This is the end of this part of Darcy's story. I hope you enjoy it!
In the dark and quiet hours when Jane wasn't there and sometimes even when she was Darcy would look back on her life. Not the silly high school dramas that might have derailed her if she'd let them or the boys that facebook remembered better than she did... She'd remember her mother and grandmother.
"Bernadette "Bernie" Rosenthal was a remarkable woman," they'd said at her funeral. "She gave so much to this world, art and beauty, and then for the hell of it she went to law school and fought back injustice and prejudice."
Darcy had hated her mother then. Hated her for dying, just like Grandpa had died and left Grandma Golda. At the funeral she'd been so small and lost clinging to Grandma's stiff dress until she couldn't take the cheek pinching anymore.
She remembers Max dragging her outside and taking her to the end of the road into the little wood that bordered the west side of town. "Come on, don't be afraid!"
Darcy hadn't been afraid then. Just very, very sad.
So she'd followed Max the two little girls wandering for hours. As the sun went down they realized they were lost. When they returned they were dirty and hungry but still got in trouble. Everyone had been angry with them. The next morning Aunt Esther, Max's mom, took Max away. Then it was just the two of them, Grandma Golda and little Darcy.
That had been the end of sadness. Being a little kid an "orphan" as the others called her. But that was a lie she had a home, had Grandma Golda, even Aunt Esther and cousin Max all the way in New York. And most importantly she had love.
Now all these years later in a secret life that even her cousin and grandmother didn't know about she'd found another family. People to watch over her and care for her, people to fight alongside. There seemed to be a path now that she looked back, one that disappeared with Bernie's (Mom's!) death. If she'd grown up with Mom and Grandma her life would have been different, maybe not completely but maybe she would have been an artist like her mom and wouldn't have bothered with Political Science and being pre-law. That path (whatever it was) was long gone now and Darcy found herself wondering if Mom's death had been necessary for Darcy to have such a remarkable life.
This fate and destiny crap probably means I've had too much morphine today. Darcy did however realize that her time in the hospital was coming to a close and she was nowhere near ready for her evaluations and she was barely keeping up with her physical therapy. It was time to work hard at the business of recuperating.
She had almost a full day after their night-time mission to think on things. Jane came of course and in short order Natasha and the twins came to keep her company for a few hours after the sun had gone down answering questions vaguely about the mission. Somewhat obviously playing down the danger while steering conversation away from it. It felt odd that they seemed to act like Darcy wasn't entitled to know about such a small mission. She hated it.
Tony was the only one who acted like nothing had changed and he hadn't heard about the possibility that Darcy might leave SHIELD, the whole visit the next morning he and Bruce were bickering. Bruce had gotten there first by a few minutes and said sorry about not grabbing her first for the thousandth time (maybe it was only the third time whatever). Apparently this had come up because the lab assistants were terribly efficient now and always deferred to Ms. Lewis. Who incidentally they rather deal with than Tony. Obviously Tony reasoned, if Bruce had just grabbed her, then his lab assistants would return his lab back to his tyranny.
"This again? Honestly, I handled it," Darcy said, grinning. "And do you really want to deal with your lab assistants Tony?"
He jumped on that, "Why don't you come work for me? You can do all the same things except for the official SHIELD business. I mean we're already used to you, and we hate breaking in new people. Why do think we're here all the time?" Tony's voice was nonchalant and light but he looked sincere, even though he seemed to be joking he wasn't flippant.
Her jaw dropped open but then she quickly held her shock and laughed it off. It had clearly been a setup, baiting (guilting really) Bruce into bringing up the kidnapping (and by extension SHIELD without actually bringing up SHIELD, no "oh hey being a SHIELD agent is dangerous I'd rather you not do it anymore" from Tony) and Bruce didn't look like he minded because well that's just how Tony operated. Darcy just kept working on the usual stuff for the rest of the day half nearly forgetting the unwelcome offer. Steve was apparently not involved with some vigilantism going on in the city the last two days (reports mentioned a blonde athlete type tracking down known gangsters in Harlem and other tiny blurbs on twitter of a mysterious duo). But really Clint wasn't very convincing.
