Title: Hindsight, With a Sixty Percent Chance of About-face
Pairing: Rachel Morgan/Ivy Tamwood
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.
Summary: Ever since Ivy had told her she was going to move on, Rachel has been feeling a little out of sorts. But it was just a saying; Ivy wasn't going anywhere. Except, it wasn't, and she was.
She lunged at me quickly and the next thing I knew my back was against the door and Ivy was pressed tightly against me. A surprised breath wheezed out of me. She and I hadn't sparred together in months and it seemed that I had completely lost what little edge I had had. Either that or my subconscious just really wanted to be pinned to a hard surface by what was looking to be an irate Ivy Tamwood.
My eyes strayed past of what little of Ivy's head I could see as I saw Wayde hop up and head towards us. "No!" I urged, eyes widening as he quickly approached. The last thing I needed was Wayde dying in the sanctuary because he decided to go toe to toe with Ivy.
He hesitated, then stopped once he realized she wasn't really attacking me. She was sniffing me, and not liking what she smelled if the grunt of disgust I just heard come from her was any indication. "I got this, Wayde. Just go to bed, please," I pleaded, more so for his life than anything. If he actually thought he stood a chance against Ivy then I was starting to question his intelligence.
Still looking anxious, he took a step forward. "Are you sure?" he asked.
Bad move.
As soon as the floorboard creaked under his weight, Ivy swiveled around with a growl of annoyance, taking a protective, possessive stance in front of me.
"I'm sure!" I said. "Just go! We're fine!"
Against my better judgement, I reached out and loosely grabbed Ivy's arm, not enough to make her feel trapped, but enough to get her to focus on the task at hand. Less than a second later her midnight eyes filled with fire bored into me. From behind her, I saw Wayde slink off and breathed a sigh of relief.
But it was short lived.
Both hands suddenly plastered on the door and entire body plastered to me, Ivy dipped her head until her nose was running along my throat. She buried her face into my neck and took a deep breath. I shuddered and melted into the door as her breath enflamed my demon scar. I didn't know what the hell was going on. But Ivy had never actually bitten me against my will and I trusted her to ask if she actually wanted to.
She pulled back with a growl that resonated deep in my groin. "Did she bite you?" Ivy asked gruffly.
Realization dawned on me instantly. Vampires were extremely territorial, Ivy specifically and probably especially so now that we were sharing blood. Though I loathed the idea of being possessed, I could recognize that ultimately what Ivy wanted was reassurance that I wasn't going anywhere. "She didn't bite me," I soothed.
Her hand rose to roughly yank the collar of my shirt lower and she nosed a trail across my collarbone. A soft moan escaped me at the feel of her lips brushing over me, and suddenly I wanted to feel them on me with more purpose. "I can smell her on you."
The tone of her voice was accusatory and before I was able to utter another word, she pulled me toward her rigid body, wrapping her arms tightly around me to the point of discomfort. She nipped at my neck with purpose and I knew the next bite was going to break skin.
"Ivy, wait," I whispered, voice soft and firm all at once. She stopped moving and breathing all together but she was still here, something that wouldn't have been the case if I had told her to stop. I would have been standing here alone and she probably would have fled the church. I didn't want her to leave. I didn't even want her to let me go; I just needed her to calm down.
After a moment of her standing rigidly against me, I reached out to curl my arms around her waist. She gasped softly in surprise, face still buried into my neck like a frightened little girl as I pulled her closer. My hands splayed across her back, rubbing lean muscles until they loosened and Ivy sagged against me.
Her breathing evened out against me, warm puffs of air brushing against my neck and I shivered as my arms tightened around her. This felt right. I had been resisting all of my feelings for Ivy for years—to finally give in to them and hold her against me made my chest feel warm.
"I give you this, Ivy," I said softly. "There is no reason you should have to take it like this."
She shuddered against me with a whimper, burying her face further into my neck. Her hold on me slackened the barest hint until I could breathe without labored effort. I took a deep breath, rubbing a hand up her back and burying it into her hair. Her breath was warm against my neck, steady. She was gaining control again and as long as I didn't make any sudden movements, and Jenks and Wayde didn't come barging in, we were going to be alright. Speaking of Jenks…
"Ivy?" I prompted, still massaging the back of her neck.
