Sharing in Grief
Confrontation
c.1060 TA
It was three weeks after they had arrived in Greenwood that their flight from home caught up to them. Galion came into the private dining quarters where Thranduil's family, as well as Haldir's, had taken to eating in, wishing to avoid a crowd watch them. Surprisingly, though both were still crushed over their respective losses, the new baby provided a distraction for all of them and things were going better for both families than most had dared hope.
Legolas practically adored young Rúmil, and Haldir had to wrestle the child away from him a couple times saying he was his brother not Legolas. Legolas had only appeared amused at this.
Thranduil's eyes silently pierced the Galion's when he entered the room. "There is someone here who says they have to see you, Your Majesty. They say they are from Lórien." He said bowing slightly. Thranduil glanced at Haldir who paled slightly but did not say anything.
Thranduil seemed to think the matter over. "Later," he finally said, "I will return to the throne room in an hour." Galion bowed again and walked out of the room. Legolas glanced worriedly at Haldir.
"Do you know who it could be?" He asked.
"Not really, unless it is actually my aunt."
"Why would your aunt come?" Thranduil asked. "Especially if they are asking for me, not you."
"To get us back." Orophin said, eyes dropping.
"I suppose," Haldir started. He glanced at Oiolairë who was holding Rúmil. "It could be someone else. I do not really know their name, but it's possible someone has come just for Rúmil."
"For Rúmil?" Legolas asked confused.
"They wanted to separate us." Orophin said. "Someone else was going to take in Rúmil as their own. I would not have minded if they would have taken all of us but-."
"As he said, their brother tried to stop me from leaving because he knew his sister was taking the baby, supposedly. The Captain was there." Haldir finished.
Oiolairë's eyes had widened. She tightened her hold on Rúmil as if trying to ward off these others. This could have been because, as it turned out, when Legolas had said someone he had actually meant his mother when he had told them someone would come to nurse Rúmil and she had grown quite attached to the elfling. Thranduil had been hesitant at first about the whole thing knowing she might become unhealthily attached to another's child and perhaps even more grieved than she was previously, but Oiolairë had proved that she realized Rúmil was not her child and so far she seemed better this time than the past two. Haldir had tried to refuse her as well, but Oiolairë was determined to do what she could to help.
On Legolas and Thranduil's part, since she had started nursing Rúmil they had let out their tension little by little. It seemed having someone to take care of was actually helping her more than anything else could have. Now they were far more optimistic that she would actually return to normal life once more. Shared grief seemed a way of moving on far quicker than in the past, especially when there was a task to be done such as nursing an infant who had no one else to nurse him.
Thranduil looked thoughtful. "It could just be someone from Lórien and not have anything to do with the three of you."
"It could." Haldir agreed but there was hesitance in his eyes. "But no one wanted me to leave and take them. My father was hesitant until the end." A tear had sprung down Orophin's cheek and Haldir glanced at him concerned but returned his gaze silently to Thranduil.
Thranduil considered him for a moment. "Come with me," he said and got up. Haldir rose silently, making no protest, but Legolas was eyeing him with concern. Haldir followed Thranduil but suddenly noticed they were not going toward the throne room. They were in a more private place where little people came and went. "I said an hour, and no one but whoever it is will bother to keep time. Now tell me, what is this about your aunt?"
Haldir sighed. "When I got back, I asked my father what he planned for the three of us to do. I had not mentioned anything about returning here. My father said that the Lady would allow me to start working after he left, and that while I was gone Orophin could stay with my aunt and help her with our cousins. He added that someone else had said they would take care of Rúmil. All I know is that my aunt was very against me leaving with both of them, particularly to come here. When I went to the healers to get milk, they would not get it for me until the Captain interfered because they thought I was being ridiculous. They also seemed under the impression I was being forced to come back. I suppose the Captain did not help in that regard." Thranduil stared at him for a moment before turning away.
