author's note: a big thank you to haritori for her speedy beta.
Substitute Affections — A Bleach Fanfiction
by Akane-Rei
Part One: The Betrothal
Chapter Nine: Breaking Point
After accepting more hesitant congratulations from her subordinates in her division, Rukia finally walked into her office and welcomed the silence that greeted her. She leaned against the closed door and closed her eyes. Her head was pounding. While she could still hear the bustle of activity outside, the physical separation provided by the sliding door, as well as the walls of her office, was enough to give her the feeling of isolation she so desperately wanted at this point. For as much as she loved Kiyone, Sentarou, her captain, and the rest of her division, she didn't know whether she was prepared to answer any more questions or respond to any more awkward congratulations. As strange as it might seem, the only thing she really wanted to do right now was bury herself in paperwork.
When she'd left in a hurry yesterday, she had winced at the thought of the piles and piles of reports that she still needed to go through. But she'd had an appointment with the Kuchikis and Nii-sama so she had left in a hurry, not wanting to be late. Who would have thought that after the events of yesterday and today that she would actually be thankful that she could sink herself into the mindlessness that was the bureaucracy of the Gotei 13?
Pushing herself against the door, she opened her eyes and lit one of the lamps in the room to provide a more soothing light. She didn't want to open any of her windows and the shoji doors, translucent as they were, they provided only minimal sunlight since they faced the west. Satisfied with the way the office was for now, she sat behind her desk and curled against her chair for just a second.
Why was it that this place was more of a home to her than the Kuchiki main house? Here, instead of the hushed whispers of the servants, she could hear the sounds Kiyone and Sentarou's easy laughter. She could hear the sounds of swords as they clash against each other while her comrades sparred and practiced their craft. All the sounds and noises that came from the morning routine of the thirteenth division served to relax her in some way.
She yawned and stretched.
Damn but her shoulders and back were stiff. She must have slept wrong last night.
Come to think of it, she didn't really get that much sleep. Too much thinking, too much worrying. If Matsumoto saw her now, she'd reprimand her for the bags under her eyes and the strain in her face. She took a deep breath. Maybe she could take just a small nap. Fifteen minutes, tops. She always did sleep much better here at headquarters than at the main house anyway…
"Kuchiki!"
She jerked her eyes open and found her captain giving her a smirk.
"Sleeping on the job, Kuchiki?"
She blushed furiously as she sat up straight. How long had she been out? She looked across her and at the pile of paperwork at her desk. She wasn't…she hadn't been drooling, had she? She would have sworn that she closed her eyes just that second—
"You shouldn't tease her, Captain Ukitake," came Captain Unohana's voice.
She could die. She could die right now and it would be quite alright. She closed her eyes in embarrassment as she stood up to salute both captains before her. This couldn't be happening. It was one thing to get caught sleeping in front of paperwork by her own captain, but it was quite another thing to have another captain catch her in the act. The only saving grace she could find in this whole situation was that at least it wasn't Nii-sama who appeared behind Captain Ukitake.
"Nah," her captain brushed off the slight reprimand. "Kuchiki's used to me doing that. Half the time she's the one who catches me sleeping on the job!" He turned to her. "Relax, Kuchiki!" He grinned. "I promise I won't tattle to your new betrothed."
She gritted her teeth and mouthed a polite "Thank you" before climbing over her desk and tugging at her captain's haori. "Whatever happened to knocking before entering, captain?" she hissed under her breath.
Captain Ukitake gave her a wide smile. "Oh but we did!" he told her. "Didn't we, Unohana? Quite loudly too!" He peered at her closely. "You didn't think you could hide from us, did you?"
Belatedly, she noticed the underlying worry beneath the jovial tone of his voice.
Ah, damn! How long had she been asleep? And how long had they been knocking? She must have been really out for her not to have heard them.
"Not to worry, Vice-Captain Kuchiki," Captain Unohana said gently. "You most likely deserve to rest after such a busy night and morning."
"Ah," she said, biting her lip and not knowing what else to say.
"Well, Kuchiki does sleep better here than at home anyway," commented her captain thoughtfully.
Rukia gave him a glare.
"Oh?" the fourth division captain stated with a worried expression.
Rukia glared even more at her captain.
"Yep!" he confirmed. "Whenever she sleeps here, she usually wakes up refreshed in the morning. When she gets here in the morning from home, though, she often looks like something the cat dragged in."