She hummed against me.
"Where's Jenks?"
Ivy stiffened at the question and I held her tighter so she wouldn't pull away, but my curiosity was morphing into anxiety.
Puffing out a semi-annoyed breath like this was the absolute last thing she wanted to talk about, she answered me. "I told him to get lost," she said softly. "Or I was going to kill him."
It was an empty threat—Ivy and Jenks had threatened each other's lives several times over the years, but I was normally always there to diffuse the tension. I wasn't here when they got into whatever argument that had prompted Ivy to threaten him and my eyes wandered behind her as I wondered if he was okay.
"You didn't…hurt him, did you, Ivy?"
Her lips skimmed my neck and my head tipped back against the door, a not so subtle hint to her that I wanted it. Though the 'it' in question, she may not know—whether I wanted her to bite me or kiss me. And with a dizzy head, I realized I wanted both. Now. Right now. "No," she breathed against me.
She continued to mold her lips to me, not quite kissing as they traveled up my neck, under my chin and across my cheek. When she reached the corner of my mouth like she had a week ago, she pulled back slightly. I felt her breath against the corner of my mouth and all it would take was for me to turn my head…
Hand tightening on the back of her neck in anxiety, I turned, dragging my eyes up from the cleavage shown in her mostly unbuttoned polo shirt, over her smooth, pale throat, to her lips where my gaze hung. Her lips were pink, plump, and they looked hungry, lonely, set into a pout as if the need to kiss me just made Ivy sad.
Reluctantly my eyes left her lips to find Ivy's own eyes, black as sin and staring at me intently. She had gone completely still in my arms, barely breathing as she stared at me, her hungry gaze contrasting with her blank features.
"Ivy," I whispered, heart pounding in my chest. I could feel a trickle of heat travel down my body and my eyes fluttered as something clenched white hot inside of me.
Ivy took a deep breath at my reaction, those beautiful eyes widening. Her head tilted as she eyed me, almost curiously. "You're scared and…aroused," she breathed, sounding like she was in awe.
I nodded quickly. "I'm terrified." My hold tightened around her to bring her closer around the same time Ivy stiffened. She pulled as far back away from me as she could without actually breaking the hold I had on her. "What's wrong, Ivy?" I asked.
She stared at me for a long moment, grief slowly morphing her features into pained. "Even after all this time you're still…" she trailed off sadly, shaking her head. "No."
"Ivy, wha—"
She was already halfway through the sanctuary before I could even get a word out.
Stunned for a moment, I quickly gathered by bearings and followed behind her as fast as I could, throwing my jacket off in an attempt to keep it from slowing me down. She was miles ahead of me though, and my walk turned into a light job. By the time I made it to her door it was already shut tight.
I stood outside of her door, looking confused and a little hurt. This wasn't supposed to be difficult. I was supposed to just come in, share blood with Ivy, profess my love, and hopefully kiss her, or something. But I had been in this house for over half an hour and I hadn't even gotten a welcome home.
I reached out to lightly run my fingers across the door as I bit my lip, contemplating my next move. Finally, I steeled my resolve. "You had better be in the belfry, Wayde!" I shouted loudly enough for him to hear, then mentally chastised myself for the possibility of haven woken up an entire pixy clan. Once the coast was clear, I reached for the doorknob, turning it slowly.
Predictably Ivy's door was unlocked. I didn't doubt that she left because she wanted space, but I knew a test when I saw one, especially after living with her for so many years. Everything was a test. Right now she was testing to see if I cared enough to chase after her the way she had fruitlessly spent years chasing after me. Well, now her tree bore fruit, and it was ripe and for the picking. I just hoped Ivy wasn't too tired of a farmer to let this harvest go.
I really needed to stop with this analogy.
I opened the door to her room to find it dimly lit. There was a lamp in the corner that she had thrown a scarf over to cast a soft pink hue over the room, and I felt welcomed, even if I wasn't, as I closed the door behind me. When she looked up at me from where she had her head in her hands, perched atop her bed, I locked the door in a show that I trusted her. Probably stupid on my part, but we were soon going to find out.
"Ivy?" I voiced softly as I slowly made my way to her.
