Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Watashi wa naruto o shoyū shite imasen.

No soy dueño de Naruto.

Je ne possède pas Naruto. There. We clear on that, buddy?

Chapter 9: Quiktrip Hot Dogs Get Me Going

Broken Tools

X.X.X.

(Naruto's Mind)

Splish slpash.

"Stop."

Splash splish.

"Stop."

Splish splash splashity splish.

"Don't you have something better to do than to annoy me?"

Splash, "Hmm, let me think about it..."

...

...

Splash.

"I WILL END YOU, BOY!" The mighty Kyuubi roared as he rammed against the cage keeping him trapped within this infernal excuse for a child. Kami, why couldn't he have just keeled over and kicked the bucket when the bearded human handed him his ass the first time? Sure he would've died as well, but the great thing about being a somewhat immortal being is that he would've came back eventually.

But nooo, somebody thought it was a great idea to pull him out of his first container just to stick him into another fucking container within the same night! Then this container, unlike the last one, actually wanted to interact with the gigantic fox.

Why?

He was a giant fox, this was a little boy. There was literally nothing that they even had in common due to the fact that they were two completely different species to begin with.

Maybe they had a small semblance of common ground due to the fact that they've both killed people, but other than that there was nothing.

But that didn't stop the boy at all. Ever since that night when the Kyuubi first made it's presence known and established, it had the effect that he wanted somewhat, but with unforseen complications.

He originally planned to establish a sort of rapport with the boy and dangle the ridiculous amount of power at his disposal in front of the boy in order to entice him into using his chakra more. Once the boy became overly dependent on his power, he'd eventually goad the brat into using too much at once so that the seal could weaken and he could escape. The meat sack would die, but oh well.

He got to be free again and that's all that matters.

Win for him.

That plan was shot straight to shit when the boy looked him directly in the eyes and told him that his chakra wasn't necessary for now.

The nerve of this pathetic little meat sack, who does he think he is? If a being with unparalleled, unfathomable amounts of power offered you even half of a percent of it, the average person would bend over backwards in their attempts the take a grab at it. This little shit on the other hand just flipped that whole notion upside down and jackhammered it into the ground.

Maybe this was just a ruse. Maybe he was biding his time, waiting. Waiting on the opportunity to usurp control over his chakra and take it all for himself. Humans were always cunning little disgusting creatures.

"If I stay in here for a long time, will I have to use the restroom? Is there a toilet somewhere? I'd hate to sit and splash around in poop water."

... Cunning? Maybe not this one.

Disgusting? Definitely so.

This was the daily routine every time the boy got the chance to meditate or he fell asleep. After they all got settled in yesterday, him and the rest of his merry band of annoyances began to conspire against their sword wielding enemies. Eventually they realized that all of the younger ningens were behind in terms of chakra control, so they trained relentlessly in trying to climb trees and whatnot with their chakra.

That brought back some memories of the idiot splashing around in the water in front of him pestering him with asinine questions after he read one of his scrolls.

X.X.X.

(Flashback)

"Hey furball, can you climb things with your chakra?"

The Kyuubi deadpanned. How idiotic could his human prison be?

"I want you to take a break from being retarded for five minutes and look at me." The Kyuubi groaned, hoping that Naruto wasn't touched enough to forget about the fact that the Kyuubi was one of the largest, if not the largest, beings walking the planet.

What the hell could he even have to climb? He towered over everything.

Naruto nodded in acknowledgement of the order, looking the gargantuan incarnation of pure malice and bloodlust up and down several times with his hand cupping his chin. Eyes squinted, he gazed for several more seconds before coming to a sage like conclusion, "You're a really big fox."

The glare that the Kyuubi leveled onto the child was so heated that it could melt steel beams, "... How in the hell do you qualify to be a ninja? I could have sworn that you pathetic humans needed to pass an intelligence test at least."

Naruto kept his squinted facade in play, yet rolled around in uncontrollable laughter on the inside. You would think that anyone or anything that knew of Naruto's past, especially the one being in the world that's literally been there with him since day one, would remember the fact that he was raised by a S ranked genius and his medical prodigy of a protege, but nope. Everyone always overlooked that fact, which allowed Naruto to assume the 'dumber than a bag of hot sand' routine.

Why show off another aspect of his personality when he could just annoy somebody to the point of insanity? Why display the maturity he was forced to develop in order to cope with his early surroundings when he could assume the role of an overly eccentric child who purposely antagonized people just to get a chuckle?