The next night Tony came in with Pepper. "We'd like to offer you a job as PA for Tony and myself."
"Huh? I mean... I haven't said no to SHIELD." It occurred to her that outright refusal could seem rude. Appropriate but rude.
"Yet?" Tony said mildly.
"Just think about it, I'll leave the contract here." Pepper patted the thick manila envelope and winked.
"And I won't even tell you about the perks besides the fact that there are perks and it would unfairly sway you to leave SHIELD." Tony was fiddling around with the tv because he was convinced they could get better sound.
"This isn't a joke." Darcy was going through the packet, curiosity getting the best of her. There was a contract for five years with little downside if she left early, which she could extend whenever. Literally job security as long as she wanted it. Even SHIELD couldn't offer that, theirs was more the "you're with us until you die when you sign the dotted line." Before she could stop herself she was wondering out loud, "Like... wouldn't I have to leave? Everything you work on is top secret."
"Well we may have already talked to Fury about it. And he may have agreed to put you on indefinite suspension so that you don't lose your clearance."
Darcy blinked. Did it make her angry that they'd ask or angry that this had happened so quickly? Then she counted to ten, looked down at the packet in her hands.
"You know you're kinda slow for a gal that can wipe out a dozen bad guys, single-handed." his brief smile was genuine and admiring but he was busy taking apart the built-in speakers and adding tiny little things to it. Apparently they were magic things since suddenly it was loud. "As his former assistant-" started Pepper.
"Best ever, you can hope to be a distant second." interjected Tony.
"-that didn't have SHIELD training, I have to tell you Darcy its not an easy job being Tony Stark's assistant, you might have to use a gun again. But the chances should decrease. At least a little." Pepper was sitting on the bed, her long legs crossed, Tony next to her reacting to what Pepper was saying his eyes twinkling.
Darcy just managed, "Thank you. You have no idea how much this offer means to me." It meant a lot because they really wanted her around and she'd only been ordered to endear herself to them right? Darcy was busy doubting herself but Pepper just smiled and squeezed her hand as Happy brought in a selection of smoothies in a cooler for Darcy, a burger for the guys and salad for Pepper. They chatted about the team and it was confirmed. They really were just a group of gossiping superheros. Apparently Bruce had gotten in touch with an old girlfriend, (thereby ruining Darcy's plan B for Jane's love life in case Thor didn't come back soon). Pepper looked back at Darcy and said, "Darcy what's wrong?"
"Brain freeze agh!" They laughed at her and she grinned sheepishly and while they laughed she tried recalling the name of Bruce's old girlfriend from his file. Betty something. She'd look it up as soon as they left. Did plotting whilst hanging out come naturally to all SHIELD agents or was she really that bored?
The next night Steve came a little early for pizza night (there was literally no other cuisine that everyone could eat casually and agree on quickly) and caught her with the nurse walking back to bed from the bathroom. Her skin grafts itched terribly, and her side was pulling like a bitch and she was sweating from the exertion after physical therapy. "Oh Darcy I'm sorry I should go."
The nurse really liked Steve and said no don't leave she's just about done. Darcy could have punched her, she would have liked the chance to put some makeup on and have a sponge bath. Steve offered to help her back into bed and the nurse left before Darcy could get her breath back and say no, leave buddy I'm gross.
