"When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you."

Chapter Nine

Bella had no intentions of jumping into another relationship after what she had gone through. But here she was, getting involved with a man she hardly knew, and just like her, he had emotional baggage. His insecurities were evident. Would she be the one to thaw him out of the icy shell that he'd built around himself?

She leaned forward to hold his hand, that didn't startle him. He seemed to have been expecting it. He caressed her palm with his, picking up her other hand as he looked at her with tenderness and longing that sent her heart racing. Licking her lips absentmindedly, she knew right then that she wanted Edward to kiss her.

Reading her mind, Edward didn't have to dig deeper into his own feelings, there was nothing else he would rather do. He took her chin with one hand and tilted her face closer to his, looking intently in her eyes as he slowly brought his mouth down to hers, tentatively caressing her lips. Bella wound her hand around his neck, tangling her fingers in his golden hair and returning his ardent probing with tender kisses that sent tingles down his spine. He heaved a soft sigh as he gently nudged her down on the sofa to lie on her back; he carefully went on top of her. Bracing his full weight on his arms and legs, he was breathing hard now, totally caught up in the moment.

Moments passed as their heated desire took them further than they intended. Edward realized that once he started this, he wouldn't want to stop. He didn't want this connection to be a one cheap shot, just the way it had been with Ashley.

Ending their kisses abruptly, Edward got up as he smoothed his rumpled shirt. Bella was still breathing heavily, dazed and surprised by Edward's sudden withdrawal.

"Bella, there's nothing more I would rather do than to kiss and hold you," he said as he helped her sit upright. "I don't want us getting carried away in the heat of the moment."

She closed her eyes as she gathered her wits about her, soothing the ache that she felt for him. She knew it took Edward a great amount of self control to stop. He was right; their attraction to each other went far beyond the calling of their physical desires.

Edward glanced at the clock on the wall. It was around midnight, and he realized that it was time to go, Bella needed some rest and they could both use some alone time to think things through.

He retrieved a small paper bag in his pocket and handed it to Bella, taking the bag with hesitation, she peeked in the bag and saw her prescriptions, sighing she asked, "How'd you do it?"

"Take your pain medication now, you should get some rest, it had been a long day for you, and I better go," he said without answering her question. He walked across the room to pick up his crutches. "Can I see you again tomorrow?"

"Yes, I would love that." She came over to lightly touch his arm as he opened the door.

"Sleep easy Bella, I'll see you in the morning," he planted a kiss on her forehead, a lingering one as he let her scent dilute his senses.

As the sound of Edward's car faded, Bella let her torrent of emotions spill. She had fallen in love with Edward. The revelation left her shaking while she changed into her nightgown and brushed her teeth. She curled into a ball on her bed, hugging her knees into her chin. She knew from the very start that she was doomed to fall in love with him.

The very thought of falling in love made her cringe. How could she have allowed herself to fall in love again? She felt deep inside that he was different from the others guys she'd dated before. Different, there's something about him that she couldn't put her fingers on, that he was from a different time and his skin was pale and cold. Could there be a secret that he hadn't told her? He told her about his handicap, and that didn't matter at all. She wouldn't love him any less. His eyes told her that she could trust him, should she? Sleep finally caught up with her as she searched for answers.

The Cullen house was bustling when Edward finally came out of his room. He found Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice in the family room as Rosalie was beating Emmett in a game of poker. Alice wasn't allowed to play since they call her a cheat because of her ability to see things ahead of time. "Show your cards Emmett!" Rosalie ordered with a smug look on her face. Emmett dropped his card on the table, "Flush, King high," he said triumphantly."

"Hah, I beat you! Full house baby!" Rosalie jumped up, clapping and high fiving with the rest. Emmett slumped on the chair, defeated but chuckling, Rosalie was really into it, dancing and jumping up and down. The others were all laughing with her.

"Hi Son." Carlisle called out as soon as he walked in.

" Hi Dad." He answered with a smile that didn't escape everyone's attention. They all looked at each other, giving one another a knowing look.

"Aren't we cheerful today?" Emmett joked right away as he gave his little brother a slap in the back. "Must be a girl," he couldn't help himself with that.

Edward's grin got bigger as he looked at Alice who was cuddling with Jasper on the chaise by the window. "So, a little bird sang already?" he said as he moved towards the pair. He messed Alice's hair as Jasper was laughing hard.

"What?" Alice was feigning ignorance as she darted a bad look at Emmett.

Emmett held up both his hands, "sorry Alice, I couldn't help myself." Of course he wasn't sorry and Edward knew it. His big brother had always been interested in his affairs. "Tell us about her Eddie."

Edward raked his hair with his hand; there was no getting away with this now. All golden eyes were on him now, waiting for him to spill.

"Why don't I let Alice tell the story since she got a head start already?" he teased. He knew that they were going to badger him until he said something.

It was Esme who answered her eyes solemn and reassuring, "Why don't you guys ease off on your brother for now? He will tell us about this girl when he's good and ready."

"Mom, there isn't much to tell," Edward said.

"S'okay Eddie, I can wait," Emmett joked again as he shuffled the cards for another round of poker. "Wanna play?"