That's why he's spent the last thirty minutes splashing around in the water that covered the floor in his mind scape. It pissed the massive creature off, and there was nothing better to do while he slept.

Who needed dreams when you had a malevolent entity in your head that you could harass?

Splish splash.

CLANG!

CLANG!

"JUST ONE! ONE CHANCE OF CONTACT IS ALL I NEED TO FIND SOME SEMBLANCE OF HAPPINESS IN MY MISERABLE LIFE!" The Kyuubi bellowed as he rammed his furry body into the gate that kept him at bay, stopping to stretch his powerful arms through the bars in an attempt to gouge the bane of his existence. His efforts, while completely justified in his non biased opinion, fell short as his claws stopped a few mere feet from the source of his misery.

He almost had a stroke when the boy looked at his claws that couldn't reach him, shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, and splashed even more water onto the supreme entity's oversized fingernails with a shit eating grin.

"You still haven't answered my question... Hey, how about another one?" Naruto pointed out, ignoring the hands that could destroy a man with a pat on the back trying their hardest to kill him.

"That. Was. Another. One." The Kyuubi growled through clenched teeth, wishing that he had the ability to cause things to spontaneously combust with his eyesight. Maybe he should look into it when the blond brat wasn't here trying to drive him to suicide.

"Do you know where babies come from?"

"From the deepest, most horrifying pits of hell, just like where you came from."

"So I'm a natural born hell raiser? Hell yes!" Was the highly infuriating response, complete with a victorious fist pump.

"... Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Do you have a cliff nearby that you can jump off of headfirst? I'll heal you right after, I promise." Kyuubi pleaded, showing his hands off to give evidence that he wasn't trying to be underhanded and cross his fingers.

Good thing the little shit couldn't see his two tails crossed behind his back. He was a fox, after all. Crafty was a part of his nature.

"Sure, I'll go jump off of a cliff just for you buddy!" Naruto proclaimed sarcastically, knowing that the larger mammal in the room had at least two tails crossed out of sight.

"The sooner the better."

"Now why would I wanna rush ahead to my death before our friendship develops?" What the actual hell, did he just say friendship?

He just had to be short of a few brain cells, "What did you just call our relationship?" The Kyuubi asked as he lowered himself down to stare the puny human directly in the eye. There's no way that this insignificant being could be serious.

Naruto shrugged as he flashed a grin, "Glad to know that you acknowledge that we have a relationship as well."

"All of my hate!"

"Love you too furball. But I called it a friendship." Why couldn't it be? If what Naruto could remember from studying under Orochimaru was correct, it was guaranteed that Kyuubi and Naruto were in this thing for the long run. Jinchuuriki were created with the sole purpose to keep a biju from running amok for an extended amount of time.

There were the other more military inclined purposes as well, but those go without saying.

So with that in mind, why try to be hostile towards each other for the rest of Naruto's longer than average lifetime? Well, it was more of Kyuubi providing the warm, tense, hostility that they all knew and loved than Naruto, but maybe them being friends could at least turn it into friendly hostility. You know, the thing him and Sasuke had going for them.

"Are you dense in the head boy?"

"Probably, I do have harder bones than the average human being due to my kekkei genkai." He answered truthfully, knowingly adding fuel to the fire that was the Kyuubi's legendary ire. Sometimes it was just too easy.

This was officially unbearable. A human trying to play the 'let's be friends' angle just to take his power from him? Kami, what kind of deity decided that intertwining their strings of fate was a good idea?

It wasn't something to completely lose his shit over though. There was always a silver lining in every gray cloud, he just had to be patient and wait for his opportunity.

His time would come, he would escape and crush this whelp in between his fingertips, then go run off and find one of his siblings or something.

All in due time.

"Hey, do you have a penis or a vagina? Better yet, are you a hermaphrodite?" Naruto inquired, a healthly look of scientific curiosity on his face that bared a striking resemblance to Orochimaru and Kabuto's expressions when they were studying or experimenting.

... That due time really needed to hurry the hell up.

X.X.X.

(End Flashback)

Naruto noticed the distracted look on the Kyuubi's visage, "Hey furball, what are you thinking about?" He looked like he was really into whatever he was thinking about, so Naruto wanted to know about him. Call him nosy, but he was being robbed of entertainment since the fox's mind was elsewhere.

Hearing something other than water being splashed shook the Kyuubi out of his inner remembrance of earlier interactions with Naruto, causing him to cast a gaze of indifference onto the child, "None of your business, ningen." He answered as he laid down, attempting to go to sleep and ignore the unwanted visitor.

