The Path Homeward
Part Two: Threshold
"Point of No Return"
Anna had never seen so much tension in a room in her life, not even when Cody and Troy had butt heads after Troy's first proposal. Kratos sat across from her, tight lipped, staring at Kvar, who hovered by the control panel in the corner to her right, a smug and shallow smile plastered on his thin lips. His long fingers drummed against the terminal as he stared Kratos down, to little avail.
She had to admit, Kratos was pretty impressively stubborn, and since he'd come here, not only her life but the lives of the other Ranch prisoners had improved. He was a fair leader and the behavior of the Desians had changed in regards to their prisoners …
Of course, that really didn't justify that he hadn't released them when Anna was almost sure he had the power, but at least he was putting Kvar in his place.
Everyone had their good points, she guessed.
"I have told you countless times," Kratos' hand hit the back of the file folder that he wore like a shield, "that you cannot continue to push this Crystal to such lengths, or it will erode and destroy all your hard earned research."
"And I have asked you repeatedly if you are scientist, Lord Aurion. In order to question my methods –"
His snort was so loud it resonated through the chamber. "I do not need to be scientist in order to question your methods, Lord Kvar," Kvar's fingers abruptly stopped drumming. "That is akin to saying that the populace is not allowed to question where their bread comes from. Let us not forget who employs who, shall we?"
Kvar looked livid, his thin face strained and pale as he was forced to bow to the idea that this man was his superior. Anna wanted to smile – It really did her good to see Kratos put the bastard in his place, to see anyone put him in his place. She wished Eren could see this.
Unfortunately, her satisfaction didn't go unnoticed.
"Oh? It looks like the Inferior Being finds something funny about this situation," Kvar's damned smile returned as he turned to face her, reaching out to grab her chin in his cold hands.
Fighting down the urge to spit in his face and stomp on his feet, she returned his cruel gaze with what she hoped was a hate-filled glare. "Go to hell, Kvar. You don't own me."
"Don't I?" That smile again, curling his lips further. "It would seem like you're mistaken, A012. I do own you. I own your very lifeforce to do with what I wish."
"Just because you capture a wild dog, does that mean it stopped being wild?" She said, finally pulling away, only to find herself stumbling backwards, landing on her tailbone with a painful thud.
Kvar snarled, and raised his hand to strike her, not for the first time, and Anna flinched, closing her eyes to pretend the blow wasn't happening. It would be over in a moment anyway, and then fade to an ache – She'd been hit enough to know that.
But the blow never came.
Cracking open her eyes cautiously, she found Kratos holding Kvar's wrist in a bruising grasp, staring down at him with a look of chilling revulsion in his eyes. "I should think a scientist would have more care for his test subject, even a test subject with a mouth on her. A tradesman should always respect the tools of his trade, and this woman is far from expendable."
And for the first time, Anna found herself truly terrified by Kratos. Not even when he had first walked into that room and she had discovered he was a Desian, not even when he had killed people in front of her, had she been scared of him. But in that moment, his eyes were so cold and terrifying she had no doubt that if Kvar made the wrong move, Kratos would snap his wrist and then proceed to snap his neck and feel no remorse over it.
The first time is always the hardest.
But what about all the times afterward?
Anna suddenly shivered, remembering the look in that man's eyes as he had died in front of her. She had taken everything from him, and to kill someone, even someone like Kvar, without regret?
What kind of person was Kratos?
Even Kvar seemed to realize the gravity of his own situation, because he pulled away and muttered something about an appointment, spinning and leaving the room, the door sliding closed with a whoosh behind him. Anna could feel the hatred pouring off him in waves before he left and had every faith that he would make things more difficult for all the prisoners when Kratos left just to make up for having his power seized from him.
She almost hated Kratos for it, except …
"I am sorry you had to see that," his voice drew her out of her thoughts, and her eyes lighted on his face, which was bowed and stern, his hand outstretched to help her to her feet.
Anna batted it away and stood on her own, turning away from him, unable to look him in the eye after what she just saw. And she didn't want him to see her as weak, couldn't risk that, because staying sane and alive was all that she had to hold onto.
