A/N:
First: So sorry for the delay. In the meantime me and my proofreader drifted apart and I'm posting this chapter after trying my best, but also I'm sorry for any mistakes I might've made, English is not my native language.
Second: Many thanks to those who favourited and followed this story and to those who still want to read it.
-In the first half of this chapter Grell recalls the time spent with Madam Red. It's a bit of a reoccurring theme since the story takes place after the Jack the Ripper Arc and Grell will unconsciously seek parallels/differences between Madam and Ronald.-
Chapter IX
The Evil Within
The next day confirmed my beliefs that a part of my life changed. A change that I wasn't prepared for at all. Yeah, yeah Will, you can brag all you want about the evening classes, a qualification course. But let's be honest, I was so used to do my job alone all these years, that I felt it was some kind of intrusion into my daily routine.
Though it's not like I didn't experience a companionship before. The most intense and close came from the unfulfilling person - Madam Red. But that was in a different circumstances. As I think about it, I've always referred to her as Madam and never Angelina. We were close enough to call each other by the first name and she did that, but me? Never. I've separated Madam Red and Angelina Dalles in my mind so clearly that it was terrifying. Now I see it.
Angelina was an ordinary woman, one of the thousands of other souls I've collected over the years. Like Charon I've helped them to cross the river Styx. Out of duty, out of must. Why should I bother to know them more if I already knew what they were like? Angelina would be afraid to walk home alone late at night and wouldn't be able to defend herself from a man. Angelina would tell the others that women and young girls should act and dress like a ladies. So later she chastened me with the words, "Silly Grell, you can't go to the party with us dressed as a lady. Ciel is a child, but you have a body of a man and who would be my butler then?" Angelina wanted to bake cookies for Ciel, even if the cook could do it. Angelina would be visiting Ciel, sometimes with me, sometimes without, because she cared about the boy as if he was her own. Which she didn't dare admit to my face and probably to even herself. In fact, she hardly paid attention to me when she was with that brat. I realized that I've started to become invisible to her the more time she spent around him. Angelina had a soft spot in her heart filled with melancholy and followed the social etiquette. Angelina was someone I despised.
Madam, on the other side, was anything that I associated with the colour red: bravery, impulsiveness, confidence, boldness, strength, readiness to break any rule. Madam was a doctor, as skilled as any other man in her field, sometimes even more. Madam could be as ruthless and cold as William, such a strong character. She would explain all the anatomy curiosities to me in a calm manner just over the still living body of her next victim. Organs, arteries, intestines... Uterus.
("Why are you cutting it out of her?")
("It's my trademark! You saw how much effort it took to cut it out so perfectly. It's important. Yes, that's all they have. And we are taking it! PUNISHING THEM!")
However, the Madam's character was also evolving, changing. Over time she was falling more and more into her odd mood. It was like falling into a deep, black well, one that has a long way back. One that's shredded with slimy stones, full of stale air and water filled with little, rotting animals. At that time her creepy laughter would echo on the empty streets or among the dirty walls in the East End. The eyes empty, glistening, only proved she was further and further away from any sanity. The profanities she spat into the face of her victims would make cringe and put to shame any man.
("What are you waiting for?!")
(I squashed the heart, ripped out of one of the whores, in my hand and it burst out full of fresh blood. Myriads of droplets sprinkled the air. It looked as if someone popped a balloon filled with red water. Blood was everywhere. Madam was ecstatic, her laughter for a while subdued due to an odd heavy breathing, like she run a mile without a stop, her eyeballs rolled up to show only whites. But then she came back into her semi-normal state and was laughing like a child that got a Christmas present, clapping with her hands. Somehow her merriness influenced me too, and I started to laugh along with her. The limp bits of the heart still hung from my gloved hand as I tried to shake them off, they simply wouldn't fall, being sticky like a glue, it made me chuckle even more.)
With her it felt like a sharing some internal joke, one that only a best friend can understand. Then and many times later I felt a sense of belonging. It didn't differ from inviting me to play poker, taste a new cake she bought or ordered to do or check out a new collection of dresses from Paris. An activity that linked us more, the nights spent in a hurry, filled with blood and the muffled screams of the women she hunted. Even if I wanted to back out I couldn't. And to tell the truth, I didn't want to. Though at times her mood put me into consternation.
("See? She doesn't have enough. What a dirty slut!" She slapped the girl that was laying on the floor, tied up.)
(The victim only slightly whimpered, being muffled by the cloth that concealed her mouth. Blue eyes immediately watered, leaking a few tears as a red, stinging mark of the Madam's hand showed on the deathly white cheek.)
("You know what? We should be merciful this time. She looks like she didn't live through many springs yet, she can enjoy her last moment.")
