Pacey quietly came in the back door, shoes in hand, trying not to wake anyone. He, however, wasn't the least bit surprised to see his mother sitting at the kitchen table.
"Mom," he whispered and she looked at him. "At least I came home."
"You're going to blow it, Pacey. And then where does that leave us?" She sighed, taking a slow sip of her coffee. "It took a lot to make it happen."
"I know that."
"We agreed that you couldn't come back, and this morning you show up on my doorstep grinning like a Cheshire cat, as if we didn't fake your-"
"Mom, I know," he interrupted her, not needing her to finish. It was bad enough that it had been done. He really didn't need to hear it come from her mouth.
"What happens when they come for you?"
"They won't."
"Won't they?"
"Pacey Witter's dead, remember? You made sure of that."
"If I hadn't you would be dead," she said sharply. "You can't come back and have a relationship with Joey. He might notice something like that."
"I don't care."
"No? Do you remember his last threat? If he can't have her, no one can?" Pacey nodded somberly, his arms crossed over his chest. "Get some sleep. You'll need your rest to keep up this amnesia act of yours."
It had definitely been one of those days where Joey needed to have nothing on her mind, needed to be able to focus on nothing but work. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't able to focus on anything but the man that had suddenly come crashing back into their lives.
She answered her phone on the first ring, amazed that it had stayed silent for a full five minutes.
"Jo Potter."
"Hello beautiful." She hesitated, not used to hearing his voice on the other end of the phone. "Joey?"
"Sorry, I was..."
"No worries. I wanted to make sure you were okay... about last night."
"I am." She stared at the tattered eraser at the end of her pencil, confused about how nervous she was to be talking to him on the phone.
"Good. And to ask what you're wearing." A small smile played across her lips.
"Nothing."
"Nothing, huh?"
"Yep. Nothing."
"Liar." She looked at him standing in the doorway to her office.
"We should probably hang up now."
"Probably." He hung up and set the folder on her desk. "You left this in JP's diaper bag. Thought you might need it," he said with a wink. She nodded.
"Thank you," was all she managed to get out. She looked at him as he knelt in front of her.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She nodded, her eyes going to where his hands were resting just above her knees. "You aren't acting okay, love." She stood up, moving away from him.
"I said I'm fine." She said, irritation evident in her voice.
"I think you're lying."
"What if I am?" He stood up, watching her. "I don't know how I'm supposed to act here, Pacey. Suddenly you're back and I'm required to act like there's no problem with you not remembering me? I can't handle this today."
"What about tomorrow?" he asked with a smirk. From the look on her face he was glad she wasn't standing near any heavy objects. They would have been hurled directly at his head. "I really just wanted to check on you. Maybe we should just talk tonight," he offered, moving towards her.
"What makes that any better?" She asked, conscious of the distance closing between them.
"You won't be here." Her breath caught as he ran his fingertips over her jaw line, looking from her eyes to her lips and then slowly back to her eyes. It only took that brief moment for his eyes to take on that darker shade of blue that she knew all too well. He brushed his lips over hers before taking her lower lip between his, kissing her slowly. It seemed to last forever. "I lied. That's the real reason I came by," he murmured against her lips before he kissed her once more. "I'll see you tonight." And with that he was gone, leaving her dumbfounded in the corner of her office.
Joey's assistant looked up from her desk as Pacey walked out, a bemused smile playing on his lips. She knew him, and not from this city. She knew him from her hometown in upstate New York. Greenwich. And she certainly didn't know him as Pacey Witter.
Sheridan sipped on her soda while her eyes scanned the pages and pages of photos stored in the image gallery of the Greenwich Journal's website. She was determined to find the photo of last year's storm cleanup crew, the one with Pacey Witter or Matt Christensen or whoever he was pretending to be now in it, front and center. A smile played on her lips as she found it, instantly sending it to the printer.
Joey looked up at the soft rapping on her office door, knowing it was Sheridan by the knock.
"Come in," Joey said, her voice showing her exhaustion. Sheridan did, sitting in one of the chairs in front of Joey's desk. "Ten more minutes."
"So... who was that?"
"Who was who?"
"The man in your office."
"What man?"
"The one that kissed you."
"Oh. Pacey. It was Pacey Witter." Sheridan leaned forward slightly.
