CHAPTER 9
"The murder was just the beginning of our problems." Hao started again, the distant sad look back in his eyes "What happened afterwards… That was when the real problem began."
"What happened?" Anna looked at him, now calm, trying to rid her mind of all thoughts. She couldn't think about what she just heard; the story about how the Asakura Twins both witnesses the murder of their parents and how one of them almost died himself. She wanted to wait to hear this part out before actually thinking about it. She didn't want to worry Yoh right now, it would be best that the day his brother came back was a happy one, instead of one with Anna looking at him with pity and finally understanding what was wrong. Knowing Yoh, he would be embarrassed and wouldn't like the idea one bit.
"Well… At first Yoh had to get better. He was affected by what happened, but he was…" he sighed, frustrated "Not normal, no one can be normal at a situation like that! But I remember the two of us at the hospital, him lying on that hospital bed, smiling sadly at me, trying to convince me that he was ok. He could… He could still speak!"
Wait, speak? She knew that Yoh was quite shy and Hao usually did the talking but... Was that really connected to the murder? The reason why Yoh had a hard time talking to others, even to his own brother? The reason why Hao was always the one answering the questions at school and ordering the food and…
"Speak?" Anna asked in disbelief "Of course he could speak! He still can!"
"Yes, but…"
"Then what did you mean by 'he could still speak'?!"
"I meant…"
"Explain it!"
"If you just shut up, I will!" he was almost yelling now, obviously impatient. Which just showed how uncomfortable he was with talking about that. Anna knew Hao was a selfish person, and he sometimes liked teasing people and raised his voice a bit, but losing his patience… Apparently he would only lose it if it was something about Yoh; something about their secret.
And that was the only reason why she didn't punch him again, because she knew it was something very personal. That and because if she broke his teeth they would have to go to a hospital or dentist and she wouldn't be able to hear the rest of the story.
"Yoh was still Yoh back them. Sure, he cried and he was hurt. He was scarred and had nightmares about what happened. Even I still have nightmares where I'm back at that tiny closet, hearing my parent's scream and then seeing Yoh, all bloody and having a hard time breathing." Hao shook his head "It's normal for us to have nightmares about it."
So that was what Yoh dreamt about so often. He relieved the night of his parents' murder, he saw everything again. For some reason he relieved that every single night. It must be like hell, watching such a bloody murder again and again for seven years… No wonder he never wanted to sleep. If Anna was on his place, she probably wouldn't want to either. And that was why Hao wanted Yoh to have a dreamless night. He didn't want Yoh to see that again, he didn't want Yoh to have a bad night because of that dream. And the little naps… When Anna touched him to try to wake him up, it probably reminded him of the killer reaching out to him with a knife in his hand.
"So his nightmares…"
"Yes, he still has them, every night." Hao sighed "It started on his first night at the hospital, after the detectives had finished talking with our grandparents. They didn't talk to Yoh and me, because we were too weak. I stayed by Yoh's side, sleeping in his hospital room with him. He started screaming and crying in the middle of the night. I was so scared; I didn't know what to do to calm him down. He had saved my life, and I couldn't even help him with a nightmare." Hao shook his head again "I didn't know that nights like that would be very common in our lives."
"What happened the next day?"
"The detectives asked us what happened. They had someone with them, to analyze us while we talked about what happened. First they asked me, and told them what I told you, of course back them I told them in a childish way, holding back a few tears and looking every now and then at Yoh, so he could give me strength." Hao now had a sad smile. That made sense. Anna knew that Yoh and Hao always searched for strength in each other. Even today she could still see that, whatever it was the two holding hands or just one quick glance, they would always try to support each other. It's something they always did, even before the murder, and Anna could only imagine that what happened to their parents brought them even closer.
"Then they tried to talk to Yoh." Hao's smile disappeared, and he now had a dark look on his eyes "Yoh wouldn't say a thing. He would look down at his hands folded in his lap, or look at me, desperate or he would start crying. I still remember the despair in his eyes, and how he was begging me to not force him to talk about it. They saw that as well, and thought maybe Yoh needed some time before talking about what he saw. 'We understand' they said 'It's a very traumatic experience for a ten year old. He can tell us when he is ready.'".
"I assume that's what happen. Yoh got better and told them, right?"
Hao laughed. A bitter, humorless laugh, full of sarcasm. His expression showing disgust. By that Anna could have guessed something went really wrong.