Haldir was silent, worried about whatever Thranduil was about to say. Had he done something wrong? But the Elvenking surprised him. "I am sorry, Haldir." He said. "That should have never happened to you." He leaned on the railing of an overlook into one of the gardens.
Haldir stared silently at Thranduil's profile, wondering what he meant. Thranduil seemed to sense this, or at least realize why the child was silent. "I understand sorrow." He said softly. "But if anything I have learned that family is all we have to hang on to. Without them we fade. To separate you three so quickly, it might have killed all of you." He spoke so softly Haldir wondered if he was actually hearing this. "Your bonds are important. If you take nothing away from all your years here- learn that. Family is more important than a lot of things, even running a kingdom. I never would have survived without first my wife and now my son. Your brothers may be keeping you from fading even now."
Haldir stood still for a moment before stepping to Thranduil's side at the rail. "Even with family, you can still fade."
"Yes," Thranduil said, "But I do not see you in any danger at the moment." He paused. "There are a lot of things that can happen that are horrible. Death just happens to be near the top. But even in things like death, you cannot dwell on the sorrow. You have to hold onto the things that still give you joy, and you have to deepen your bonds with those closest to you that still live." Haldir looked up at Thranduil whose eyes were distant.
For one considered not as wise, Haldir thought, he certainly gives sage advice.
"Hannon le." Haldir said softly. Thranduil looked down at him and smiled slightly.
"Glassen, but you have little to thank me for." He paused again and then sighed. "I suppose I should go find out who this is. Do you wish to join me? If it is someone that wants you back, it may give you insight."
Haldir considered it. "Part of me does. But there is another part of me that does not want them to see me at first."
Thranduil smiled wryly. "Then I have a most astute solution." He said and motioned to Haldir. "Come."
Thranduil walked into the throne room and sat on his throne. The person from Lórien stepped up before him and bowed their head. "And who are you?" Thranduil asked.
"I am Tauredhiel. I have come-."
"Your full identity," Thranduil interrupted. Tauredhiel blinked surprised.
"I stay at home with my children usually. My husband is a Marchwarden. I am from Lórien and I have come be-."
"One inquiry at a time." Thranduil interrupted again. This quieted the woman but he noticed an angry glint in her eye.
"Tell me, if you usually stay home with your children, why have you left them?"
"I have come beca-."
"Not why you came, why you left your children. Is there any to watch them?"
"That is why-." Tauredhiel started, but caught herself afterword and eyed Thranduil warily. He said nothing but watched her with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, my husband is home for a couple weeks so he watches them."
"You may continue now." Thranduil said. The woman looked even more agitated but she was eager for this chance.
"I came because there has recently been a kidnapping. My brother has recently Sailed and left three children in my care. They disappeared three weeks ago and after corresponding with one of those who last saw the eldest I was told someone from, ah, here might have forced them here against their will."
So this is the aunt. Thranduil thought. The way she said 'here' told him she had no great love for Greenwood either. His eyes glanced in Haldir's direction where the child's eyes told him he was furious. Thranduil still did not blame him.
"Who are these children?"
"Three boys," she responded. Thranduil wanted to roll his eyes.
"Names," he said.
"Surely you know if there are three strange boys in the vicinity?" Tauredhiel asked.
"I have thousands of subjects, any one of whom could be housing three children. I would have to make a search of it and that would take more warriors than I could spare. But I can give them names and if they happen to stumble upon the children somewhere they can bring them back here and I will send them to you. But first I would also need proof that you are their guardian."
"Have you no heart?" Tauredhiel asked. The room went deadly silent. There were usually a few Elves gathered in the throne room unless Thranduil sent everyone out. Most of the time, however, many stayed there to get news and other such things. They did not always simply pay attention to Thranduil but rather spoke among themselves. But that they heard, and now they all glanced at their king uneasily. "These are children and they need to come home!"
Thranduil's eyes had hardened considerably, but his voice was as calm as it could be when he answered. "If they were taken, I am sure you will receive a ransom note or some such thing soon and you can take care of the matter yourself."
