heroes and thieves
chapter nine - fools like me (part III)


She meets Kiyotaka and Madoka in the hallway the next evening, carrying a bouquet of bright yellow daylilies in one hand and a thick hardback novel in the other. Kiyotaka smiles when he sees her approaching the door, calling to her from halfway up the hallway. "How was your first day of work, Yui-chan~?"

Madoka makes a face at her husband. "Don't yell! You'll disturb the patients!"

Yui waits until she's closer to respond, smiling politely at the couple. "It was very pleasant, thank you," she answers, with a nod at Madoka. "I'm very happy with it."

"That's good. I heard you had the fastest typing speed ever recorded in our tests." The older woman shakes her head, sighing. "Somehow I'm still unable to do much more than thirty words a minute…"

"Was…" Yui glances to Kiyotaka. "... was Narumi-san's surgery… a success?"

"It's a little too early to tell, but there were no unexpected complications." He motions to the door. "He's resting now, if you'd like to visit. Madoka and I are going to get some coffee."

"We are?"

"Yesssss," he says, hooking his arm through his wife's and tugging - hard - "we are!"

"Kiyotaka - urgh!"

Yui watches, dumbfounded, as Kiyotaka practically drags Madoka away from the door and down the hall in the direction of the elevator. She feels a little sorry for Madoka, but now that they're gone…

She swallows, stands up straight, and tucks the heavy book she's carrying under one arm. She knocks softly on Ayumu's door twice, but there's no response. When she cautiously slides the door open a few inches and peeks inside, she finds it almost dark, save the soft glow of an IV machine on the left side of his bed. She wonders if he's sleeping, but…

"Narumi-san?" she ventures, quietly. "It's… me."

"I know." His voice is hoarse, but his tone is gentle. "Come in."

She does, quietly shutting the door behind her. In the dark she fumbles to deposit the lilies in the waiting vase on his table and place the book on the other side, but she manages not to spill anything or knock over the rest of the books that have been piled there. When she comes to the side of his bed, she sees him lying still, almost flat, his head and shoulders propped up by pillows. There are IVs attached to his right wrist, and the sheets are pulled up to cover his legs and most of his body. "Narumi-san," she breathes again, looking down at him, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired," he murmurs. "And sore."

"Your leg...?"

"Unlike my arm, I can still feel everything in my leg. As soon as I came out of the recovery room, I was in pain." He exhales, turning his head on the pillows to face her. "But whatever's in this IV is helping."

She smiles. "Morphine, probably."

"Ah." He looks up at her. "Come here."

"... huh?"

"Sit." He pats the bed with his right hand. "Or - actually, lie down. I'm not strong enough to sit up right now."

"Wh - why… would you want me to…" She feels heat creep up into her face, and she wrings her hands together. "Is there… even enough room for me to…?"

"Yes, there's room. And I've been waiting for you to get here since I woke up two hours ago. So the least you can do is keep me company."

Yui hesitates, but she doesn't want to argue with him - not now. She cautiously moves to sit on the edge of his bed, but when she looks down into his face she sees him wearing an annoyed expression. She feels her blush intensify, but she carefully shifts on the bed to lie down beside him, keeping as close to the edge as possible. There's a long pause, the silence in his room only broken by the dull hum of the IV machine, and then he exhales. "That's better."

She clears her throat, pressing her head into one of his pillows. "Your brother said that… the surgery went well."

"So I'm told." He's watching her, his brown eyes fixed on hers, and she wonders if there's something he wants to say - but should he even be awake right now? He looks tired, and she thinks she sees dark circles under his eyes. "I'll start physical therapy on my leg as soon as the incisions heal."

"Will you still be working on your arm…?"

"Yes. Both at once." He tries to clear his throat, but his voice is still hoarse, not quite what she's used to. "My leg was degrading at a much slower rate, thanks to the medication I started taking a few months ago. I still had feeling, but not much movement. With the repairs made to my nerve endings, I should be able to regain some mobility. But it's harder to recover mobility in a leg than an arm, or something like that… I don't remember what they said."

