Hello again! Many thanks to RoMythe, Valairy, and Andreason for your kind reviews this week! Hope you all will enjoy this next chapter! ~Obi's Mom
Chapter 9 Afternoon Temptation
Obi-Wan and Siri looked at each other for a moment, then she jumped up and went to the kitchen.
"Hungry?" she asked.
"Sure," said Obi-Wan. They ate in silence for a while, both filled with their own thoughts. Then Obi-Wan asked her about the last mission she had been on with Master Adi. Siri began talking, and they passed the meal time sharing stories about their missions the previous year. They finished eating as Siri was telling a funny story about a boy on a mission several months ago who had a crush on her. She told Obi-Wan how the boy would look moonily at her, and how funny it was because he was only about twelve years old.
They laughed, and he asked "When did this happen?"
She said, "Oh, right after..." she stopped and looked at him. It had happened right after their mission together a year ago. It at first had made her mad, thinking it was too much of a coincidence, too much of a reminder of the pain she was trying to put away, but Master Adi had reasoned with her to relax and see the humor in it. She was finally able to after a couple days of the boy gazing at her with those silly over large eyes of his. She didn't finish this story with Obi-Wan, becoming too aware of him as he looked at her.
Their gazes locked onto each other, and Obi-Wan became very aware of how pretty she looked with the afternoon sun shining in on her. He became aware that his heart was beating faster, and saw her begin to breathe faster. All this was only a moment, but it seemed much longer to Obi-Wan. He suddenly stood up, breaking the eye contact, and knocked over a glass, watching it shatter on the floor.
He looked down at the mess and grimaced, embarrassed at his clumsiness. She jumped up, ready to help clean it up. They both stooped to pick up the glass and brushed close to one another, they stopped still and stood back up, eyes locked onto one another. They were drawn closer and closer to each other till they were a mere centimeter from each other's face. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and brushed his lips against her cheek softly, and she trembled, closing her eyes. His lips then passed close to hers and she anticipated it becoming a deep kiss, her hands started to reach up to him, but then he hesitated. They opened their eyes, and it was as if both suddenly awakened from a dream. They blinked and stepped back from one another, blushing. Obi-Wan cleared his throat and turned away.
"Don't worry about the glass, Siri, I'll clean it up. What were you planning to do?" Obi-Wan said, trying to sound casual, but his voice was trembling.
Siri stepped back, taking a deep breath, and said shakily, "I thought about going out to the garden to practice katas and meditate awhile."
"Good idea," agreed Obi-Wan, looking down at the broken glass and not at her, lest he get lost in her deep blue eyes again. "You go ahead and I'll clean up here. Then I'll just go to my room and meditate."
Siri nodded, and with flushed face and her heart pounding, she ran out the door, straight to the pond where she sat and gathered her senses about her.
Obi-Wan leaned his arms against the edge of the counter, his body trembling, his hands covering his face, trying to gain control. After a few minutes of taking deep breaths, he quickly cleaned up the broken glass and the dishes, then headed to his quarters. He stretched out on the bed and groaned.
"Why does this have to happen? Is this a test?" he wondered. "Are we being tested with our commitment to the Order?"
The morning sparring match that had released their emotions was fading, and the fact they were alone together for several hours didn't help. He closed his eyes, trying to rid his mind of the image of her face before him, blue eyes shining brightly, her lips slightly parted as she breathed, he had been aware of every breath she took. He had felt her tremble when he had brushed his lips against her cheek and lips. He had wanted at that moment to take her in his arms and kiss her like he did the night before, only this time without the audience. He remembered that kiss, how wonderful it felt, even in the circumstances they had been in. As he fought to gain control of his many, confused feelings, he grabbed a pillow and pressed it to his head, groaning. He firmly resisted the urge to go watch Siri do her katas, feeling he wouldn't survive if he did. He heard his Masters' voice in his head, "Breathe in the emotions, Obi-Wan, then breathe them out. Feel them, then let them go." Those words and his Masters' calm voice settled him down. With resolve he sat up, and got in a meditative position, and breathed out his emotions, letting the force flow through him. He began to meditate."
