Why Are You Running Away?

Years ago, when he had been still adjusting to his new body, when the hurt from his Tania, his sweet angel's rejection, he would have scoffed at the idea of missing six years of his memory. It would have been worth it, to return to his former life. With Tania, with his family, with his humanity.

But now?

Six years was a long time.

What of Christopher? What of Oliver? Joseph? Amelia? Could he...really forget them all? They were Prawn. They shouldn't have mattered at all. Sub-human life-forms that barely felt emotions.

How could he expect them be easy to cast aside, as if they didn't matter, when they were the only ones who had stood by him, believed him...believed in him. He had been crazy to everyone else, except them.

Tania hadn't believed him, hadn't loved him in this body.

She was his humanity, the idea hanging just out of reach, so tempting. So taunting.

Wikus stared at the vial that was held in Christopher's hand, and without his consent, he felt his head nod. His mouth, foreign and heavy, the clicking noises of human words said as Poleekpwan, saying, "I understand."

Christopher seemed to stare at him, as if searching his face for something Wikus knew he wouldn't find. His doubt, his horror, was buried so deep within his human mind that the other male wouldn't be able to see it on his Poleekpwa face.

"I'll just prepare the syringe," Christopher said quietly, turning his back to the other Prawn as he busied himself, his voice tinged with an emotion Wikus couldn't place but it sounded similar...almost like disappointment. Had he disappointed Christopher?

Why? He was only doing what he had always planned to do.

He would be cured. He would go home and then they would go home and everyone would be happy and home and everyone would be happy in their homes.

Wikus watched the Prawn's strong shoulders, the outer shell of his body shining in the artificial lights, which, now he looked, looked like a few hundred glow-bugs shoved into a tube. How odd. Christopher was the typical Prawn, he had learnt after years in their presence and really looking instead of just glancing. Christopher wasn't strong, or large, and he looked a little fuller now that he was eating properly on the ship, but Wikus assumed the other male would always be slender.

His shell was a dark black, but it glowed a goldish brown in the right light, and his hands were long and dexterous, grasping various instruments and joining them together as he readied the cure.

It seemed important now, Wikus thought eying the Prawn who was responsible for all of this, to memorize him.

He would forget him soon enough, this was his last chance to know him, really know him. His face was solid, no hint of human softness anywhere, and those large eyes should have terrified him, but now they pierced him, because he saw the disappointment there. The regret.

Wasn't that Wikus' part?

"Ready?" Christopher asked, holding a syringe in his hand which was not too different from human ones, except larger and heavy duty. The needle was flat, only a small hole allowing little liquid to pass through, but the small size was likely due to the fact they had to worm the needle between plates of shell to actually pierce flesh.

No, Wikus wanted to scream. It was all happening too fast, but Wikus nodded 'yes' anyway.

He held out his arm, like he would when visiting a human doctor, but Christopher looked amused, and shook his head.

"No, come with me." He motioned for the other Prawn to follow him and led him over to the ominous metal table nearby, reminding him briefly of the MNU, and he took a step back unconsciously.

A flash of something akin to sympathy was visible in Christopher's eyes, if only for a moment, as he took Wikus' arm and gently guided him to the table. "Lay down. This must go between your chest plates, else the cure will take too long to react and it's potency may be lost."

It sounded like useless medical mumbo-jumbo, and Wikus felt no need to doubt the other male, so he allowed himself to be gently pressed back on the table, and he closed his eyes.

This was it.

He was minutes- no, seconds - away from being human again. He couldn't wait to feel his toes again, be able to smile, to laugh...to scream.

He would scream.

He knew he would, seeing Christopher's face without any memory of the times he'd shared with the other male.

Would he lash out, try and hurt the other male?

He would.

He knew he would, and that was a hard pill to swallow. He would hurt the man who had only tried to help him, and as Wikus opened his eyes, watching as Christopher stared at him, that strange look on his face again, Wikus didn't want to hurt him.

"When I wake up," he said, quietly and seriously, "I don't want you near me."

Christopher's face seemed devoid of emotion and he nodded, but Wikus didn't want there to be any misunderstandings. There would be plenty of those when he awoke human again.

"If I wake up...y'know, without memory, I'm going to be scared and I don't want human me to lash out and hurt you."

Realisation seemed to dawn on the other's face and he looked faintly amused, in a saddened way. "Your human hands wouldn't hurt me. They'd be too fleshy and meaty to do any real damage."

True, Wikus thought, staring at the males hard exoskeleton. It would be difficult to do damage when human.

More relaxed now, he nodded, closing his eyes again.

He felt, rather than saw, Christopher hesitate.

"You will keep your eyes closed then, the whole time?"

"Yes."

