Disclaimer: This gets old. No, I don't own anything ever created in the Marvel® universe. If I did, I'd be making a lotta money and completely botching 40-something years spent on a good relationship.
Author's Note: Many, many thanks to: Sweet-destiny3, demitasse 007, Slickboy444, and Angelfly06. Here it is guys, the last chapter to this story! Thanks to all who have stuck with me through this, given their comments, and reviewed each chapter! I more than appreciate it! And also keep a look out for a Jott one-shot. I'm posting it in a few days and it's called A Distant Smile. I really hope you enjoyed the ride!! Enjoy this chapter!!
------------------------------
On Thin Ice
By: Pinkchick
------------------------------
Chapter 9
Bridging Distances
For two whole days, Jean had put as much distance as possible between herself and the infirmary. It was like she had told Ororo, she just could not bring herself to face Scott yet. The blame and guilt had not disappeared. However, it had been her conversation with Ororo that Jean decided she needed to do something. That, and the fact that Duncan had finally stopped calling after Logan had given him a good phone lashing. It was Monday night and Jean found herself wandering down to the basement floors. She shivered slightly from the cold and hugged her arms to herself, being careful not to damage the project poster she had brought down with her to show Scott.
Before she had decided to visit Scott, Jean had tried rehearsing what she was going to say. It was really odd, to say the least. For as long as Jean had known Scott, it had never been this difficult to talk to him. She did not know what to say or where to start. However, when Jean approached the open doors to the infirmary, she sucked in her breath and pushed any thoughts of doubt from her mind.
Jean walked up to the door and stopped abruptly. She did not need to go very far to see a glimpse of Scott. He was sitting in the bed, one hand over his stomach, the other picking away at the food Ororo must have brought down for him to eat. Scott was staring at the food in disdain, as though eating it would have been the worst thing possible. He also looked completely bored. Jean observed that most of the color had returned to his cheeks and she was convinced that he looked healthy. The only remnant of the accident seemed to be the small bandage on the side of his forehead. Thankfully, Scott had not noticed Jean standing in the doorway. He looked to be too consumed with staring at his food and frowning. Jean almost laughed.
"Y'know, you should try eating that," Jean spoke, entering the bright infirmary cautiously, "it'll boost your energy."
Scott whipped his head around to look at Jean, startled. A look of surprise passed over his face, but was immediately replaced by a withering look. He turned his attention back to his food while the frown returned to his face. Jean sighed, knowing it was going to prove more difficult than she had outlined it in her head. The awkwardness of the situation was why Jean had brought the project with her; after all, there had to be some consolation.
Scott did not reply for a few minutes and Jean began to wonder if it had been a good idea in coming to see him. "I'm not really hungry," Scott replied, after what seemed like forever to Jean. She took this response to be an invitation and shuffled her feet the short distance to Scott's plain white bed. Jean glanced around and noticed that Dr. McCoy was nowhere to be seen. Probably in one of his rooms conducting some sort of test, Jean thought. She slowly inhaled and cringed when the smell of anesthetics invaded her nostrils. It was then that Jean realized she really hated the infirmary. It was never a pleasant trip and she surely did not like being the one stuck there either.
Jean pulled over a chair and brought the poster board into full view. "I, uh, I've been working on the project for the past couple of days," Jean explained rather proudly.
Scott eyed the project carefully and then glanced up at her slowly. An expression she had never seen before passed over Scott's features. She could not quite distinguish what it was, but it made her a bit depressed. "Oh," was all Scott said. He crossed his arms and turned back to look at his food, which was probably growing colder by the minute.
At that point, Jean was really beginning to lose her patience. At least she was in the infirmary. Why couldn't Scott appreciate that? She didn't understand why he had to be so difficult. Her short temper was about to blow its fuse.
"Look, I know you're probably angry with me for not visiting you earlier," Jean blurted, her voice a little louder than she would have liked.
Scott crossed his arms, apparently annoyed at her outburst. "What makes you think I'm angry?"
Jean raised her eyebrows and huffed. "Scott Summers, I have known you for years, so don't think for even a second that I don't know when you're angry!"
If Scott had been about to reply, he did not make a motion to. Instead, he just scowled and remained silent. Jean sighed again. Sometimes her best friend could be the most stubborn person in the whole world. Trying to get Scott to say something at times like these was almost like pulling teeth. Another awkward silence descended upon them. It was really starting to get on Jean's nerves.
"Scott, I—" Jean began, "—I'm sorry, ok. Really sorry for not coming down to see you. I know I should've, but—"
Scott held up a hand before Jean could continue. "You don't have to apologize, Jean," Scott assured her, his voice had a tinge of edge to it. "I get it."
Now, Jean was really confused. What in the world was he talking about?
"You get it?" Jean asked incredulously. "Get what? What are you talking about?"