(I just nodded, not taking my eyes off of the young, blue-eyed girl. I've waited for Madam to start the play and hardly focused on what she said.)
At times, when she was in her special mood, she spat out some gibberish or nonsense, silly rhymes like "Jack and Jill went over the hill..." I learned to filter it out and focus on the actions. However, this time she had a specific thing in mind.
("Come on, give her some pleasure!" She tugged at my arm.)
(When I didn't react the way she wanted, she pulled me stronger.)
("Are you a man or not?!")
(Before I knew I was dragged and landed on the poor girl. Her eyes focused on mine, widened with sudden realization. The body so feeble with soft, milky skin that contrasted highly with delicate trails of blood marking the ways of the Madam's knife. The preparations she made. The girl's round breasts lifted up and down with every heavy breath she took because of my weight on her.)
(Madam patted my back and whispered, "Just a quick one... she craves it~")
(My hand slipped on the undressed girl's stomach, and I felt, despite the coldness of the skin and air around, that she was warm inside. Though when I glanced at Madam, I saw something, an existence in her eyes, I wanted to ignore later on, no matter the evidence. Her red irises changed the look when she was in her manic state, I knew how they looked when she was sad, overwhelmed by melancholy, or when she was genuinely happy. I knew it all. Or so I thought. The way she was watching me now, "the thing" I saw in her eyes, was nothing I saw before. It looked as something ugly and disgusting came out of the sewer of her mind and crawled to the surface to enjoy a brief show. Intelligent, calculating, appealing to the basic desires of a beast. And that "thing" was just in front of my face, observing, her hot breath fogged my glasses as our noses were almost touching. It felt like ages but she didn't blink. The twisted smile was like saying without words: Go on, I know you want it too. Do it the way and as long as you desire, every time. Every, every, every...)
("No!" I screamed in her face with disgust and with the hand closest to her I pushed her back, sliding off the girl's body in the process.)
(Madam landed almost under the opposite wall, I had no idea how much strength I used. After all, a human body is no comparison to a Shinigami's. A leaf in a wind.)
("Fuck off," I growled. "I'm not like her.")
(For a moment Madam looked like she had no idea what happened, but soon started to giggle. Even pointed at me with her finger and then doubled over with a muffled laughter. If this was supposed to be one of the internal jokes then I didn't get it.)
("The thing" in her eyes appeared again that evening only once when she cut deeply the throat of the girl, the blade bounced on the vertebra under the tissues, to start the real work.)
(She put one of the surgical tools in my hand and said, "Well then, you can at least learn something new, to try out and play with the friends from your world later on.")
(The look of her red irises was predatory and my work with the scalpel messy.)
Another time I remember, it was dead of night, I slept in one of the guest bedrooms in the Madam's Manor. The evening before it we had much fun, doing things that two close female friends, sisters, can do, the merry atmosphere was propped up by enough amount of good wine. Though Madam was too excited at times.
(I woke up with her standing above me, still in the dress from the evening, with a knife in her hand. The pale moonlight slithered through the strands of her hair, some being out of place, unmoving features and reflected in the eyes that were alive with something that came out of that depth again.)
(She must've realized I wasn't sleeping anymore because she started to speak, though with difficulty, "Grell... M' hungry.")
(Ugh, I wasn't content with being woken up so late, I wanted to sleep goddamnit! "Go, get a sandwich then!" I barked and snuggled my pillow again.)
(The words flowed in the air again with the same difficulty, "I... can't. We have to go. Punish them.")
(My eyes flew open, she was still staring at me, not blinking. That "thing" in the eyes was still there and I knew it wouldn't go away until it'll be satisfied. Something told me if it won't be blood and gore from someone else, it'll get it from me. Like a drug addict. The little finger of the hand that held the blade was moving in some odd tick. For some time already, I never left my scythe unattended around her.)
(When we were done with her night escapade, and I was sure as hell I wouldn't go back to sleep, she didn't run in a hurry after finishing with the body as she used to. Instead, she packed some of the cut out organs to the medical bag she took from home.)
("What are you doing?")
("You'll see," she replied with an eerie smile.)
Later I learned that she sent a letter to the chairman of the Whitechapel Vigilance Committee along with half of a preserved human kidney. The letter started with words: From hell.*
A place she was in since the deaths of her husband and the Phantomhives. Her own personal hell in mind, one, that I was made a part of. Yet, I was never meant to be her Virgil and she a Dante, to follow through the nine circles of Inferno together.*
In the letter was stated that the other half of the kidney was eaten. When I asked her about it, she fended off it as a joke and that she doesn't quite remember. I wanted to believe it was the truth. I really did, despite what I saw in her eyes.