His plans were interrupted once Naruto opened his mouth again, but surprisingly with a non idiotic question, "Oi, why are you always so mad?" Naruto's never been around somebody this cranky. Sure, Sasuke could qualify as the neighborhood grouch with his stunted people skills, but the Kyuubi might as well be known as the grouch of the whole world!

Cracking an eye open that surprisingly didn't hold as much malice as usual, the Kyuubi snorted, "It's all a part of who I am and what I'm about, boy. Stop trying to fish for information, because you're not going to get it." He growled lowly, closing his eye momentarily before opening it again, this time with a sinister smirk in place, "But let's talk about how you scared the pants off of that whining brat at the bridge builder's house. That was pretty entertaining..."

Naruto scowled at that reminder. After they went hard at learning how to climb trees, with Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru eventually getting it right on the first day, they all reported back to Tazuna's house to wind down and rest with some dinner.

Dinner was great. Jokes and playful barbs were being exchanged back and forth, Sasuke tried his hardest, yet failed miserably, to keep Sakura and Ino at bay, and Kakashi got yelled at for reading what Naruto assumed to be porn at the dinner table.

Naruto also learned that Kiba and Akamaru were there instead of Choji due to Choji having some important clan related business to attend to.

Yeah, dinner was great, up until Tsunami's son told them that they were all gonna die, there was no point in pretending to be strong enough to stand against Gato, the evil money grubbing midget that had their country by the balls. Naruto was easily able to just ignore it since he was a civilian kid who had no idea of what even genin were capable of against a standing force of a bunch of grown men with little to no shinobi training.

Easily ignorable up until the brat had the audacity to claim that they didn't know what it was like to lose somebody important to them.

In order to avoid maiming the poor boy due to his rising anger, Naruto just stormed out of the house, unconsciously flaring enough intent to make the cynical child shake in his boots. Once he got a good distance away, he made about an army of clones and proceeded to go to town in a no holds barred fight, going for as long as he could until he burned himself out.

Crossing his arms in contempt, Naruto shook his head, "I'd rather not." That seriously left a bad taste in his mouth.

The Kyuubi chuckled at the blond's disdain for the previous events that he underwent. Nothing like a good old reminder of something that bothers you.

Pausing in his deep voiced laughter, he shifted his eyes upwards and to the side momentarily before glancing back down at Naruto, "I think you have company, brat. Try not to die."

X.X.X

(Outside of Naruto's Mind)

Haku strolled along at a leisurely pace as she observed the forest around her, the early morning sunrise providing a calming background light to her activities. She observed the local wildlife go about their daily routines, noticed the early morning dew that covered the plants, and listened to the birds engage in their harmonious chirping.

Eventually after walking around and gathering the various forms of plants that she needed to create her ointments for Zabuza-sama, she happened to come across a clearing that was absolutely devastated.

Trees were dented severely to the point where some of them were split in half, the upper halves leaning down towards the ground.

Small craters were defined in the forest floor.

Numerous slash marks and gouges populated the miniature war zone, with several areas having a tight cluster of deep holes within them.

She idly wondered what could have been responsible for such destruction before spying a possible cause. Leaning against a tree while seated in the lotus position, a boy probably younger than her with blond hair, black button down shirt, and black cargos and boots slept peacefully on the outer edge of the decimated clearing. At first she wondered why he was sleeping out here, believing him to be a civilian, but then steeled her features once she noticed the Konoha headband tied around his bicep.

"He couldn't be the cause of all of this destruction... could he?" She mused as she carefully advanced towards him. It was obvious that the previous contingent from Konoha sent for backup since this one wasn't there the first encounter, so with that in mind it was a smart decision to thin the ranks.

She idly wondered if this was that mystery genin that Jinpachi kept ranting about, and instantly doubled the amount of caution that she was exercising. No need to tread lightly around a jinchuuriki that killed someone on her master's level.

Finally reaching her intended target, she set her basket down without any noise before leading her arms forward in an attempt to strangle her potential enemy. She bit back a gasp when his eyes instantly opened and he grabbed her by both of her wrists with surprising speed.

"Hey there, how's it hanging?" He casually asked, not paying attention to the fact that he had her wrists in a vice grip. His calm smile was also unnerving the ice oriented kunoichi.

Did she make a potentially fatal mistake?

