"Why won't you speak to me, Ichigo?"
The 21-year-old turned away from his father.
Isshin sat on the sofa with the two girls while Ichigo was laying across the chair.
"Son, please tell me what's wrong," Isshin continued. "You're worrying your sisters. Rukia had to call for me to come get you because you wouldn't even talk to her. So please, son, speak to me."
"You wouldn't understand," Ichigo muttered, still refusing to meet Isshin's eyes.
Karin scowled and shot to her feet. She marched past Ichigo and disappeared into the kitchen. She grabbed the cat food and fed Tensa – the poor boy had been whining for the past half hour. Isshin sighed and slowly stood up. He followed Karin into the kitchen.
The moment Rukia had called, Isshin knew it was serious. He'd given her his personal number after Ichigo's relationship with Grimmjow had ended. He told Rukia, jokingly, that she could call anytime but should call if there were any emergencies. She was his other daughter, after all, and papa-Isshin would be there in a heartbeat to protect her! The real reason Isshin remained in contact with her was that she was the only person Isshin knew who lived near Ichigo.
When Isshin got a call from Rukia late Tuesday evening, he knew it was serious. He drove early Wednesday morning to Ichigo's house and dragged the protesting orangette (and Tensa) into the car. This brought them to now, Thursday afternoon.
"What's the matter, Ichi-nii?" Yuzu asked, her voice almost too soft to break the silence.
Ichigo felt another burst of coldness ghost across his limbs. Death was coming just as had been promised to him a week ago by the man he'd learnt to love.
Yuzu stomped her foot. "Ichi-nii, speak to me!"
Ichigo turned wide, brown eyes to his sister. "Yuzu… I… I can't explain it, even If I wanted to."
How could he explain what had happened? It was almost too fast for him to tell.
Shiro appeared when summoned, but he wasn't the same. Shiro had appeared in his true form – one which Ichigo once thought beautiful but now haunted him. He grabbed Ichigo and plucked him from Rukia and Renji's apartment. Ichigo was in a mess of feathers until he was dropped on the cold, forest ground.
One Week Prior…
"Shiro!? What are you doing!?"
The God of Shadows panted. "Trying to save ya, Ichi. Before… Before – GAH!" Shiro clutched his head, another inhuman scream escaping his lungs.
"Shiro!?" Ichigo ran for him. "What's wrong?"
"Get the fuck away from me!" Shiro growled. He swatted at Ichigo, the force rippling through the air and sending Ichigo back a few meters.
Ichigo trembled from the shockwave. "Shiro… what's wrong?"
Then, Ichigo saw Shiro grin. He felt the other's laughter right to his bones.
"Shiro?"
"You're such an idiot, Ichigo. You actually care about me?"
Ichigo felt his stomach flip. He convinced himself he was hearing things. This wasn't happening… "What are you talking about?"
What Ichigo didn't see were the tears Shiro wiped away. "Ichigo…" Shiro spread his wings, once again disturbing the stillness of the trees. He waited for the ripple across the leaves to stop before he spoke again. "You're a fool. Don't you know that I was only created to use you?"
Anger gripped Ichigo first. "You're lying to me!" Then sorrow. Sorrow hurt the most. He wanted to throw up, rip his hair out and cry all at once.
"I ain't lying," Shiro hummed, grin widening. "Apophis, my master, is the one who took the Hogyoku from you, the day we made our contract. Then we waited for Ra to show himself. That's when Apophis returned my memories to me and I recalled my true purpose."
Ichigo gulped. He couldn't stop his knees or fingers from shaking.
"I was created to string you along from day one. I used your loneliness against you and became someone that you could love. I knew that I had to suck you in – otherwise you'd never make a contract with me and I'd never get your soul. Once the contract was in place, Apophis had everything he needed for his plan to come true."
Ichigo scowled and took a step forward. "Stop lying to me, bastard! Stop this! Shiro! It hurts!"
Shiro chuckled. "Good. Cry about it for all I care." He jumped closer to Ichigo, laughing at Ichigo's shocked face. "Now, Ichigo, I didn't remember this part until last night when my master appeared to me and unlocked my memories. Turns out, several hundred years ago, just before I was locked up in that tomb, Apophis and I constructed a plan. Ra was coming for me. Even though I was already bound to the Hogyoku, it wasn't enough to satisfy him. I was still causing the light trouble, after all."
"I don't want to hear this," Ichigo muttered.
Shiro shoved him.