"That's what it was suppose to happen!" Hao said, still with that same expression "But as weeks went by, Yoh still didn't get any better. If anything, he got worst, probably because of his nightmares. The detectives couldn't take it anymore. They wanted to know who did it, and they couldn't wait for Yoh to get better! They couldn't wait until Yoh was ready to tell them! He would tell them, but he only needed some time!" Hao looked down, holding back a sob "They ruined everything! It's their fault Yoh is like that! It's their fault Yoh is all messed up on the inside!"
Yoh? Messed up? She knew he had problems, lot of them, but to say he was messed up wasn't a bit of an exaggeration? Someone would see Yoh and would only think he needed to eat more and get some sleep, probably just some teenager who spent most of his time studying so he could have good grades. He seemed normal at first, only when you really got to know him you saw all his problems.
Okay, so maybe he was messes up and Hao wasn't exaggerating.
"What did they do to him?"
"I wish I knew." Hao's voice now was a low whisper. "They tried to get the truth out of him, I guess. They told me to leave the room, and told my grandparents that they would try to help Yoh get better, so we could find the killer. They talked with Yoh for hours alone every day, and when they finally let me in, Yoh had that same look he had back at the movies." Anna bit her lip. She remembered that night perfectly. It was back then when she realized that whatever they were keeping from her was something truly terrible. And to imagine little ten year old Yoh, with that same terrified lost look on his eyes, full angst and despair… And to think Hao saw that every day after the detectives talked alone to Yoh… She shook her head. No, she could not think about it now "He had a hard time breathing, and I couldn't get him to react to anything for a few minutes. When he finally came back he had tears in his eyes… He didn't even smile or tried to tell me he was okay, like he normally would. And the detectives… The cops, they were so angry when they left the room."
"Why were they angry?"
"Because they couldn't get anything out of him." Hao sighed once again "That's all they cared about. It didn't matter what method or what it would happen to Yoh, they only wanted to close the case and get everything over with! They would never tell us what happened when they were alone… And I hated that! I still do! For some reason my brother went into that stage, probably because he was forced to relieve mom and dad's murder again and again, and I couldn't do anything to protect him! I hated it! I tried to stop them, but who would listen to a 10 year old brat? They didn't." Anna looked down. So at the movies, when Yoh saw the man with the knife and when he was outside he was relieving what happened to his parents. So that's why Hao was telling him that she was by his side; that it was over… Hao was trying to bring his mind back to the present.
"They would make him draw as well. They wanted to see if he could show them what happened in the drawings, but it never worked. I remember over hearing them analyzing his drawings, saying what he was trying to say, and then sighing and saying something like 'It's useless to this investigation.'."So that's what Yoh meant when they met again, saying they told him to draw…
"And one day… Yoh just stopped talking." Wait, what?
"What do you mean he 'stopped talking'?"
"Just what you heard. He stopped talking. Wouldn't say a word to anyone. Not even to me." Hao looked at the direction of the ice cream shop, probably looking for Yoh "He stopped reacting as well. He would just sit there, with a blank look, staring straight ahead. I would speak to him, but it was like he didn't even heard me. Those conversations we have sometimes didn't work either. It was like… It was like he was a body without a soul."
A body without a soul… Just like that drawing the Weird Mustache Guy destroyed.
"We had to order him to eat, sometimes even give him the food. I had to push him around, helping him brush his teeth and do things. And that's when the cops left us."
"Left you?"
"Yeah." Again he gave that laugh "They destroyed Yoh and then left, saying it would be better to wait until he was back to normal to try to talk to him again. They told us to seek help, but grandma and grandpa refused, saying that they wouldn't force Yoh to do anything else. We left him alone with them and that's what happened to him. We didn't want him to get any worse."
"And the drawings and nightmares…?"
"That was the only time Yoh actually reacted and did something. He would only let his emotions free when he was having nightmares, seeing everything again and again… And I would always give him paper so he could draw something. Anything. But I couldn't understand his drawings so…"
"So you started reading the psychology books."
Hao nodded, his eyes full with tears.
"It was the only way I could know what Yoh was feeling. And it still is. Yoh still won't open up. I need to know what he is feeling, if he is okay…"
"How long did that last? How long did he stay like that? Like a soulless body?"
