Chapter 9: The Shit Has Hit The Fan
Quinn woke up completely disoriented. She looked over at the nightstand and saw it said 4:00 but she honestly had no idea if it was AM or PM. There was no light filtering into her bedroom through the light proof shades so that didn't help either.
Immediately she panicked, where was Shannon? She jumped out of bed and hurried into the living room to find Rachel and Shannon curled up together on the couch under a big warm blanket. Shannon was sound asleep. There was a half empty bowl of popcorn on the end table.
Rachel looked up and smiled, "Hey Sleeping Beauty, I was starting to get a little worried about you, feeling ok?"
"I'm fine Rach, you didn't have to watch Shannon all day, why didn't you come and wake me up?" Quinn said a little embarrassed.
"It seemed like you could use a break, besides monkey and I had a great day together. We went to lunch, to the park, walked to the pond and fed the ducks and came back and had hot cocoa, popcorn and a movie, as you can see I wore her out!"
Quinn chuckled in amusement, "I think the 6 year old is supposed to wear the adult out Rach, not the other way around."
Rachel got up gently, carefully laying Shannon down and covering her with the blanket. She started to pick up the dirty dishes and mugs and Quinn followed her into the kitchen, "Want something to drink Quinn?"
"I would kill for a cup of coffee." She immediately replied. Her head was pounding and she was always feeling anxious for no reason these days.
"How about some orange juice instead, I haven't seen you eat in days." Rachel countered.
"I've been eating, I promise." Quinn quickly replied, she really hadn't been but she didn't want to make Rachel worry.
Rachel poured her a glass and handed it to Quinn, "Here you go, Vitamin C, can't have you getting sick with all the stress you're under."
"Thanks Mom." Quinn smirked at her friend. The blonde tried to pick up her juice but her hands were shaking so hard she was afraid it would slosh right out of the glass. She hoped the brunette hadn't noticed as she quickly set the glass back down.
She had always been so embarrassed when her mom used to shake like that in the mornings but now it was happening to her and she felt a level of disgust with herself. "I'm just overtired and stressed." She lied to herself pushing the thoughts away so she didn't have to think about it.
Rachel looked away before Quinn noticed she saw her hands shaking and said casually, "I am going to go jump in the shower and then go out for a bit, do you need anything?"
Quinn, still deep in thought just shook her head no.
"Ok then, oh Shannon has only been out for about 20 minutes and we didn't eat any dinner yet, just a little popcorn and cocoa after the park." Rachel headed off to get ready to go out.
She was glad that Quinn didn't ask what she was doing or who she was meeting, she didn't want to lie but she couldn't really tell her best friend she was meeting Santana without stirring up questions and problems.
Quinn waited until she heard the shower running and Rachel singing before she poured a very generous amount of vodka in her orange juice. She took a long drink and her hands immediately stopped shaking but the blonde didn't really notice, all she knew was her father's voice that was always in her head shut up and the tight panicked feeling in her chest relaxed and her stomach unknotted.
She chugged it down quickly and poured a small amount of orange juice in her glass and filled it up with vodka again. She eyeballed the bottle and was sure Rachel would notice how low it had gotten so she brought the level back up with a little bit of water. She would have to remember to buy another bottle soon. She put the bottle back in the freezer. Quinn quickly drank down the rest of the contents of her drink and washed her glass.
She poured a diet coke and went to sit in the living room until Rachel left for the evening. The blonde felt a warm soft glow that started in her stomach and radiated out to the rest of her body. She felt better already, more human, like everything would be ok.
Drinking made her calmer and then she coped better with life and wasn't anxious and life didn't hurt anymore. Surely that made her a better person, a better parent and a better friend. What was the harm in that? "I'll stop when all this divorce mess gets settled." She thought to herself.
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Shannon had woken up in a foul mood. She was not at all happy that her Aunt Rachel was gone and her Mama was home. She had promised her Mami that she would behave better but she was still very angry at her Mama.
She missed her bedroom, she missed her Mami, she missed her friends and her Mama was always crabby. She didn't like this at all and no one would talk to her and tell her what was going on.