Ichigo's eyes widened as he fell to the ground. His limbs shook from the force of the blow, wrists aching from catching himself. The rest of his body, which had landed in an awkward position on stones and tree roots, throbbed as well.
"Shut up. Never interrupt me again," Shiro spat.
Tears escaped Ichigo's eyes. For fear of getting hurt again, he kept his sobs silent.
"Now, where was I?" Shiro mused. "Ah, yes. Ra would lock me up and defeat Apophis, without a doubt. And Apophis thought Ra might torture me for information so immediately after we devised our plan, Apophis took my memories of it away." Shiro leaned back against a tree. "The plan itself? We would wait for another pure soul, then lure him to the temple. Only a pure soul would be able to find me, as you may recall, that's one of the rules of the Hogyoku. Anyway! Apophis posed as an Egyptian anthropologist and sent the invite to investigate the tomb to Kisuke – the closest thing to a pure soul Apophis could find. Because I didn't have my memories, I didn't really know why I was supposed to make a deal with Kisuke. As a result, I protected him, became friends with him, even. Apophis couldn't find us. I didn't manage to make a deal with Kisuke either. Then he hid the Hogyoku... until you found it. The rest is as you know it."
Ichigo felt the silence drag on. He pushed himself up to his knees. "So, why did you need a pure soul?"
Shiro raised a pale brow. "Why did I? I thought that was obvious."
"Humour me."
Shiro snorted and pushed himself off the tree. "A pure soul fuels my power. You made a contract with me and learnt that. Then there's the bit left behind in Kisuke's journal, that page you found wrapped around the Hogyoku? It explained that whoever kills you can make a contract with me, then kill me and take all my power. What do you think Apophis is going to do? Keep me alive?"
Ichigo hiccupped. "You're really going to throw your life away for someone like that!?"
Shiro shrugged. "Apophis created me. Why wouldn't I?" He then lunged at Ichigo. Shiro wrapped a hand around Ichigo's throat and pinned him against a tree. "You're going to die in exactly 9 days. You can't survive without your soul or without me near you. Enjoy the time you have left with your family." Shiro pet Ichigo's cheek before vanishing.
Ichigo blinked, and when he opened his eyes, he was suddenly home. Hours had passed. He felt his phone buzzing. When he checked, it was Rukia.
Nine days, Ichigo thought, that means there's two left. Two days until I die.
"Ichi-nii?" Yuzu murmured. "You stopped talking… after you said Shiro broke your heart. Who is Shiro?"
Ichigo blinked. "No one," he replied, feeling his body grow numb again. "He's no one, Yuzu."
She huffed and was about to yell when a woman placed her hand on Yuzu's shoulder. "Go into the kitchen and help Karin and Dad with dinner, alright Yuzu?"
She pouted. "Okay, Mum…"
Ichigo watched Yuzu go before he felt his mother wiggle into a spot beside him. Ichigo felt warm again as she took his hand. "Ichigo, honey, who is Shiro?"
His lip trembled. "A man I met. He was kind, gentle… I thought he might be the one, Mom."
She smiled and brushed away the tear rolling down Ichigo's cheek. "It's alright, honey. These things can hurt for a long time and you can stay here for as long as you need to."
Ichigo sighed. "If it's all the same, I need to go back tomorrow. I need to work."
"When is your next shift?"
"Saturday afternoon."
Masaki nodded. "Then I will drive you home tomorrow evening. No exceptions."
Ichigo huffed, pink lips forming a pout. Then he began to chuckle as Masaki leaned in to hug him. He sat up to meet her. Her arms were comforting, relieving the aches and pains Ichigo had been feeling. It didn't necessarily heal the pain in his chest, but her hug dulled it.
"There's his smile," Isshin teased.
Ichigo felt his cheeks grow warm and he stepped out of Masaki's hold, standing tall. "Dad? Can I help with dinner?"
Karin chuckled and rolled her eyes while Yuzu giggled.
Ichigo woke the next day feeling refreshed. He showered and changed into new clothes. As he made his way downstairs, Yuzu ran up to him. "Ichi-nii, will you go with us to the fair!?"
Ichigo blinked. "Yuzu, you're 17, can't you go to the fair yourself?"
Karin lightly punched Ichigo's arm. "She could, but she wants you to go with her. What kind of a rude response was that, Ichigo?"
"Rude?" Ichigo questioned. "Who was it that punched me?"
Yuzu frowned and looked up at the ceiling. "Well, Ichi-nii doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to."