"One hears you are a heartless soul but one wishes to believe otherwise!" The woman screamed, tears (of anger Haldir thought) springing to her eyes. The other Elves seemed conflicted between staying to defend their king or getting away as fast as possible, but Taenron was definitely his father's son and both had seemed too overly eager to defend Thranduil.
"You go too far!" He cried and stepped in front of the king. "You know not of what you speak! Maybe those three children are better off than with someone as heartless as you. Why did you want them anyway?"
Tauredhiel now appeared angry, tears now spilling over. "You! You took my children away!"
"Yours?" Haldir had finally had enough. He sprang to his feet and stormed across the room. "I was never yours!"
"Haldir!" She said throwing her arms around him like they had been separated for years and had had a far different parting than in reality. He pushed her off. His face was quite red and his eyes were like ice.
"Get off me!" He yelled. "Go home! I left Lórien for a reason."
"You must come home! Everyone is worried."
"Who? You? You are not worried, that is not why you came. Are you that desperate?"
"What are you talking about I have always looked after your brother. Now I want to care for all of you."
Haldir laughed. "All of us? Who was it that was giving Rúmil away and sending me off? Why do you wish to keep Orophin so much?" His question came out and he stopped suddenly.
Orophin, he thought. There must be something there. His aunt's eyes had changed with that question. That had something to do with it. Thranduil and Taenron seemed to have noticed as well, and they seemed to be thinking about it.
"It is worked out now. You can all come home." Tauredhiel said and Haldir watched her hesitant. What was it? What did she want? With three extra mouths, even with Haldir sometimes gone on-.
"Money!" He suddenly screamed. "Three weeks! Was that how long it took you to sell everything in our house? Perhaps our house as well! You cannot take what was left to us without us there can you? And you want me there to earn a living for you?" His aunt's face had paled.
"Your home is with your family, Haldir!" She said.
"Yes, and my brothers are here." Haldir glanced at her. "You still would not keep Rúmil, you would send him away. I know by the look in your eye. You have five children, keep what you have!" She grabbed his arm.
"Enough, Haldir, send for your brothers. You are coming with me." Haldir's face hardened.
"No," he said, "You cannot get me out of here. Not for another twenty-five years."
"That's why she came." Taenron suddenly said. "If you are of age when you return, all of your inheritance goes to you, not her."
"You stay out of this! You have done enough, they would have stayed with me if you were not there!"
"No, he just made it easier. How do you plan on dragging me away, in chains?" Haldir asked. "I will not come back with you. When I return, I will work to keep our family alive, not yours."
"Fool! You are a child, Haldir. You cannot make these decisions for yourself." She still maintained a bruising grip on his arm.
"No, he cannot." Thranduil's voice finally cut through and Tauredhiel jumped slightly. "But I am curious, what is it with Orophin? You are sending the other two away." His aunt's face flushed.
"I am the one trying to bring them home, where they belong! Not in a wood of savages that hides when there is trouble instead of confronting it." Thranduil's eyes turned dangerous then and any remaining Elves stepped up angry and then reconsidered and fled the room. They might have stayed and defended the king, but they realized that Thranduil was about to do a good job of defending himself.
Taenron noted the look and pulled Haldir away from his aunt to the side. Thranduil stood. "Have you ever faced war?" He asked, his voice might as well have been a glacier.
"I was alive in the last one. And I watched closely enough that I heard what your nation did! Fleeing the battlefield!"
He descended the steps one at a time making his footsteps echo with all authority he carried in them. "I suppose you listened to the rumors closely but little else. Heed my words, I have seen more death than you could ever know, and I have more heart than you ever will. You do not care for any of these children truly. If you did, I might be more inclined to your case. As it is, coming to my Palace to insult me was a bad idea. There are few who do, and most who do never make it out alive." Tauredhiel seemed to shrink as Thranduil stepped closer to her. "I suggest fleeing these woods like you think we fled the battlefield. But I warn you, anyone who heard those words might be inclined to show you what fleeing really looks like." Tauredhiel set her mouth and then tried standing straight again.