Her Mami called every single night to talk to her before her bedtime but it was not the same and she was really missing her. She knew her Mami had been working a lot before they moved and wasn't always home for dinner or to tuck her in but Shannon remembered earlier, happier times.
The little blonde remembered all of them laughing around the dinner table and telling stories about their day. She remembered her Mama giving her a bath and washing her hair gently and sweetly humming a song or singing to her. She loved it when her Mama sang to her. She hadn't done that in a long time.
Bedtime was her favorite time with her Mami, they were always reading stories and books that her Mami had loved when she was Shannon's age. She would lie down next to her Mami and cuddle up feeling safe and warm as she listened to her story and tried to imagine going to all those far off places. They would giggle about special things and her Mami would kiss her and tuck her in and whisper, "Te amo mi corazon." She still said it every night but it was different over the phone.
Now her Mami was not with them and her Mama never paid any attention to her except to tell Shannon to be quiet or behave. Only her Aunt Rachel was acting normal but even she kept telling her to be a little quieter and not wake her Mama up.
It seemed to Shannon that her Mama was always in that stupid room. How much sleep did one person need anyway?
Shannon sat alone in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. "We never used to have stupid cereal for dinner." She thought angrily. She was already in her pajamas since the last time she had snapped at her mother. Quinn was sending Shannon to bed early for talking back to her. They had been on each other's nerves all evening and both blondes were very unhappy with each other.
Quinn sat in the living room and glanced in the kitchen again, "What is taking her so long; it's one bowl of cereal." She thought in aggravation. Her head was starting to pound again and her buzz was wearing off. Quinn was feeling anxious again and she wanted a few glasses of wine before Rachel got home.
Shannon needed to get to bed already so she could relax and unwind. Quinn had also had quite enough of her daughter's backtalk and bad behavior to last a lifetime. "I know she doesn't act like this with Santana!" She muttered angrily under her breath.
She huffed loudly and got up and walked into the kitchen, "Aren't you finished yet Shannon Grace, you have been in here forever?" The blonde spit out.
"I don't like cereal for dinner." Shannon muttered.
"There are lots of little starving children that would be very grateful for cereal for dinner." Quinn said automatically.
"So send it to THEM, I hate it." The little blonde said under her breath, a Lopez to her core.
"I beg your pardon little girl, just who do you think you're talking to? You have been awful ever since you woke up and I don't appreciate your attitude. Perhaps you would just like to go to bed hungry tonight?" Quinn said sternly.
Shannon looked up angrily, stormy brown eyes meeting stormy hazel eyes, "Mami hasn't called yet, it's not bedtime!"
"Bedtime is when I say it is!" Quinn stood there with her arms crossed glaring at her misbehaving daughter. She was really getting fed up with all the attitude she got every time they talked.
"BEDTIME IS WHEN MAMI CALLS!" Shannon yelled banging her hands on the table and knocking the bowl of cereal and milk over, spilling it on the table and onto the kitchen floor.
Quinn was livid. Shannon had never screamed at her before and she would not tolerate it. Now she had a mess to clean up as well.
Quinn grabbed her little girl by her upper arm and ripped her out of her chair and dragged her to her bedroom. "You are being a very bad girl!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.
Shannon had never seen her Mama like this. She was the princess. Her mothers had never really yelled at her like that in her entire life and it scared her, "Mama I'm sorry, I won't be bad anymore, I promise. Mama please you're hurting my arm. "
Quinn was so angry she couldn't even think; everything in her life was going wrong. Her daughter hated her, Santana hated her and her life was in ruins. She was a failure at everything she did. What had happened to the life she had planned, the one she wanted?
She pulled Shannon over to her bed and she sat down quickly and pulled Shannon over her knees. She pulled down her pajama bottoms and started spanking her baby hard.
In the back of her mind, she knew she was overreacting but she couldn't stop herself. Quinn had lost control of her life and was taking it out on her daughter's backside.
Shannon was kicking and crying as her mother lectured her between spanks, "You are 6 years old young lady and I am not putting up with you acting like a baby anymore." Her hand was relentless.
