for more, as I did? I knew the answer to that already; her forlorn expression as I had walked away from her had told me all that I needed to know…and more than I should have ever hoped for.
Stroking the unblemished lid once more; imagining it was Bella's soft cheek for just a second and almost feeling the heat of her blood rush and transfuse through my cold fingertips, I turned to leave my room before I changed my mind and returned to the school. With Alice on my heels, we left the house and civilization behind; heading north into the wilds to find the answer to questions I should never have dared to ask in the first place and to slake a thirst that could never be quenched…
