...You Might Be Fred Smith

IF:

You think Caitians are hot!

There's a course on you at Starfleet Medical Academy

Your chair has seat belts

You sleep better in Sick Bay rather than in your own bedroom

There's a Bio bed reserved on any ship in the fleet just for you

Alcohol turns you into a Kung Fu master

You ever choked on a diagnostic tool

You're not allowed to use sharp implements...EVER

You can do new and unusual things with a transporter

Your clones are real pansies

All the corners in your quarters are padded

You can maintain a cheesy grin...while on fire

You know all the medical personnel in the quadrant by name

Crossing the room involves donning personal protective equipment

The Borg don't WANT to assimilate you

You're think that fire suppressant foam is fun

You can strangle yourself with anything

You never have to fight your way through a crowded room. They run out of your way in fear

You spent most of your youth unconscious

The thought of hairballs makes you giddy