"I'm sorry Mama, I'll be good, I promise." She cried and squirmed. "Please Mama stop, please it hurts!" She desperately threw a hand back to try to cover her sensitive bottom.
Quinn stopped mid-spank and looked down at her baby and saw her backside was bright red and she felt sick. She couldn't believe she had hit her child in anger. Quinn just sat there shocked as Shannon sobbed and hiccupped over her lap.
Not trusting herself to speak, she gently pulled Shannon's pajama bottoms up over her sore looking backside. She stood her little blonde daughter back on her feet. Shannon stood there in shock with both hands on her bottom and large fat tears rolling down her cheeks, her bottom lip stuck out and her chin quivered.
She had never been hit before by either of her mothers. No one had ever yelled at her like that and her Mama just said she was bad.
Quinn said quietly, "You need to go to bed now."
Quinn watched in despair as Shannon crawled into her bed sobbing and sniffling quietly. She knew she should say something, do something but she was afraid to touch Shannon again, afraid of losing control again. She waited until Shannon was in bed and turned off the lights and shut her door without saying a word, still in shock.
Shannon lay on her tummy clutching Moose and blankie and cried, "Mama didn't say goodnight or I love you Moose." The little blonde cried herself to sleep holding the only friend she had left in the world.
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Quinn just stood in the hallway outside her daughter's bedroom door. She couldn't believe she had hit her daughter when she was out of control. She and Santana had both been spanked as children and they swore they wouldn't use corporal punishment on their children.
All her insecurities about failing Beth and being a bad mother rushed over her and she ran to the bathroom just barely making it before retching.
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Rachel and Santana had spent a few hours talking and trying to come up with a plan on how to confront Quinn without scaring her off. Santana had found a counselor who specialized in addictions and she had given her some sobering statistics. She was feeling hopeless before Rachel arrived but it was hard to stay that way around Rachel Barbra Berry and her boundless optimism.
Rachel got home to a quiet and dark house. She peeked in on Shannon who was sound asleep at least an hour before her normal bedtime. It was curious to say the least. Quinn was already in her bedroom with the door shut and Rachel didn't want to disturb her. She decided to retire to her room and read some scripts her agent had sent over.
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The next morning Rachel was up bright and early making coffee and Quinn had an early morning appointment with her attorney and had already left. Shannon walked out into the living room clutching Moose and her blankie and lay down on the couch.
"Hey monkey did you sleep well?" Rachel said cheerfully. Her little blonde god daughter just shrugged her shoulders sadly. Rachel walked over and knelt in front of the little girl she loved as much as if she had given birth to her. "Is everything ok sweetheart?" She poked the little girl in the tummy and frowned when she didn't get a big grin like she always did.
Rachel reached over and felt Shannon's forehead checking for signs of a fever, "Are you sick honey?"
"No, I'm ok Auntie Rachel." She said quietly.
"Want to go to the park again today monkey?" Rachel tried a new tactic.
"Can we just stay here and watch TV please?" Rachel was shocked, Shannon never willingly turned down a trip to the park. She was really starting to get worried. "Maybe we can go visit your Mami, would you like that?" Rachel knew that Santana could get Shannon to talk.
Shannon pushed up on her elbow careful to stay off her backside, "Could we really Auntie Rachel, I really miss her lots." Her beautiful brown eyes so much like Rachel's filled up with unshed tears as she tried to be a big girl and not cry.
Rachel felt her heart break in two, "Come on monkey, let's go get dressed and I'll call your Mami and see if she can meet us for breakfast."
The two walked into Shannon's bedroom and Rachel went over to the dresser to find some clothes as the little blonde started to take off her pajamas. The diva found an outfit and turned around to walk over to help since Shannon always got her pajama top stuck on her head. She was chuckling at the little blonde's antics when she noticed a sizable bruise on her little upper arm.
"Monkey, how did you get this bruise on your arm?" Rachel felt a cold chill down her spine as her sixth sense started to tingle. She prayed she was wrong but the bruise looked suspiciously like fingerprints on the little skinny upper arm of her god daughter.
For the second time in 15 minutes, the little blonde teared up and tried not to cry. She put her head down shamefully and admitted in a tiny voice, "I was bad last night."