Behind her, she felt him drop his arm, accompanied by an audible sigh. "For tonight, I am moving you back to holding. I am afraid of what he will attempt if I keep you alone and I am going off base for one night before returning for one last look at your Exsphere."
"You think … He'll stay away from me if I'm there?" Tentatively, she turned around and looked up at him, steeling herself, though she found his expression remarkably gentle. It was a bit surprising, to be honest, and a stark contrast to how he had looked at the Grand Cardninal. "Kvar will try to make an example of me no matter what."
Kratos shook his head slowly. "No. I think that he will be prudent and leave you be. Ruthless Kvar is, but he knows when he has gone too far and is going to be monitored. He won't touch you when I am destined to be back so soon, not with witnesses about."
Anna could only nod; he had a point, but she didn't really have anything else to say.
"Well, if that is the case, I will see you tomorrow. I suppose it is time for you to go out to work in the yard?"
As if on cue, the door slid upon and Adrus walked in, escorted by a few guards, a pair of shackles in his hand. Without another word to her, Kratos stood and left, sweeping out of the room grandly, and leaving her with her captors.
Something told her that today would be a long day.
XxX
Kratos stared at the mural, tracing its shape with his dark eyes, memorizing it. Over the last week, he had been so busy he had not had time to sit, but now, just before he left for his meeting with Yggdrasill and Arecus, he wanted a moment to clear his head and truly center himself. He would need a clear head to face Yggdrasill without faltering or turning back, and for some reason, staring at this painting grounded him.
It was a beautiful mural, one which any pastor would be proud to have painted on the walls of his church. The background a dark blue, faded eventually into a sunny and cloudless sky above a golden plain, where a woman in white robes with long, flowing locks of green hair hovered, arms outstretched as she waited for a man with golden hair to run into her arms. Pure feeling played across their faces, among their emotions relief and joy. They were so well portrayed that Kratos himself could almost feel them seep from the likenesses. Truly, it was beautiful, and difficult to believe that it had come from the hand of a trained assassin.
It was a rather idealistic interpretation of the awakening of the Goddess Martel, Kratos thought with a sigh, but it reminded him, at the very least, of what he was fighting for.
Standing, Kratos turned and took one last breath before steeling himself and make his way from the Ranch, there, Noishe waited for him, tail beating the ground, tongue lolling from his mouth.
"You are faster than flight at times, my friend," Kratos said as he reached out and scratched the beast behind the ears. "Shall we ride? I would prefer to get this over with and not spend any more time in Yggdrasill's presence than is needed."
Noishe barked in response, allowing Kratos to climb atop his back, and like that, they took off like a shot, Noishe's paws barely seeming to scrape the earth as he ran. Man and animal became one blur across the landscape, barreling toward the horizon, where the sun had just began its descent, sinking behind the distant cliffs to the south and west.
It was the last moment Kratos would truly be able to rest his mind in many long months, he figured. There was too much at stake, his plans were too many, to really give him another moment like this again for a good while. So he relished it, the sight of the world going by in flashes, the beauty of the darkening sky, the peace of nothing but him, Noishe, and the world that he had come to delight in.
Solitude was a gift that he would not be able to enjoy if he were successful.
Soon, Kratos was forced to dismount and take the perpetually hidden trail to his destination on foot, Noishe trailing after him noiselessly. It did not take Kratos long to make the journey to an empty and desolate clearing where he placed his hand against what seemed to be an invisible column of air, sending lines of blue light out from the direction of his palm, where a high, arched doorway emerged but a moment later. Together, he and Noishe stepped through the corridor, the doorway vanishing behind them a moment later.
"I suppose this is it, old friend," Kratos told the animal, turning to him and scratching him behind the ears once more. "I will return momentarily with a few supplies, and then we shall return to the Ranch. Wait for us in the trees. I will make my move soon."
A whine was his only response as Noishe sat down and nudged his palm affectionately. Smiling vaguely at the encouragement, Kratos turned and took leave of his old companion, stepping into the center of a glowing magic circle only to have his particles rearranged and transported elsewhere.
