Chapter 9

Feyre

The claws had slashed through the outer barriers of my mind. Only one wall was left – the last defence of my most inner thoughts. What the attacker had glimpsed so far were memories primarily from my mortal life; my father in his study, my mother going to yet another party, the joy I felt when I painted and the ingrained fear as I stalked through the snow-covered woods near our old cottage. But the real secrets, about the court of dreams, my mating bond and the glamour on the tattoo that made me High Lady, remained mine, as long as I could keep my adamant wall in place. My mind convulsed at the thought of that wall crumbling. Everything would be laid bare and my life, along with the lives of my loved ones, would be in extreme danger.

The walls of my mind seemed to close in on me and I scrambled through every bit of training I had had, but nothing had prepared me for this. Think, THINK.

My attacker had clawed his way through the barriers without pause, as if he knew that whatever bits and pieces he saw and felt in my mind were not the essential ones. Yet now he halted. He was playing with me, I realised. He knew he had me cornered and took his time scoping out the ever-weakening shield. No. No, no, no, no.
Feyre a distant whisper of a roar sounded in the darkness of my mind, I felt immense power surging from the bond and suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore.

I was surrounded by darkness. Soothing, brilliant darkness that caressed my mind, filled it and closed the holes in my shield. I let myself drown in the star-flecked night and I could feel him. My mate. He filled my mind, lending me his strength.

Feyre. Fight it. Push back. Rhys' voice sounded in my head, as clear as if he had stood beside me. I whimpered.

I can't.

Yes, you can. Use your power. His voice was steady and confident.

I don't have any more to give. And it was true. I had poured every ounce of strength into the shield and it still hadn't been enough.

Yes, you have. You have the power of all the high lords – your power. Not just mine.

I sensed the claws resuming their attack, viciously slicing at the renewed strength of the wall, but with Rhys' strength woven into mine the wall held, stronger than ever.

His words sent a jolt through me – he was right. I had just been wielding night court power against this – not any of the other talents that I carried in my arsenal. But I could use my powers, even in my mind. ALL my powers.

Good. Rhys mumbled as he sensed my resolve and I began gathering my strength. Hoarfrost crackled, woven with the scorching flames of the autumn court. A hard wind embraced the magic, urging it onwards and with a burst of energy I threw the magic out, at once repairing my shields and banishing those relentless claws from my mind. And for a few seconds, I followed that power, spearing into my attacker. The pain and hatred I found there slammed into me with such force that I nearly suffocated, and I only caught a quick flash of gold and teal before I was back in my own mind. A wave of relief gripped me as I realised that my mind was now mine again.

My high lady Rhys whispered in my mind, lovingly, but somehow strained too.

Thank you I whispered, wishing with every fibre in my being that I could fall into his arms and never let go.

It was all you, Feyre darling. The sweetness of my name on his lips sent a burst of pure desire through my body and I heard him chuckle, as he sensed the change in my mind.

Feyre he purred with a grin in his voice, letting his own desire wash over me.

Prick I retorted, because he knew exactly what he was doing to me – and he enjoyed it.

He laughed softly, but added We need to talk.
Yes, we did. Because if I had felt his terror through the mating bond as he had done with mine today, knowing that I couldn't go to him… The mere thought angered me to the point of bursting, but I couldn't let it consume me. Not with the king, Jurian and Ianthe downstairs.

I sighed. I know. Let's meet tonight at midnight.

Deal. You may want to try on some of those lacy underthings you like so much.

Oh wouldn't you like that? I purred back

His answer was near feral Yes. Yes I would.

I wanted him. Wanted to feel his tongue on my skin, his hands gripping my bare waist and pressing me to him. I mentally shook myself. Ianthe, the king, Tamlin, Lucien. Right. Reality awaited.

I need to return now Rhys.
I know was all he said but with our minds entangled I could feel the frustration, the worry the rage, that filled him, alongside fierce pride.

I love you I said and as he reached back across the bridge that connected our minds, back to the night court he simply answered and I you.

The emptiness in my head hit me like a boulder. Even the bond couldn't satisfy my need for him.

I opened my eyes and stared into a familiar scarred face – Lucien. The tightness of his body told me that he was on high alert, ready to defend me if need be. Genuine concern shined through his russet eye and I was once again reminded of the friendship that we had built Under the Mountain. As our eyes met, his concern turned into bone-deep weariness and I could feel the conflicting feelings rolling off him.