Siri went through her katas, trying to concentrate on them and not on the young man in the house. Every time she moved to the next position, her thoughts would return to that moment in the kitchen, those limpid blue-gray eyes soaking into her, the curve of his mouth, how she had thrilled at the soft touch of his lips against hers, how she wanted him to take her in his arms the way he did last evening. She thought about that kiss, and the dreams she had during the night. She stopped, panting, and groaned, frustrated at herself, at Obi-Wan, at the whole ridiculous situation. She finally gave up the Katas, and settled herself by the pond to meditate. She felt her Masters calmness and serenity and tried to capture them to calm herself. It helped and she breathed out her emotions, letting the force flow through her and she began to meditate.
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Much later, they sat in the main room and looked at the holonet for awhile. Both had finally achieved the calm serenity they were supposed to hold onto as Jedi, the betraying emotions banished and put to rest. They were comfortable with each other again.
It was dark and getting late, and Obi-Wan and Siri didn't feel like eating.
Obi-Wan stood up and said he was going to observe the boys getting ready to put out the signs.
"I'm coming with you." Said Siri, leaving no room for argument.
"Okay, lets go," said Obi-Wan. Both put their robes on, leaving their hoods up. In the darkness, they would be practically invisible. They went out.
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They silently approached the community center. Obi-Wan had a feeling thats where they would be. It was centrally located where the teens could easily meet, and the owners didn't seem to care what they did there. They heard quiet sounds behind the building, and crept around to observe. Boys and a couple of the girls were putting finishing touches on some signs, which said things like "Don't destroy our land," "Mining may profit, but it's not worth the cost", and such things. Two other boys were stirring a can of paint. Obi-Wan nudged Siri and pointed. Chools was on the edge of the group, laying out a sign for a last minute touch up.
Obi-Wan and Siri watched as Marcus came up to the boys, and quietly said, "It's getting late. It's almost time to do this. Lets get done quickly then get home. We have a big night tomorrow night."
One boy looked at him and said, "A big night? Why, whats going on?"
Marcus looked at him, "I mean with the party. We don't want to be too tired and disappoint the girls." he smirked.
Some of the boys laughed, while others shook their head "Doesn't matter to us. We just come for the food anyway."
They broke up into small groups and silently carried their signs to their destinations. The other two boys took the paint. They were gone quickly.
Siri quietly spoke, "Do you want to follow any of them."
Obi-Wan thought about it, "No, I don't think so," he said. "I don't think were going to learn anything new tonight. We probably need to get some rest too..for the "big night" , he smiled wanly at her.
"Lets go home, then" she said.
They walked into the house to find Qui-Gon and Adi had only been there a few minutes.
"Where have you two been?" asked Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan told him, then asked about the meeting.
Qui-Gon signed heavily, "It's a mess. Chancellor Bendi at first didn't want to come, sending a representative to say he wouldn't negotiate with someone who is paying kids to destory private property. Of course, Chancellor Loman took issue with that. Then Bendi finally agreed to come to the meeting, and we waited a long time for him to get there, and when he finally did, it was one long argument for hours. I don't think Adi and I really needed to be there, they pretty much ignored us. After the meeting tomorrow, Ilse Starhaven wants us to go with her to dinner, where we can discuss the situation, and see if we can't come up with something, but I don't think we'll get anywhere as long as the problem of the vandalism is still out there."
Adi said, "And the worst part is we didn't pick up any clues while we were there. No one mentioned any "Rons.." person. I know it looks bad for Chancellor Loman, with what you found out today, Obi-Wan, but I really think he's innocent. But with these negotiations we have to be at, our hands are pretty much tied."
"It felt like a complete waste of time," Qui-Gon said tiredly, "but we know that something will come out of this."
He looked at Obi-Wan and Siri, "I think the key will be in what you two find out tomorrow night, but be careful. We'll be with Ms. Starhaven. If you get in trouble or need anything, you tell us."
Obi-Wan and Siri nodded, "Yes, Master" Said Obi-Wan. ''
Adi and Siri headed to the kitchen to set out a light meal. Obi-Wan could hear them talking quietly.
