Previously on Dance Academy: Last Chapter: Christian finally made it to the hospital, but the short glimpse of Tara's struggle with the simplest walking task during her rehabilitation is enough to make him run from a pain he cannot cope with.

Tiptoeing on Broken Glass

Suddenly, I'm by the harbour. I must have been walking on autopilot but this is the last place on earth I want to be. I'm too near what used to be my run route, too near where we lost Sammy. Ah, there it is, his name, coming to me whole, at long last. Why now, when I'm so disoriented, so lost, in so much pain? Why I am choosing this time to unlock more heart ache? Am I really a glutton for punishment or something?

I veer off the main road and up the hill. I shake all thoughts away and break into a run. I only stop when I get to a grassy area that's just too inviting, until I recognise it.

WHAM. My whole body scrunches up as the memory assaults me.

I had rescued her from being stranded out of the club. She had been deep in talk with the bouncer. Making friends was that easy for her. I had shut her off all that while but that night I had opened up. I had let her in and she completely took over. I hadn't expected the fun side to her, the crazy walking, the race cheating, the night time dancing, on this very spot where she slipped and I had lowered her to the ground. How I tried to kiss her and she had rolled away, whatever fragile trust she grown for me tossed aside.

POW. That one was like a blow to the back of my legs and my kneecaps hit the ground.

She had kissed me on the beach, as we failed to catch that crazy dog. She had done the move, I had just waited. The taste of her still lingers, a different kind of saltiness from the one of the sea air. How much she had regretted it, how clearly she had let me know. 'It never happened.'

PUNCH. That one when goes straight to my stomach, bitterness coming up, dragging away the delicious salt.

I had tried to show her how dependable I could be, how I would never let her fall, how she needed to trust herself, how she could truly trust me. And maybe she had, till she saw Kat kissing me, when I had been stupid enough to let her. The sight of her, the shock on her face, the pain, the disgust. My stomach lurches again. She had run away and I'd run after her but never caught up.

Just thinking about it, I'm completely out of breath.

Some would say that having two terrific girls fight over you must be a real boost to the ego, but man is it not. Not when in the end they chose each other over you. Tara saw me as just a friend! Friend!

WHOOSH. I lose my balance and my forehead hits the ground. I kind of wish the ground would be harder, that it would actually hurt a little outside instead of just inside.

I did get there through to her, eventually, on a day where she had more fun I had ever seen her enjoy, and it had been with me. How did I ever think I could get away from the guilt of her fall? How could have I been so blind. But for crying out loud I had tried, I had asked, I had trusted her answers. But clearly she still didn't trust me enough. I had even got her snow. I had waited for her to come after me. She chose dance. She always chooses dance. And was Dance going to repay her now?

BAM. I let myself drop completely and roll on my back, my eyes blinded by the sharp light of the sun.

I'm not sure how long I stayed, playing back all the drama of our on/off relationship. How it never lasted. How I always walked. How she never held me back. How that needed to change.

Eventually, I recover and walk, but not away this time. I'm going back.

She's in her bed this time. Her mother, the only person at Tara's bedside, gets up the minute I walk in and taps the tip of Tara's foot poking out from under the sheet. 'I'll leave you two alone,' she says and exits the room.

And I just stand there, fiddling with the straps of my rucksack. I should have come with one of the others. It would have been easier, for me and for her. I can't be enough, I never was.

Tara smiles that shy one sided grin that just melts my insides. Does she really not know the effect it has on me?

'Come on, sit down.'

I aim for the chair the furthest from her but then I change my mind. I don't actually decide to but when I sit down in her mum's chair, I also take her hand. And she lets me. And we stay like this for ages. Just like we had on the last night of tour, we talk about this and that: the little events in hospital life, the nurses that were kind, the ones that were condescending. I had dislocated my shoulder too many times skating. It needed surgery to be fixed. I have the scars to prove it and stories of my own to contribute. The way she smiles when I tell her about Nurse Larry who was as camp as can be and yet the least derogatory one of all the nurses I'd met, it 's like I'm opening up my chest of treasure for her to see. But I'm not made of treasure, I'm made of dirt and darkness. She knows that.

