Double Date Disaster
Disclaimer: "Fromage!" – Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's European Vacation
Chapter 9: Final Disaster!
Hoboken, New Jersey
FLASH!
In a flash of light, four young mutants appeared in the woods, nearby the building that housed the mime convention. The four were out on a double date. The pairs were Alison Blaire and Longshot, the West Coast Misfits called Dazzler and…Longshot, and Althea Delgado and Todd Tolensky, the original Misfits called Wavedancer and Toad.
"Only on a Misfit date." Ali grumbled. "I don't care what you guys say, I will kill that nut John when I see him!"
"Ali, relax." Longshot reassured. "This might not be John's fault."
"You're kidding, right?" Althea shot Longshot a look. "It's John. Whenever there's a huge fire in a building full of mimes, he's involved somehow."
"Yeah." Todd nodded in agreement. "Hey Al, remember when Cover Girl and Scarlett took us to the ballet?"
"Oh yeah." Althea rolled her eyes. "They said that they wanted to give us some 'culture'. Poor Lance tried to use his tie to hang himself."
"Uh-huh." Todd remembered. "Well, remember during the third act? John leapt up on stage and started chasing around the dancers with a chainsaw?"
"Oh yeah." Althea snickered. "The nut thought the dancers were trying to put messages in his head to kill some comic book character."
"Yeah, we thought he snuck in and drank some of BA's coffee before he came into the theatre." Todd nodded.
"Let me guess." Ali grunted, crossing her arms. "He didn't drink a drop."
"Give the blonde a prize, yo!" Todd snickered. "That's exactly how it turned out."
"Anyway, let's just get inside and find out what's going on in there." Althea ordered with a sigh. "And he was doing so well, too…" Althea pressed the 'Quick Change' button on her watch.
"Let's party, yo." Todd chuckled, activating his own 'Quick Change'. Longshot and Alison followed. In a flash of light, the four young mutants' clothes were replaced with their costumes. Althea was clad in her blue-and-black costume with the wave emblem on her chest. Todd was in his green and white costume. Longshot was clad in his black costume with the yellow 8-pointed star on the chest and the brown sash containing his daggers. Ali was dressed in her white performance costume with the gold medallion and golden bands around her upper arms.
"Misfits Away!" Althea called. The four young heroes raced towards the flaming building. Ali fired a blast of light with brought the door down.
"Let's go!" Longshot pulled two daggers out from his sash.
"Be careful!" Althea warned. "This is some dangerous territory we're going into!"
"BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The four heard an insane Australian-accented laugh.
"PYRO!" They exclaimed.
"I'll kill you, you little brat!" Another voice growled. The four Misfits looked at each other, very confused.
"Huh?" The four Misfits mumbled in unison, looking at each other. The young mutants ran in and saw Pyro, dressed in his orange costume.
"Only I shall destroy the evil mimes!" Pyro roared, leaping on the back of a large man, trying to plant a sleeper hold on him. The man was clad in purple-and-pink armor with spikes on the shoulders, and large silver nozzles on the arms. The purple helmet revealed the man had a dark beard and mustache.
"Who is that?" Longshot blinked, pointing at the man.
"Hey…" Ali blinked, noticing something odd. "There's a lot of rock in this room."
"Yeah, there is, now that you think about it." Althea noticed.
"Get offa me, you stupid kid!" The man screamed, activating his nozzles. They started to fire…
"DOWN! MAGMA!" Althea screamed. The four Misfits ducked the streams of molten rock the man was firing.
"Hoo boy, the Aquilla girl is gonna be furious that someone's taken her gimmick, yo." Todd winced.
"Not completely." Longshot shrugged. "That guy don't look like no princess to me."
"Let me go!" The man screamed. "I must stop the mimes from polluting the waterfall!"
"They're working for Kathy Bates!" Pyro screamed. "I must stop from enacting their evil plan to turn the world's chickens into toejam!"
"Okay, we got two insane idiots fighting. What do we do?" Longshot assessed the situation, turning to Althea. The hydrokinetic sighed.