Rachel was having trouble breathing, "Oh god, please be wrong, please be wrong." She thought over and over to herself.
She sat down on the bed and pulled Shannon into her arms gently and lovingly. "Tell me what happened monkey, it's ok I promise it will all be fine."
Shannon tearfully explained to her Auntie Rachel the events of last night. She silently held the little blonde in her arms and rocked her until Shannon stopped talking and just cried, "Did Mami leave cuz I'm bad?"
"Honey, listen to me alright? You are not bad and your Mama does NOT think you are bad; she has not been herself lately. None of this is your fault, I swear it isn't. Your Mami would never leave you, ever! This is just grownup stuff Shannon that has nothing to do with you I promise you sweetie and I would never lie to you!"
Shannon was so confused, nobody was acting normal and she didn't know who or what to believe but she knew everything would be better once she saw her Mami.
Rachel helped her out of pajama bottoms and noticed bruising on her buttocks. She tried not to let Shannon see her looking. She didn't want to embarrass the little blonde any more than she already was. She grabbed Shannon's overnight bag and packed some extra clothes, her blankie and Moose. She knew that Shannon was not safe alone with Quinn anymore.
Rachel felt tremendously guilty about Shannon and furious with Quinn and herself at the same time. This was just awful, how could Quinn have spanked Shannon like that. Rachel had never really even seen her friends yell at their daughter. They were strict with her about rules and she had been punished before but mostly timeouts and being sent to her room. Nothing in their past would have ever led Rachel to believe that Quinn would have done something like this.
Rachel picked up her cell phone and dialed Santana's number, "San, I need to talk to you. Shannon and I are headed over to your place."
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The Latina felt an ice cold fury settle over her. She had heard the story and seen the bruises and held her baby while she cried out her guilt and shame believing herself to be the cause of her family's problems because she was bad.
Shannon had finally fallen asleep in her own room and her own bed after Santana had held her and rocked her for a long time. She tried to reassure her baby that none of this was her fault but she knew she didn't believe her.
She walked back into the living room where Rachel was seated crying softly, "San I am so so sorry, I should have been there, I feel awful like I have let you all down and didn't protect Shannon."
"This is not your fault Rachel, it's not Shannon's fault and it's not my fault. This rests solely on the shoulders of Quinn Fabray-Lopez. Want to hear the really funny thing Rach?" Santana was pacing around the living room her anger building, "The night Quinn left she accused me of being like her father when all along, she's the one that has been turning into Russell and Judy Fabray!"
Santana was angrier than she had ever been in her life. She couldn't even think straight. "I swear to god Rachel, if she was standing in front of me right now I would kick her ass and I have never laid a hand on her since we got together."
"It's not her Santana, she is sick and she needs help. I know this is awful really awful but Shannon will be ok eventually and if we get Quinn help…"
"You think I want that bitch back after she beat my baby girl!" Santana harshly interrupted her friend fury in her voice. "She can go fuck herself, I'll take Shannon and she can go drink herself to oblivion for all I care."
"I know you're angry San, so am I but she needs help and I know you still love her just like I still love her. More importantly, Shannon still loves her and needs her Santana, she needs both her mom's but she needs both of you healthy and whole and not in prison." She said forcefully glaring at her friend.
Santana knew Rachel was speaking the truth but she was still so angry at her wife she really felt capable of killing Quinn right now. It scared her to be so angry. She hadn't been this angry in years, Quinn and Shannon had enacted a calming influence over her. She stopped pacing and sat down on the couch, "What did you tell Quinn about why you were leaving?"
Rachel had a deer in the headlights look on her face, "Oh Jesus San, I was in such a hurry to get monkey to you I just left, I didn't tell Quinn anything."
"Call her Rachel and tell her to get her ass over here, we are going to fix this today, I am sick of this walking on eggshells shit with her. Let her see the bruises she left on our daughter and then she can look me in the eye and tell me she doesn't have a problem!"
Rachel realized they had run out of time and she fished her phone out of her purse and started dialing Quinn's number with a heavy heart.
