It's been two months I know… Hope people read and review… thank you.
She couldn't sleep. It was one of those nights in which familiar fears and doubts resurfaced from her unconscious. They came without provocation and she was accustomed to over thinking when they did. She felt like screaming her frustrations, instead she resorted to repeating facts in her head.
She was Katniss Everdeen. She was 20 years old. She should have been dead long ago, but she was still breathing. She was alive in a world without Prim. She lived in District 12, in Haymitch's house. She didn't know if she had really forgiven her mother, but she responded to every one of her letters. She enjoyed Greasy Sae's rabbit stew the most from the old woman's limited menu. She occasionally gave Thom the game she scavenged off his own snares. She had to accept Delly's tea invitation eventually. Peeta came back to her against all the odds.
This present wasn't what she had imagined when they dumped her here after the war. It wasn't the isolated and miserable future she had expected to live. It was a better world, but why couldn't her lurking worries stay away. She repeated facts.
It was a better world now. The monsters were just in her head. She could live with that because at least they weren't under her bed anymore... or in the Capitol waiting for her.
She would be okay. She and Peeta would be okay.
She admitted that is where all her troubling thoughts stemmed from. She was afraid to accept the peace she had in her life and her relationship with Peeta. She was afraid because when she let her guard down, life had the habit to send her a death sentence.
Her fears started replaying across her thoughts at that old fact. She kicked her covers off her and contemplated her impulse. She knew it was too soon, but she was never one to follow her rationality when she was in distress.
She got to her feet in the midnight darkness. She felt for her robe and placed it over her full set pajamas. She picked up her slippers, but didn't put them on.
She quietly threaded her way out of her room, then out of the house. Haymitch was awake somewhere in it. The precaution of noise was to avoid him having to awkwardly ask and her having to similarly answer.
She put on her slippers at the backdoor and silently walked the next distance.
She knew his backdoor would be unlocked as it always was. She took off her slippers nearby and crept through his home.
The layout was the same as all the other Victor Village's houses and she had been here enough the past three months to feel her way around his furniture in the dark.
She hesitated to call him a friend because he wasn't just that. They did normal friend things like begin projects together and help each other out with errands. Then they didn't do normal friend things like kiss until they were breathless and talk through their individual or mutual murders. Even if they didn't murder the deceased innocents directly, most the people added to their memory book and counting died for knowing them.
It all sounded grim, but being able to admit it out loud without entirely breaking down was healthy... at least according to Dr. Aurelius.
After she reached the second floor, she went in search of his sleeping whereabouts.
She found him in his bedroom.
From the limited light from the lampposts outside, she could see his sleeping position. He was on his side, facing the window with his back to the bedroom door.
She deliberated her next move. The element of surprise was the not best approach for either of them, more so in the dark.
She advanced toward the bed by where his feet laid under his sheets.
She nudged his blanketed feet with her hand and called his name.
It took a few tries, but finally Peeta jolted up right from his slumber.
He rubbed one of his eyes with the back of his hand and looked at her with the other.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, even though she wasn't.
"Katniss," he said in a tone that made it sound like he wasn't sure he really awake.
"Hey," she moved to sit opposite of him on the bed.
Peeta became more lucid, "What are you doing here?"
Katniss wasn't really going to reveal her anxieties to him, so she simply answered, "I couldn't sleep."
He scoffed, "So you came to bug me?"
She smiled, "Can I stay?"
Peeta raised an eyebrow at her, "And Haymitch?"
Katniss shrugged, "I don't think he will accept an invitation to join us on your bed."
"You're hilarious," Peeta deadpanned.
Katniss gave him a smirk in his direction.
He returned it.
"You can always stay."
Peeta pushed the covers forward and patted the room next to him.
She tossed her robe aside and lied down next to Peeta.
When Peeta fixed himself next to her, he pulled the covers up with him to conceal both of their bodies.
Katniss turned on her side, facing Peeta.
She reached for his hand and interlaced them together.
"Why do you have your prosthetic leg on?"
Peeta shrugged, "I forgot about it. I came home too tired from the bakery."
Peeta had paid a contractor and his employees to rebuild his family's bakery. It was a month away from being completed. It wasn't necessary for Peeta to go, but he still went over every day and helped with the labor.
Katniss sat up and pushed the covers off them. She gazed back at Peeta silently asking for permission. He slightly nodded his head. While he still had his work shirt on, he had removed his jeans leaving his lower half in boxer shorts. Katniss removed his metallic limb and placed it on the floor near his side.
When she repositioned herself back beside him, Peeta pulled her closer to him by the waist.
"Katniss," he whispered with a hint of concern.
She stroked his cheek with her thumb, "Yeah?"
Peeta closed his eyes at her touch.
He took minutes to respond.
"What are we doing? What does this mean?"
Katniss didn't answer right away, she just kept the slow strum of her thumb on his face.
Peeta opened his eyes looking into hers.
"I know you don't want to hear this yet Katniss, but we-"
Her gaze lingered down to his lips and she leaned in to find them with hers. She kissed him softly at first and pulled back slightly to watch him. He smiled and waited. She kissed him again with a more passionate slant.
Katniss needed him to shut up. He was always rushing to label their interactions. She wasn't unsure of her feelings for him, she knew that much.
When they finally pulled away, Katniss searched for his hand.
"It means that we're each other's," she answered to his previous question when she found it.
She looked back to him, "Okay?"
Peeta smiled and accepted her answer, "Okay."
She turned in his arms, with her back to his chest.
Peeta spooned her, not in a sensual way, but in an affectionate serenity.
Katniss's mind as she assumed it would, quieted down when she was in his arms. She could only focus on the warmth of his body and the silent breathing on her neck.
Things were quiet for a while and it was no surprise that their bodies had easily remembered the other's embrace at night.
I forgot how this felt.
"What?"
Had she thought that out loud?
She didn't respond.
Peeta insisted nuzzling her shoulder, "What was that?"
Katniss turned in his arms again, back to facing him.
She sighed, "I said I forgot how this felt."
"What exactly?"
Katniss placed her head on his chest.
"To feel safe… to feel safe in your arms."
Peeta lifted her chin, for her to look back at him.
"When I dreamt of home last year, this is what I rarely let myself visualize. Home isn't just the district or this house, but this moment right here."
Katniss kissed him on instinct.
She turned for the last time back to their spooning position and eventually they both drifted to a peaceful slumber.