He knew Emmett so well, he wouldn't want to play with Edward because of his mind reading ability, and he was only being an ass. He laughed as he shook his head.

Edward turned his attention to Carlisle who was reading a paper seated at the sofa. "Dad, could you come with me, I want to introduce you to someone, and I also need your help on something," he asked, hopeful.

Folding the paper as he looked at Edward, there was nothing he wouldn't do for his youngest son. "Sure son. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

"Ah, um, can you bring your medical bag too?" he asked, thinking of Bella's head stitches that needed to be cleaned and dressed.

"Okay, I'll meet you down here in a few," Carlisle said as he headed upstairs to change.

They drove to Bella's trailer home in a comfortable silence. Carlisle didn't ask too many questions, Edward would talk when he wanted to and he was fine with that. Edward parked his car next to Bella's trailer and they walked up to her doorstep quietly.

Bella was getting her breakfast ready of milk and cereal when she heard the knocking. Her heart skipped a beat; she knew who it would be as she glanced at the wall clock. She was wearing her nightgown under a robe and she checked herself quickly on the mirror, taking in her appearance. She looked a bit rested, she had a little ring under her eyes from lack of sleep, her hair tied back in a neat ponytail, otherwise, she looked presentable enough.

"Good morning Bella," Edward greeted cheerfully, checking her from head to toe, all too aware that she had enough sleep.

Bella glanced at the man standing next to Edward and she gasped, recognizing Carlisle in an instant. She held the doorknob tighter as thoughts started running her mind. The same thing happened with Carlisle, his face registered surprise when he saw the girl at the door but he said nothing. What a small world!

Edward didn't miss any of the reactions nor the thoughts that were going through their minds but chose to leave his questions for later.

Bella was able to gather herself together after a few moments, "Hello Edward." How was your morning?" she asked politely, still looking at Carlisle.

"Oh Bella, I want you to meet my father, Carlisle. Dad this is Bella." The older man extended his hand to Bella and she readily grasped it. "Hello Bella."

"Hello Carlisle," she said respectfully, her voice quivering a little bit. "Please come in and have a seat." She closed the door behind them as she motioned for them to sit on the sofa.

"I would like my father to look at your stitches, to clean it up and apply a fresh dressing. He is a doctor at Forks Hospital," Edward said in a matter of fact voice. In reality, he could've change the dressing himself but he didn't know what his reaction would be if Bella's blood was involved. He didn't feel comfortable with the idea of putting Bella's life in danger.

"You didn't have to drag your father here, I am sure he is a busy man. I am grateful though for the house-call." Bella sat down on the lone chair by the sofa, next to Edward.

Carlisle answered in a soothing voice while looking at Bella directly. "Don't worry about it Bella, I would love to help a friend of my son."

Glancing at the breakfast on the counter, Edward knew that Bella hadn't eaten yet. "Why don't you finish your breakfast first and we'll wait here."

Bella deliberated for a moment but went to the kitchen to eat her cereal in silence, glancing at Edward and Carlisle every now and then. The two were just sitting in silence, she could sense that there was a conversation going on but she didn't hear anything, aside from the movement in Edward's mouth, they made no sound at all.

She finished her cereal in a hurry and headed back to the small living room after leaving the bowl at the sink.

"I'm ready," she announced and the two men got up on their feet as she came in the room.

Carlisle took his medical bag that was resting on the floor and went to the chair where Bella was sitting.

"I am going to be cleansing and changing the dressing on your sutures right now. Tell me if it stings, ok? Carlisle snapped on a pair of surgical gloves.

"Okay." Bella just barely got the words out when she started wincing at the pain of the gauze being stripped off her scalp. Edward jumped up, almost crouching at the sound of her pain, a low growl rumbled from within him.

"Calm down, son, it's okay," Carlisle chastised him.

His eyes were wild as he looked protectively at Bella, "Are you okay Bella?" he asked, hovering close to his father and Bella.

Bella nodded as Carlisle poured natural saline on the stitches while he dabbed it clean, he pulled out an iodine bottle from his bag and applied some on the sutures. "Your wound is healing just fine, it's almost dry, make sure you don't get it wet when you shower," he advised. Carlisle finished off by applying fresh gauze and taped it closed. "There you go Bella, we're all done here," Carlisle said with a smile, happy with the worked he'd done.

Bella tentatively traced her fingers in the back of her head to touch the freshly applied bandage and smiled appreciatively at Carlisle. "Thank you very much Carlisle." She wondered about Edward's display of possessiveness, did he just growl at his father? she asked herself.

"I'm so sorry for being so jumpy, Bella, I just get squeamish at the sight of blood and wounds," Edward lied as he helped her up from her chair. He didn't let go of her hand as they walked out the door to leave. "Do you want me to come back and keep you company later on this afternoon?"

"I'd like that Edward," and turning to Carlisle, "thank you again Carlisle, I really appreciate it."

What a shitty situation to be in. Jason thought as he checked the time on his wristwatch. "What the crap, she's late again?"

