CROSSING THE LINE - Chapter 9: Confessions...

DISCLAIMER: Of the many things that are mine to possess, Rurouni Kenshin and his companions are not among them.

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"Sano?" Kaoru said weakly.

Her mind had already been spinning from trying to rationalize the situation for Kenshin, but now Sano would be listening too.

Her eyes darted to the tall man's face. His normally jovial smirk was missing--in its place was an unreadable mask. When she caught his gaze, Kaoru abruptly turned away--suddenly feeling very ashamed, but not sure why.

"Don't let me stop you. You had something to tell Kenshin didn't you?" Sano's voice was rough, but it was concealing a deeper pain.

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Sano had heard Kenshin's confession from outside. He had been moved, knowing how much guilt the small man carried with him. Sano wanted, more than anything, to comfort his friend, but before he was able to make his presence known, he saw Kaoru embrace him tenderly.

Sano felt like someone had used the Futai Nokiwami on him--crushing his chest, and forcing him to gasp for air. She looked like an angel of mercy, and she was using her love to heal Kenshin's wounded heart. Seeing them together seemed so right, and that terrified Sano.

'I never had a chance, did I? No, I never should have. He is the hero. He is supposed to get the girl in the end. I'm just the lousy sidekick. But if this is the way things are supposed to be, then why does it hurt so much?' he asked himself.

Sano had decided to leave, but he heard Kaoru's words to Kenshin. "You are in such pain, and I have only been adding to it instead of being a friend to you." There was caring and concern clearly evident in her voice, but what was not so clear was whether there was passion. And certainly, the use of the word "friend," as well as her overall tone, seemed to hold promise.

'Maybe this sidekick still has a chance after all.' His attention flickered to the tortured rurouni. 'I hope you can one day forgive me for this, my friend. You, more than most, know her worth.'

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Kenshin's normally soft violet eyes were set in an unwavering glare aimed at Sano. He was surprised the former fighter-for-hire had gotten so close without him noticing. Normally, Kenshin would be able to sense such a powerful ki, but what really shocked him was the man's attitude toward Kaoru.

'What happened while I was gone? Somehow everything has changed in such a short time.' The fighter's attention was solely upon Kaoru, and she trembled beneath his scrutiny. 'Sano certainly wants to hear what Kaoru has to say, but I'm not sure I'm as prepared.

'I have acted the fool in the way I have treated her for far too long. Can she know the extent of my feelings for her when I've never given her any indication? And once again, I must consider the truth of the situation--I do not deserve someone such as her.

'But when I saw the two most important people in my life locked in a kiss, I did not feel happy for them. I felt broken and angry--mostly at myself.' He noticed Kaoru was still too distraught to respond, and his heart reached out for the girl he had spent nearly a year keeping safe at arm's length.

"Kaoru-dono can speak when she is ready, and not before," he said firmly, facing Sano. He rested a calming hand on Kaoru's back, hoping to make her feel more at ease in the tense situation, but she shuddered under his touch so he withdrew the offending hand.

Sano's hand balled into a tight fist, and through clenched teeth he said, "Stay out of this Kenshin."

The years of guilt were momentarily forgotten, and everything began to look a lot simpler to the rurouni. "What exactly do you want me to stay out of Sano? Your betrayal or your harassment of Kaoru?"

Kenshin heard Kaoru gasp at the venom in his words, but he was still intent upon the other man.

A veil of pain covered Sano, but he quickly pushed it away. "I don't expect you to understand. After all, you've never shown any interest in Kaoru, so how would you know what it's like to care about her so much it hurts when you aren't with her?"

A sharp pang of guilt stabbed at Sano. He knew how Kenshin felt about Kaoru, and he knew how those words would resonate with the sword fighter more than she would ever understand. But he was also counting on Kenshin's inability to express those emotions to help him win the battle for her heart.

'Did I really just say that in front of them? Kaoru hasn't made a sound, and I can't bring myself to look at her. I guess she knows how I feel now--no going back. Baka, there was never any going back, not once I really saw Kaoru.

'And Kenshin, Kami, I'm striking at his very heart. I don't deserve the honor of being his friend. I may have just lost them both. Well, your move now Kenshin,' Sano thought bleakly.

Kaoru was dumbfounded by Sano's words. A warm glow filled her when he had said them, but it was quickly replaced by the bitter taste of anxiety as she waited for Kenshin's response.