Steve picked her up gently from her good side, completely clinical like he picked up injured women all the time. Darcy was vividly reminded that she'd decided he was the one that picked her up and returned her to bed last week and he probably did pick up injured women all the time. Part of Darcy wanted to rebel and demand to be put down. The other part couldn't stop blushing when she found her hand lingering on his chest a moment too long. He tucked her in being extra gentle with her injured side. This time he didn't blush which was good because Darcy was blushing enough for the both of them. I wanted to be awake to enjoy being carried by Captain America, damnit I'm blushing like an idiot! She was however glad for the nice gowns she was wearing that covered everything up. There was a moment though when their eyes met and his looked like he was about to say something, and Darcy wanted to flirt but then the moment was gone. Once she could breathe again she said, "Thanks, I'm sorry you had to do that."
"Lewis it was nothing. You weigh nothing." he said. Last name again, right he has a girlfriend, and scars... I've got a lot of them. Darcy thought.
"Well walking sucks. I've decided not to do it for a while. Except I really want to leave this place. Wheelchairs are completely underrated." Steve laughed, by then Jane, Clint, Natasha and the twins had arrived.
Jane winked at her when she came in for a hug. "Sorry I didn't come earlier!"
"That's ok you just missed my little excursion, I did like eight laps of this room after physical therapy. That's why I'm so gross and sweaty."
"You look fine, Darcy," Natasha handed her a towel and Jane handed her the makeup. Because it is universal truth that one sometimes needed some makeup to feel the comfort of having a mask to present to the world when one felt like crap. And couldn't stop blushing wildly.
They all settled in and set out the pizza, beers and sodas. "So are you going to take the job?" asked Bruce.
"Uh..." Oh right Lewis, that job offer thing that you're not going to take but that also punches you in the gut with emotion because of everything it means.
"What job?" inquired Jane.
"Pepper and Tony offered her a job as an assistant, you know in case she doesn't want to be a SHIELD agent anymore." Clint supplied.
Darcy looked down ashamed to meet anyone's gaze. "It was really nice of them but I mean, being a SHIELD agent, its kinda way more important, I wasn't really going to-"
"Darcy that would be wonderful!" Jane hugged her a bit too enthusiastically, and she bit back a cry.
"No Jane it wouldn't be. I mean, yeah it sucks k-, shooting people and you have to wear a suit but, you get to save people."
"You can save people and not have to shoot a gun, we talked about this. You're good at this. But." Nat sat close to her, lifted her chin, "There's no shame in wanting a different life Agent Lewis. You'd get to be Darcy again."
Darcy wanted to hug Natasha but she had the distinct feeling it would be inadvisable.
Steve nodded. "Did you ever want to be an agent before?"
"Um, no but. Its the job you know? Kinda like what else is there?"
"Are you worried about disappointing Phil?" Tony was at the door watching them all, Bruce at his side. "I swear I'm not trying to make you cry again, but I don't think Phil would want you taking this up if you had even the smallest doubt." The team members exchanged a look.
"Do you know how Phil Coulson died Lewis?" Steve was at the foot of her bed, Nat sitting on one side of the bed, Jane on the other, Clint perched on the window sill, just behind Steve. "He died standing up to Loki."
"I said it was a stupid thing to do. I was wrong."
"Tony was just, upset that we weren't there." Steve glanced at Tony and back at Darcy.
"The point is, you proved you can handle yourself, proved you could do the job. You don't have to worry about proving anything else to Phil. He'd be proud but he'd want you to be happy." Tony was serious.
Jane was squeezing her hand, and kissed her cheek. "Remember when Phil asked you if you wanted to be a SHIELD agent? You thought he was kidding? He told you could do it, but it would require sacrifice." Jane hadn't been there but she'd "accidentally" left the security cameras rolling in her labs.
"Ok, so here's the only thing that matters. No one will think less of you for leaving SHIELD, its not like you washed out at training, you took out twelve bad guys and saved 38 women all in a day. I promise to shoot anyone who looks at you funny for leaving SHIELD in the ass. Got it?" Clint's tone was light but he was earnest. Everyone nodded and sorta just converged on the pizzas and beer.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jane was quizzical but whispering while she fixed Darcy's pillows.
