I am woken in the morning by a sudden overwhelming amount of nausea. I only just make it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of my stomach. When I am finished throwing up and I have washed my mouth out, I slowly drag myself back to bed feeling completely exhausted. Haymitch had woken up when I ran from the bed into the bathroom and is looking at me in a 'concerned mentor' way. "Are you okay, sweetheart? He asks me. I turn to him and smile, "Yeah, I'm fine Haymitch" I reply. Haymitch is not convinced but he doesn't say anything else, he just wraps his arms around me as we both fall asleep for a couple more hours.
When I wake a second time, Haymitch has gone. I get up and get changed to go and look for him. He's probably in the dining room with a glass of liquor... I make it to the dining room and see Cinna, Portia, Jason and Haymitch sitting at the dining table. I hesitate before I go in, I need to apologise to Cinna about my actions the other night. I make my way straight over to the food table, pile up my plate and then sit between Haymitch and Jason. "Morning Sweetheart" Haymitch tells me but I can see he is more focused on his glass of liquor. "Morning." I tiredly reply. I look up to see Cinna's eyes trained on me and he raises his eyebrows, a question, What's wrong? I just shrug in return.
Cinna reminds me and Jason about the Private training session, but I really don't want to go, all I want to do is curl up in bed with a nice cup of tea and forget about the Hunger Games entirely. But I can't. I can feel someone's eyes staring at me and when I look up, Jason is watching me with a puzzled expression on his face. "Katniss? Are you okay?" He asks me in concern which causes Haymitch and Cinna to turn and look at me too. "You look really pale." Cinna observes. "I'm fine" I brush there concern away, I hate drama so I try not to complain about stuff like pain or illness too much. "Sweetheart, you should see a doctor." Haymitch tells me. "Haymitch, I'm fine really." I insist. "I wasn't asking Katniss." Haymitch gives me the 'obey your mentor look.' I scowl at him. "Ugh fine!" I throw my hands up in exasperation.
As Haymitch leads me to the medical ward, I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me. What symptoms have I had? Umm.. Nausea, exhaustion and pale cheeks. I probably just have the flu and Haymitch is going mad. When we eventually reach the medical ward, I am escorted to a white room while Haymitch waits outside for me to finish. The doctor whose name is Dr. Redwood asks me for symptoms, so I tell her "Nausea, Pale cheeks and exhaustion." Dr Redwood nods and writes what I am saying on a clipboard. "Well Miss Everdeen, I can tell from the symptoms already that you could have Anemia, Heat exhaustion, Food poisoning or your pregnant. I have already ruled out the illnesses you do not have which are Heat exhaustion and food poisoning so you could either have Anemia or your Pregnant. Miss Everdeen I am going to have to take a blood sample to see if you have Anemia, May I?" I nod yes and wait for the results.
"Miss Everdeen, I have the results. It appears you do not have Anemia so you must be pregnant." I can literally feel the blood drain out of my face. A baby... "You said you have sickness correct?" I nod. "Well morning sickness usually starts around 4-6 weeks so I'm guessing you are within that time range." Gale's baby... Oh my god. I am going in to the arena pregnant.
When I meet up with Haymitch again, he reminds me about the private training session and says I should go and he'll wait for me. So we make our way to the training centre and I am allowed to go straight in. When I enter, I know I'm in trouble. The gamemakers have sat through 23 other demonstrations, have had too much wine probably but I carry on walking straight to the bow and arrows. Even pulling on the bowstring is wrong as it is tighter than the one I use at home and I miss the dummy by a few centimetres, losing the remaining concentration I had left. I try again and this time I manage to hit the heart of the dummy and I actually feel quite proud of myself, I turn to the gamemakers who are more interested in a roast pig. Suddenly I am furious, that with my life on the line, they don't even have the decency to pay attention to me. That I'm being upstaged by a dead pig. Before I am even aware of what I am doing, I have a arrow flying towards the gamemakers table, skewering the apple out of the stupid roast pigs mouth. The gamemakers stare at me in disbelief but I just scowl at them, bow and say "Thank you for your consideration." Before walking out of the room.
I find Haymitch leaning on the wall outside and once he sees me, we walk in the direction of the elevator. On the way back to our floor, Haymitch keeps shooting me glances, he can tell I know what's wrong but I won't tell him. At least not until we get back to our floor. As soon as the elevator doors close behind us, Haymitch starts questioning me. "Katniss. What is wrong?" Well here goes nothing... "Haymitch... I'm pregnant." I say watching the news sink in. "Your...pregnant?" He asks, I'm guessing he just wants me to confirm he isn't hallucinating. "Yes. I'm pregnant. I'm going into the arena pregnant. And there is nothing I can do about it" Haymitch looks like a fish, with his mouth opening and closing, finally he asks me the question I have been dreading the most. "Who is the father?" I answer him weakly, "Gale is." Haymitch just nods in understanding.
When the elevator doors open, my prep team engulfs me. I forgot they were coming over to get me ready for the Interview with Caesar. I let them do what they want with me, I don't even pay attention as I try to get my head around the fact that I am carrying a child. A unborn child who is going into the arena with it's mother. A unborn child that will probably never breathe, see or smell what this cruel world has to offer. A pang of grief for this child I have never met chokes me but I quickly compose myself before the prep team become aware that something is very wrong. "There, she's done. You look so beautiful Katniss!" Octavia squeals. Cinna smiles. I turn to look at the full length mirror and I see a creature from another world who makes clothes out of jewels because my dress is implanted with beautiful blue, yellow and orange jewels. I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun. "Oh Cinna, Thank you." I whisper. "Twirl for me" Cinna commands. I comply without question and the Prep team screams in admiration.