"Thank you very much," she interrupted. Something the cat dragged in?
"And she's crankier. Ask all the thirteenth division who saw her this morning. I heard she gave them an earful—"
Rukia clapped her hands against his mouth and threw a sickly smile towards Captain Unohana. "Can you excuse us for a moment, please?" she said with forced cheerfulness before dragging her captain outside her office.
"We'll be back in a sec, Unohana!" Ukitake called back as he allowed himself to be forcibly taken outside and down the hall.
"What's the big idea!" she growled, looking furiously at him once they were alone. "Are you trying to embarrass me in front of Captain Unohana or what?"
At first, he gave her an innocent look.
Something she clearly wasn't about to buy.
Then he gave a deep sigh before throwing her a contemplative look.
"You're exhausted," he said directly. "And tense. You were probably wound up so tight since last night that you barely even slept. The first time you relaxed was probably in that office of yours. And if I hadn't been so worried, I would have left you there to sleep." He paused. "We did knock, Rukia. Loudly."
Again she flushed. "I was just resting my eyes," she protested. What time was it anyway?
He gave her a skeptical look before shaking his head. "Rukia," he said softly. "Do you know why I asked Captain Unohana to help us with this whole betrothal?"
"I…I assumed that she has an extensive knowledge of Soul Society traditions," she replied uncertainly.
"Besides that," he said. "If that was the only thing I was looking for, I could have asked Nanao Ise or even Nemu Kurotsuchi—both of whom are closer to you than Unohana."
True. She had spent enough time with both vice-captains at those Shinigami Women's Association meetings that she would have been more comfortable with them.
"Unohana is first and foremost a healer," Captain Ukitake informed her. "And I knew…I knew that this engagement of yours will place an inordinate amount of burden on your shoulders. I've asked for Unohana's help not only so that she could help you with all the little details of the engagement, but also keep an eye on how you're doing as well."
"Oh great!" she muttered. "Just great! You think I need fourth division help too?" she asked, feeling slightly betrayed. "First Ichigo and Renji and now you, too? Do I have the word 'fragile' and 'helpless' stamped on my forehead or something?"
"Hmm…so that rumor about the two fourth division seated officers coming to your rescue at Renji-kun's apartment was true?" her captain asked in a hushed whisper.
"Captain!"
"Hey! I was just curious," he said defensively. "I'll have to warn Shunsui what a lightweight you are before the wedding. Knowing that guy, he'll probably be there to keep pouring sake in your cup."
"Are you making fun of me?" she asked threateningly.
"A little," he said with a deadpan expression in his face. Again another deep sigh. "Let Unohana help you get through this next month, Rukia. She and I will make sure you get through this wedding unscathed."
"You make it sound as if I'm going to battle a hollow," she said with a bitter edge to her tone. "It's only a wedding." And wasn't that what she kept telling herself last night? It's only a wedding. What's more, she really didn't even have to do anything. Sanada-san said he would take care of all the details. The way he made it sound, the only thing she had to do was show up at the designated time.
"It's your wedding," Captain Ukitake agreed. "To Byakuya Kuchiki," he added, as if that explained it all.
And thinking back to all the anxiety she had experienced these past twenty-four hours, maybe it did.
"We're here to help make sure that you don't get so exhausted that you don't even hear your captain knocking worriedly on your door," he said gently. He grinned. "I'm sickly, you know. I can't be worrying about your health, too."
Her eyes narrowed. "You know, I'm noticing a pattern here," she said slowly. "Why is it that you only call attention to your being sick whenever you're trying to guilt-trip me into doing something?"
He laughed. "You only noticed now?" he asked mischievously. "I've been doing it for years!" he informed her gleefully. "Now, you and I both know that it's my trump card so you're pretty much going to give in to my demands…I mean requests!...give in to my requests! So why don't we go back to your office and see Unohana? She's probably worried about you, too." This time he held out his hand to her and waited.
Shaking her head, she placed her hand on his palm and allowed herself to be ushered back into her office where Captain Unohana greeted her with a smile.
"I trust that you have properly reprimanded Captain Ukitake for his breach of etiquette?" she asked kindly.
Rukia smiled gratefully.
"I had thought that we could go shopping for the yui-no today, Vice-Captain Kuchiki," she continued. "However, upon further thought, I believe that it would be better if you were to rest for the remainder of the day."
Rest? For the remainder of the day?