"You just got here?" Darcy shrugged. More like, I'm not taking it, duh.
They all sat back then after the heaviness and bickered over what movies to watch. Apparently they'd agreed on Moulin Rouge sometime ago but someone had brought Harry Potter, then someone else had brought Raiders of the Lost Ark. So they took a vote. Raiders won.
It was cozy with Jane still sitting next to her, Natasha spread out over the foot of the bed. Tony and Bruce sitting on the lounge chair, Steve on the ground. Clint still perched on the sill and the twins squished in a stolen chair from the family waiting room. It looked uncomfortable but as Darcy studied their faces imagining them in the costumes that they'd been wearing on the tabloids, or as they walked down the halls of SHIELD, it became so surreal that they'd be here with her.
There was a shift in reality for Darcy then. Almost as if she really was standing at a fork in the road and even though she wanted to take the less traveled road everyone was pulling her down the other. She wanted all the doubt to be gone. As if on cue a she heard a whisper of a voice. "Miss Lewis what exactly do you plan to do with your life?" the ghost of Phil may have been brought on by morphine or the heady closeness of these superheroes gathered around at rest. It seemed they who had come together over the death of a suit were trying to keep her out of the suit and save themselves the trouble of another dead comrade. But keeping her at home didn't guarantee safety, it just meant some other poor sap would get cut down in her stead. Darcy knew what she had to do, but falling in love with those that Phil had assembled was worse than getting shot. You can heal from a gunshot wound but walking around trying to get things done while your friends were out there fighting without you... that would be unimaginably tough. Darcy felt that she was a poor replacement for Phil but they were piling up all their hopes and dreams for what they would have liked Phil to have. It was confusing, painful and bittersweet.
Of course Darcy was dozing off by the second hour but then Clint shot Bruce and Tony in the butt with a rubber band. Apparently having a popcorn fight is the only solution to that and soon everyone was laughing and stumbling over furniture making a huge mess.
Friday morning Darcy woke up around six, which was early considering she was sleeping upwards of fourteen hours a day. She asked the nurses for help with a bath. Gently she put on her suit. The whole ordeal took two hours and Darcy dropped into the lounge chair and dozed off. At nine Natasha woke her up, helped her into a wheelchair, Clint was waiting outside in a black sedan with blacked out windows. They drove in silence mostly because Darcy was savoring her first coffee in weeks. When they got into the SHIELD garage Natasha gave her shoulder a squeeze and Clint eased her gently into the wheelchair. Agent Hill greeted her at the elevator and Darcy made sure her bland expression was back on. The whole thing didn't take very long. They asked her a series of questions she answered as thoroughly as possible. They took her in for a polygraph test, even though the readouts were going to be useless given she hadn't taken any pain medication and was already in distress.
Finally they headed up to Director Fury's office. Darcy demanded they take the wheelchair away. She was sworn in and signed the paperwork to officially become a SHIELD agent. Then gently she walked out on her own two feet and eased back into her wheelchair. As they reversed the process and she waited patiently in the garage a nameless agent introduced herself and said Clint and Natasha had been called away. Darcy shrugged and fought the urge to yawn. They drove for a bit and then parked in a random warehouse at the docks. She thought about worrying but let the whole scene play out like it was a simulation. Darcy blocked out the pain as best she could and forced herself to be ready. She exited again with assistance and waited patiently in her wheelchair. Director Fury emerged from the shadows.
"You're fired Agent Lewis." he said as he pushed her over to a table.
"Well at least I have the record for the worlds shortest SHIELD agent career." her sunglasses in place she could trust her best bland face was still intact, he sat down across from her. They studied each other for a bit.
"Did you anticipate this?"
"Anticipate would be... too generous, I thought there might be a chance this was a long game but I didn't bet on it." Fury liked her, he really did she could tell.
"So now that you're fired, I hear you have a job offer."