"You're sure he's Pacey Witter?" Joey cocked her head to the side. "I mean, he's not Matt Christensen?"
"I'm pretty sure he's Pacey Witter." Sheridan handed her the printout of the picture. "That's odd."
"I know. That's from my hometown in upstate New York." Joey folded up the paper, thoroughly confused. "Drive safe, Jo. Its a monsoon out there." Joey nodded, putting the paper into her purse, but not before looking at it one more time. There he was, clear as day, holding a shovel and a black trash bag. And sure enough, there was the name Matt Christensen.
Joey had every intention of asking Pacey about the photo that Sheridan had given her. She had every intention of not letting him kiss his way out of this conversation. What she did not intend on was a flat tire half a mile from the Witter house, waiting an hour on a tow truck that hadn't come and, of course, the long, wet trek to the house in this lovely weather. Jenna's jaw slacked as she looked at Joey.
"Is that from the curb to the door?"
"No, this is from half a mile down the road."
"What?"
"Nice night for a flat tire."
"Oh Jesus. Let's get you changed."
Joey sat on Jenna's floor, drying her hair off with a towel. This day seriously wasn't going to end. It was just one thing after another. The fact that she was now wearing one of Pacey's old t shirts that had his smell ingrained to it wasn't helping her get things in order in her head, but she'd be damned if she didn't feel at home in that and a pair of his sweatpants Jenna had claimed for her own and cut off into capris. "So..." Jenna said, looking up from the magazine she was reading. "Are you going to spill or do I have to force it out of you?" Joey looked at her, confused.
"Spill about what?"
"Don't play innocent with me. My brother doesn't come home at o' dark thirty from a night of innocent conversation." Joey felt the heat of a blush quickly spreading across her cheeks. "I knew it!"
"Jenna, shut up," Joey hissed at her. "We are not talking about this."
"Man, why not?" Jenna whined.
"One, he's your brother. Two, I doubt it meant a damn thing to him."
"I knew it! Generally, getting laid after two years would make someone happy, not bitchy, Jo."
"He's not Pacey. Not yet anyway."
"Stop that. You know he loves you." Joey shook her head.
Joey laid on the bed, the light from the TV filling the bedroom. She'd decided to wait on asking Pacey about the photo. There was no way she was going to do it tonight. The concept of it made no sense to her and it was starting to give her a headache. Even if he was Matt Christensen, there had to be some reason for it. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as she heard the front door shut and heavy footsteps crossing the floor. Joey sighed, happy that she had already gotten tomorrow off from work, giving her a three-day weekend. She needed to just relax, but how things had been going she didn't think that was even a possibility. She looked at the door as it opened and Pacey looked at her before shutting the door behind him. He glanced over at JP asleep in the playpen and sat on the bed next to her.
"What are you watching?" She looked up at him. He smelled clean, like freshly washed laundry with a hint of shea butter, which she was guessing was lotion. "Still with the silent treatment?"
"It's been a very bad day."
"Not all bad," he said, playing with her hair and she sat up. "Is that my shirt?"
"You remember a shirt but not people?"
"No..." he recovered. "It just seems like one I'd own." He pulled her over to him and her head rested on his shoulder. "Why was it so bad?" His fingers went back to caressing her hair.
"My car is a half mile up the road with a flat tire."
"Ooh."
"I was swamped all day and couldn't concentrate on a thing and then Sheridan shows me-" She stopped suddenly.
"Shows you what?"
"Some picture... its not important." She looked up at him.
"You look exhausted, love." Joey nodded. "What time do you have to be at work?"
"On Monday." He turned off the TV, lying down, and she followed suit.
"You need to relax and get some sleep."
"I can't." He looked at her as his hand slipped under her shirt, pulling her back against him as he slowly began to kiss her neck. He was caught slightly off guard for a second when she suddenly turned her body to face him. "Pacey..." She glanced over her shoulder at JP asleep in the crib. He nodded in understanding. No need to traumatize the poor boy in case he did wake up.
"Well," he whispered, "We can stay in here and just kiss... or we can go to my room." Pacey kissed her lips, slowly pulling back.
"What makes you think you're getting laid tonight?" He smiled.
"Who said I wanted to get laid?" She smirked, her expression falling as her cell phone began to vibrate in her purse. "Go on." She got up, walking out with her purse.