He pulled away from me, placing himself at the edge of the bed. I scanned the room and noticed that I was deeply entangled in my sheets. I must have tossed around quite a bit. My body stiffened at the thought of those claws and Lucien was instantly alert. I made to lift my hand, to calm him, but glimpsed swirling black patterns, stark against my white skin. Shit. Shit shit shit shit. My glamour must have disappeared when I focused my entire power on my shields. I forced it back into place and threw a quick glance at Lucien. How much had he seen? My arm had been covered by the sheets when I came to, but had my glamour failed before it was buried in them?

"What happened?" Lucien demanded, his voice tense.

Truth – I would give him the truth; or at least most of it. I needed an ally and the worry that I had seen in his eyes had been real, despite his mistrust of me. "There's..." I coughed to clear my throat and tried again "There's a daemati here and he tried to gain access to my mind. "Lucien stared at me, disbelief and anger darkening his russet eye, while his golden one whirred, as if trying to sense the daemati.

"A… a daemati… Here?" His voice was clouded and uncertain. Was it fear?

"Yes and an incredibly strong one." I scooted off the bed and went to the mirror across the room, frowning at the state of my dress and hair. If I went down like this, the guards would think that Lucien and I had snuck up here for another purpose entirely.

"It makes sense, I guess. The king always liked surrounding himself with powerful subjects to control." There was enough of a snap in his voice that I turned to him, hissing. "I am not his subject."

He cringed, "No, Feyre… That was not… I mean… Cauldron boil me, I know we are not exactly best friends, but I would never for one second count you as one of his subjects after…" his voice trailed off, but I could see the unspoken words in his eye; after Elain. I nodded at him, turning back towards my dishevelled exterior.

"It is odd though, the timing. The risk of exposure. The king is usually subtler than this. Unless…" Lucien's voice trailed off as he was lost to his own thoughts.

"Unless?"

"Unless the king was not behind this."

"It seems like too much of a coincidence that a daemati just happens to attack me on the day the king shows up here." I countered.

"Yes, but… No, never mind for now, we don't have time." I gave him a sharp look, but turned to face the mirror again. He was right.

"How long was I gone?" I had no idea how long I had fought inside my head. It could have been seconds or days. "It's only been six minutes since we left the receiving room, but we should get back soon. We don't need Jurian coming up here, sniffing around." I could have sworn that his eyes flickered to my glamoured hand, but he just rose from the bed, straightening his tunic a bit.

"Do you know who the daemati is?"

"No."

"Did he gain access to your mind?"

"No." I said, focused on sliding the silver combs back into my hair at exactly the same spot they had been before.

"No?" Disbelief clouded his voice and I turned to face him. His eyes were wide.

"No, he didn't" My voice was cool and steady, even though I was lying. The daemati had gone through some of my shields, but I had no intention of explaining that right now. It would lead to too many questions about what I hid in my core.

"The power I gained from the night court helps me defend against such attacks. The power is difficult to control, though." I added weakly, to cover the real extent of my powers.

"You… You can ward off a fully trained daemati?" Disbelief clouded every word and I shrugged.

"Sometimes. Today, I could."

"That's impressive." He smiled at me. Actually smiled. "What else can you do?"

He sounded genuinely curious and I sensed no strain in his voice or body. Interesting. I gave him a small smile. "Let's get through this visit without any of us beating the hell out of Ianthe or Jurian and then maybe we can start figuring out what I can do." A peace offering of sort. One I hoped he would accept.

He tensed as if he had forgotten all about our guests for a second. "Sure, Feyre." And gave me a lopsided grin "but if Ianthe puts her disgusting claws on me again…" "I will rip them off." I said matter-of-factly and he made a sound that could have been a snort or a small laugh.

I was surprised by how good it felt to talk this freely with Lucien again. I had missed him, and I felt so utterly alone in the spring court. Maybe… maybe Lucien could become a true friend. Maybe… With a last, satisfied glance in the mirror, Lucien and I made our way back down to the receiving room.

The king's guards watched us as we entered the room, but said nothing. I let my eyes wander, searching their faces for any sign of drain or hurt. I found none. Either the daemati was not in here or he had recovered enough to appear unhurt. At least he would not be able to enter my mind again, until his powers replenished.