"Yeah I'm going to be Tony Stark's personal assistant. Apparently there are perks that would have unfairly swayed me to take the job so Tony didn't tell me about them." Darcy was offhand almost bored in her tone of voice.
"Great, because you don't qualify for any benefits from SHIELD when you work deep cover." He motioned to a stack of papers. "We're just going to shred these documents that you signed to become a SHIELD agent." Now Darcy quirked an eyebrow. "See, officially you quit your assignment and rejected appointment. This never happened." he waved to the their surroundings. "You will sign these documents as your exit package." Darcy started reading and signing. It was going to take a while.
"Your unofficial assignment will be deep cover. You will not ever officially step foot in a SHIELD office or file official reports. You will live in the public eye as Tony Stark's assistant, become indispensable to him and your assignment will be to live the life that any civilian would in your given circumstances. You will have relationships with everyone in Stark Tower and know them by name, and generally know everything that goes on there. You might someday have to draw a gun against a threat; you may even have to leave on vacations which you will never have, instead you will continue to train, be debriefed and never ever reveal your assignment. This assignment will take years. If all goes well you will be there every day to protect Virginia Potts, Jane Foster and possibly Elizabeth Ross. You will be the last line of defense against those who would harm the defenseless. The worst case scenario will be the thing you are waiting for. Do you understand?"
"Can I date?"
"That's your only question?"
"Can I get married?"
Fury clenched his jaw but answered. "Yes, live a normal life. Now tell me your mission as you understand it."
"Be Stark's assistant, be indispensable, live a normal life. Protect Pepper, Jane and Betty. And I'm waiting for the worst case scenario."
"Good."
"Any other questions?"
"Who do I report to if I have security concerns?"
"You'll have a phone number to call an agent will meet you."
"Should I always carry a gun?" You can pry my gun from my cold dead fingers! Darcy thought.At least my taser!
"Yes."
"If I get offered a promotion do I have to clear it with you first?"
"Yes."
"Will Agents Romanov and Barton know?"
"Agent Romanov might suspect but you are never to confirm her suspicions."
"If I get captured or tortured are you guys coming for me?"
"Probably not."
"Thought so. Where do I sign?"
"Here and here." he gestured at a suitcase with two new packets of papers.
This was officially going to be the day she tired of writing her own name. Signing up to be an Agent, signing an exit package of NDAs, signing up for deep cover. It was endless and ridiculous. Fury wheeled her back to the car. There was just one more question, "Did Agent Coulson anticipate this?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"'Theirs is not to question why, theirs is but to do and die.'" muttered Darcy under her breath as Fury wheeled her back to the car.
"Agent Coulson would be very proud." was the last thing Darcy heard from Fury and even then she wondered if it wasn't wishful thinking.
She was taken back to SHIELD through a secret passage and delivered a floor below the garage in a secret room. She rode the elevator up a floor with the nameless agent (rumor was her name was Agent 13, but Darcy had no clearance to know anything now) and was deposited at the same spot as before.
Clint said only, "As Tony's PA you'll get an apartment at the Tower." Darcy just looked down. It was easy to feign disappointment when she was in so much pain. The excitement that she was going to get to do both things had given her an adrenaline boost but now it was wearing off and pain licked up her leg, blossoming like a sun in her side. The reality of the situation hadn't even hit yet.
"I... guess that's some consolation for giving up my gun." Natasha didn't say anything as they drove her back to the hospital but Darcy was half unconscious and covered in sweat. The nurse came by with pain pills and checked her sutures, they were fine but all the excitement had her bleeding through the tissue-thin skin grafts on her leg. Once changed she fell into a dreamless sleep.
She was woken up by the loud whispering that Jane, Bruce and Tony were carrying on. Tony asked her, "So Agent Lewis or Darcy?"
She sighed heavily, "Darcy Lewis, personal assistant, if you'll have me Tony."