"Nothing, it's not important," Scott claimed, quickly brushing what he had said earlier aside.
"Well, I think it is," Jean shot back, irritated that the conversation was going absolutely nowhere.
"Just drop it, ok," Scott retorted, loudly and with a hardness in his voice.
Jean did not dare say anything else or she knew they would end up in a huge fight. She did not want to ruin her first visit with Scott and a chance to find out what was really bothering him. There was another silence and it felt like it would last an eternity, it was so unbearable.
After a few moments, Jean could feel the tension in the air. If Scott was unwilling to talk, that was fine with her, but she would be damned if she did not find out what was wrong. She was most irate about the fact that she was his best friend and yet, he would not confide in her. Was it something she had done? Was their friendship shattering?
"You really should start eating before it all gets cold," Jean urged conversationally.
"I told you I'm not hungry," Scott practically gritted.
"Scott, you need to eat something."
"I'll eat when I eat! Besides, why do you care?"
Jean was taken aback by Scott's tone. It was accusing and hurtful. He had never before taken that tone with her in all the years she had known him. His accusation felt to Jean as though someone had punched her in the stomach. She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. After a short moment, Jean finally found the air to breathe.
"What do you mean, why do I care?" Jean asked, the shock still ringing in her voice. She leaned forward and took his hand. She cringed when Scott winced at the contact. Jean did not let go, however. "You're my best friend, Scott. How could I not care?"
Scott did not look at her, instead, stared straight ahead and mumbled, "Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it."
"I'm down here now," Jean assured, giving his hand a squeeze. She felt Scott tense.
"Is it because someone forced you down here?" Scott inquired, raising an eyebrow and giving Jean the once over.
"What?" Jean asked, startled for the second time that day. Scott did not repeat the question. However, he did stare at her pointedly, as though challenging her to say yes.
Jean was tempted to roll her eyes, but held back. "Of course not," she said, making it sound like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her life. "How could you even think such a thing?"
Scott shrugged, returning to the task of picking at his food. "You weren't here," Scott finally whispered.
Jean bit her lip, guilt washing over her again. "I know, and I'm sorry."
"You never visited like everyone else did," Scott continued as though he had not heard her. "Eventually, I just figured that you were off tending to Duncan or something. Y'know, I understand." Scott paused, not looking once at Jean. It seemed like Scott was contemplating what to say next. She did not dare interrupt him. "It just… hurt, that's all. It hurt to realize that Duncan's more important to you than I am. But, I just wanna let you know that I understand." Scott looked down at his bedcovers, never once daring to catch Jean's eyes.
Jean's eyes had begun to water at the end of Scott's ramblings. Suddenly, the conversation in Professor Xavier's study came rushing back to her mind. Jean cursed herself. All this time, she had not known what had been bothering Scott. Now, she finally found out that all the confusion had been because of her own negligence. Jean wanted to sink down into her chair and disappear. Scott must think she was a horrible friend.
Suddenly, and without thought, Jean burst into tears. She threw herself at Scott and began crying into his shoulder. "Oh, Scott, you almost died," Jean cried. "One minute you're there and the next, you aren't. I panicked. There'd been so much I wanted to say, so much and then…. I just couldn't bring myself to come here because it was all my fault. All my fault…." Jean paused and sucked in a breath. "You almost died because of me and I don't know how I could've lived with myself if…. I'm just sorry. So sorry."
Jean did not know when Scott had embraced her, but she just kept muttering, "I'm sorry," into his shoulder.
"God, Jean, please don't cry," Scott pleaded gently. He stroked Jean's thick hair slowly and softly. Although Jean was still crying into her best friend's shoulders, she felt comforted by Scott's presence. She did not let any of her previous guilty feelings wash over her. Instead, she lavished in the shelter of Scott's arms and his mutterings of "It's alright."
After a few minutes, Jean's sobbing died down to sniffling. When she was sure she was not going to break down all over again, she let go of Scott and drew back to look at his face. He was looking at her with a mixture of relief and concern. Jean almost laughed. She could not believe Scott was concerned for her, when she should be the one concerned for him.
"You ok?" Scott asked softly.
"Yeah," Jean replied thickly, wiping what was left of her tears away. "Though I think I should be asking you that question."
"I'm fine," Scott said, shrugging. "Just…. I'm fine."
Jean nodded mutely. After a moment, Jean said, "You really did scare me… um, us, I mean." She pushed two strands of hair behind her ear. "We thought we'd lost you and…."
"Well, I'm here now," Scott said simply.
Jean did not answer and they lapsed back into silence. This time, however, it was a comfortable one. Jean was watching the light from the next room, where she found Dr. McCoy was tinkering with something inside the small lab.
Finally, Scott broke the silence, bringing Jean's mind back to him. "You really thought it was your fault?" Scott asked slowly, as though what she had said was finally dawning on him.