She shot up from the bed, looking like a scorned lover as her shoulders pulled taut in her outrage. "You don't change!" she accused.
I abruptly stopped my advance on her at her outburst. Flustered all of a sudden, I looked wildly around the room as if the response to her vague shout was somewhere in the shadows. "What?" I asked, almost incredulously considering what I had gone through tonight. "What are you talking about, Ivy?"
"You always do this, Rachel," Ivy told me, advancing on me with quickness that bordered on vampire speed until she was directly in front of me. The ire shining clearly in her eyes gave way to weariness, defeat, and I would have much preferred her anger than this. "You always do this to me," she lamented sadly. She brought up her hand, curling it and running the backs of her fingers down my bare arm. Goosebumps rose in their wake, and I shivered as she looked me directly in the eye. "I turn you on," Ivy told me. "I know I do. I always have and you've always resisted. And you're always scared."
"Ivy, I—"
"And last week I thought—" She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head to herself as her arm dropped back to her side. I felt cold all of a sudden and wanted nothing more than to throw myself at her and wrap around her body heat. "I thought you were actually changing. You know, learning." Her tongue darted out to languidly travel along her lower lip and she watched me watch it until she curled it back into her mouth. "I mean, you humped me on my bike on the way to the crime scene, Rachel. Who does that?"
"Ivy—" I pleaded, wanting a chance to talk, but she cut me off.
"So, I thought that you wanted to try…us, finally. And I gave you the time you needed." She looked at me sadly. "I was never going to push you. But in there," she said as her eyes flickered towards the door, indicating the sanctuary, "you looked like you wanted me to kiss you. And I was going to. Dear heart, I've wanted to kiss you so badly since the night you couldn't stop squirming on my bike."
"Ivy," I moaned, both at her words and the fact that a rush of pheromones poured off of her in waves as we both thought back to that night.
The low, needy tone of my voice stopped her completely as her nostrils flared, taking in my scent. "I know how you feel about me," Ivy said morosely. "Hell, I knew before you did." She took a threatening step closer, looking sleek and predatory under her black clothing as her hips swayed. "For years I could smell your arousal, Rachel. It's teased me since before I even pinned you to that damn couch three years ago."
I should have been denying this, the fact that she was alluding to even during our days with the I.S. she could still smell my arousal for her. I should have been calling her a liar, but I couldn't help but fidget before her. My pulse seemed to quicken and call out to her to come even closer.
"I can smell you right now," Ivy rasped. Her head tilted as she regarded me. "You're already wet. What are you thinking about, Rachel?"
I felt myself flood at the uncharacteristic way she called me out on my own arousal. Kissing you, I answered in my head as my gaze dropped down to her lips. They were practically eye level, and as she closed her teeth around her plump bottom lip, something hot clenched inside of me. Ivy purred, scenting the fresh wave of my arousal.
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be tangled in bed sheets with her like I had fantasized about more times than I could count. Ivy's sleepy gaze regarding me from under a mound of blankets with love shining in her eyes. Damn it, I just wanted her to love me.
Suddenly she stiffened before me, a guarded look overcoming her heated gaze. "You still smell—"
"Ivy, I'm anxious," I rushed out in a breath. "About this." I gestured between the two of us. "I'm not afraid of you, Ivy. I'm afraid of trying this because I don't know what I'm doing. And I hate that I don't know." I shrugged a shoulder, almost helplessly as Ivy's eyes slowly widened in understanding. "Ivy, I love you. Truly, but you're a woman, and…I don't know—I mean, I know the logistics of it, but I—this is different for me."
"You're not scared of me?" Ivy asked quietly, and I vehemently shook my head.
"If you had given me the chance to talk, I would have told you that," I couldn't help but grumble. I dared to take a step closer, completely in her personal space. "Ivy, I'm scared of being with you. But," I quickly added, "I want to be with you. I love you…so much more than I ever thought I could. I'm in love with you, Ivy. And it scares me. But I—you're right," I told her with a small blush. "You do turn me on."
"I always have," Ivy asserted, making me confess the fact that even when I was terrified of her, even back to the first time she pinned me on the couch in the living room—I was aroused by her this entire time.