Jane grinned, Tony grabbed the paperwork from the bedside cabinet and Bruce handed her a pen. "I suppose you'll do as my assistant." he winked and quirked a smile. "Now we have to make it official."
As Darcy skimmed through the papers and signed they poured champagne that she couldn't have. Typical.
"So now I can tell you about the perks," Tony was so excited and it made her tired to see him so hyper. And she fell back asleep while Bruce tried distracting him with getting some lunch. Darcy never did hear about the perks that day, it felt like she had imagined the whole deep cover assignment and like she really had been fired. Darcy saw in her minds' eye the anticipated path slip away dissolving into mists as she had when her mother died and her life had changed forever. As it had when Thor had landed and brought with him the concerns of gods and alien invasions.
Later in the evening when Darcy was packing up her things all the flowers had mostly died, except for a few potted ones. She had the option to get discharged from the hospital the next day but didn't feel like she could take one more night of hospital smell. Even with floral aromas the underlying antiseptic chemicals sting was stronger after returning. The movies, books, the robes everything went into suitcases Jane had brought for her things. Jane had persuaded her to let her spend the night at Darcy's apartment.
They were finally in the hallway to her apartment and they found the door was open. Inside most of Darcy's things were missing, so she pulled her taser out of her purse and pushed Jane outside locking her out and checked the apartment methodically. In the bedroom she found Steve and Bruce moving her furniture, "If I'd had my gun I would have shot you two!" she yelled heart pounding despite the relief.
"Well its a good thing I'm indestructible." said Bruce, smiling.
"Should you be walking?" worried Steve. Jane came through the door with Darcy's wheelchair.
"No she's probably bleeding again. Damnit you guys were supposed to be done!"
They smiled sheepishly as Darcy rolled her eyes. Jane explained that Pepper had given her an apartment but it wasn't ready yet and the guys were just helping her move into Jane's apartment for the interim. Darcy was too tired to argue. But she did say thanks. Jane pitched in clearing out the last of the toiletries and checking the closet for stray items. Darcy shooed her and retrieved her spare gun from the safe at the back of the closet. Then she took out the extra gun from the hole under her bed. The guys were watching her warily.
"Don't you think thats a bit much?" Bruce was frowning and staying well away.
"What? they're not SHIELD issued, they're mine." She put them in a reinforced metal suitcase that she dragged out from under the kitchen sink, inside she had a collection of knives and space for the two guns.
"Remind me never to sneak up on you." mumbled Steve but he was smiling down at her and reaching for the suitcase. Darcy growled at him and clutched it to herself.
"Darcy!" reprimanded Jane. Darcy relented and handed over the suitcase.
"Sorry for growling at you Steve."
"You're safe now Darcy." Her name on his lips persuaded her as he took her little arsenal while the perfect view of his ass in his flat front khakis distracted her. Sometimes wheelchairs were awesome. She could probably identify every single team member just from their stride and a picture of their asses.
Bruce had taken the last box of things down to the truck that Happy was driving and it was close to midnight when they finally left the apartment. When they got to Stark Tower Darcy was asleep and Jane had to wake her up. She collapsed back into her wheelchair.
"Where's my suitcase?"
"Steve's got it, he'll take it up to my apartment." Darcy couldn't really argue she felt like crap warmed over and couldn't remember the last time she'd had her painkillers. Jane helped her change and tucked her in.
It had been a long, circuitous and bumpy road to where Darcy was now. Yeah Jane and Pepper had been watching over her in their own ways like overprotective parents. Yeah the team had been fussing over her but somehow it seemed ok now that she knew she had a purpose again. Protect the vulnerable ones, be the last line of defense. And that last lesson Phil had imparted: "keep trying and don't expect backup."
I am the backup. It should have scared her but somehow it didn't. Her first day of being a civilian in over six months and Darcy Lewis was living in a skyscraper with like the best job of anyone in her graduating class. Yeah she was winning at life.
There are literally tons of Easter eggs in here ;)
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