"Hello, could you please loosen up on the grip? You're hurting me." Haku pleaded, deciding to not let things escalate. The best way to do that was to not present herself as a threat. Sure she had several hidden caches of senbon on her person, but it was clear that he was he superior in terms of strength. Maybe he could contest with her in speed, but now was not the time to test that theory. He had her dead to rights.

Shaking his head and smacking his lips several times to shake off the early morning drowsiness, he juggled the pros and cons of letting the beautiful girl in front of him go. On one hand, she didn't seem like she meant any harm, and her appearance didn't really scream 'I'm here to kill you'.

But on the other hand, she was obviously a shinobi. No civilian in their right mind would approach an area this torn up. No civilian in their right mind would attempt to awake a sleeping shinobi in the middle of an area like this by getting that close.

Naruto learned a lot of things under Orochimaru, and one of those things was how to read body language and how to spot the tell tale signs that differentiated ordinary people and shinobi. Her build, while not really advertising a traditional kunoichi build, was clearly one suited for speed and dexterity that a regular human being couldn't achieve.

He wasn't a fool. He didn't know what Zabuza's body looked like, but he knew his face from memorizing the bingo books back in the day. This wasn't Zabuza, and it damn sure wasn't that bearded bastard that he planned on killing.

With this in mind, there was only one person that this could be.

... Who, nobody except for Zabuza and Jinpachi knew. But it was clear to the jinchuuriki that this was their mystery assailant. Shikamaru may have been the smartest with the iq, but Naruto did know a thing or two...

"Hmm... so if I let you go, can we sit here and talk without trying to kill one another?" He asked, squinting his eyes at his potential opponent. He didn't let go of her wrists in case she made any sudden movements so he had a chance to cripple her off the bat.

Inwardly frowning at that question, Haku just sat down in lotus in front of him, "Now why would we try to kill each other, ninja-san? What would you gain by killing a civilian boy like me?"

He deadpanned, "Stop lying, you're not a girl. And as for what I'd have to gain, I could get rid of the mystery ally of Zabuza Momochi and Jinpachi Munashi right now. A little preemptive thinning of the ranks, so to speak." He calmly explained, continuing to squint and smile pleasantly at the girl.

Shit.

Haku snatched one hand out of his grip, instantly flying through hand seals with her one free hand, shocking the boy who kept his grip tight on her other wrist, "Sensatsu Suishō (Thousand Flying Water Needles Of Death)!" All of the moisture in the surrounding area rose up into the air, taking on the form of a large amount of frozen needles, all aimed directly at Naruto.

Haku let out a scream of pain once Naruto pierced her wrist with sharp, jagged bones, before leaping straight up to avoid being surrounded. Utilizing his newfound chakra climbing abilities, he posted up on the tree that he slept against and watched in fascination as the needles previously meant for him relentlessly peppered the area he was once situated in. He noticed Haku hop away from the area too, holding a basket full of plants and other things, "You're not getting away!" He roared determinedly, rocketing towards the injured girl.

The fucked up wrist wasn't enough to keep her out of the game, and she made that known by completing a single hand seal.

"Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique)." She calmly stated just as Naruto touched down in front of her, fists clenched with small, yet pointed bones protruding out from his knuckles. He threw a punch but clicked his teeth when Haku dodged it and slipped into the thickening mist that was beginning to overcome the clearing. "Shit!" He cursed as he took to the trees, wanting to avoid being on the ground level. He couldn't even see his own two hands, so why be down there where the possibility of being blindsided was significantly higher?

Scanning the ground, he lowly growled before creating five clones, "Fan out and go in different directions just in case she's trying to follow me. If she comes after you, do your best to either kill her or slow her down." Orders being set in stone, Naruto took off at speed in the direction of Tazuna's house, not noticing the figure on the ground shadowing him. The clones all took off in different directions, only to all be taken out by well placed needles to vital spots.

Landing on the branch that Naruto previously departed from, Haku cursed at letting him get away. At least she managed to eliminate the clones and send a clone of her own after him.

Now all she had to do was get back to her allies and inform them of the new developments taking place on the enemies' side.

X.X.X.

(Fifteen Minutes Later, Zabuza's Hideout)

"So you managed to keep the brat from taking Nuibari, huh?" Zabuza asked in a conversational tone, his newly restored Kubikiribocho propped up beside his seat. Until Haku got back with the supplies and healed him up, Zabuza couldn't really do anything overly physical lest he agitate the wound further.

So for now, he was stuck just hanging around their current base of operations. It was a little hut settled on one of the taller, sturdier trees all the way in the woods, a really out of the way abode.