"Feyre, there you are." Ianthe's sensuous voice was like a splash of cold water on my face. Lucien stiffened at my side, but stayed by my side.

"You two were gone so long that I was afraid you had fallen ill:" The innocence in her voice was too perfect. Did she know? "You do look pale. Is your head giving you trouble?" Oh she definitely knew. Scheming bitch. "No, not at all." I gave her a silky-smooth smile "The wine has to go somewhere, right."

"Yes of course. And dear Lucien is so protective of you. It is so nice to see that your little visit to the night court hasn't changed anything between the two of you."

My little visit to the night court? That was how she wanted to look at my escape. My lips tightened and an image of me, clawing at her too perfect face flashed before my eyes.

"It's good to have you back, Feyre. Maybe now that there are two of us, we can teach these spring court lords a thing or two." Her smile was positively serpentine. Two of us. Two of what? I merely smiled at her, and made to turn towards the seating arrangement that Lucien and I had used before. She caught my arm and looked straight at me.

"Feyre, I am sorry about your sisters." My body went rigid and she continued. "They should be here, enjoying immortality with you, with us." Her voice broke a little and her performance was so stellar that I almost sensed real regret. Almost.

I couldn't help myself as I said, in a low voice, "Enjoying immortality?"

"Yes, isn't being a high fae better than the miserable lives they had as humans?"

She had known the kings plans then. And she was dangling it before me as bait, waiting for me to latch on. Lucien's hand curled into a fist, and the white of his knuckles shone against his skin. I would love nothing more but for him to take a swing at her, but instead I placed a calming hand on his arm. A casual gesture to anyone but the three of us.

"And the risk to their lives?" I spat at Ianthe.

"I knew they would make it. You have told me so much about them. The wild, burning rage in Nesta and the quiet strength of Elain. They were perfect candidates. And they did make it Feyre. You can be with them forever, once we retrieve them from the night court. I did this for you, Feyre. Because you are my friend."

Her twisted logic made bile rise in my stomach and I wanted to vomit all over her perfect, grey robe. She dared defend herself. Dared say that she knew what was best for my sisters. I couldn't control my anger. Fire roared in my ears, looking for a way out. I was a living flame, ready to purge and Ianthe was my target. She must have seen my eyes change because she cocked her head to the side, a vicious smile tugging at her lips which seemed to say; Show us Feyre. Show us that power you hide within.

Lucien's hand touched mine, which was now dug into his arm. The coldness of it surprised me, and I realised with horror that my hands were burning. My fingertips had already scorched their way through his tunic and onto his bare flesh. It must hurt like hell, but he had still braved it. Had still laid his other hand upon mine, burning himself even more. My power sizzled out of me with a whoosh. I would not give Ianthe the satisfaction of taking her bait.

My blue-grey eyes were frosty when I said, "We are not friends." She pouted, but before she could open her mouth to speak I walked away, keeping my hand on Lucien's arm to cover the burned clothing. He shot me a look and I mouthed I'm sorry. He shrugged and led me to the chairs, to wait for Tamlin and the king. Ianthe, wisely, did not follow us.

Not five minutes later, the door to the study was opened, and the king, followed by a tight-lipped Tamlin, strode into the room. I tried to catch Tamlin's eye but he stared straight ahead, not looking at anyone. I swallowed my curiosity and moved to Tamlin's side. The king smiled broadly and a spider walked down my spine. His good mood did not bode well for us.

"It is a shame that we cannot stay longer – spring is such a lovely season." He paused as if waiting for a reply, but his words were met with silence.

I peered at Tamlin, but his face was unreadable and withdrawn. The mask of a high lord. I faced the king and found him staring flatly at me, no amusement on his plain, brutal face. I forced my face and body not to flinch, but instead meet his stare with an equally cold façade. I entwined my fingers with Tamlin's, stepping even closer to him and let defiance fill my eyes. The king needed to see that I would fight for Tamlin, for our love. He needed to believe that I was in love. So, no matter how disgusted I was by Tamlin and his actions, I had to play this right.

A small, cruel smile twisted on the king's lips as he looked at us. A cat playing with its dinner. If only I could snarl back and reveal the wolf within me.

The king's soldiers filed in behind him, and with that arrogant smile that I had come to hate, he just said "See you in one month." before turning to walk towards the door. As he walked past Ianthe, he inclined his head at her and said, with his back to us "Good luck with the ladies, high lord." And then he was gone.