Beneath shaded eyes, Kenshin spoke his mind in tightly controlled words. "But you have shown quite a bit of interest lately, haven't you? A few days ago you were pushing us to be alone together, and now it seems you want me out of the picture altogether. Tell me Sanosuke, what is in it for you?"

'Kuso! Does he know why this all began? Could he know of my plans to alleviate my gambling debt? But even if he does, he must realize my feelings for Kaoru are genuine.' Sano caught a glimpse of the fire burning in Kenshin's eyes, and took an involuntary step backward. 'He knows. He is doing the same thing to me that I just did to him.'

"You were spending quite a bit of time in the gambling houses last week--more than usual. Tell me, how was your luck?" Kenshin continued.

'What is Kenshin getting at, and why is it making Sano look so uncomfortable? I have a bad feeling about this,' Kaoru thought nervously.

"My luck or lack there of is of no consequence to this conversation," Sano said sternly, hoping to put an end to his dangerous line of questioning.

"So your debts have no effect on Kaoru then? You weren't trying to find a way to ask her for the money?" he pressed. "You didn't plan to lighten her mood by getting her and I together?"

'How does he know this?! I never mentioned the plan. Kami, is this the true extent of his ability to read ki, and study human behavior? I knew he was sharper than his rurouni persona reflected, but I had no idea.

'How can I possibly respond to this? I have already done too many things I'm not proud of this week. I will not add to the list by lying to them.' Drawing a deep cleansing breath, Sano replied, "It is just as you've said."

He turned to Kaoru in time to see sparkling tears fill her eyes. One managed to escape the pack, and left a shimmering trail down her pale cheek before splashing against her neck. Sano felt his heart plummet at the knowledge that it was he that had made her cry this time.

"And when I wasn't around to be manipulated, you decided to seduce her instead." Kenshin said firmly.

"NO!" Sano shouted at the accusation.

"I suppose it was more convenient for you." Kenshin's control never wavered, but a hint of spite intertwined within the words.

"SHUT UP!" Sano knew his words were false, but to have someone he admired as much as Kenshin saying them hurt more than he could have imagined. 'Is that what he honestly believes, or is he trying to convince Kaoru? Oh Kami, Kaoru!' Before Sano could see her reaction, he heard Kenshin continue.

"And it would make a good story for your gambling friends," he said with an eerie calm. Kenshin wanted to stop, but he couldn't allow himself to be on the defensive again, so he just kept attacking. "You could tell them about the way you tricked the Battousai, and the assistant dojo instructor into thinking you cared just so you could take advantage of them."

Sano was beyond words. He hurled a punch at Kenshin's face, but he never made impact. The smaller man was already floating above the man with the kanji for "wicked" on his back. He did not draw his sword, but as he returned to ground level Kenshin brought his elbow down hard against Sano's back--coupled with the inertia of his own attack--the additional blow caused Sano to stumble forward.

To his credit, he recovered quickly, and turned the momentum to his advantage--this time landing a powerful hit against Kenshin's ribs. His victory was short lived, when the redhead managed an inhumanly speedy recovery, followed by launching a volley of hits to Sano's already wounded side.

The two men were so embroiled in their fight, that Kaoru's screams never reached them. She watched in horror as they continued to trade blows, causing great injury to one another. She feared they might actually do serious damage while they were so angry, but she couldn't make them listen.

She screamed for them to stop until her voice was too weak to continue, and only choked out sobs could be heard from the huddled girl.

'Oh Kami, they are killing each other! What can I do?' She desperately wanted to avert her eyes as the two men she cared about most bitterly fought one another, but she could not. No amount of denial could put an end to the tragic scene unfolding before her.

Yahiko watched from the doorway. He knew something bad had been building, but he was still unprepared to see people he depended on in the midst of battle.

Taking stock of the situation, he realized that as angry as they were, there was no real power behind their attacks. Normally, Sano would send pulverizing punches hailing toward his opponent, while the lighting fast Kenshin would skillfully avoid every attack, before delivering a swift and final blow. However, the current combat was of the sort you would expect to witness in a street brawl--vicious, but almost clumsy. It was not a serious match between fighter-for-hire and assassin.

Yahiko breathed a little easier, knowing the dispute would not end in death, until he witnessed Kaoru's reaction to events. 'I don't think I have ever seen her so upset, and after everything we've been through, that is really saying something.'