"It's because of the difference in mass," she says, softly. "And Narumi-san's leg wasn't moved as much as his arm, after he came to the hospital, so…"

"If you say so. You're the expert on my health, after all."

She sighs. "That's not really it…"

"Hn. Come closer."

"Wh - what?!"

"I said," he starts, and reaches out to take her by the shoulder, "come closer. I'm not infectious."

"B - but…" she murmurs, but Ayumu's asking her to lie beside him on his bed, closer than she's ever been to him before, and does she really want to protest? No, actually, she does not. So she obeys, moving until she has no choice but to touch him, her shoulder and arm pressing to his. "Is that okay?" she asks quietly.

"It'll do." She hears him exhale. "You're the only person who has bothered to touch me in months. Everyone else seems to think I'm contagious. Neesan hasn't hugged me in almost a year."

"Oh… I'm sorry…"

"It's fine. I brought it on myself. I was acting cold to everyone, after all."

"But even so… that doesn't mean that Narumi-san shouldn't be hugged, every once in a while. So many people care about him, so…" She swallows, trying to summon up all her courage. "Would it… make you feel any better, if I - ?"

"Hm. Here." He shifts in bed, raising his right arm, and she thinks she understands what he's getting at. Her heart starts to pound, but she moves closer to him anyway, rolling to lie on her side with her head resting beside his. He stretches his arm around her back, and when his hand settles on her shoulder and stays there, she feels heat rise up into her cheeks. "Hm," he murmurs, "that's…"

"Is it - is it okay, for me to be this close, right now?" She barely recognizes her own voice, unsteady and high-pitched. "I'm not going to hurt you, am I?"

"No. You won't. This is much better." In the low light, she can see his eyes drop from her face to below her neck, and she realizes that the front of her blouse has shifted down quite a bit -

"Narumi-san!" She yanks up her shirt. "Were you - ?!"

"Much better," he murmurs, with a low chuckle. "I didn't realize you had anything to offer, in that department."

"You - y - you…" Yui's face is on fire. "Narumi-san shouldn't be looking at… me, like that…"

"You're the one who wore that shirt."

"You're the one who told me to lie in bed with you!"

"Now, now. Calm - " He coughs, suddenly, turning his head away, and she forgets all about her embarrassment. She watches him, worried, but he doesn't cough again, looking back to her with a soft sigh. "That hurt," he mutters, hoarsely.

"Are you alright…?"

"Fine." His eyes meet hers. "Sorry."

"It's alright…" She manages a smile. "I'm just a little nervous, being this close to you, so… I think I overreacted…"

"Why would you be nervous?"

Her cheeks grow warm again. "Well… I've… um…"

He lifts an eyebrow. "Never been this close to me?"

"R - right…"

"Hn. Well, get used to it. We'll be like this a lot more often from now on."

She gapes at him. "... are you delusional, Narumi-san?"

"No. Drugged, but not delusional."

"Is there really a difference…?"

"Listen," he begins, his voice low, and she immediately stills. She's always understood the importance of this word - that when he says it, it's because he's about to tell her something important, something she won't want to miss. And even now, while he's half-asleep and attached to an IV, she knows the words he's about to speak will have meaning of some kind. "I granted you a wish, once," he tells her, his eyes fixed on hers, dark and serious in the low light. "Now will you do the same for me?"

"A - anything," she returns, eagerly, perhaps a little too quickly, but what does it matter? She would do anything for him. She learned German, gave up hacking, and became educated in the field of gene therapy for him. What wouldn't she do? "If there is anything I can do, please… just ask."

"I'm planning on it." She sees his lips twitch, as if he's trying to hold back a smile. "But you have to promise not to say no."

"Why would I…?" She pauses, blinking. "It's - it's not going to be anything - weird, is it? It's - it's bad enough that you looked down my shirt, Narumi-san, but - "

"No. Nothing weird." This time she knows he's trying to keep the smile off of his face. "You're the one with weird wishes. Mine are far more practical."