"No, it's fine, I'd love to go," Ichigo huffed. The doorbell rang.
Masaki smiled as she moved to get it. "I invited a friend, Ichigo. I hope you don't mind!"
Ichigo blinked. "Wait! You weren't going to let me say no in the first place, were you!?"
Masaki chuckled as she opened the door. "Ah, Orihime, right on time!"
Ichigo froze. Orihime? He hadn't seen her in… possibly forever. He felt a little nervous. Would she be mad at him for never calling? He did like her Facebook posts and talked with her in the comments, so it's not like they never talked, but did that count?
And then he saw her smile and felt the familiar gaze of his best friend, and everything seemed fine.
"Nice to see you again, Ichigo. You've gotten taller, but thinner. Have you been eating?"
Ichigo felt himself smiling. "No, I, uh… I started eating less when I stopped working out every day, I guess. Just been taking things slow. How are you, Orihime?"
She tilted her head slightly to the left, the way she always did when she wanted to brush things off. "Oh, I'm good. Nothing too new."
Ichigo chuckled as Masaki handed him his coat. He slid his arms through the sleeves then raised a brow at Orihime. "Nothing?"
"Well, I started working at a bakery."
"You? At a bakery?"
"Hey! I went through cooking classes and mastered baking. I don't make things like spinach and caramel soup anymore."
Ichigo smiled and did up his jacket. "Are you sure?"
"Here!" She shoved a bag at him. "Try one of these if you don't believe me!"
Ichigo grinned and reached inside. There were small boxes, each packed with four baked goods. The box Ichigo opened had scones. He selected a blueberry one and took a bite.
"Well?" Orihime pressed.
Ichigo gulped down the bite. "It's really good." He returned the box to the bag and continued to devour the scone.
"I told you!" Orihime smiled and kicked off her boots before she moved into the kitchen. Isshin took the bag and gave her a 'loving father hug'. Isshin released her and disappeared around the counter, Karin close behind.
"Don't eat all of them!" Masaki shouted.
Orihime rubbed her sides as she returned to Ichigo. "Well, nice to know things haven't changed."
Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess."
Masaki sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, shall we go then?"
Yuzu nodded and ran out the door. Orihime followed. Ichigo glanced back at his mom. Her smile softened as if to reassure Ichigo.
Masaki turned towards the kitchen. "Isshin, Karin! If I come in there and you're stuffing your faces, you're both grounded!"
Ichigo chuckled at the thought of his father being grounded.
It was ninth grade. Ichigo had been avoiding Orihime all day.
How am I going to break up with the most popular girl in my grade?
He cringed at the imaginary voices in his head. All the students in his class teasing him. All the boys asking what was wrong with him, and all the girls scolding him for breaking Orihime's heart.
Then, Ichigo spotted her. She was just about to enter the classroom when Ichigo called, "Orihime!"
Orihime turned to him and smiled. She murmured something to Tatsuki and the other girl nodded and continued into class without her. Orihime approached Ichigo. "Hiya, Kurosaki-kun… good morning."
"Good morning, Inoue…" Ichigo turned towards the stairs. "Can we talk? In private?"
Orihime's smiled faded. "Yeah, of course." She could already tell where this was going. She followed Ichigo through the doors, to the left of the stairs, and then under them. Students were usually at their lockers or heading to class at this time, so the buzzing from their conversation kept anyone from overhearing Ichigo and Orihime's. Plus, hiding under the stairs gave them some bonus privacy.
They stood there for a moment in silence before Ichigo opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Orihime spoke, "Ichigo, I have to ask you something."
Ichigo froze. "Yeah?"
Orihime glanced to her right, through the windows on the doors which lead outside. She leaned a little closer to Ichigo before asking, "Ichigo, are you gay?"
Ichigo's heart skipped a beat. "What? No!" He scoffed, but it didn't have any weight to it. He took a step away from her.
"Ichigo, it's fine if you are," Orihime insisted. "You just… you never look me in the eye since we started dating. If we can even call this 'dating'... You're awkward and distant. Gay or not, I liked us better as friends."
Ichigo released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "You did? Really?"
Orihime nodded. "You've been on edge. You look shaky and pale, and sick whenever we're together. Plus, you and I both know the only reason we're going out is that everyone found out that I had a crush on you, then pressured you into asking me."
Ichigo pouted. "That's not true."
"Yes, it is," Orihime shrugged. "But that doesn't matter to me. What's more important is that we're friends. I want to be here for you."
"So, are we… breaking up then?" Ichigo carefully asked.