"They are under my care, not yours. I have a case, and I will take it before my Lady. I will win, and you will be forced to make them come back home."
"Your Lady has no authority here." Thranduil said. "This is my realm, and you are at my mercy until you leave."
"She will send our authorities to get my children."
"They are not yours. Their parents left them in Haldir's care." Taenron said.
"Even if you sent word to the Lady you could not do anything." Haldir suddenly said. His aunt turned to face him.
"And what do you know of it?"
"I will claim refuge." Haldir said. Tauredhiel's face drained of color. Claiming refuge in another Elven realm gave the person (Haldir in this case) political immunity until both lords (in this case one Thranduil and the other Celeborn) came to an agreement about what should be done. These debates could last for months or years or decades, and it was clear in this case Thranduil would drag it out until Haldir determined to go home.
"You would not dare." She said, her voice becoming a hiss. Haldir lifted his chin slightly while Thranduil's eyes held some newfound respect for the young elfling. "You cannot! I am your caretaker."
"No, you wanted Orophin to be a caretaker for you." Haldir said.
"You will come with me!"
Haldir glanced at Thranduil and started to open his mouth when his aunt lunged for him and put her hand over his mouth. His eyes glinted. Taenron looked ready to interfere but Thranduil slowly shook his head. "You are a reckless child!" She hissed. "I told your father so. But you will be obedient. Claiming refuge would do you no good. I would take your brothers without you."
Haldir stared at her, anger in his eyes, contemplating what he should do. Then, apparently deciding it no longer mattered, he bit one of her fingers and she yelped and withdrew her hand. "You might be able to try to take them, but my father's money still passes to me regardless." He said hissing. "And whatever agreement his majesty and Lord Celeborn would come to would still leave you with a fine if I do claim refuge because of you. And Orophin will claim the same. You cannot force us out of here. And if I have to I'll teach the baby how to say one word if it means he has to claim refuge too!" Tauredhiel looked enraged and she lashed out and slapped him across the face. He stumbled back once but glared at her angered anew.
"CHILD!" She yelled. "You are nothing more! Now come with me. I did not come all this way to leave you here!"
Haldir looked furious but his words came out calm. "I can give you an hour to clear the Palace before I follow through." He said and turned his back intent on leaving the room.
"I suggest you flee." Thranduil said calmly.
"What kind of father figure are you? If you teach children to act in such ways! Your children must be heathen!" There was, during these times of personal sorrow for the king, only a tightly stretched thread that kept his emotions in check. This woman's words earlier had lit a match that slowly took to burning the thread through slowly, and it would not have been much longer before it snapped. But with those words, she might as well have taken a diamond blade and cut through every nerve Thranduil had ever had and the remaining tendon keeping the thread in tack.
"My son is ten times the person you are!" Thranduil hissed. He drew his sword. Tauredhiel stepped back. "Leave, before I regret something more."
"You could never-." She started.
"Whatever decides our fates makes no sense when they give me one child and you five." Thranduil's voice was low. "Especially when you hardly deserve one." Tauredhiel's face then hardened as well. "If you do not leave willingly, Taenron will escort you at knife point." Taenron looked only too happy to comply. Haldir had turned back, just as offended at her statement as Thranduil seemed.
"I will leave," she finally said, "But give me what is mine."
"Refuge," Haldir called. Thranduil's eyes glittered as he looked over Tauredhiel's shoulder at Haldir who was walking back. His aunt appeared surprised, as if she did not think Haldir would follow through. Haldir's face had been wiped of emotion. He stopped in front of Thranduil next to his aunt. He pointedly ignored her presence and kneeled. "I claim refuge from Lórien." He said, his voice soft but strong. Thranduil glanced once at Tauredhiel who appeared frightened.
"From who?"
"My kin," Haldir answered. Thranduil opened his mouth but before he could answer Tauredhiel screamed and lunged more violently at the child. Haldir was knocked to the ground, having been halfway there, and she looked like she was going to start beating the child. Thranduil motioned to the guards in the room and they came running over and together with Taenron pulled the woman off Haldir.