She sighs. "Fine, then… what is it?"

The room is silent for a moment, and then he speaks, his voice warm and sincere, and at the sound of the three very simple words that escape his mouth, Yui thinks her heart is going to burst. "Stay with me."

She doesn't say anything at first. A thousand thoughts run through her mind, and there are a thousand ways she could respond. But then she realizes he is still looking at her, watching her, and she swallows and inhales and blurts out the very first thing that makes it from her brain to her mouth: "I will be happy to grant your wish, Narumi-san."

"... ah." The smile finally appears. "That was easy."

"I was already planning on staying, so…"

"Before I asked? Hm. That's quite an assumption to make about my feelings."

"Even at a serious moment like this, you're joking about everything…" She sighs again, wondering if he can hear her heart beating, considering how loud it is; she feels him shift in the bed and tighten his arm around her back, and after just a second of consideration she moves closer to him, burying her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder. He exhales, apparently surprised, but all she wants is this, right now. Uncertainty be damned - this is as much of a confession as she will ever get out of him, and it doesn't matter what kind of drugs he's on. "Narumi-san," she murmurs, "you didn't have to ask me to stay. I told you… nothing is more important than being with you…"

"Still. I wanted to hear you agree to it." She's surprised by how close his voice is to her, now - how much richer it sounds, even though his words are still hoarse and occasionally weak. "I needed to know if you meant it."

"I really don't lie very often…" She closes her eyes. His bed is more comfortable than she expected, and she's enjoying the feeling of his arm around her, the way her head seems to fit perfectly beneath his. "But… Narumi-san is sure that it's me he wants, even with everything that's happened…?"

"Mm." His breath is warm on her ear, and she feels his fingers begin to toy with a few strands of her hair that have settled around her shoulder. "None of that matters. You're here now. So am I." He yawns suddenly, loudly, and grunts low as he moves his leg. "At least… I think I'm here. This might all be a dream."

"Are you going to remember this tomorrow?"

"If I don't, I expect you to remind me." She hears a grin in his voice. "Just tell me I managed to get you into bed and got a good look down your shirt. It'll jog my memory."

She opens her eyes. "I swear I am going to hit you."

"You would hit an injured man in a hospital bed? That's terrible."

"Not if I'm provoked."

"It's still terrible. The nurses would drag you out of here kicking and screaming. No one would believe your story."

"I'm beginning to reconsider my decision to grant your wish…"

"Hn." He grunts again, and she feels his body shift in the bed; she sits halfway up, concerned, and sees him shake his head. "I'm fine. Don't move. My leg is just sore."

"Are you sure…?"

"Yes." His fingers slip further into her hair, and he pushes carefully on her back, guiding her back down to lie beside him. She settles down again, although it's with reluctance, and there's a pause before he speaks again, his voice soft, so gentle it makes her shiver. "I don't want this to end just yet. I've waited a long time for you to be here."

"... h - have you?"

"Yes." He looks at her with warm, half-lidded eyes, his fingers still wound loosely through her hair, and when he shifts on his bed again, it's to close the distance between them. He presses his lips gently to her cheek, and when he does, it feels like a lifetime of waiting has ended for her, too. She holds her breath, stunned, watching him, trembling as her face burns with a blush as hot as a fire -

"Hiyono," he murmurs into her ear, and she doesn't correct him. It is her name, after all, it's the name she wants and the name she needs, it's the connection to the person she has wanted to be all this time, the connection to him -

"Can I?" he murmurs, his gaze flicking to her mouth, and she realizes what he's asking. And oh, oh god, she prays he remembers this in the morning.

"Please," she murmurs, and she's desperate and shameless and she knows it, but she's wanted this kind of love for ages, wanted nothing more than to know that Narumi Ayumu loves her and only her, that it's real love, that they've defied everything, every odd in the name of it. And she knows a single kiss doesn't necessarily mean that…

But it does. For them, it does.