"Years." Hao answered, shocking Anna once again "He can't exactly remember what happened during those years, and that's why we were homeschooled. I would be holding Yoh's hand every second, dragging him everywhere, telling him to eat and to sleep, helping him get dressed and other things. It was like having a doll. He never lost that blank look. Sometimes…" He sobbed, one tear now running down his cheek "Sometimes I would think I would never have Yoh back. I thought I had lost him forever."
I can't lose him again. Hao would repeat that many times. So that's what he meant… Hao is scarred, he doesn't want Yoh to go back to that state again. Not that Anna could blame him. Hearing it now, she wouldn't want that to happen him again either! Hao was always protecting Yoh from what seemed to be harmless things because he didn't want Yoh be like that again.
"So when you said Yoh couldn't talk, and you would call when you could you meant…"
"We really couldn't talk to you at the moment. I had to take care of Yoh, and Yoh… Yoh was just not there." Hao shook his head "Our lives were like that until about a year ago, when Yoh finally started reacting. He wouldn't talk, but I didn't care. He would smile and nod his head and when said yes, shake it when no. He would dress himself and I would almost never need to tell him to eat. It was so much progress…" Hao smiled "I was so happy that some part of Yoh was back."
Anna couldn't help but smile as well.
"And then… Finally, about two months before we moved, he spoke. After seven years he had finally said a word. He wasn't a silent person anymore. He spoke!" Hao's smile grew, almost as if he was relieving the moment and emotions from when he finally heard his brother's voice again, after 7 long years "He said my name. His voice was weird and low, but still… I was so happy! One of the things he said that day was 'We need to call Anna.'" And Hao laughed, "We tried calling you, at Kyoto, but you had moved."
Anna looked down. Ok, so they did call her again. 7 years later. She didn't know if she should be angry or happy.
"And when the cops heard about that, they came back." Hao's smile disappeared "They said they wouldn't force Yoh to speak again, like last time. They told us to bring some normality to our lives. They said we should start school and make friends, do normal activities, and soon Yoh would be able to speak again. I noticed, of course, that there were some things that You couldn't take."
"Like that movie."
"Yes…" he nodded "Like that movie. We were going to start school again but…" his voice got lower "he called."
"He? He who?" Anna was confused again.
"Who else?! The killer!" he was angry, and Anna shocked "Apparently he was spying on us during all these years! He called and Yoh answered the phone. He got that look on his face again, so I pressed the button. I recognize the voice instantly! He was threatening Yoh! He said that if Yoh ever said what happened that day, he would kill me and our grandparents! Of course, if Yoh had any plans of telling what happened, that shut him up."
Anna was still in shock.
"And that's why we moved. The original plan was for Yoh to come alone, to a place where he would be safe. But like hell I'm going to let him alone with them. Just look what happened7 years ago when we did leave Yoh alone with them! He just started talking again, I was not going to risk anything."
"And that's why you were hesitant in going back. You didn't want Yoh to go alone because…"
"Because I'm the only thing stopping them from interrogating him like they did 7 years ago. Like I said before, they want to close the case, not matter what! They don't give a damn about Yoh's mental health! They don't care if Yoh goes back to that state, as long as they get the guy!"
"What about you, Hao?" Anna looked at him curiously. "Don't you want him to go to jail as well?"
"Anna…" Hao sighed "My parents are dead. It hurts, but it's the truth. Nothing will bring them back. My entire family can see spirits, and I know that there is no way to bring the dead back to life. Putting that bastard in jail would give me a sense of justice, but it wouldn't bring them back. But Yoh… Yoh is still alive. He's still here, he still has a life to live. And I want him to live it happily. I want him to talk when he is ready, and if he is never ready, I'm okay with it. I just don't want him back to that state. I don't want him unhappy. He is what matters now. He is my priority."
Anna smiled. Of course. She should have known. Hao would always put Yoh in first place.
"The original plan was for only Yoh to move, but I came as well." Hao continued "We live with those three cops so they can protect us. And there are some with grandpa and grandma as well. We chose Tokyo because of all the people, surely if he noticed that we moved he would have a hard time finding us here. And that's it." Hao sighed "That's our story."
"So… The man is still out there?" Anna asked, looking around. She had no idea what he looked like, what his voice sounded like but… But to even think that there was someone out there, searching for them, trying to kill them… It caused her to panic! And she had no idea who it was!