Once more enveloped in eerie silence, Kratos made his way to the audience chamber, where he found not two, but three people waiting for him.
Yuan.
The man stood by Yggdrasill's side and cast Kratos a knowing smile, placing his hand on their leader's shoulder to get his attention. Spinniing, Yggdrasill grinned and glided forward with his typical practiced grace to wrap him in a hug. "Oh! Kratos, you're early!"
"Yes," Kratos said, pulling away. "I bring you word of Kvar's accomplishments, though I warn you, he is responsible of reckless endangerment of your pet project." And so Kratos launched into his report, watch Arecus' frown grow progressively deeper and Yggdrasill's eyebrows rise higher and higher. "So as you can see, I do not think he is the appropriate choice for the position. There is no doubt Kvar has a brilliant mind, but he is too ambitious to simply be content with the role you give him. It is best to keep him in a position where his power can be kept in check."
"I see," Yggdrasill hummed, and turned to Yuan with a smile. "What do you think, brother?"
"I think that trusting Kratos' judgment is the best thing you could do in this situation," Yuan said, his eyes never wavering from Kratos, as if he were waiting for something to happen; typical Yuan, inserting himself into situations he found fascinating for the sake of witnessing them happen. "He's your most consistent and loyal scion, after all."
"Indeed he is," Yggdrasill almost purred, making Kratos hesitate for a fraction of a second. "Is there something else you'd like to say, Kratos?"
He thought of the boy he had once known, thought of the woman with green hair on the mural, of all they had promised to do, and then he looked into Yuan's eyes, saw the bitterness there, the expectation. He recalled Anna Irving, who she had once been and what he had seen her transform into, a scrappy, mistrustful creature scarred by the Human Ranches. And he remembered the Exsphere Production Plants of the Kharlan War, sacrificing the lives of POWs for the sake of magic, power-enhancing stones.
A world where everyone was like them was not something Kratos could condone, no matter whose dream it was.
"I mean to ask you about the purpose of the Angelus Project, Mithos," Kratos said, making sure his tone was not one of servant-to-master, but the tone of master-to-pupil, though in truth he could no longer claim that title. "It is not simply to replenish our stores. Two years ago, you told me you believed this family to be the one to produce the vessel. What is the reason?"
Yggdrasill frowned, and with a glance, dismissed Arecus, who bowed as he backed away. When the man was gone, he levied a sigh at Kratos and offered him a tired smile. "I should have known you would realize sooner or later." He frowned sharply and took a seat in his nearby throne. "I'm sorry for not telling you, Kratos, I simply … I wasn't sure how you'd take the news."
"Oh?" He arched his eyebrows, waiting for Yggdrasill to confess. "And what about this news might upset me?"
"I'm sure you'll understand, it's a silly concern, really," Yggdrasill waved his hand dismissively. "I mean, you've always been loyal to me and supported me, I see no reason for you to leave me over this, especially since it's for a good reason." He paused, chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, and ignored Yuan's intent stare. "Do you remember what Martel said before she died? About … About making a world free from discrimination?"
Kratos nodded in tight-lipped acknowledgement.
"Well, I wish to make everyone the same race. That way, there will be no more cause for discrimination, Kratos. We'll all be the same," he smiled sweetly, and Kratos realized he sincerely found no flaw in his own logic. "Won't that be wonderful?"
"No it will not."
Yggdrasill looked as if he had been slapped and blinked his eyes slowly, leaning forward and clearing his throat, "Excuse me?"
"It will not be wonderful," Kratos could hardly believe the words were coming out of his own mouth, and from Yggdrasill's expression, he could not, either. "What makes you think robbing people of all that makes them people is even remotely a good idea?"
"But you're happy, aren't you, Kratos? And Yuan is happy? And so are the angels?"
His green eyes were wide and pleading, his face drawn up into a pout, as if begging Kratos to see it his way. It was a manipulative and underhanded tactic, Kratos thought, for he had likely not felt anything save for his dead sister in many long years.
"I am not happy," Kratos finally said, his words shattering the illusion like a hammer. "I have not been happy for some time, Mithos. I have given up much for your sake, but I am not happy."