"Yeah," Jean stated solemnly, looking away, not bearing to look Scott in the eye (or, rather, his glasses). "Still do."
Scott scoffed. Jean could have sworn that if she could see Scott's eyes, he would be rolling them at her. "Jean, I'm sure you've heard this, but it wasn't your fault." Jean opened her mouth to say something, but Scott put a finger to her lips. "It – wasn't – your – fault. Either way, it would've eventually happened. It was thin ice, Jean. I'm just glad it was me and not someone else."
"Scott, don't say things like that," Jean urged pleadingly. "It shouldn't have been anyone."
"Yeah, well." Scott shrugged again. "I'm sure Duncan won't be gloating for awhile. No offense, but I still ha—don't like him."
"None taken," Jean inserted. Scott looked at her in surprise. Jean smiled broadly. She would stop defending Duncan if it was the last thing she did. After all, he was no longer her boyfriend. She did not see the need to defend him anymore. Jean had finally washed her hands of one Duncan Matthews. Jean bit her lip and thought about whether she should tell Scott or not. After a few moments of contemplating, she decided to tell him. A good relationship was an honest one after all. "And don't worry about Duncan."
Jean smiled slyly and began regaling Scott with the tale about what happened the previous day.
Scott smiled genuinely. He looked like somebody had told him the greatest news in the world. "You're kidding?" Jean shook her head. "You did that in front of all those people and then dumped him right there?"
"Yeah," Jean said, feeling shy all of a sudden. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I guess I let my temper get the best of me."
Scott frowned, his voice sounding far away. "So, you regret breaking it off with Duncan?"
Jean stared at him. "Nah, not really. The more I was with him, the worse he got."
Scott threw his head back and laughed. Jean laughed along with him. It was a relief, really. She had not laughed in what felt like ages. She took his hand and squeezed it. To Jean's satisfaction, Scott squeezed back. Jean felt at ease. The awkward tension between them was finally gone and Jean realized how much she had missed that ease.
However, there was still one last thing nagging Jean. Scott still thought she had cared more for Duncan than she did for him.
"And for the record," Jean began, "I could never have cared more for Duncan than I do for you, Scott."
Once again, Scott looked at her, surprise etching the features Jean could see. Apparently, he had been questioning his role in her life lately.
"I guess I had been hanging out with Duncan a lot," Jean admitted guiltily. "But, now that's over. And it never meant that I cared about you any less. I just got kinda… sidetracked. You're my best friend, Slim. I don't wanna lose that for anything." She paused and stared hard at Scott. "We are still friends, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Scott reassured her. "Friends," he repeated.
There was a sound of regret in his voice when saying the word 'friends'. Jean was about to say something about it when Scott continued. "You really meant that, Jean?"
"'Course I did." Jean smiled.
Out of nowhere, Jean's cell phone rang, interrupting the calm infirmary. She grabbed it quickly, looked at it, and muttered an "Oh, great," before rolling her eyes. Duncan could not call the house for fear of Logan, but he thought calling her cell would suffice.
"What? Who is it?" Scott inquired, sounding curious.
"Just D—no one important." Jean tucked her cell phone back into her pocket. "So, what're you doing tomorrow, Slim?" Jean asked teasingly.
Scott groaned, seeming to remember where he was. "Unfortunately, Red, I'm stuck down here." Jean frowned. "But, on Wednesday I've got nothing planned. How 'bout we finish that project?"
Jean smiled. "Great, it's a date." She immediately realized what she had just said and just as quickly, Scott did too. They both looked away and blushed profusely. Jean regained her composure first while Scott cleared his throat.
"Not a… um, oh God, you know what I mean," Jean said hopelessly, covering her face.
Scott just laughed, sighing. "Yeah, I, uh, know what you mean."
Jean then got up to leave, straightening her clothes and pulling her hair back from her face.
"Leaving?" Scott asked, disappointment creeping into his voice.
"Nah," Jean replied, waving her hand nonchalantly. "Just gonna get some dinner." Before leaving, she pointed a threatening finger at Scott. "And you, Scott Summers, better have at least tasted your food."
Scott held up his hands and hid a smile. "I'll try, but I'm not promising anything."
"Fair enough." Jean laughed. "Be back in ten."
"I'll be waiting."
They smiled at each other. Jean turned around and began walking out of the infirmary. She was in a happier mood than she had been in a long time. Finally, it seemed things were looking up between she and Scott. It was good to have him back. Jean stepped into the elevator leading up to the main floors, still smiling. Storm's advice had been good after all. Jean would have to remember to thank her later. Maybe, just maybe, their would be hope for Jean's and Scott's relationship to grow. For the moment, however, Jean would just enjoy her time with her brown-haired best friend.
The End.