Qui-Gon looked intently at Obi-Wan. "Are you two all right?" he asked with concern.
"Yes, Master, we're fine. It's okay." He looked at his Master, who studied him closely, searching for a moment, then he relaxed, smiled and squeezed his shoulder gently,
"Good. Let's eat something and get to bed."
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Later, Obi-Wan lay in his bed thinking about what he and Siri had gone through that afternoon. He could hear Qui-Gon in the next bed stirring, and spoke to him quietly.
"Master?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan hesitated, not sure how to proceed. "You know Siri and I made the decision to put our feelings for each other aside for our commitment to the order, but I've been going through a lot of feelings concerning Siri, especially after that night at the community center." He paused, " I know as a Jedi I can't form attachments and I'm supposed to deal with emotions and not let them rule me...I've been failing at that pretty badly lately, and I'm sorry, Master."
There was a moment of silence, then Qui-Gon signed heavily, "I know you have, Obi-Wan, you and Siri are young, and you love each other."
At Obi-Wan's start, Qui-Gon explained, "Yes, I know you two love each other, and that there is a strong connection between you. Just because you give up that love to remain in the Jedi Order, and you choose to obey the code doesn't mean that love isn't there. It probably always will be to a degree."
Obi-Wan's heart sank at that. Could he spend his life knowing he loved someone and never be able to be with her like he would like to be?
"Would it be better for us not to go on missions together? To be away from each other as much as possible?" Obi-Wans' heart sank at that scenario also. He felt distressed, not sure which would be the right way.
"Not necessarily," Qui-Gon answered, "Maybe for a while, but I believe you and Siri will make a great Jedi team some day. I could even see the two of you going on missions together with your Padawans. You just need to learn to be together and work together and be friends, without letting feelings of attachment come in. It's possible, and I believe you and Siri are strong enough to do it."
Obi-Wan liked the sound of he and Siri going on missions together with their Padawans. Maybe their Padawans would be close friends the way he and Siri are now. He smiled at that. He had another question burning to be asked.
"Master, if you knew what we were going through, why did you and Master Adi leave us alone today?"
"Thats a good question, Padawan, and I almost wondered that myself", He smiled, "mainly, because although we are on the same mission, my and Adis part in the mission is on a different path from yours and Siris, but I also trust you, Obi-Wan. You're a young man with integrity, and you're a gentleman at heart. I trusted that your training and commitment to the order would overcome any...um...temptation you may have gone through. I felt your distress this afternoon, as did Adi with Siri, but we trusted the two of you to do the right thing, and you did, didn't you?"
"Yes, Master, but it took awhile. She was in the garden and I was in here, and we meditated till we got our feelings under control."
"Why did you choose to control your feelings rather than act on them?" asked Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan thought about it. He was glad they were in the darkness of the room so Qui-Gon couldn't see how much he was blushing, but he finally spoke honestly.
"There are probably several reasons, Master, the code being one, our decision last year being another, but mainly, I think it's because I respect Siri too much to have acted on a desire of a moment, as strong as it was, knowing we couldn't truly be together. We would only have been acting on a momentary whim, and not on a life commitment to each other, the way it should be done if it were to happen. I couldn't do that to either her or myself. We didn't talk about it later, but I know Siri feels the same way."
Qui-Gon smiled, very satisfied in his answer. "Well done, Padawan, I am proud of you. There are not many young men, including some Padawans, who could have gone through what you did and not succumb to it. If I hadn't thought you would do the right thing, I wouldn't have left you two here alone."
"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan choked out. He was almost too moved to speak.
Obi-Wan felt a warmth of gratitude for Qui-Gon's trust in him. He knew that to have succumbed to this temptation would have felt good for a minute, but to know that he had Qui-Gon's trust, and that he did not betray that trust felt even better.
Thanks for reading and I hope those who may have been hoping for an "afternoon delight" wasn't too disappointed, ;). Next week, Party at the Camp Grounds, and their mission starts getting more action. See ya' then! ~Obi's Mom