"Kaoru?" he said as delicately as he could, and rested his hand on her shoulder hesitantly. His mouth fell open slightly at the raw look of agony her face held when she turned toward him.

'Oh Kaoru, what have those bakas done to you?' Anger boiled over Yahiko. Gripping his bokken tightly, the young samurai hurled the practice weapon with surprising force. Kenshin evaded it, but it smacked Sano across the shoulder. Both men seemed taken aback to see the fuming Yahiko and devastated Kaoru watching them.

Yahiko had planned to yell at them, but instead it was Kaoru's voice that broke the silence.

"Did you fix it?" she asked just above a whisper. Kenshin opened his mouth, but closed it again, finding no words to help mend the torn look Kaoru held. Sano bowed his head, looking ashamed as a trickle of blood seeped out of his recently bandaged wounds.

"DID YOU FIX IT!?" Her eyes burned with fury, but her voice still struggled to sound clear around the tears that choked her. "Did you beat all the conflict out of each other? Do you feel better now? DO YOU!?"

She stepped forward, and grabbed Kenshin's hand, forcing him to cup her throat with his long fingers. "Go ahead. Choke me, hit me, bruise me, beat me, but just fix me too, Kenshin. Just like you fixed Sano, just like you fix everything!"

"Kaoru-dono" he mumbled weakly. He had never seen her so cross, and certainly not at him. Her words did more damage than any blade could ever have hoped to cause his small frame.

"Please Jou-chan..." Sano pleaded as he pried her hand from Kenshin's so he could release her delicate throat.

Kaoru violently shoved Sano's hand away. "Please? Please what, Sanosuke?" she stressed the use of his full name as though it were a curse. "My money is in my room in the wardrobe. Help yourself since it is all you really care about!"

She paled slightly at the broken look on Sano's face. Pain drummed inside her as she took in both men. They seemed so thoroughly defeated by her words that she immediately regretted them. Biting her bottom lip hard to keep fresh tears from bursting forth, she turned and fled the room.

Sano fell to his knees. A thin line of saline traced along his strong facial features. Suddenly, the fresh and reopened wounds paled in comparison to the injury Kaoru had just inflicted. And the worst part was he knew he deserved every word.

Kenshin remained standing after watching the dark haired girl run out of her dojo. His eyes were fixed, exposing none of the emotions swirling within him. The only sign of the pain that ravaged his very soul were his nails scratching the already abused skin on his hand. Somehow, he just couldn't convince himself that the blood was gone.

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Kaoru ran through the forest with no particular destination in mind, although her path was leading her to town. Her normally swift stride was impeded by her inner turmoil causing her to weave clumsily.

She tried not to think. She just wanted to get far away from everything that had happened, but she couldn't outrun her own thoughts. In the end, it was her legs that betrayed her--she landed hard against the cold ground on her hands and knees. Her palms were scraped and bleeding slightly from the impact against sharp rocks and twigs.

But she didn't register the physical pain--not when a much deeper one tore at her heart.

'Oh Kami, what have I done? I didn't mean those terrible things. I just hurt so much that I wanted them to hurt too, or I thought I did. No, I wasn't thinking, that was the problem. I did the same thing they were doing. I just didn't use my fists.

'I've yelled at them before, but that was different. The things I said...' She shuddered visibly in remembrance of the spite in her words and actions from a few minutes before. 'were just true enough to be dangerous.

'Sano would never lie about his feelings to get money from me. And Kenshin, oh Kami, Kenshin!' Horror marked her face as a new realization gripped Kaoru. 'How could I have forgotten that only moments before he was telling me about a man killing himself on his sword? It wasn't his fault, but he was clearly haunted by it, and then I tell him he solves his problems with violence.

'When did I become so hopelessly cruel?' Kaoru's eyes burned as her heaving body desperately wanted release, but there were no tears left to fall.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know things just keep getting worse for the characters, but the light at the end of the tunnel is creeping ever closer! Reviewers, you are my favorite people ever! You have given me such insightful, thoughtful, heart-felt reviews that it has made this whole experience really wonderful. I am glad I started writing the story, and I hope that everyone enjoys it up to the very end. OK, now I'm going to list you all by name. You each deserve individual thanks, but please accept this for now.

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