"You are starting to feel it as well, aren't you?" Hao laughed "I feel the same way. Yoh is the only one who knows what he looks like, and he won't even draw his face. Anyone around here can be the man who killed my parents, the one who stabbed Yoh and who threaten us. He could be anywhere, watching us…"
"Yoh said it's safe… Then…"
"He meant that he isn't around." Hao looked around as well "But people keep coming and going, he may be here right now, searching for Yoh, trying to find out if he has spoken." He then calmly looked at Yoh "And Yoh… He is so fragile right now."
"Fragile?"
"Anything can send him back to that state. Back at the movies, I told you he had that same look in his eyes that he had when the detectives left him. And after that he went silent. I was scared that he would go back to that state at that moment. I thought I was going to lose him again." His voice showed all his sadness "And anything can send him over the edge. He is walking on a small line dividing him from how he is right now, and from that silent emotionless mode of his. Maybe even his nightmares can make him change back!"
That would explain why he was so overprotective. And Anna couldn't blame him. Even she was getting worried right now, wondering if it was okay leaving Yoh alone at the ice cream shop. One simple thing could affect him. And how would they bring him back if that happened? According to Hao it took 6 years until he could finally do things by himself, and 7 until he could speak. And he still couldn't talk about what happened, and still couldn't see things that reminded him of that night…
Somehow she felt bad for yelling at Hao for being overprotective. If it was Anna, she would probably do the same thing.
Not that she wasn't going to tell him that.
"And even thought he cares about me, he won't try to be anything more than just friends." She sighed. Well, that was just the icing on the cake. After hearing all of that sad story and everything it even had to come with the fact that it didn't matter their feelings for each other, Yoh wouldn't accept be anything but friends.
Perfect. If she ever saw that guy she would kill him!
"He loves you too much." Hao shrugged "He doesn't want you to get involved in this. He doesn't want the killer to figure out you are someone dear to him and try to use you just like he is using me, grandma and grandpa. He doesn't want you to get into any danger."
She never thought she would think this, but Anna seriously wanted Yoh to care for her a bit less than he did.
"It all makes sense now." She spoke in a low voice "It must have been hard on Yoh."
"It was." Hao said. "It still is." He stood up and offered her his hand "Come on, I think we left Yoh by himself long enough now."
Anna agreed, but did not take his hand. She just stood up without any help and walked silently towards the ice cream shop, where a brown eyed, pale, chocolate-haired boy waited by the door, looking at all the ice cream flavors in awe.
"Hey Yoh!" Hao greeted with a smile, as if the past few minutes hadn't even happened.
"Hao, look how many flavors they have!" Yoh said, smiling at his brother "They have so many, I don't know which one to chose!"
"I would think you would chose orange." Hao said, smiling at his brother.
"I would, but they don't have just orange." Yoh frowned "Plus, I want to try something new!" he smiled again "Will you share it with me, Anna?"
Anna looked away, blushing. Looking at him right now she would have never guessed Hao's story was true. But she knew it was. She could see it in his eyes, the guilt, the loneliness, the sadness… The smiles were just an act, something he was putting so no one would worry about him.
"Why don't we order a Sundae and we all share?" Hao suggested, smiling at his brother. Yoh nodded, almost as if he knew Hao what Hao meant behind those words and went to the back of the line.
Anna started walking again, but Hao held her wrist.
"After all this is over, and he can finally make a move, don't you dare break his heart." He was serious "Or I will be the one punching you. I have no problems with hitting a girl. I'm for equality between sexes."
Anna rolled her eyes.
Like hell she would ever let Hao punch her.
For some reason I feel like I own you all an apology. This chapter was terrible, I know! _ It was so confusing, and so hard to write it. Now you understand why I had to divide it? If it was all one chapter it would be too confusing. _ I hope everyone understood what happened. And the ending was just terrible, but I couldn't find a way to end it properly. I wanted to end it with Hao saying something like "Since we came here he doesn't need to pretend to be happy anymore", but it would be too OOC. So I decided to do it with Hao being the one saying that he would punch Anna, and I just had to use that quote from Ed where he says he is for equality between sexes. XDD
Now I think everyone understands the reason for the name of the fanfic. ^^ And now the big mystery is over… But don't worry, I'll soon throw some more suspense into the fanfic! XD And my cliffhanger chapters will be back really soon!
And Wow! For the past three chapter I've received exactly 12 reviews. XD Let's see if we can have 13 (which is the most I received in one chapter. Chapter 4, the one where I revealed Mikihisa and Keiko were dead) on this one!
Sorry again if this chapter was way below your expectations.