"But it's not even noon!" she exclaimed in surprise. At least, she didn't think it was. If she could figure out how long she'd been asleep…She looked at her desk. "And I have to finish these reports!"
"Those can wait!" interrupted Ukitake.
Again she glared at him.
"Don't worry, Kuchiki-san," Captain Unohana reassured her. "We have all day tomorrow that we can devote to the shopping of the traditional gifts. I know of several places that will be quite suitable."
Shopping for gifts? Traditional gifts?
"Of course, if there is something personal you would like to present to your betrothed, I am sure we will have time for that too."
She plopped down on one of the chairs in her office. Maybe, just maybe, she was in over her head in this. She was supposed to give gifts at the engagement ceremony?
"I must insist on a day of rest for you, however," she continued. "Shopping can be exhausting work and I would like you to be refreshed tomorrow." She smiled. "Perhaps it would be best if I walked you home?"
"What?" she asked. "I don't need to go home," she protested. "I can rest right here."
"Is that so?" she asked skeptically. "You won't be tempted just a little to take a peek at those reports sitting on your desk? You won't go out and help train new recruits if you hear them outside? You won't go to your captain's office to see if there's anything left he had to finish?"
She flushed and looked back at her captain. "You tattle tale!" she accused.
He lifted his hands in innocent surrender. "I didn't say anything about your workaholic tendencies," he defended. "Although now that I think about it, I really should have."
Captain Unohana smiled. "I hear about you from my own officers, Kuchiki-san," she revealed. "Inoue and Hanatarou are, I believe, close friends of yours."
She looked at both captains, surprise evident in her face. "I don't believe this. Are you sending me home?"
They nodded.
"But you said so yourself that I relax better here," she returned, turning to her captain.
He waved off her concern. "Byakuya is unlikely to be home today or even this evening," he told her. "He's another workaholic, like you, and he should be swamped in his own headquarters right now. Not to mention all the meetings he undoubtedly has." He gave her a look. "That gets rid of your primary source of tension at the main house so you should be able to unwind better."
"But—"
"No buts," he said. "You really shouldn't be arguing with a sick man, anyway."
"Sick man, my a—"
"Kuchiki-san," Captain Unohana interrupted. "Should I meet you at your house tomorrow morning then?"
She glanced back at the healer and felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "Sorry," she mumbled. For some reason, she felt like she had to apologize for the language she had been about to use. Why did she feel like she was being ganged up on all sides? First the Kuchikis, then Renji and Ichigo and the fourth division fiasco, and now Captain Ukitake and Captain Unohana, not to mention Inoue and Hanatarou's big mouths.
"No, that's alright," she replied. "I can go to the fourth division headquarters instead. It would be out of your way to have to go to the main house when we'll be leaving to go shopping anyway."
"It is arranged, then," she said softly. "As I've said, you should take the day off today and rest. I'm sure your captain will understand."
"Oh I do, I do!" her captain agreed. "Wholeheartedly I do."
Take the day off and rest? Sounds more like a punishment to her. What the heck was she supposed to do with the rest of the day? It's not like she could go bother Ichigo or Renji. Those two had their own division duties to take care of. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't even sure what to say to them after last night.
Damn.
"Do you need an escort to go home, Kuchiki-san?"
An escort?
"No, thank you!" she replied, hurriedly, standing up from her position. Now she's beginning to wonder how horrible she must look that they kept offering to have someone accompany her home. Did she look like she might collapse at any minute? "Actually," she said, thinking madly of a way of getting out of going home for now, "since I have all this free time now, I was thinking of visiting Kukaku-dono before going home." Yeah. That sounded good. Visiting someone away from Seireitei definitely held an appeal. "I haven't seen her in ages," she added.
"That's alright then," Captain Unohana stated. "But please make sure you get some rest before tomorrow. It will be a long day."
"And don't worry about the paperwork!" Captain Ukitake reassured her. "I'm sure Kiyone and Sentarou can do some of them so that you won't be too behind after tomorrow."
She noticed that he didn't volunteer himself for that little chore. She looked at both of them with uncertainty. "If you're sure…"
"Good-bye, Kuchiki!" Captain Ukitake waved, after gently prodding her out of the door.
She knew they meant well, but why did she feel like she was being kicked out of her own office? She looked at the gently closed door in front of her and sighed. A trip to Rukongai sounded really appealing right now. Anything to get away from Seireitei. And visiting Kukaku-dono always had a way of taking her mind off her troubles.