As Cinna is about to leave for his seat in the crowd, I stop him. I'm overcome with stage fright. "Just be yourself. They already love you... I'm not aloud to bet, but if I could, I'd bet on you." He whispers in my ear soothingly before laying a soft kiss on my temple and leaving me alone in the room. I watch all the other tributes and only a few stick out in my head. The ruthless killing machine from District 2. A fox-faced girl from District 5. And most hauntingly, A 12 year old girl from District 11 called Rue. Before I know it, they are calling 'Katniss Everdeen' and I feel myself as if in a dream make my way centre stage, shakes Caesars hand (he has the good grace not to immediately wipe his off on his suit.) and sit down. "So, Katniss. The Capitol has got to be quite a change from District 12. What's the thing that's impressed you the most since you arrived here?" What? What did he say? It's as if the words don't make sense. I desperately lock eyes with Cinna and imagine the words coming from his mouth, "The Lamb stew." I manage to get out. Caesar and most the audience are laughing but I don't get what's funny. "Oh, the one with the dried plums? I eat it by the bucketful!" Caesar turns sideways to the audience in horror, "It doesn't show, does it?" They shout reassurance to him.
Caesar smiles at me "When you came out in the chariots at the opening ceremonies, my heart actually stopped. Were the flames real, may I ask?" Caesar asks me, genuinely interested. "Yes, In fact I'm wearing them today. Would you like to see?" I ask and the audience cheers in agreement so I stand up and start twirling. Everyone watching me screams in delight. I have to eventually stop because I'm dizzy. "Don't stop!" Caesar says, "I have to I'm dizzy!" I reply, giggling which I think I have maybe done never in my lifetime. Caesar wraps a protective arm around me, "Don't worry, I've got you. Don't want you following in your mentors footsteps." Caesar jokes and then everyone hooting at Haymitch who good-naturedly waves the camera back to me.
"Anyway, they're is a topic most of the Capitol population is wondering about, it's about your sister. We all were very moved when you volunteered for her at the reaping. Can you tell us about her?" Caesar gently asks me patting my hand. "Her name's Prim and she means the world to me." I say. "Did she come say goodbye to you?" I nod. "What did you tell her in the end?" Caesar questions me. "I told her that I would try to win. That I would try to win for her." I explain and the audience seems to be hanging onto my every word, you might have been able to hear a pin drop. "Of course you did. And try you will." Caesar tells me before kissing my hand, helping me up and then saying "Lets give a round of applause for Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!" The applause and cheering doesn't lift my mood or anything, it actually reminds me of why I am here. Not to eat luxuries and relax but to die a bloody death while the crowd urges on my killer.
When I get back to the dining hall on our floor, we have a small dinner where we announce what we did before the gamemakers. "You shot a arrow at the gamemakers?" Effie squeals, horrified. But Haymitch just looks proud of me and says "Nice shooting sweetheart." which causes me to smile. We watch the televised scores and I get the highest of the 24 with an impressive 11.
When everything is finished, I have to say goodbye to Effie and Haymitch as only Cinna will be accompanying me to the arena. Haymitch practically lunges at me. My arms wrap around him and I close my eyes, so far from any emotion, I don't even fight tears. "I'll hate your guts forevermore," I whisper just in his ear.
"Me too, sweetheart. It will be fine." His lips have barely said the words before they enclose mine, hungry and soul devouring.
"See you in a while," I assure him simply. He startles me as he drags me back against him.
"Don't. Fuck. With. Me. Sweetheart." His eyes search my face and narrow as his head dips slightly and he then releases me.
I take a breath and look him square in the eyes with an odd little shrug. "So you finally realized the charcoaled one has no hope of fitting? That's a shame, Hay. I would have at least tried."
He tries to look at me with his mean mentor face but his features lose the iron will and contort into mirth. He throws his head back and laughs as if I have trampled his last bottle of liquor and offered him a glass of milk to make up for it. "Nice try, but I kept my end of the bargain and you will beg to keep yours. Sweetheart." The lust in his eyes and the promise of pleasure is unmistakable.
I make a noise in the back of my throat denying his claim. "Will a capitol curtsy do or are you expecting me all the way down on my knees?" I am relishing this flirty exchange.
"You'll be kissing my feet as you offer yourself to me, my love."
His statement sends a tingle down my spine. Battle. My head dips and my eyes dart up to him through my lashes, as I murmur, "Don't bet on it. Sweetheart."
His eyes dance with promises and surety but deeper I catch a glimmer of challenge. I put my palm up against his cheek, a gesture of love, but for me I am just hoping it isn't goodbye.
Someone clears his throat, clearly annoyed. "You done creeping everyone out? Thought this little picnic of yours was on a schedule?" Jason says darkly.
I turn and walk away without saying more. I hear him address me just as I step through my bedroom door. "Sweetheart..." I turn and look at him. "Any last words of advice?" I ask Haymitch. "Stay Alive" He tells me, I nod and shut my bedroom door behind me.