Jenna walked out into the garage, smiling at Joey who was caught red handed with a cigarette pursed between her lips. Jenna shut the door behind her, grabbing the cigarettes from their hiding place inside an old empty can of paint.
"Frustrated or satisfied?" Jenna asked, looking at the paper in Joey's hand. "What's that?"
"Nothing. Just work stuff."
"Then why can't I see it?"
"You don't want to." Jenna took it from her, opening it. "What..." She looked back at Joey.
"Sheridan gave it to me today. She swears Pacey is this Matt Christensen guy."
"So now you think what, that he was living some double life up in... Greenwich?"
"I don't know." Joey looked at Jenna, putting the folded up paper in her purse. "If he was, that means he's faking all of this, right? That he doesn't have amnesia? It doesn't make sense. Pacey wouldn't just do that for no reason. He wouldn't abandon all of us – all of you -- for nothing." Jenna finished her cigarette, not saying a word. "And if he is this Matt guy, why is he all the sudden back here?"
"I don't know," Jenna said, not looking at her. She had, in fact, avoided eye contact since she had seen the paper. Letting Joey ramble was the easiest way to keep her mouth shut about the whole situation, or rather, the whole façade. Jenna stood up, realizing Joey had just been watching her while Jenna was lost in her thoughts.
"What aren't you saying?"
"It doesn't make any sense. You know he wouldn't do that."
"I know."
"Get some sleep, Jo."
Pacey looked at Jenna getting JP out of his crib, trying to be quiet so that she didn't wake up Joey and Pacey.
"What time is it?" Pacey whispered.
"Six thirty. We need to talk, Pace." He looked down at Joey and gingerly got out of the bed, trying not to wake her, and followed Jenna out of the bedroom.
Pacey sat on the back steps, sipping at his coffee while he waited for Jenna to come outside. She finally did, sitting next to him.
"What's so important at this hour?" She looked at him.
"Did Joey tell you about the picture Sheridan gave her?"
"Not really. Just that Sheridan gave her some picture."
"Yeah, some picture of Matt Christensen." Pacey set down his coffee. "She was going on last night about it. She showed me a picture from the Greenwich Journal from the storm cleanup up there."
"That's not good."
"Not so much. Pacey... we have all been lying to her for two years. She's not going to take that lightly. But... you have to tell her."
"Tell her what exactly?"
"The truth."
"I can't tell her the truth." He rubbed his face. "She won't understand. She doesn't know anything about any of it."
"Make her understand. Otherwise she's going to find it out on her own and she'll just push us all away. She'll bolt and take JP with her. Besides, there's no danger anymore, right?"
"Supposedly."
"What do you mean, supposedly?"
"Jen, yes he's dead and buried, but that doesn't mean his grudges are."
"Then why are you back?" He looked at her. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
"No. But I'd rather possibly be killed down here and be with her than be up there without her." Jenna sighed.
"Then why did we do this in the first place?"
"I'm keeping a low profile until I can tell her. Stop worrying so much."
"Low profile huh? Is that why we're having this talk?"
Pacey walked into the bedroom, crawling back into bed, and Joey looked at him. His eyes looked over her face, finally wandering back up to her eyes. He'd always thought this was when she was the most beautiful, first thing in the morning, without the makeup and her hair a mess.
"Go back to sleep, love. Its your day off," he said, brushing her hair back from her face. She just watched him. "What?"
"You're not planning on disappearing anytime soon, are you?" She asked softly. He frowned slightly, wondering where that came from. "I don't think I could take it again."
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He kissed her forehead. "Except to the bathroom." She smirked, watching him go into the bathroom. When he came back in she was already dressed. "Aw, I missed it?" He asked, shutting the door. "Do it again."
"Um, no." She moved towards the door and he pulled her over to him.
"You sure? It could be fun." She looked up at him, her fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. "You shouldn't look at me like that, unless you want me taking advantage of this situation." She absentmindedly licked her lower lip.
"We wouldn't want that." She looked down to his frayed collar and he tilted her chin back up, kissing her.
"Let's get out of here."
"And go where?"
"To get your tire changed." Joey grimaced, hit by reality again. "I'll meet you out front."