"Get her out of here." Thranduil hissed. The guards complied, calmly escorting a kicking and screaming elleth out of the Palace. He extended a hand to Haldir who blinked and then grabbed it. Thranduil pulled him up, noting a few bruises on the child but nothing else visible.
"Are you okay?" Haldir stood there silent for a minute. Then his hands trembled for a second before he stilled them.
"I think so," he answered. He seemed to be mentally assessing himself before coming to the conclusion that any worse damage was emotional, not physical. He glanced at the door where the last of the fading screams were heard before the Palace gate shut. His head bowed then, probably from exhaustion.
"I will send word to Galadriel." Thranduil said. "I never fulfilled your claim, and it will save trouble if I do not. But I can relate the situation that she will hopefully understand. If she does not I will fulfill your claim, but for now it will be a last resort."
Haldir nodded slowly. "I never expected you to fulfill it." He said rubbing his arm unconsciously where his aunt had grabbed him.
"Come on," Thranduil said, "You will feel better in the morning after you rest." Haldir nodded, mutely this time. Thranduil's heart swelled for him, the king always having a rather soft spot for children, and he put his hand on the young elf's shoulder. "She will not be let back in the Palace, and none can enter without my knowledge." Haldir looked up at him before glancing back at the floor but not before Thranduil saw the tears building in his eyes.
He glanced around the throne room. They were alone now. Thranduil knelt down so Haldir was now forced to look at him. "You do not have to look so strong," Thranduil said softly. "Sometimes you need to let yourself fall apart so you can build yourself stronger."
"I have Orophin and Rúmil-." Haldir started, but he looked dismayed that one tear escaped.
"Rúmil will not remember this year or the next few. Orophin will understand as well I think."
"But," Haldir said breaking off and lowering his eyes further. Thranduil knew that he had been forced to become father not brother by circumstance, and he suddenly hated whatever evil force had taken this child's parents.
Thranduil did not speak but stood. "Come Haldir." He said. Haldir followed him dejectedly, and Thranduil led him without encountering anyone. They came to a small plain room with a candle lighting it. "Wait here." Thranduil said. Haldir was too weak to argue and sat on a chair without heeding anything around him. Thranduil came back, two mugs in his hands. "Drink," Thranduil said.
Haldir took it mechanically and started drinking. Beyond caring, tears finally escaped his eyes as his face otherwise remained drained of emotion. Halfway through the mug, his hand trembled and Thranduil took the mug from him. Haldir took no notice but was blinking rapidly. Thranduil found his fight against the sleeping draught impressive but the child was exhausted and his eyes fell completely not long later.
Thranduil drained his own mug and stood. He walked over to the sleeping elf and picked him up. He began carrying him back to his room, deftly avoiding other people. His thoughts strayed to the confrontation and he was again impressed with the young child's boldness and intelligence. He had been strong enough to now twice go against that woman's wishes without failing and had been quick enough to bring up refuge. It was something hardly ever used, and most Elves forgot it existed. Thranduil himself kept the information tucked away in the back of his mind in case anyone ever fled to his realm but not enough to bring it up against someone. Now he would remember it though.
He realized, however, that Haldir would know about it. Haldir had been in the process of being trained as an ambassador, and that would have been one of the first things of foreign policy his father would have taught him. What still surprised Thranduil was that Haldir had had the peace of mind to remember it. You will make a good leader one day. Thranduil thought, glancing at the now peaceful face in his arms.
He laid the child down on his own bed and pulled the covers over him. Another thought struck him as he left the room. If his daughter had survived, this was the kind of elf Thranduil would want to court, and potentially marry, his daughter. Perhaps not one of my children. Thranduil thought glancing back at the sleeping form. But he had better find someone worthy.
A/N: Refuge is a thing I came up with based on loosely similar laws. Sorry the chapter was so long. I couldn't break it in half nicely. Enjoy :) And Happy Holidays!
