Destiny
Chapter 8
"I can hear your pulse" she whispered as we walked away from Destiny and him.
Tanya's head rested on my shoulder, her ear close to my neck. It can't be comfortable for her, her head bouncing with every necessary step I take to get away from that pain that physically made me gag. Why would Tanya cause herself discomfort like that?
"Oh" my voice came out in a monotonous tone as realisation caught up with me. "You like me" I stated. Fact. How had I not seen this before?
I pushed aside the voice that reminded me The same way Bella doesn't see how much you love her
Tanya froze, her arm was still linked with mine so her abrupt halt swung me round to face her.
"Yes," she stated, her eyes were heavily guarded. A mud fortress, I couldn't help contrasting them to Bella's eyes, just because.
I calculated this. Tanya likes me. I like Tanya. Tanya fancies me. I love Bella. Bella is busy fancying Jacob. Jacob fancies himself. Me and Tanya seem to be at the bottom of this love triangle... square... shape...
"So... wanna go out?" I don't know why I asked. It could be for various reasons: to make Bella jealous, to stop feeling lonely, to make Tanya happy. Ok, scrub that last one. I said it for myself; I can't even pretend I did it for Tanya. We're barely that friendly, rally. We're held together by a common link. It all boils down to Bella.
"No!" Tanya gasped, horrified.
Ok, I'm confused.
"What? Why?"
"I don't want your pity!"-She clearly thinks too highly of me-"I don't want you to go out with me because I want to go out with you. I know you don't love me. You love-"
Something in my face must have given something away.
"Oh" she breathed softly. Her eyes dimmed as she smiled, defeated."Not out of pity. Of course. You want to make her jealous. Of course"
I regarded her carefully. She was pretty, with her strawberry blonde hair, pale simple complexion and soft brown eyes, but she just wasn't Bella. My memories of her don't go back to infancy; she isn't in more of my family photo albums than I am; she doesn't snort when she laughs; she doesn't actually growl when she's angry. She's just not Bella.
"I'm sorry" I muttered, poor compensation for having just attempted to use her.
"Not as sorry as I am" she said as she hugged me. My arms folded around her and we stood for a moment or two, comforting each other's loss; trying to mend the others broken heart.
She unravelled her arms and, balancing on tippy toes, stretched up to kiss me on the cheek before walking away.
Dazed, I brushed my fingers over the moist scar her lips had branded on me. A reminder: I was hurting her as much as Bella was hurting me.
this is just a wee short chapter but it sets the next one up for a cliffy.
my bad ;)
read and review people!