Displaying the needle like sword, Jinpachi momentarily frowned, "Yeah, had to go back and get it after I thought I killed that jinchuuriki... I refuse to let someone who isn't a swordsman like us to even touch the blades unless they're getting killed by it." For a non Swordsman of the Mist to take a weapon of theirs... it was the most disrespectful thing Jinpachi could ever think of. He's seen and experienced some disrespectful things, but seeing that brat with the sheer audacity to try to grab Nuibari...

It pissed him off even more than the time when Kushimaru and Kisame held him down and dyed his hair pink, and he was seeing red for weeks due to that incident.

Zabuza whistled at that statement, getting out of his seat to go grab something from the kitchen, "Crazy. I'm still wondering about how tough was that kid to make you leave. To be honest, I don't know how I'd even handle something like that..." Zabuza was more of an assassin than a heavy duty combatant, so going toe to toe with a jinchuuriki like that wasn't an ideal match up for him.

"Whatever you do, taijutsu is an absolute no no unless completely necessary. And by necessary, I mean you're putting hands on him to kick his ass away from you as far as possible." Jinpachi helpfully informed, stroking his beard in thought, "Maybe chop his head off. Or once he goes all biju mode, throw up a Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique) and chop his head off while he can't see you... that's if you ever run into him." He concluded, fishing around through his belongings as Zabuza returned from the kitchen.

Zabuza quirked a non existent eyebrow at the black book that he caught, "A new black book?" He inquired, flipping through the pages before coming to a stop on a certain page that was folded over.

"I put that brat in there. There isn't a picture of him, but I made sure to leave a vivid description. Something that dangerous is something that people need to know about..." Jinpachi informed him with a frown on his face.

Zabuza was interrupted from perusing the new entry by Haku barging into the room, her wrist bleeding and her breathing frantic, "The Konoha team sent for back up! Which means there's another jonin!" She exclaimed, setting the basket down beside her master. She pulled a roll of bandages out and began wrapping her wounded wrist.

"How do you know this, Haku?" Zabuza asked sternly, subtly inspecting her wrist. Lots of puncture wounds, with all of the wounds themselves looking like someone stabbed her with a serrated edged blade.

Jinpachi noticed the wounds as well, mouth opening in disbelief, "It can't be..." It all made sense. One of the main joints on the body basically rendered useless due to what appeared to be numerous stab wounds...

A wrist being one of the easiest things to grab on a person, just like ankles...

Either he was grasping at straws here, or the jinchuuriki was here in Nami no Kuni!

"Girl, the person that did this to you... blond hair, blue eyes, pulls off all black nicely?" Jinpachi interrogated, finding his growing excitement at the possibility of murder hard to keep in check. If she said yes, he was going to be a very happy camper.

She nodded grimly, prompting Jinpachi to pull Shibuki out and spin around excitedly, "Yes! I get a chance to kill the kid again!" The fact that a grown man was this ecstatic about having an opportunity to slaughter a child should have been an immediate warning sign that he needed mental evaluations, but that wasn't a main priority at the moment.

No, the main priority was planning, figuring out what they were going to do now.

"Zabuza-sama, your thoughts?" Haku asked, currently fixing the ointments as quickly as possible since she was done attending to her wounds. Having one functioning wrist didn't slow her down at all. A slow, damaged tool was of no use for Zabuza-sama after all.

Eyeing his bandaged forearm, Zabuza cupped his chin as he thought about how this could play out.

Someone on the Konoha side has seen Haku and figured them out... Could they have trailed her back to the hideout?

"Haku... were you followed?"

She shook her head as she finished preparing the ointment, bringing the healing solution to her master. She unraveled his bandages, "No. I managed to send a clone of mine after him to scout out where they were located, though."

Shouldering his explosive tool of death, Jinpachi spared the only teenager in the room a curious gaze, "A clone? What kind of clone?" Damn, he was asking the wrong kind of questions.

"It doesn't matter what kind of clone it was, what matters is if it gets back here in one piece or not." Zabuza grunted, momentarily wincing once Haku started poking around the still relatively fresh cut on his arm.

As if Zabuza's words were some magical cue from Kami herself, an identical copy of Haku arrived, crouching down in front of Haku, "The house is about twenty minutes away from here. Travel north, and you won't miss it." The doppelganger reported.

"Did you manage to get a headcount?" Jinpachi warily asked, staring intently at the clone. Something about this Haku child wasn't adding up. Zabuza's reaction to his question about the nature of the clone wasn't helping quell his suspicions either.

He'd be keeping an eye out on her during the oncoming battle...