'How long did you stay in hospital?'

'Only a few days. But I never stuck to the brace I had to wear, in the end the doctors had no choice but put me in a plaster cast.'

Tara looks at the monstrous white brace by the side of her bed. 'Well it's brace for me too, and I'm going to use it.' She puts on that determined face on that tells everyone she is not someone to mess with. But the mask slips off before it can take any kind of hold. 'But I'm going to be here for another few days, things are not going quite as well as they should.'

I just nod.

'You have to come and see me though, often.' She squeezes my hand really hard, as if to make me really pay attention, but I'm already all ears. 'Everyone is so busy.'

'And I'm not?' And there's that snap again. When will I ever stop getting riled up so easily like this? Her face dulls, her gorgeous smile fading away as she looks down at her fingers. They are nearly as red as her mother's. I take hold of her hand again. 'Course I'll come, I just wish I was a little more... entertaining, you know, more fun.'

'Christian, this is the most fun I had all day, trust me.'

'I doubt that, you saw Kat this morning.'

Tara rolls her eyes. 'And everyone else.' She shuffles in her bed but winces. Automatically, I'm on my feet. 'Are you alright, is there anything I can do?'

She smiles again with a gentle shake of her head. 'Don't worry about it.'

My jaw clench. 'What, is it too boring or something?'

Her gaze roams over my face, then becomes hard.

I sit back again, take a deep breath and soothe my features. 'Tara, I want to know, I really do. How are you, really?'

Tara sighs, it takes a while before she speaks again, even longer to make eye contact. 'I'm stranded on here, I can't even turn to my side without help, I can't walk, I can't get up, I can't pee by myself. Is that what you want to know?'

'Actually, yes.'

Tara grumbles. If she were mobile, she would be off.

'So everyone came then?'

Here's the eye roll again. Tara breathes deeply, but her chest catches and she winces. 'Yes, the nurses had to do a five minute rota thing.'

My throat tightens as jealousy rises in me. I should have been first, I should have been there.

When I look up at her again, she is beaming. 'Did you hear? Abi and Ollie got a place!'

It's amazing how all that happened just two days ago seems so distant. It's hard to believe that I haven't seen any of them. That they haven't even crossed my mind. Some kind of friend I am, all I have done is try to avoid them.

'That's - that's great. Wow, they were so worried. Wow, I'm - I'm so pleased for them.'

'Yes, it's great isn't it.' Her face darkens a bit. 'Ben didn't which is so bad, so ... weird. Maybe I should have talked him out of doing that other solo -'

'No, Tara, you can't think that way. He made his choice, end of story.'

She nods. 'He said he auditioned for Marcus. He is going tomorrow, to meet the Austin Company, to find out more about it.' Her face is all lit up again. Tara just shines in happiness for him. I want to share that feeling, but to be honest, all I do is worry. Is he the one she's going to chose, ultimately? Will she end up in Austin too? 'What about Grace?' I just about manage to ask.

'Grace has booked her ticket for Vietnam.'

'Oh.'

'I think she might be giving up on Dance again. So is Kat.'

'Oh.'

I just don't know where to look, so I settle on my own hands, now in my lap. My thumb is pushing into the other's nail bed. It's already getting red. Maybe red finger tips is one of those ''being in a hospital'' side effect.

We both wait. What will I say to her when she asks about my interview? If I want honesty from her, isn't that what I should be willing to give in exchange? When I look up, she is staring at me, probing, only to return to my face and back again to her hands. And I can't make myself speak.

'

Sorry folks for taking a while before posting this scene. I had to do some serious research on rehabilitation and on character motivation to build the rest of the plotline. I had to re-watch all the episodes for my research. I know, lucky me!