Orihime nodded. "It's for the best. We can still be friends, right?"
"Of course!"
Ichigo stiffened slightly as she hugged him, but in that moment, everything seemed to click. He smiled and hugged her back. The pressure of keeping a perfect relationship melted away. Ichigo was glad to have his best friend back.
They separated and returned to class together. Ichigo waved her off and went to sit with Keigo and Chad on the far side of the room.
Orihime hopped into her seat. She took out her homework from the night before and placed it on the front-right corner of her desk.
Tatsuki glanced at her. "So, what happened?"
"Hmm?" Orihime blinked. "Oh! We broke up."
Tatsuki froze. "You did what!? That bastard. I'm gonna break him!"
Orihime giggled and placed a hand on Tatsuki's shoulder. "It's okay, Tatsuki. I broke up with him."
Tatsuki blinked. "What? But I thought you liked him, Orihime?"
She nodded. "I do, but dating isn't working. I want us to be friends, Tatsuki. I don't want a silly relationship status to come between me and Ichigo."
"Wow~" Tatsuki teased, the side of her lip lifting into a smirk. "You're calling him by his first name now, huh?"
Orihime flinched. "H-Huh!? Well, I mean, yeah! He's always told me to and… and now…"
Tatsuki chuckled and gently punched Orihime's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Orihime. It's fine. You both seem much happier and comfortable this way."
Orihime giggled nervously and rubbed her shoulder.
A few days later, she received a text from Ichigo. 'Orihime, what if I am gay? What do I do? How did you know? Is it obvious?'
She gulped and sat up on her bed. Orihime thought for a moment before she replied, 'It's not an illness, Ichigo. It's okay if you're gay. It's just part of who you are.'
A minute later, Ichigo answered, 'How do I tell my dad? I haven't even told him that we've broken up yet. He was so proud when you and I started dating. I don't know what to tell him.'
'Well, start by telling him that we broke up. Then when he asks why, you tell him it's because you're not interested in me that way. He can put the rest of pieces together on his own.'
'What if he gets mad?'
'When has your dad ever gotten mad at you?'
She noticed Ichigo took longer to reply this time. Orihime smiled. Ichigo knew she was right. Her phone buzzed with Ichigo's response, 'Okay. I'll tell him that we broke up, then… if it feels right, I'll tell him that I'm gay.'
"I am gay…" Ichigo murmured to himself a few minutes later. He started at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Those words had been foreign to him for years, and now they were suddenly so personal. It felt good. He grinned and chuckled to himself. Ichigo immediately ran downstairs. "Dad!"
Isshin turned to Ichigo from the living room. "Ichigo, my boy! What's with the shouting?"
Courage and fear clashed in his chest. Excitement and anxiety. His heart was pounding against his chest. "Dad, Orihime and I broke up."
Isshin's features softened. "You did? Are you okay?"
Ichigo hadn't expected concern. He thought Isshin would scream, question him, demand answers. Instead, Isshin shut off the TV and stood up. He wandered towards Ichigo.
"Son? Are you alright?"
Ichigo slowly nodded. "Yeah, umm… we're both fine. It was mutual, dad, and we decided to still be friends."
Relief washed over Isshin's face. "That's great, Ichigo. That's very mature."
Ichigo chuckled and immediately felt heat rush to his face. "And, umm… well, there's something else."
Isshin nodded and stood tall. Ichigo felt like his dad was staring down at him, even though the look was not of disappointment or anger.
C'mon, Ichigo, you just said it to yourself a minute ago, you can say it again!
Ichigo balled his hands into fists. "We aren't dating anymore, also because, I don't really think I'm into… girls."
I'll go pack my things and live on the street. See ya!
"You're gay," Isshin stated.
Ichigo nodded, suddenly feeling dizzy. "I mean, I think so. I don't know. Orihime thinks so. I know I'm not attracted to girls but I've never really thought about guys or anything like that, so..."
Isshin hugged him. "Don't worry, Ichigo. Whoever you're attracted to, I support you. Your mother and sisters too. We all want you to be happy."
Some more of Ichigo's personal history and a little love for Orihime~ Now I know Ichigo said he's never been with someone before in a previous chapter, but that's because he and Orihime don't consider that time as dating. They decided to move on as friends (and she even helps Ichigo accept himself, how sweet).
Also, I understand that bit with Shiro is probably confusing... Read carefully and it'll make sense. If not, next chapter will have some more explaining. As always, thank you for reading!