"There was the boy who harmed the original, another new one with spiky pineapple styled hair, and a bearded shinobi watching them train with the original team. From what I saw, it looked like they were climbing trees with their chakra."

"Spiky pineapple hair? Oh Kami! This is just fucking fantastic! All three of them are here!" Jinpachi gleefully squealed, disturbing the other two more and more. Just how bad was his first encounter with those kids?

Pacing back and forth, Jinpachi eventually stopped in front of the two normal people in the room, "Once she heals you up, I say we bum rush them."

"Why go for a bum rush?" Zabuza asked, not really being against the suggestion but wanting some solid convincing to go along with it.

"Simple. No doubt that the blond bitch is running back to tell everyone that he saw us, which will probably make them up their training and preparation. Instead of letting them have the time to let Kakashi recover all the way and plan accordingly, we rush in there, kill them and the bridge builder, then collect our payment and get off of the island. With the money from the contract, plus the bounty for Kakashi and the other jonin's head, we can get a head start on fulfilling your goals, Zabuza." Damn, that was some sound logic. But...

"Haku is injured, so she won't be one hundred percent..."

Jinpachi shrugged, "Leave the heavy duty fighting to me and you. She goes directly after Tazuna and does the dirty work while we focus on the jonin and the jinchuuriki. Even with one hand, I'm pretty sure your little tool is more than a match for a bunch of genin." Fair enough.

Zabuza weighed his options carefully as Haku finished addressing the wound, eventually coming to a conclusion, "Haku, can you eliminate the bridge builder?"

"I can do whatever you wish of me, Zabuza-sama." She calmly responded, causing Jinpachi to snicker, "Kinky, but get back on task here you two." He joked in a distasteful manner, eliciting a growl from Zabuza.

"Watch it, Jinpachi."

"But of course... now let's get going." He had a jinchuuriki to maim.

X.X.X.

(With Naruto and Pals)

"So you mean to tell me that the mystery ninja on their side is a girl?" Kiba asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, dog breath." Naruto sighed for the umpteenth time.

"... Was she hot?"

"Sure, let's go with that." In all honesty, she was easily one of the better looking girls Naruto has ever met, but he just didn't feel like talking about it right now. What he really wanted was a chance to actually talk to the girl, but it's hard to keep a conversation with a member of the opposite sex when you pretty much destroy their wrist.

It's funny, they didn't even learn each other's names before they tried to kill each other. Ah, that was the life of a shinobi he supposed.

Kakashi, still on his crutches, hobbled out of the front door and stood on the porch with the two boys, Asuma coming outside as well, "So Naruto, other than the fact that she's good enough with water jutsu to be able to do them with one hand, was there anything else that you could gather from your encounter with her?" He asked, casting a curious eye down at the blond.

Naruto shook his head as he watched Ino and Sakura bicker by the starting point of the woods. His eyes lingered on Ino just a little bit longer than he'd like to admit, but he couldn't help the growing attachment that he was developing towards his team.

Shikamaru was practically a brother in all but blood by this point. Having a near death experience with someone was sure to bring you two closer than other folks.

Asuma was what he imagined to be that cool uncle. You know, the one with a questionable vice that was sure to lead him into some trouble somewhere down the road, but that didn't stop him from sprinkling a little bit of cool aloofness everywhere he went.

And Ino. They became closer and closer as time progressed, forming somewhat of a brother and sister relationship. He could honestly say that they felt like a real family to him, as they provided him with a lot more warm and fuzzy feelings than he ever got with Orochimaru and associates.

Not even Kimimaro, who Orochimaru constantly referred to as Naruto's brother, gave off a familial vibe. It was more like he was his overseer or trainer, only really spending time around him to beat the snake shit out of the jinchuuriki.

Not only would he repeatedly hand him his own ass under the guise of training, he'd always make it a habit to talk down on Naruto for several reasons, and not in a playful, witty banter kind of way either.

For starters, Naruto apparently took Kimimaro's position as the snake's favorite pet project. All of the twisted 'love and affection' that Orochimaru used to bestow upon to the original bone wielder was given over to Naruto once he started to train. That obviously didn't marinate well with the Kaguya since he revered Orochimaru to be his actual father figure, and he made it known clearly and efficiently every time he put a boot to Naruto's ass.

Secondly, Kimimaro constantly told Naruto that his style of fighting with the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) was a shoddy bastardization of the true kekkei genkai. Being a master with the organic bone swords, the albino's movements were as fluid as water, precise as a needle, and clean as a whistle. Well, about as clean as carving several sizable chunks out of a living human being can be.