With a tight swallow, I quietly admitted, "You have. All this time."
I felt like a total spaz as I babbled on to her, then Ivy's eyes filled with tears that scared the crap out of me. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she wrapped her arms around me, squeezing air out of me like I was a tube full of toothpaste. Though I didn't know what it meant, I melted in her embrace, glad that she wasn't yelling at me anymore.
"Silly, stupid witch," Ivy whispered affectionately in my ear, molding all of her curves into mine. It was a lover's embrace, I realized deliriously. She nuzzled my ear with the tip of her nose and a purr rumbling in her chest. Then, as if something had just occurred to her, she stopped—still holding me close with her lips against my ear. "What was the whole date with Nina about, then?"
Her voice had lost its accusatory edge now that she was able to get her hands on me, hold me possessively know that her feelings were tentatively being reciprocated. "It wasn't a date date," I told her, then sighed, thinking the truth would set me free.
Or get me sweet Ivy kisses, whichever.
"We talked about you," I continued. "I was freaking out, trying to figure how I could feel this way about you."
"Because I'm a woman," Ivy said, finally catching on.
I nodded against her shoulder, wrapping my arms fully around her waist. My chest rose and fell with quick breaths as I contemplated what I was about to say. "Ivy, I—I think we're soulmates," I whispered, somewhat self-consciously as I burrowed further into her shoulder.
Ivy went incredibly still.
It was always unnerving when she did that.
She pulled back, eyes brimming with tears that somehow made her look even more beautiful as she stared down at me. "Soulmates?" she breathed. "You—really?"
I nodded, not knowing whether her reaction was a good thing or not. "The undead vamp in Nina said that vampires don't believe in soulmates for…obvious reasons."
Her gaze darkened imperceptibly. Vampires didn't like to speak of their souls, Ivy especially. It was a sensitive topic for her and she still held out hope that I would be able to save her soul one day. For both of our sakes, I hoped so, too.
"He said that the closest word he could come to soulmate was 'scion'," I continued.
Understanding dawned on her as her lips parted slightly. "You already told me no, though," she said sadly, and I really wished I could let go of my squeamish tendencies of needing complete control of myself to make Ivy happy, to be her scion. Be that as it may, though…I doubted that I'd ever make it to that point. I trusted her, completely. It was just my own issue that kept me from making that commitment.
"I did," I said carefully, trying not to turn this love declaration into a rejection. "But I—Ivy, I've just missed you," I told her sincerely. "When you told me to let you move on, I started to miss you immediately. I missed you hunting me, despite the fact that you would never admit that you were and despite the fact that it made me uneasy. I missed the possibility of you biting me, the possibility of you kissing me."
Her nostrils flared as she breathed deeply, tightening her hold around me. There wasn't even a hint of brown around her eyes, but I knew it was more because of the intense emotions that I was giving off and not because she was losing control again.
"I missed the possibility of you ever touching me again." I shifted anxiously where I stood and Ivy leaned forward, warm lips pressing reassurance against my forehead. I leaned more heavily into her, staring at her neck and collarbone as I continued. "And then…it got worse," I admitted. "I started missing your touch, because that was all you had really taken away. You still talked to me the same, you still protected me, the only thing that was really missing was the way you would touch me sometimes and I missed it, Ivy. I really did."
She hummed in understanding, lips still firmly pressed to my forehead.
"Then somewhere along the way…I had also began to miss the opportunities you had extended to me time and time again to touch you back. I wanted to touch you, and I wanted you to touch me. That's why…" I licked my lips, feeling my face warm over as I thought back to how Ivy and I had been two seconds away from getting it on weeks ago when we had shared blood for the first time in over a year. "That's why when you bit me a couple of weeks ago, and when your hand moved up my stomach—" Ivy tensed, and I shook my head as I rubbed my hands up and down her back, silently reassuring her that she didn't need to feel weird about it, that I was acting just as weird that day. "That's why I didn't stop you," I told her. "I didn't want you to stop, even though at the time I didn't really know what the hell I was doing. But I had finally felt close to you again after months of feeling like there was this huge rift between us. I wanted it, Ivy, and I still do." I bit my lip. "I'm just scared. But I do want you."