She was a sinking ship, a lantern in the dark that attracted lonely moths. I almost didn't burn along with her flame.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The curse of humanity depends on the fact that two contrary natures are together forever united; that in the depths of the tormented conscience must roll tragic, endless battles.
Though I was sure that my cooperation with young Ronald won't be anything like that. Probably for the better. That kind of relationship which leave a mark in your mind happens very rarely. As the time goes the more dreadful, hurting parts are washed away and sometimes a thing, a scent or an object, can bring out a memory that was forgotten. As if some meticulous cleaner forgot to throw out that little paper crumble and you stumble upon it. You start to cherish the mementos that were left, linking it to some idea you thought everyone believed. The things become symbolic.
I wrapped the red coat around me closely as the wind whispered on the alley in front of the Dispatch building. Outside, in the late afternoon, waiting for Ronald to show up, I looked at the sky, admiring its beauty. It had a unique color, the puffy clouds were roseate with a slight tint of green, their pastel colors were completed with azure behind, near the horizon changing to grey. The depth of it was incredible, I felt so small compared to the immense firmament.
"Sorry I'm late, Senpai."
I glanced at Ronald who just came through the double door. He didn't seem as someone who is concerned about being late. The carefully styled hair, ironed shirt and polished white shoes, no sign of quickened breathing. It was sure he didn't come running here.
"Something hold you back? You know it's not polite to keep a lady waiting," I asked casually.
Ronald shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. "What are we going to do today, Senpai?"
"Well, I thought I should see how good you are with wielding your scythe."
"Um- to be honest, I'm not the best at fighting... heh. Maybe we could do something else?"
"You managed to finish the Academy, surely it can't be that bad, or are you afraid of getting dirty? Come with me."
We went behind the main building. Its shadow covered whole rectangular 160 yards long and 100 yards wide field, free from any grass, only deep brown ground. It was often used for training... or a midnight party. Although the training hall had a full obstacle course, this was enough. No one would bother us.
"Good. Where' your Death Scythe?"
The blond summoned his weapon - the lawnmower.
"Interesting... You modified it?"
"Yes, also I know one girl in the General Affairs, so I didn't have a problem with registering it." The boy grinned proudly.
I couldn't help but chuckle. What a smart kid. He used his charm to get what he wanted. Yet now, I was only beginning to see why they assigned Ronald to me.
"You know, not many actually can appreciate the effectiveness of involving mechanics into the reaping of souls."
"Yeah, this scythe was made to be useful and nothing less. Plus, I don't have to walk by foot, it gets me almost anywhere I want to."
I nodded. "Nice. Now, we will have a small duel. Get ready." Summoning my chainsaw, I shouted, "Go!"
Both weapons roared to life. Ronald hopped onto his lawnmower to move and get some distance. Without prolonging I attacked first. A bright firework of sparks accompanied clashing of our scythes, confirming the old rule that a scythe can't cut through another one. We backed out and I dashed forward, swinging the chainsaw at the boy's side who barely managed to duck.
Actually, I didn't want to appear demanding, but I couldn't make this fight too easy. He needs to get used to his new weapon fast. To the noise it makes, to its limitations and advantages. Only this skill will save his life later on, not a good mark on an ethics test.
Next attack started Ronald, he went in my direction, though missing completely, turned mid-air and rode on his lawnmower landing near me. Obviously I was quick enough to avoid the collision.
"That was a good one, Ronnie."
The boy smiled and run straight at me again, but I jumped on top of Ronald's scythe and hit him in the back with a handle of my weapon. The blond doubled over and fell to the ground with a cloud of dust, the lawnmower went silent a few feet away.
"But you have to be more watchful."
"Yeah, I - s'ppose so," Ronald coughed, brushing dirt from his suit as he got up. "You're a good fighter, Senpai. I see you too have a modified scythe."
"Yes, I've spend a lot of time on that baby. There is no better sound that this piece of art coming to life~" I affectionately patted my chainsaw. "You know, everyone dies, so it's the style that counts in collecting souls."
Ronald smiled slightly. "If I may know, what grade you had from practical skills, Senpai?"
"Hmm, I don't want to appear as overconfident, but I had triple A's."
His eyes went wide. "Holy shit! Seriously?"
"Why would I lie, sweetie? In fact, you can go ask Will, he will confirm."
"No, I believe you. But really, a triple A's, no one in my year had that grade. I even doubt our professor could have one."
I smiled mischievously. "You know, I could tell you more, but promise you won't tell anyone."
"Sure, my lips are sealed." The boy made a gesture of zipping his mouth.
I chuckled. "Well, William only had B."
"No way!"