Naruto on the other hand was pretty much his polar opposite. Ignoring the art of sword play for a majority of the time, Naruto preferred to be up close and personal. Debilitating taijutsu was the name of his game, and it was with good reasoning behind it.

A pat on the back from Naruto was enough to kill someone with minimum effort.

A handshake is all it takes to end someone's life on a business day.

Hell, even a friendly hug could turn sour if Naruto was feeling a bit malicious.

Swords had too much practice and whatnot involved for the blond's tastes. There was no need for all of the technicalities and forms and stances when he could just skip the middle man and kick ass and take names the good old fashioned way.

Yeah, his team was way better in terms of familial bonds than his past. There was nothing in the world that he would trade for them either.

Shifting his weight around on the crutches, Kakashi sighed as Asuma stepped to his side to whisper, "So how long will it be before you're off the crutches? We've got to be ready in case we run into them again." Elite jonin or not, nobody found it beneficial to engage in mortal combat on some crutches.

Kakashi waved off his concerns though, an eye smile present on his masked visage, "Mah, don't worry. They're merely for cosmetic purposes at this point. I'm ready to go in case something pops up." He assured, his usually relaxed posture stiffening.

"Something up?" Asuma asked as he subtly put his trench knives onto his knuckles. Kakashi wasn't a person known for suddenly going stiff unless something major was about to go down.

"INO, SAKURA, HIT THE DECK!" Kakashi sternly ordered, alerting everyone else present that something urgent was taking place. Naruto wasted no time in rushing over to their position, taking the necessary dodges required to avoid the flying kunai coming towards him. Leaping over Ino once he reached her, Naruto was completely taken by surprise by a speedy kick from Jinpachi, a malicious grin forming once the child flew backwards into the house.

Touching down on the ground once he proudly committed yet another case of child abuse, the bearded swordsman looked down at the blond haired girl in front of him, seemingly ignoring the two jonin rushing forth to put him down.

Ino's heart dropped into her stomach once she heard the man with the monstrous blade in front of him yell in Naruto's direction.

"Eye for an eye, brat!" With no further hesitation, he quickly drove his foot directly into Ino's body, showcasing a surprising amount of flexibility as he brought his leg up completely. Ino's airborne body stood no chance against the razor sharp edge of the sword cutting straight through her stomach, her screams of pain never getting the chance to be heard in the world.

Not done with his barbaric display of violence yet, he savagely grinned as several explosive tags attached to the now separate halves of the deceased Yamanaka, "Kai!"

The following explosion of blood, guts, and bones caused everyone aligned to the Konoha side to stop dead in their tracks.

Asuma wasn't expecting to be coated in one of his student's insides on this trip.

Kakashi wasn't expecting to get a face full of intestines on this mission.

Sakura wasn't expecting to watch her friend get absolutely decimated by a peculiar looking sword.

"INOOOO!" Her shrill scream of terror filled everyone's ears with dread.

Well, almost everyone.

"See what happens when you kill one of ours?! We come after yours, and you'd be lucky to have any remains of them." Jinpachi sinisterly cackled, channeling some of his fallen comrade's tendencies unknowingly.

Sakura was frozen in place.

Her best friend, just killed like that. There was literally bits and pieces of what was left of Ino covering her dress.

She didn't even get a chance to fight back.

It all happened so quickly.

She was so caught up in the fact that her best friend just died with no warning like that, she wasn't aware of the shadow descending down upon her. Kubikiribocho posed to split her down the middle as well, Zabuza taunted the shell shocked girl, "Feel free to join her!" He roared as he brought the edge of the massive sword down towards the top of her cranium.

A human sized projectile did the unthinkable however, and did a full body check to the sword, diverting its path at the last second to prevent Sakura getting killed as well. The sword inserted itself into the dirt, with another unidentified body grabbing into it to hold it in place. It didn't stop Zabuza from kicking the pink haired girl in the head though, but he did tense up momentarily once his feet touched the ground and his eyes met something he didn't really want to.

Crimson orbs full of pure, unadulterated hate and anger stared directly into his, the killing intent behind them instantly reminding him of his days with Yagura.

Only difference between the two sensations was that this was far more potent. It almost wasn't even a contest.

There were no words exchanged. No witty banter. No hate filled dialogue.

Zabuza didn't miss yet another speedy blur take the pink haired brat away from the fray.

He didn't miss the ominous jutsu that was stayed with barely restrained rage either.

"Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift)."

The last thing that Zabuza got to see before everything faded to black was an arm pointed directly at his body from the chest up, with various hollowed out bones shooting a myriad of wind chakra coated fragments of sharp bones. The fragments shredded his upper body, mere human flesh standing no chance against such fast moving projectiles.

Naruto growled when he noticed that instead of blood flying everywhere, it was water acting as a substitute. "Fucking water clone." He thought as he turned his attention towards Jinpachi. The two exchanged heated glares before Jinpachi broke out in hysterical laughter, pointing his sword at the bridge builder's house, "Bring down the house, Zabuza!" He ordered as he dodged a coordinated attack by Kakashi and Asuma.

"You're up, Haku! Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Jutsu)!" A voice called out from the forest as a massive dragon composed of water rushed from the forest, toppling trees in its hurry to demolish the house.

"Shit, kids! Get into the house and protect Tazuna at all costs! Naruto, you stay out here and help us with Jinpachi since you've fought him before!" Kakashi ordered, dodging a swipe from Jinpachi.

Kiba wasted no time and rushed into the house, informing everyone of their mission objective. Right before he braced for impact, he turned around and spotted Naruto outside facing down the oncoming dragon, orange chakra pouring off of him. The blond stared for a couple of more seconds before the chakra output that he was giving off skyrocketed as he slammed his hands into the ground.

"Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)!"

Two massive skeletal hands, radiating the same colored chakra as their summoner, erupted out of the ground in a spectacular fashion on opposite sides of the house, clasping together at the fingers to shield the house from a majority of the damage.

Despite the hands shielding the house from a frontal assault, it didn't give the attack any cause for pause. It simply went around and relentlessly hammered into the house from the opening provided by the two hands not fully meeting.

There's always a chink in the armor, and the caster of the water jutsu took advantage of that with no remorse. After watching one side of the house get demolished and flooded, Zabuza signalled for Haku to complete her role in the operation, "Trap them all in and get rid of them. Bring the old man's head back to the hideout when you're done." She didn't even stick around to be told twice. Such an effective tool.

Once she rushed past the ongoing chaos, Haku landed into a healthy amount of water that pooled around the outside of the house. Zabuza put a lot of effort into that jutsu in order to provide her enough water to prevent anyone from escaping. She really didn't want to kill anyone, but her master's orders came before her personal wishes. If he needed her to be, she'd be the most heartless kunoichi that she could be.

Taking account of all of the water that was present within the house, Haku nodded before completing several one handed seals, "Makyō Hyōshō (Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals)." A majority of the water rose up to surround the house, forming into individual blocks of highly reflective ice.

Kiba gulped as he, alongside Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Sakura noticed the multitude of ice mirrors hovering over them ominously. If the sight of the mirrors alone weren't enough to unnerve them, the image of a masked being brandishing senbon needles appearing in every single mirror gave them the necessary push.

The following words chilled them all to the bone, "I'm here for the bridge builder's head. I won't stop until he's dead. I don't want to kill any of you, but if you're adamant on protecting him then you're setting yourself up to die." All of those reflections speaking at the same time sent an echo throughout the remainder of the house, not filling them with any warm feelings.

This day just kept going straight to hell.

X.X.X.

Jutsu List:

Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift): B rank, Offensive, Short range, Kekkei Genkai. The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) user grows hollowed out bones that extend from their forearm. Using Uzumaki styled chakra exercises, the user creates razor sharp fragments of bones and propels them out at near instantaneous speeds, similar to a modern day shotgun.

Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace): C rank, Offensive/Defensive, Kekkei Genkai. The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) user slams their hands into the ground to saturate the intended area with their chakra. Once they give the appropriate amount of chakra, skeletal hands come from the ground, their size depending on the level of chakra poured into the technique. Can be used to defend someone or used for offensive purposes.

X.X.X.

This one just flew straight out of my head, good God. And look, we finally get to see Naruto's new jutsus!

I was going to do another omake, but I got lazy and lost the motivation for it.

Don't get used to the updates being this frequent though, it's still on the updated whenever it's updated schedule.

So feel free to ask me stuff that I can answer. Read and review, and expect the wave arc to be wrapped up within the next chapter or so.

Oh yeah, and Happy Halloween. I'm saying this ahead of time in case I update before or after Halloween. Y'all be safe, don't hop into strange vans for candy, and enjoy scaring the shit out of people if that's what gets you going. Quiktrip hot dogs get me going.

Until next time folks, Spvnk out.