She had been thinking about how to bring up the subject for twenty-four hours now. The truth was, she was scared of what his answer would be. She didn't want to hear that she'd been lied to for two years now about him. If that was the case, she didn't want to hear about his life as Matt Christensen. Ever but surely, the notion that it was all some fluke, some guy that just looked like his mirror image, was flying out of the window. Now, here they sat, in some mom and pop Italian restaurant, and all she could think about was Matt Christensen and his shovel.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or are we just going to sit here in silence?" He knew he was treading on dangerous ground, after his talk with Jenna that morning. Still, he needed her to do something other than stare at her fettuccini alfredo.
"I don't know, Matt, why don't you tell me?" Joey looked up at him to find Pacey staring back at her, his drink still at his lips waiting to be drunk. After a moment he set it back down.
"You want to do this here? You want all the sordid details over dinner?"
"I want the truth, Pacey."
"Fine. The name Thomas Bulger ring a bell?" She nodded, wondering what her ex had to do with his alternate life. "Well your ex-boyfriend wasn't too happy that you were with someone else, let alone happy and getting married. And he wasn't too happy that the person you were marrying someone who had left his sister at the altar after realizing what he was marrying into." She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in the booth. "How much do you know about his family?"
"What, his parents?" Pacey smirked. "I never met them."
"His uncle is Whitey Bulger." He leaned forward. "When we get to the house, I can show you the threats he sent."
"What does this-"
"If I didn't disappear, I was dead. And the way the last threat sounded, so were you." Joey's arms dropped to her sides.
"So you just left me here. You let me think that you were dead for two years because he threatened you?"
"No, because he threatened you. If everyone thought I was dead, he would too. It kept you safe."
"So you what, blew up the boat and hightailed it to New York?" He hesitated, considering whether to let her think he was the only one involved. "Who else knew?" There it was, the straightforward question. Pacey took a sip of his beer.
"You were the only one who didn't." She bit her lip, the magnitude of the betrayal hitting her. The only one who didn't? The amnesia had been fake. His so-called death had been an enormous ruse. His excuse for calling off the wedding had been an out right lie. She couldn't even look at him, this was all too much, and it was making her head spin. Having a suspicion was one thing, but being slammed into the truth was completely different. She could feel his eyes on her, and honestly was struggling with what to say. She definitely wasn't expecting to be feeling both numb and shattered at the same time. "Joey." She finally looked at him. "You have to understand, it was to protect you."
"I don't have to understand a damn thing."
"I didn't have a choice."
"Yes you did. You always have a choice, Witter. Normally, faking your death, abandoning your fiancée and having your entire family join in on a two year long betrayal isn't the best one."
"And letting him kill you was a better option?"
"No. Trusting me enough to tell me the truth was a better option. But obviously you didn't."
"Joey-"
"No. We're done talking." She got up, heading for the door and Pacey quickly dropped money onto the table to cover the bill, following her. He spotted her walking down the sidewalk and ran to catch up with her. "Leave me alone."
"No. I'm not going to do that."
"Why not? You've done pretty well with it recently."
"You can be as mad as you want about all of this, but the one thing you can't hate me for is the reason I did it." She turned towards him, her eyes blazing. "Joey-"
"Stop telling me how to feel! You left! You let me think that you were dead! And then, and then, you come back and lie to me? Hell, you'd still be lying if Sheridan hadn't given me that photo!" He grabbed her arm, pulling her into the alley and away from the onlookers. She yanked her arm away from him. "Don't touch me!"
"Stop yelling. I told you I left to protect you."
"No. No, Pacey, Matt or whoever you are, you left because you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Don't you dare try and sugar coat it to make yourself feel better."
"Like it or not, I thought I was doing the right thing." She shook her head, her throat already feeling raw from yelling.
"Just take me to my car." She didn't say another word the entire ride to the Witter house. Joey just stared out the passenger side window. He pulled up to the curb and turned off the car.
"I know you probably hate me right now, but I'm not going anywhere Jo. I meant what I promised you."
He had given her a week. A week to process everything in her head. A week for her to have to chance to call him. She hadn't called him. And now here he stood, on her front porch, going over the scenarios of how she was going to react to seeing him in his head. Scenario A, she threw her arms around him, kissed him and told him all was forgiven. Scenario B, she kicked him in the balls and slammed the door in his face. Pacey cringed, knowing that scenario B was a million times more likely.