Ivy pulled back to stared down at me, biting her lip in apprehension. "I wasn't sure whether or not you liked it—when I almost touched you that day," she clarified. "You didn't say anything about it, so I assumed—"
I shook my head, red curls brushing the side of my face as I smiled up at her. She looked so adorably cautious that it was both endearing and heartbreaking. My heart pounded beneath my breast in anxiety, the question of whether or not we could kiss right now on the tip of my tongue. But to the trained eye it was obvious that Ivy was still tense, the lines of her body drawn wire tight.
My eyes flickered to the clock on her nightstand to notice that it was well past midnight. "Ivy," I lamented. "You still haven't fed?"
Her hands roamed the expanse of my back with eager fingers as she shook her head.
My mind reeled at the amount of trust and devotion I saw in her gaze, as if I was the only person in the world who could feed her, as if she'd rather starve than to ask anyone else, even Glenn to give her blood. Without much thought, only overwhelming emotion for the vampire in her staring hungrily at me, I pulled away from Ivy and climbed atop her bed. Motions slightly jerky with nerves, I spun to lie back against her pillows. The scent of spice and incense washed over me, calming me somewhat. This was just Ivy, my partner in so many ways now, and I trusted her with me.
Slowly so as not to scare me, Ivy approached the side of the bed. My gaze dipped down to her chest that began to rise and fall with more exaggeration. She was getting turned on, and the fact that I still had that effect on her made my heart swell.
"Come here, Ivy," I murmured, patting the space beside me.
Her knee hit the mattress and I swallowed thickly as she descended onto the bed, hovering over me. Her gaze washed over my face, then down my neck, watching it work. She placed one arm on the other side of me and draped herself atop me. I inhaled sharply at the searing heat from her body that seeped into mine. She fit so perfectly on top of me, nuzzling my neck, licking like a starved kitten.
My head tipped back as I stared up at her ceiling, hands roving all along her back. She was so lean with sleek muscles that belied strength that I shuddered to think about.
"You give me this?" Ivy breathed, voice husky from hunger and arousal. She couldn't wait any longer, couldn't draw it out. She was strung up wire tight and I was the only one she would allow to sate her hunger until she was calm once more.
"I do, Ivy," I told her, moaning as she unconsciously shifted against me. "You know I do."
Her moan was muffled into my skin, and the next thing I felt was a sharp pain in my neck followed by overwhelming pleasure as the vamp saliva immediately kicked in.
"Ivy," I whined, caught off guard as I always was when we ended up like this.
She moaned her own enjoyment as she continued to pull from me. If it were possible, her fangs slipped further into me as Ivy moved to get closer. Her legs settled intimately between and I sighed when she brushed against me.
I lifted a hand to bury in her hair, grounding myself as I began to feel my aura slip from me. I could understand how non-vamps could find this scary. I probably would have to if I had no understanding, if Ivy's aura more than met mine halfway every single time. I could already feel it reaching for me, warm and pure, so very innocent.
Ivy pulled away and I whimpered piteously. "Ivy, don't stop," I pleaded, gripping the back of her hair.
"Rachel, I—fuck," she moaned into my neck. I clenched my thighs together around hers at the passion that lay behind that word. She licked up my neck. "You smell so good." She didn't even give me a chance to respond before she was sinking her teeth into me again and pulling.
My body pulled taut as our auras picked right back up where they left off, as if nothing had happened. I untangled our legs and wrapped mine around her in an attempt to be even closer. Her touch was feather light, curling a hand around my elbow and I groaned as Ivy bucked into me, looking for pressure that wasn't there.
Our auras merged just the tiniest bit more until they became one and my eyes clamped shut as a cascade of emotions rolled over me. Ivy, I realized immediately. I could feel everything, her overwhelming need for me to accept her for the woman and vampire she was. Her need to protect me, even risk her life for me, and the soul shattering love and respect that had been growing within her this entire time.
When she sighed languidly against me, I knew she could feel my love for her, too. She could feel that after all these years I could finally match every raw emotion she felt for me. I needed her, desperately. She could feel it, and I could feel happiness wash through me—Ivy's happiness.
"Ivy," I sobbed when she pulled out. With a gasp, she collapsed on top of me and I wrapped her in my arms.
