Pants
Remus had never been terribly enthusiastic about fancy dress. It was probably due to a bad childhood memory of his eccentric Aunt Bessie's fancy dress wedding reception. Of course, Remus's father, who was even more eccentric than his sister, thought it'd be funny to dress Remus as a pineapple. His cousins had never let the incident rest.
So he was opting for a more normal costume tonight for the Order's fancy dress Halloween party, lovingly organised by Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance. Halloween was an unhappy time for Remus and Sirius, and not just because of the costumes, and this was why they had agreed not to go too over-the-top.
The costume had been quite simple. All he had needed to do was borrow the uniform from one of his Auror friends, who kept it as a rather stupid disguise. It was stupid in the way that it would definitely stick out on an ordinary day, but for a party it was perfect for someone who didn't really want to be at the heart and soul of the event.
Remus had fully changed into his costume as a sailor, and was now leaning against the wall between Sirius's bedroom and Nymphadora Tonks's. He didn't know what either of them were going as and tried to suppress ideas of their costumes from his mind. Sirius always chose something that was beyond Remus's small imagination, and Nymphadora…well, Remus immediately terminated his thoughts when he found himself wondering if she would go as an air hostess.
Before his mind could turn once again to thoughts of whether and how much she liked him, Sirius's door swung open. Remus had no idea what he was supposed to be dressed as. He looked rather normal…just a little exaggerated. He was dressed in some very old clothes.
"Padfoot, what are you supposed to be, a house elf?"
Sirius frowned, confusedly, as if he expected Remus to instantly know what he was supposed to be. His hand went to his forehead a second later.
"Damnit! I've forgotten the finishing touch!"
He dashed back in, and then emerged shortly afterwards with shiny silver threads in his hair. Though it wasn't very accurate, it occurred to Remus what, or who, Sirius was trying to portray.
"Do you like it, Moony?"
"I would just like to say I do have better taste in clothing than that." Remus said, looking at the get-up with mild disdain.
"Back to your old sarky self, eh? I must be making you happy." Sirius pointed out, correctly. Remus smiled at him.
"Thank you for forgetting my facial scars, Sirius."
"Oh, d…I mean, not at all, Remus."
It was Sirius's turn to look Remus up and down.
"Well done, mate. Every woman loves a man in a uniform."
"I am not hoping to attract women, Sirius."
"Of course not, Moony. I completely understand; you're hoping to attract a woman. Singular. Namely, Nymphadora Tonks."
"I…Padfoot! You know perfectly well that vibrant young women like Nymphadora Tonks are not interested in stuffy, boring old men like me."
"If you're old, then I'm old, and I am NOT old, Remus Lupin."
Remus sighed, and looked over towards Tonks's door.
"If you think she's not interested in you, Remus, you're in for a surprise tonight." Sirius said, quietly, shaking his head from side to side.
Remus's ears pricked up at this statement. He turned back to Sirius, a little too quickly.
"You're keen!" his old friend laughed. "I'm not telling you what she's wearing, but I will tell you that she is not going as an air hostess, you pervert."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius. But I do know that the party has already started downstairs, as I can smell the salty snacks Hestia has laid out. Tonks is taking a very long time."
"Go and knock on her door."
"No! Goodness me! What if she's…shaving her legs or something?"
"It's not like you're going in there, Remus."
Remus rolled his eyes and reluctantly stepped up to Tonks's door. Incredibly gently, he tapped it. Even he couldn't hear that, so he tapped a little louder.
And the door creaked open a little. Tonks turned around to look, and Remus quickly hid himself from her view. He could see, however, that she was wearing a very long, shiny red cape with a hood. And underneath that cape were some black, lacy stocking with matching…
"Oh my God Sirius. Look what you've done. You've made me blush and tremble for the second time in my life."
"And this time it wasn't by showing you photographs of air hostesses."
Remus felt terrible. He really felt like a dirty old man now…especially since, he had to admit, he hadn't seen curves like that for many years and was very pleased to be reconciled.
"You can see her pants, can't you?"
Remus did not dignify that with a reply.
"What colour are they, then?"
"Black…oh, dear God, Padfoot!"
Remus marched over to Sirius to give him what for, when Tonks's voice carolled from behind him.
"Wotcher, lads. What are you arguing about now?"
"Nothing, Tonks." Remus said, fully aware that he was fully blushing and getting more ashamed by the second. Sirius, too, was red in the face. With laughter.
"Good. Shall we go downstairs and get jiggy with it, then?"
She began to make her way down the steps, her long satin cape trailing behind her.
"Oh, and by the way, Remus, your costume is very…fetching. I do like a man in a uniform."
Sirius winked at Remus, who, despite being thoroughly abashed, could feel the corners of his mouth slowly rising as he went towards the party.