It would be easier that way. He would simply...no longer exist as a Prawn, it would be like he simply faded away. It was easier than saying goodbye, easier than looking Christopher in the face as he lost his Poleekpwan features and regained his humanity.

"Goodbye Wikus."

Now that made him open his eyes.

Christopher was watching him with the emotion Wikus could only see as regret. Wikus tried to smile, but the result was that hideous parting of his mouth, revealing the weird mandibles and lots of saliva. Christopher seemed startled as they both began to laugh, the clicking noise filling the room.

Wikus stared at Christopher, as the laughter disappeared, and he closed his eyes.

It was over.

He was going home.

He could feel the press of the needle between his chest plates and held his breath.

Oliver. That little runt. He'd grown up, and, while he was still a little on the small size, he would grow up to be a good Prawn....Poleekwan. He would be a good navigator too, if what Christopher said was true.

Christopher...he had the brains of a thousand humans put together, and yet he had spent his last few years working on Wikus' cure instead of helping his people. Perhaps he had done that at the same time, Wikus didn't know, and hadn't thought to ask. He was scientific, and well versed in medicine, if the other various ailment cures scattered around the room were anything to go by. He would cure his people of all thiere illnesses, Wikus thought, with a hint of almost pride.

His people. Would Christopher know to take special care of Joseph and Amelia? No, he wouldn't. Not even Oliver knew of his attachment to the young couple, and they would be pushed aside with ever other returning prawn, treated with suspicion. What were they going to do? He knew they wanted a family, but being back on thier home planet, whatever it was called, would make it hard. The change in lifestyle would put strain on them, and without Wikus...

He wondered if they had his metal figures still. Would they remember him, after he had forgotten them?

The moment seemed to stretch on forever, and Wikus still held his breath. He had to say goodbye to them, he realised, before he didn't know who they were to say goodbye to.

Goodbye Amelia...Goodbye...J-Joseph...Goodbye Oliver....Good...goodbye Chris.

That was over. He could go now, unburdened by the thought of leaving without goodbyes.

He had made his peace, now it was time for him to go home.

Home.

Tania. His Tania, his angel. She was so beautiful. He knew she was beautiful, her hair had been what captivated him the first time. Why had someone so beautiful as Tania fallen for someone as hideous as Wikus? He had never understood.

She was married again now.

He had heard it from the guards in the district. Wasn't there something about...expecting a child too? It tingled int he back of his mind, the thought that she was happy now, that she was settled again.

Six years...gone. He wouldn't understand why she didn't love him anymore.

Wouldn't understand why she would likely scream when he showed up at the house they had spent their lives together in.

She had another mate. She had replaced him.

Could he really put her through the shock of him returning now? He loved her.

God, how he loved her.

He couldn't.

He couldn't do this to her.

The moment that had stretched on forever was speeding up, and Wikus felt the burn of the needle piercing his flesh beneath his shell, and his hand snapped out, grasping hold of Christophers and pulling the syringe away from his body. He ignored the pain that he felt as the needle left his flesh, ripping it lightly as it went.

Christopher gave a shocked exclamation and Wikus opened his eyes.

"I can't do this," he said, his voice hoarse.

He clenched his hand around Christopher's, which was still holding the syringe firm. The added pressure, and perhaps some exerted from Christopher, was all it took.

The vial shattered beneath their combined hands.

The milky white cure spilled between their clenched hands, and their skin seemed to ripple. The shell almost dissolved, fading away to reveal the pinkish flesh that was appearing rapidly on their hands. Wikus' alien fingers disappeared, and were slowly replaced with human ones, as the shell slipped away. Familiar human ones. They were like... coming home, but what shocked him was Christopher's. Christopher's hand had changed as well, and a human hand had been put in the place of the Prawn one, which had been there not moments ago.

His fingers were slightly stubby, very square and obviously male. It looked like exactly like how a human hand should be.

Wikus stared at the image of his humanity, and his alien mouth opened, the low click was a mournful noise. It was like the mourning of the widows of the fallen Prawn on earth. He was crying, in the only way the Prawn knew how to do.

Even before his eyes, the humanity that had gathered in his hands began to shake and fade, the shell regrowing painfully beneath the skin, forcing the pink flesh to peel away disgustingly, like it had years ago, except so much quicker.

He purposely held tighter, as he heard Christopher's pained exclamation as his own shell began to regrow, and together they bore through the pain.

Wikus was forced to watch his humanity peel away from him again, piece by disgusting piece.

Author's Note:

Thank you for the interest on the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed my 'cure' scene, I did try to make it different from the usual ones and put my own twist on it, as so many stories have Wikus refuse the cure.

In the next chapter, Christopher gets angry, Wikus gets a hug and we see Oliver once again.

Reviews are very much appreciated,

-Liaa