Their first kiss is short, so gentle it feels like a whisper, and does nothing to satisfy her hunger - or his. The second is warmer, longer, more meaningful - and then the third takes her breath away, because it comes with him moving closer, his fingers winding all the way through her hair. She slips an arm around his neck and holds onto his shoulder, gasping as he lingers on her bottom lip for a moment before pulling away, messy brown locks brushing against her forehead. "Hm," he says, quietly, as their eyes open, "not bad."

"Narumi-san," she murmurs, dazed and blushing, "if… if you hadn't just done that… I might have really hit you."

He grins, and she knows that it's all over, that there's only one thing she can focus on now, only one purpose she has for living - and it's him, just as she always wanted it to be.

He really does love her, after all.

"I'm tired," he murmurs, with a short sigh, his fingers still toying with her hair, his eyes fixed on hers. "And any minute now, my brother is going to come barging in here, yelling about something or another, and you'll have to leave."

"Do you want me to - ?"

"No. Not at all." He leans close again. "Not until I make up for some more lost time, at least."

She giggles nervously, but she doesn't have any objections. And when it comes to Ayumu kissing her, she doesn't think she ever will.


Yui doesn't have much luck sleeping that night.

It's nearly midnight when she hears the familiar chirp of her phone, and she rolls off her futon to retrieve it, her heart immediately starting to beat a little faster. She has to be at work in seven hours, but somehow she'd known that she would get a message from him, and she'd wanted to wait.

Was that a dream?

She smiles, laughs softly, and composes a message to send back.

I don't think so, unless you're asking about something else that happened today.

Her phone is silent and still for nearly a minute - and then it begins to ring and she nearly shrieks in the dark, caught completely off guard. When she answers, it's with an unsteady voice and a shaky hand. "H - hello, Narumi-san."

He speaks quietly, probably to avoid getting in any kind of trouble. "That really happened?" he asks.

"... yes," she answers, softly, and starts to wonder if maybe it was a mistake, if he hadn't meant to kiss her or ask her to stay -

"Good," he says, and her heart beats a little faster, a warm feeling growing in her chest. "Although I hadn't really planned on saying anything yet, I'm glad I did. Even if it was under the influence of morphine."

"So… you don't regret anything?"

"No," he answers quickly. "Do you?"

"Not at all." She smiles, cradling the phone closer to her ear. His voice just isn't the same, right now, hoarse and distorted by the phone, but she loves it anyway, wants to hear it even more than she already does. Something about the way he speaks just seems right, to her. "It made me very happy to know Narumi-san's true feelings."

"Heh. I figured you would say that."

"And now I know that the secret to getting you to talk is to give you morphine."

"... that's not funny."

She laughs anyway, closing her eyes, and rolls onto her back. "After some of the other things you said earlier… I think I have to catch up on my jokes a little bit."

"Hm. Maybe." There's a pause, and she hears him exhale into the phone, his voice growing softer when he finally speaks again. "You're really going to stay, then?"

"As long as you'll let me, Narumi-san."

"Good." She can hear the smile in his voice. "Tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow," she agrees. "Good night."

"Good night," he says; then, with warmth in his voice, "Hiyono."

She closes her phone, places it beside her futon, and closes her eyes. And as she lies there in the dark, she makes a mental note to ask Kiyotaka for a favor - one that involves changing her name again, for good this time.

She'd say goodbye to Yui, but she's not going anywhere. She and Hiyono have been the same person, all this time. The only difference - the only one that matters - is that the person she loves chose to call her one name instead of the other.

And truthfully, secretly, she's always preferred Hiyono, anyway.


Author's note: You might want to read my short fic "different names for the same thing" now... because it takes place after this chapter! I would have mentioned that earlier, but I didn't want to give anything away. :)

Thanks to everyone who's followed this or left reviews recently. I'm so glad to know there are still Spiral fans out there.