Yggdrasill look stricken, and stood, his fists clenched tightly at his side. "What are you saying, Kratos? After all we've worked toward, when I'm—We're so close to our goal … And you mean to tell me you're not happy?"
"I have lost everything, Mithos," Kratos replied, glancing away from the rapidly paling face to stare at his own hands. "My family. My … My humanity."
"Humans killed my sister!" Yggdrasill suddenly shouted, drawing Kratos' eyes to his face, finding tears there; and though Kratos would like to believe they were sincere tears … He could no longer trust anything Yggdrasill said. "Why would you want to be one of … One of them? I saved you!"
Kratos simply shook his head. "No. I no longer know who I am. I have not for quite some time …" He trailed off and glanced to Yuan before shifting his eyes back to Yggdrasill. "The people you are sacrificing … I cannot condone this."
"W-what are you saying? Kratos? Kratos tell me!" The desperation in his voice was clear and Kratos nearly flinched at the sound.
"I am leaving, Mithos."
Silence rang louder than any response could have.
XxX
Anna sat by Eren's side, pressing her fingers against the wound on his forehead, trying to bite back frantic tears. He was burning up, hot to the touch, and she had no idea what to do precisely because there was nothing she could do.
She'd seen it happen before:
Someone would get in a fight, which the Desians would let happen because it was free entertainment, and the loser wouldn't die, but be wounded, and then they'd slowly die from sickness and infection. And there was nothing anyone could do because they'd die anyway, and because the suffering would make the Exspheres awaken more quickly, at least, that's what Adrus had told her.
So now she sat, Eren's head in her lap, staring into his fevered face as she attempted to gather her wits and be strong for him, ignoring the stares of the onlookers. Most of them had been curious at her return, others had been suspicious, but right now she honestly didn't give a damn. The most important person to her in the world at this moment was the man in her lap, her one link to her past, slowly dying.
Before they'd come here, she hadn't even known him that well. They'd never been close, but he'd always been polite, since Anna was his bride's best friend, but then … Then they were taken together, and ever since, Eren had become her best friend.
Hell, they even had a lot in common, just …
Why did this have to happen?
"Don't look so sad, pretty lady," Anna's eyes snapped downward and she looked into Eren's plain and smiling face; he looked awful, exhausted and worn, but contented, for some reason.
"How can you say something like that at a time like this?" she grumbled, but offered him a small smile.
"Easily enough," he laughed softly and shook his head weakly. "When you're going to … To die, things kind of get a new perspective, you know? I'm …" he trailed off and his smile grew wider. "I'm finally going to be free, Annie."
"Don't talk like that," she grumbled. "What … What about finding Grace again? About all the things we talked about doing once we get out of here?"
He frowned suddenly, but then closed his eyes and relaxed. "You can still do those things, Annie, but I don't think I was ever meant to make it out of here, not in body anyway, but maybe …" He weakly raised a hand and began to tug something from his neck, handing it to Anna.
Cold metal in her hand, Anna's eyes focused on the object instead of Eren's face, finding his wedding ring dangling from the chain before her. "This …"
"I can leave in spirit if you take this," Eren said, and Anna looked into his eyes. "Find Grace. Tell her what happened. Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see our boy grow up. Tell him I loved him, please …" His eyes began to shine with tears. "Tell my boy I loved him."
"Damnit, Eren! If you can talk like that, fight it! We can get out of here together, we can-!"
"No," he cut her off, voice firm. "I would only drag you down, Anna, you know that. I'm sick. My arm is broken. I'm going to die here."
The words were stark, and Anna knew that no matter what she wished, he was right. She'd seen this too many times before to think otherwise.
"I'll do it," she muttered. "I'll find Grace and you son for you, Eren. And I'll let them know you loved them."
He just smiled and fell silent for awhile, nodding off, which Anna knew because she could still feel him breathing. It allowed her time to focus on the people who were staring at her, sending the scuttling with a long glare.
She knew what they were saying behind her back –
The whispers were impossible to ignore, really.