The entire house let out a sigh of relief. Tamlin tucked me close and the smell of lilac and cedar enveloped me. I leaned into him, filling my mind with a different scent – the scent of my mate. "Feyre" he whispered, his mouth buried in my hair. I held him closer, reassuringly. I was still here. I was still with him. I was still trying to destroy him from within. "Come" he said, talking to both Lucien and me, dismissing Ianthe with a stare. I couldn't help it when I smiled gloatingly at her back.

We walked to his study and sat in the worn armchairs. Tamlin poured us a glass of wine and handed them to us, stopping a second to caress my hand. His forest-green eyes were weary and tired.

"I had an… interesting meeting with the king and I won't bore you with the details."

"but…" I started but he held a hand up, cutting me off.

"It has been a very long meeting" he emphasised "and I will tell you the important parts now. The details can wait."

I almost exploded. His dismissal was not surprising, but I needed the details too, if my presence here were to have any merit at all. Of course he did not know that.

Tamlin straightened, his eyes hardening slightly and I knew that right now, he was a high lord, speaking to his subjects. "Starting from tomorrow, Feyre will begin training, both regular combat training and learning the extent of her powers. Lucien, you will mainly be doing the training, since I have other things to take care of, but I will help as often as I can."

As he looked at me, his expression softened with a mixture of love and pain "the king demanded this. As a way to make sure that you are ready to aid him." I shrugged, actually pleased that I would finally be doing something.

"Jurian will join you every third day to oversee your training..."

"What?" Lucien and I said at the same time.

"That was the compromise. The king wanted him to train you daily at first."

I shivered at the thought of Jurian being my trainer and in that moment I was actually thankful for Tamlin and his stubbornness.

"We are to retrieve the book within a month and… Feyre I think that I might need your help." I flat out stared at him. He asked for help? My help?

He misread my look and believing I was horrified at the thought, he gripped my face with his hands, letting his thumb graze my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Feyre. You are one of the few people who have been there and returned. I won't force you to go, you know that…" I cringed a bit, hoping that he would see it as a sign of bad memories from the night court flooding my mind and not as a reaction to his touch.

"I want to help. You know that." I whispered, not daring to let any real eagerness shine through. He smiled at me, a devastated sorrowful smile.

"And… Elain." Lucien said quietly.

Tamlin's shoulders slumped as he turned to face his emissary. "We are not to touch her."

"WHAT?" Lucien exploded

"The king expressly forbids us from rescuing her when we go for the book. There are too many variables. Rescuing her might very well endanger the entire mission." Tamlin spoke with authority, meant to subdue Lucien. It did not work.

"Are you telling me that I have to leave my mate there? Tamlin, you cannot be serious. She is in the night court. They are…"

Tamlin interrupted, "Exactly! She is probably already under his control. We can't risk bringing her here." He looked to me pleadingly as if hoping I would agree, but Lucien did not back down.

"So when it's your love in danger, you force the entire court to roam the lands, looking for her. You force us to go months without proper sleep, to watch as you destroy yourself and those that care for you. Watch as she spins her web of lies to…"

"ENOUGH." Tamlin roared, his claws bursting through his skin.

"No. It is not nearly enough. She is my mate, Tam. Do you even understand what that mean? My mate! And I am not leaving her to a fate worse than death, cauldron be damned."

I stared at the two high fae males, in stunned surprise. I had never imagined Lucien snapping like this. And the things he said…

" . . ." Tamlin said through clenched teeth. His hands shook with the effort of controlling his power. An image of red paint, splattered on the walls and me quivering on the floor flashed through my mind.

"No. I have done everything for you, but you cannot expect me…"

A loud boom shook the house and Tamlin burst into his beast form, snarling at Lucien with bared teeth.
"Tamlin…" I tried, not wanting anyone to get hurt but he merely snapped his massive jaws at me and prowled towards Lucien.

"Your high lord commands you to obey." The beast said in a guttural voice, more animal than fae. I looked at Lucien, but where I expected to find fear and submission, I saw a spark of defiance, awakened by the mating bond. Despite myself, I was impressed with him.

"No." he said, his voice strong.
Tamlin roared, his anger bursting through the room, shattering glass and furniture in its wake. And then he lunged for Lucien's throat.