"But it's true!" I giggled.
"That is incredible, Senpai. I'm glad of having you as my mentor. I bet I will learn a lot under you." A moment after his eyes went wide. "That's not what I meant."
I raised my brows. "No, no, do continue," I replied purposely in a sweet voice, index finger rubbing my chin.
"Sorry, I just talk too fast sometimes, he he. I meant under your care- ...I, no... Uh." He looked flustered and rubbed the back of his head.
"Aw, don't be shy." I felt I couldn't stop now. This was too easy. "Actually, I think it's kinda cute to have a crush on your mentor."
"No! Uhm- That was just a slip of the tongue. Nothing more." His eyes were getting wider the closer I was moving to him.
"You sure?" Outwardly I was grinning but on the inside, I was just rolling with laughter. It took all of my willpower to keep it inside. "Don't deny it. It's only natural you know; a young boy and a pretty, very skilled lady. I could teach you a few things~"
He just shook his head and started to back out. The light flush that appeared on his cheeks was getting stronger with every second. Suddenly he toppled to the ground as he stumbled over his own discarded lawnmower.
I snorted with laughter. Oh my... But as I watched him struggle to get up, my mind decided to reprimand me. Calm down, Grell. Have some decorum, this kid is scared to death!
After taking a deep breath to compose myself, I said, "It's all right. I know my charms are hard to resist. But I usually don't leap at any pretty guy I see~"
Ronald just eyed me suspiciously as if I told him the most obvious lie ever. He picked up his scythe to hide behind it.
I sighed, seeing he needed my assertion. "Look, I'm not interested in children. So don't get your hopes up." Then I inspected my gloves in a quick motion as if they needed an immediate attention.
The boy merely nodded his head. "Riiight. Good to know."
Okay, had my fun, time to get back to work. "Let's go to see Will. He's going to grumble all day if we won't show up."
We went inside the Dispatch building. After crossing the main hall and turning in the second corridor to the left, we entered the elevator.
Its beautiful interior was made from dark walnut and had a huge mirror hanging on the back wall. Out of habit I studied my reflection, fingers glided through the a little bit of a ruffled hair on the top of my head, but everything seemed all right. However, just in case, I took out from my coat's pocket a red lipstick. And as I was concentrating on my lips, my sight ventured to the left where Ronald stood. With an unreadable expression and slightly furrowed brows, he observed me intensively. Playfully I turned around to show him my best-mustered grin and snapped my teeth as if insinuating to bite him. He flinched, looking surprised, but bravely smiled back. Suddenly the elevator stopped and its door opened, signalling we were on the desired floor.
"Good. You are finally here," William said, going through the papers on the desk. "You must go again to the Gaunt Manor, Sutcliff. There is planned another death today at night. You can decide if you want to bring Mr. Knox with you."
"Why I shouldn't go?" the boy asked immediately, looking concerned.
"Because there is a serious assumption of high demon activity. It might be dangerous for a young Reaper, you will be more of a trouble than help."
"I don't see why he shouldn't go with me. He has to learn that not every collection will be easy," I countered.
"I hope you know what you are doing. Mr. Humphries won't be helping you, he's bedridden with sickness. You need to get to the bottom of this."
"So you are saying that things are going to be interesting~?"
"I'm saying that if someone decided to steal another soul there, they started to be careless. I don't believe that the person in question doesn't realize, that missing souls won't bring attention from our department. You should be careful, Sutcliff."
"Ah, Will. Are you worried about my safety~?" I cooed and put a hand to my cheek in a surprised manner.
"I want this case solved. Honestly though, we cannot afford to lose an officer, we are already understaffed. Mr. Knox should help us with the collections for a longer while."
"Yes, yes, you want to hide your worry with overtime. Wait-What? Knox?"
William raised a mocking brow. "Yes. Don't come back without him if you still want to work here."
I chuckled at his response. "Darling, you're cold as always but that only ignites my passion even more. Besides, your eyes cannot deceive me, I know you're worried about me too. If anything, who would you send after those pesky demons, hm?"
William reached to the bridge of his glasses. "I would find someone."
"Sure. But not as good as me."
Despite the silence on Will's part we both knew I was telling the truth.
"If it's a demon you can count on me that I will paint him in the most beautiful color in the world - red!"
After the conversation we left, to explain the unexplained.
A/N:
*The "From Hell" letter is a letter that was posted in 1888, along with half a human kidney, by a person who claimed to be the serial killer known as Jack the Ripper.
*Inferno (Italian for "Hell") is the first part of Dante Alighieri's 14th-century epic poem "Divine Comedy". It tells the journey of Dante through Hell, guided by the ancient Roman poet Virgil.