This was her fault, Eren, normally so peaceful, so focused on simply surviving, had broken one of the rules of the Ranch to defend her honor. Anna didn't know the specifics of what they'd said, but she could guess that it had to do with using her body to curry favor with "Lord Kratos."
Yeah right.
Like that would ever happen.
Besides, as it was, Anna wasn't exactly attractive, her ribs showing, all her shape gone.
But they were right about one thing – It was her fault. She should have expected Eren to do something like this, should have fought harder when they moved her to solitary, something to stop this from happening.
Thanks to her, her best friend's husband was dying in her arms.
Some friend she was.
"It's going to be okay," Eren's voice was soft, softer than she had ever heard it before. "I know you're going to make it. I just have this feeling, Annie. I've been praying and I know that they're going to send help for you … You're going to get out … You're going to be free."
Looking at him, at his helpless, sweaty, face, Anna found she could no longer hold back her tears. "What good does being free do if I can't even help the people in front of me?"
"What do you mean, can't help the people in front of you?" Eren closed his eyes and continued to smile. "You've helped me, Annie, because you gave me hope …"
He trailed off, and though he wasn't dead, Anna could sense death all over him, and knew the end was near. Her tears drying in her eyes she looked at his face and swore to keep her promise to him, because this time, no matter what, she had something to fight for.
And when tomorrow came, even though she would be sad and tired, she would fight on, because she had to keep her promise.
No matter what.
XxX
"You don't mean that," the voice was frantic. "You don't mean that, Kratos! You can't mean that!"
Kratos did not avert his eyes, though he wanted to. "I do. I cannot serve someone who has violated the beliefs he once held dear. I will not fight against you, Mithos, but I can no longer support you." He turned around and began to walk away, but found his path blocked by Yggdrasill, who had teleported to stand in front of him.
"I won't let you leave, Kratos!" he snapped, reaching out his hand as if to grab the soldier.
Snorting, Kratos jumped back and unsheathed his sword in a single arc.
"While you are welcome to try to stop me, I warn you –" He narrowed his eyes. "I am still every bit as capable of a swordsman as I was when I trained you."
Yggdrasill laughed and then charged him. "I already told you I won't let you leave, Kratos! Give up! I've grown far more powerful than you could ever imagine!"
In reality, Kratos had been very careful to observe the level of power his old student had attained, and so he was well aware of his strengths … And weaknesses. His arrogance was his biggest downfall and his easiest target. Snorting, Kratos simply nodded at Mithos to advance.
And advance he did, materializing a blade forged of starlight in his hand, charging Kratos, who deflected his first blow, and then launched a counterattack as Mithos staggered back, finding his blow narrowly blocked.
He smirked and dove forward again, his half-smile turning into a sneer as he drove Mithos back with a succession of blows the other was hard pressed to block. As Kratos had suspected, he'd spent so long dictating to everyone else that he had lost much of his ability.
"What did I tell you, Mithos?" He disarmed Yggdrasill with a well aimed parry, watching the other snarl his rage and dismay at being bested. "The first thing a Knight must remember is to always keep his skills sharp."
Yggdrasill growled and reached out a hand as if to grab Kratos. "I own you, Kratos."
The statement shocked and disturbed him greatly, but … Should he have been surprised? Should it really have hurt to hear a boy he once considered his dearest of friends say such a thing? How far had Mithos fallen because of him? What had he allowed to happen?
"I am sorry, Mithos," Kratos said, slapping the other's hand away and interrupting the bright light that was growing there, "but no man owns me."
"Why you-!"
A bolt of lightning suddenly shot between them and Kratos jumped back, having forgotten Yuan was there. He started at their companion a moment before straightening and nodding, but he did not sheath his blade, ever aware of how tense Mithos was.
"Stop. The both of you," Yuan's voice was cold and low. "Let him go … Brother. Kratos needs to find his own path." His green eyes darted to Kratos and he scanned him before turning away. "Besides, he said he wouldn't fight against you, didn't he?"