"Well, normally, I let the insane idiots fight it out until they get tired and fall asleep or get bored and find something else to do." Althea answered.
"But since these insane idiots are causing a lot of damage, we gotta stop them." Todd countered.
"Hey, wait…" Ali narrowed her eyes at the lava-shooting armored man. "I've seen him before."
"Where?" Longshot blinked.
"On TV." Ali remembered. "I was bored and flipping through channels. I stumbled upon this show about a company, and one of their employees was a man named Jonathan Darque. He was a lowly worker in one of the company's research-and-development areas. He started protesting the company's imagined offenses against the environment. They say he wasn't right in the head. I don't remember the whole thing, but he got fired and struck back in this suit of armor just like that, calling himself Magma. On one of his first outings, he was beaten by Spider-Man and Iron Man."
"Oh, boy." Todd groaned.
"Better not tell that to a certain Nova Roman princess." Althea winced. "She'll be furious that someone is taking her super-gimmick."
"Not completely." Todd snickered. "This guy don't look like no princess, yo."
"Oh, yeah. Good point." Althea agreed with a nod.
"Guys, shouldn't we stop them before somebody gets hurt?" Ali reminded. She squeaked when a fiery wooden beam fell from the ceiling and landed right near her. "Like us?" Althea heard sirens. She looked out a window and saw a group of police cars and fire trucks had pulled up.
"About time." The dark-haired mutant grumbled. "Alright. Longshot, Toddles, Dazzler…"
"Al, not on a mission!" Todd groaned. "I keep telling you that, yo!" He glared at a snickering Longshot. "Not funny."
"Sorry." Longshot tried to keep a straight face.
"Anyway, you guys try and keep those two from killing each other. I'll deal with the police and firemen outside." Althea ran out.
"Yeah, leave us with the easy job, Al." Todd sighed. Meanwhile, the aquakinetic had raced outside to meet the cops and the firefighters outside.
"Who is in charge here?" She called.
"Chief Roland of the Hoboken Police Department." One cop introduced himself, showing Althea his badge. "What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on? And who are you, lady?"
"Wavedancer of the Misfits." Althea told the chief, showing him her identification. "Listen, I can help you guys put that fire out." While she told the chief her plan, the other three mutants were trying to stop the fight.
"John, knock it off!" Toad snapped as he held his insane Australian teammate back.
"Lemme go, Toad! Lemme go!" John screamed desperately.
"Working with the mimes, huh?" Magma yelled. "I'll make you all pay!" He fired his lava cannons at Ali and Longshot, but the two young mutants were able to dodge it, Longshot thanks to his agility, and Dazzler because of her Joe training.
"Longshot! Use your luck powers!" Ali suggested. "Make this guy's cannons screw up!"
"My probability powers don't work like Wanda's, Ali!" Longshot reminded. "I can only generate luck that helps me. And when I do, I increase the chances of someone suffering bad luck!" (1) The blond extradimensional warrior then pulled a couple daggers from his sash and pitched them at the armored lunatic.
"Longshot, that power sounds like it came from the mind of someone who enjoyed messing with certain plants." Ali frowned. She blasted Magma with a laser blast, knocking him out of the building. Todd then heard a rumbling.
"Uh, guys…" Todd looked up. "We'd better get out of here!"
"Huh?" Magma, Ali, Longshot, and John looked up. Suddenly, a jet of water blasted into the warehouse through the roof. "YIPE!" The Misfits quickly gathered around Ali Blaire, who created a forcefield around the young heroes, protecting them from the rushing water. Magma was not so lucky. The armored nut was swept out of the building, screaming his crazy head off.
"Take that, ya jerk!" John crowed, cackling madly. The other three Misfits glared at the Australian.
"You are in so much trouble when we get home, John." Todd growled.
Well, well, well! Looks like the date is finally over! What insanity will happen next? How mad will Althea and Todd be at John? Will Magma return? Will Ali ever try this again? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
(1) – I think that's how Longshot's probability powers work. Very strange, I know. But keep in mind, one of his co-creators, Ann Nocenti, went on to work on a magazine for pot-smokers.