He'd been seeing this Judith girl for a few weeks since they met at the club he frequented and where she worked. There hadn't been any chance to get any information from her regarding Bella. Patience is not something he had in abundance. It was wearing thin and he was on his last thread.

Exhaling hard, he raked his hand on his blonde hair as he checked his face in the rearview mirror; he'd developed a pair of black bags under his eyes. Lack of sleep, that's what it was, he told himself as he adjusted himself on the driver's seat of his car. He'd been waiting for an hour and Judith had yet to come out of her shift at the club.

He had, on a few occasions, found a chance to snoop around Judith's apartment on any information that may lead him to Bella, and he had come up empty. The only indication that they were indeed cousins were the few pictures of the two women still prominently displayed in Judith's living room.

A year or so had passed since he had last seen Bella. That night he left her after he'd beaten her up and fucked her hard. He could still taste the anger in his tongue. She was a bitch and a big flirt, he thought angrily, he was getting worked up over her even after a year had passed. She was with him, for crying out loud, she should have acted appropriately instead of talking to those fucking co-worker of hers.

The air was thick in his car as he huffed on the memories that came barraging him like a kick in the gut. Nobody could get away from him just like that! She was his, nothing or no one could change that.

She's better off dead, he thought angrily as he rammed his fist on the steering wheel.

A light tapping on his window brought him out of his angry stupor. He looked up to find Judith outside his car. He unlocked the door to allow her to get in as he straightened his posture. He managed to wipe the angry expression off his face as she got in.

"Hey Jason, sorry if I was late. There were a few problems in the club and I couldn't leave until was sorted out." Her sorry excuse was getting old, he thought acidly but he didn't show it.

He gave her a short nod as he started the engine and eased the car out of the now deserted parking lot. Judith was not oblivious to the fact that she pissed him off again for making him wait longer than usual. She'd have to think of a way to appease him, to get him out of the sulky mood he'd been in for almost a week now.

"So, how was your day?" she asked trying to steer the conversation to much safer ground. Get him out of that rot he's in, she thought.

"Nothing much happened," he answered in a clipped tone.

"How was the commercial audition you were going for? Did you get the job?

"No, and I don't want to talk about it."

Silence followed and lingered for the rest of the drive to her apartment and neither one said anything during the short walk to her apartment.

The obsession of finding Bella had him on a foul mood lately, and he could only associate it with his meeting with Judith. If he hadn't met her, he wouldn't have any idea where to start finding her. Now, he knew that it was just a matter of time before he would pry that information from Judith.

Jason pretended to be engrossed in the pictures on her mantle. Looking at every single one with interest, asking to identify all the people in each picture and Judith was all too willing to give him detailed information, happy with the fact that he seemed curious about her and her friends and family.

When Jason got to the picture of Judith and Bella, he nonchalantly asked, "And who is this girl with you? A high school friend?"

"Oh no, that's Bella, my first cousin. We are very close, just like we're sisters. " Her face turned wistful as she sighed and Jason took the opening he could to gather more information.

"Why is it that you don't mention her at all? Have you been hanging out lately?"

"Well, she doesn't live here anymore. She left without any word, her parents are still looking for her, and it's been over a year now since she left."

The ache in Judith's heart from losing her best friend/sister had been tremendous during the first few months until she received a call from Bella. Nobody but her knew where she was, not even her parents. Judith made a promise that she wouldn't tell anyone her whereabouts. They had been in constant communication ever since. Would she be betraying Bella's trust by mentioning it to her boyfriend? She didn't think so.

"Why do you think she left?" Jason asked innocently, playing the part of curious boyfriend real well.

"I, um, I think she had a fight with her boyfriend and she could no longer stay with him, so she left." Unsure whether she should say more, she left it at that. Considering Jason didn't even know Bella or her family, it wouldn't harm Bella if she divulged more information. It would be pretty cool, she thought, if the two could meet someday. Besides, she had met her Romeo, and it was just fitting that she introduced him to her best friend.

There was a sudden twinkle in Judith's eyes when she realized something. "Know what's funny? Her ex boyfriends name was also Jason. That is just too funny to me, what a coincidence huh?"

He walked to her apartment window to gaze at the park below; he didn't acknowledge revelation about the name, his name.

"Hmmm, if you guys are like sisters, you must have an idea where she is, won't you?" He tried to sound detached, if not just curious about the subject at the moment.

Judith deliberated whether or not to answer the question truthfully, she was positive that Bella wouldn't mind if she told Jason. What would Jason do with the information anyway?

"Yeah, she told me where she is but I have no way to contact her, she calls me when she can."

It was a good thing that Jason had his back on Judith at that very moment so Judith didn't witnessed him gritting his teeth and his knuckles turning white from gripping the window sill too tight. It took so much from him to maintain his composure. He wouldn't want Judith to suspect anything.

He let the conversation flow to another subject, occasionally nodding or shaking his head. He was but a few steps away from finding Bella, and by all means, he would find her.

It was his silent promise to himself.

A/N: Uh oh, Jason didn't sound like he is giving up on the idea of finding Bella. Let's just hope that Judith would sense that something was brewing there.

Let me know what you think of this chapter. Please leave your comments, I will appreciate it very much.