And just like that, Yggdrasill was back, smiling softly and laughing to himself as he dropped his guard. "Of course, Yuan, my brother. You're right. I'm sure all Kratos needs is time … That's it …" His eyes took on a faraway look that Kratos recognized all too well – The look of a man trapped within the maze of his own memories. "Leave me. I need to be alone with my sister."
Knowing that there would be no reaching him, Kratos turned away and strode off, his own mind beginning to wander. Yuan trailed along beside him, a tight lipped frown on his face. They were silent for a long time, Kratos consumed by thoughts of his own guilt, Yuan likely stewing in thoughts of his own, until Yuan broke the silence.
"You were lying."
"Pardon me?" Kratos glanced toward him, blinking, drawn back to the present by the other's words.
Yuan was not looking at him, rather, he was staring straight forward with a rather determined looking expression on his face. Kratos could not figure out what was going on inside of his head, however.
It had been a long time since he had been able to do that.
"You're not going to just passively sit and let him do whatever the hell he wants. I know the look in your eye," he snorted. "You have a plan, and if I know you, it's probably incredibly stupid."
"I have no idea what you are referring to," Kratos began to walk past him, but Yuan grabbed his sleeve and spun him around.
"Damnit, Kratos! Listen to me for once in you Sylph forsaken life!" His blue brow was knit tightly over his green eyes, his voice a low growl. "I don't care what your plan is. It probably has to do with that girl, but I frankly don't give a rat's ass what's going on inside that head of yours."
Kratos simply started at him, waited for him to continue. He knew that Yuan would not relent until he had said his piece.
"I want you to realize that what you're doing actually has serious consequences. When you first contacted me about …. All of this," Yuan motioned about them as if to indicate everything their actions had created, "I thought you were just complaining, being irrational, but you went through with it. And you should know –" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened his eyes again. 'You should know that if you go through with this, he won't be lenient on you. Whatever you're going to do, you're not just going to be able to walk around and do whatever you want."
Kratos' brow furrowed to mirror Yuan's.
"Kratos, you're going to make yourself Yggdrasill's enemy …" His eyes, his expression, they were earnest. "Are you prepared to do that?"
"I've thought about it," Kratos said. "Or do you forget who you are speaking to?"
"Right. Mister I Always Consider the Consequences of My Actions," Yuan's smile was light, a reminder of their old bond, of the humor that had once flowed between them. Yet it was gone a moment later, replaced by a frown. "But do you really understand what the consequences are, Kratos? Their full scope? I have to wonder if you do."
Kratos frowned and for a long moment stared at his old companion before sighing and running his hands through his hair, turning away from Yuan. "Even if I do not, Yuan, I cannot live this way anymore. I cannot allow this … Bloodshed to continue. Even if all I can do is steal and hide away the lynchpin of his plans, even if that is nothing in the grand scale of things … I have to do something." His voice took on a bitter note. "My only regret is that I did not realize this sooner."
He could feel Yuan hesitate, words on the end of his tongue, as if he were struggling with whether or not to entrust Kratos with some vital piece of information. Hearing something whistle through the air, Kratos turned around and caught a small, sleek, communicator. "It's a dircet line that will contact you with me. I can't do much, but … I would be a piss poor excuse for your friend if I let you get killed."
"And it is secure?" Kratos asked, looking at the small device in his hand.
He received a snort in response, and an eye roll. "Oh please, Aurion. I've been doing this whole "running around behind Yggdrasill's back" thing longer than you have." A smirk graced his features. "Trust me, it's secure."
Renegades.
The word flashed briefly through Kratos' head, but he dismissed it, offering Yuan his thanks and then turning to leave. He would go back to the Ranch and after a day or so, would execute his plans, after all, Yggdrasill was sufficiently distracted by his own musings and would not pull out of them enough to give orders until much later.
Kratos could do this.
Would do this.
There was no longer an option.
Finally, a plan a week in the making would come to fruition and Kratos would perhaps stall the very plan he had come to detest.
He froze in his path only when he heard Yuan's voice. "Don't die, Stupid Human."
And with a smile on his lips at the old endearment, knowing full well his old friend could hear him, Kratos responded.
"I do not intend to."