The expected blowup towards his family had been the opposite. It had been calm and to the point, telling them JP would still be there during the week, but only because she didn't want him to be hurt by all of this and they were his family. As for her, she wanted nothing to do with any of them. And as promised, JP was there Monday morning, but Joey never said a word to any of them unless it pertained to that little boy, and didn't enter the house if she knew Pacey was home.
Now it was Sunday again, and he was standing on her porch holding JP's overnight bag that she'd left. Finally he knocked on the door. When she opened it, he took a moment to soak in the sight of her. Truth was she looked like death warmed over and he was pretty sure the shrieking toddler in the background wasn't helping.
"What are you doing here?" She asked with as much energy as she could muster. She'd been vomiting on and off since Friday night and definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with him. Normally she would have called Jenna to help out with JP but nothing was normal right now.
"You don't look so good."
"Thanks." He walked in, scooping up JP from the box of cheerios he'd dumped onto the floor. He looked at the saltine crackers and pepto bismol on the coffee table. "Pacey-"
"You need to rest and you need help with JP. Go lay down and I'll get all of this under control." She sat on the couch.
"If I wasn't about to keel over-"
"Yeah, yeah. Get upstairs." She slowly walked up to her room, wondering what exactly had just happened.
Pacey shut the door to JP's room, finally getting him down for a nap and glanced in at Joey sprawled out on her stomach. He walked in, putting a cold washcloth on the back of her neck and feeling her forehead. She was burning up.
"Its quiet," she mumbled.
"He's asleep. Sit up." She did and he readjusted the pillows so she could get some sleep. She laid down and Pacey covered her up with the quilt. "Your turn for sleep."
"Go home Pacey."
"You can't deal with him in your condition. I'll go when you're better."
She awoke with a start, looking at the clock. Nine twenty P.M. She made her way downstairs, stopping when she saw Pacey had cleaned. He'd even dusted the railing of the stairs. Her eyes went to Pacey and JP asleep on the couch and she couldn't help but smile. The smile was fleeting, as it quickly disappeared. She walked out the front door, sitting on the porch and enjoying to cool night air.
"You look like you're feeling better." She hadn't even heard him come outside and was completely caught off guard when he sat next to her. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be able to take him being this close to her. The longer the situation stewed in her head, one thought kept getting louder and louder. Now it was basically screaming at her.
"What made me so easy to leave?" She blurted out, instantly regretting it. She didn't want to know the answer. He gently turned her face towards his.
"You think it was easy? Jo, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"But lying to me wasn't?"
"I hated lying to you. I don't expect you to be ready to forgive me." She couldn't help looking back into his eyes as his fingers gently raked through her hair. "But I know that you still love me, Jo." She tried desperately to remember that she was infuriated with him, and that she had been betrayed on such a huge level, but that was becoming difficult in her weakened state with him touching her. "You don't stop loving someone in one day," he said, and she looked away from him as she heard her own statement from so long ago coming back to her.
"Why are you doing this?" She walked into the house, leaving him sitting there. Joey reached into the fridge, opening her second beer and leaning against the counter. Even in the moonlight he could see the conflicted emotions in her eyes.
"You want to know how else I know?" She took another drink as he slowly moved towards her. "Your eyes give you away, every time. You may feel angry and betrayed and abandoned, but you still love me Jo." He took her drink from her, setting it on the counter. "Why are you still wearing the ring?"
"Do you want it back?"
"No. I want you to tell me, if you're so ready to walk way, why are you still wearing the engagement ring I gave you?" She subconsciously bit her lip, looking at the ring still on her finger. "I don't want it back. I just want to know why."
"I can't, Pacey," She nearly whispered, still not looking at him. "I'm sorry, I just can't. You shattered me." He moved closer, not even inches from her, and she closed her eyes. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body and, as much as her head was fighting it, her body ached for him to touch her again. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding as he lightly brushed her hair back from her face.
"Joey," he said, his voice deep. "I meant it when I said I wasn't going anywhere." She looked up at him and he kissed her forehead, sending a slight tingle through her entire body. He kissed her lips, not expecting her to welcome his mouth with her. He was wrong. Joey couldn't help herself. This was the first time in over a week that she felt... right.