He stopped in his tracks when the very man he had been cursing under his breath stepped out of his own captain's office.
What the hell was Rukia's brother doing here?
He himself had been on his way to see Yama-ji when he saw Byakuya Kuchiki walk down the corridors of the first division headquarters. He didn't know what twisted plan of fate had him encounter Byakuya this very morning, but he couldn't help but feel that someone somewhere was laughing at him. With a determined scowl on his face, he strode towards the man Rukia considered her family in Soul Society.
"Byakuya," he called out in greeting, all the while hearing Rukia's reprimanding voice in his head as she instructed him once again to address her brother using the proper honorific or title befitting his rank. Damn midget never got tired of telling him what to do. He shook his head as if to clear it and approached the sixth division captain, knowing that the other shinigami would have probably just as soon ignored him.
"Ichigo Kurosaki," Byakuya returned neutrally.
He tightened his jaw. Something about Rukia's brother always pissed him off. Maybe it was true, that saying they had about first impressions always sticking with you. Because try as he might, he could never ever seem to forget the fact that it was Byakuya who took Rukia back to Soul Society that fateful night and lifted not one finger to help prevent her execution. He was supposed to have been her Nii-sama, for god's sake. What the hell kind of excuse was following the rules?
He stood still and stared at the man who had no business calling himself Rukia's brother, let alone her fiancée. He'd imagined in his head a dozen scenarios where he confronted Byakuya regarding this stupid engagement, and yet none of them came to mind now, when it actually mattered.
"Was there anything you wished to discuss?" Byakuya asked without as much as a flicker of emotion in those black eyes as they stared loftily at him.
He took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I heard," he started, attempting to get the distasteful words out of his mouth, "I heard that you and your clan have talked Rukia into some idiotic idea of an engagement."
One supercilious brow lifted in response. "Your disrespectful way of addressing a noble alliance will not make it any less valid," he stated back evenly. He looked beyond him before looking back. "I, of course, assume that your choice of words were not quite the words Rukia used to describe our betrothal."
Ichigo winced. Okay, so maybe he could have worded it better.
How the hell did the sixth division captain do it? It must be some sort of talent to be able to reduce him to feeling like a damn schoolboy being scolded by the principal. "No," he admitted through gritted teeth, "that wasn't quite how Rukia described it. According to her, it seems that you two are to be married."
Byakuya gave him a piercing glance. "That is correct," he answered and looked at him expectantly.
A little puzzled by the look, Ichigo frowned in response. Did the man actually expect him to congratulate him or something? The hell. "It seems a little sudden, don't you think?" he asked instead. "I actually talk to Rukia and I didn't even know that a marriage between the two of you was on the table."
With a steady look, Byakuya said, "And why should you? I see no reason for you to be informed of the comings and goings of the Kuchiki family."
"Still," he ventured to say, "I would have thought that your advisors would have wanted to avoid any unpleasant gossip that might stem from such a…hasty announcement."
"The Kuchikis do not concern themselves with idle gossip," he said coldly. He tilted his head, as if giving consideration to what he was about to say, before stating, "Either way, as the marriage is next month, whatever gossip there may be would die a quick death afterwards."
Next month? "Next month!" he repeated blankly.
"I am sure I speak for Rukia when I say that she would be more than happy to have you at the reception," Byakuya added tonelessly. "The ceremony, I'm afraid, is limited to family members and representatives only."
If he didn't know any better, he would swear this ass was doing his best to piss him off! "The fuck!" he finally said. "What do you mean it's next month?"
He could see the slight tightening in Byakuya's mouth at his language, but he didn't care.
Shit!
Next month?
"I take it Rukia has not informed you of the date?" he asked as if it were of no consequence whatsoever that he had just dropped what constituted to a bombshell on his lap.
"Obviously," he bit out. He was damn sure he and Renji would have remembered that little detail.
"It was a late development," Byakuya conceded. "She may not have had the time to."
Damn right it must have been a late development! They just saw Rukia last night! "Next month," he said again, dazed. That wasn't enough time! They didn't even have a working plan! He had expected the engagement to last at least a year or two. Wasn't that the typical time? Especially for these noble families?
"Is there a problem?" Byakuya's voice interrupted his thoughts.
Yeah, there's a damn problem! Convincing Rukia that she's making the biggest mistake of her incredibly long shinigami life just got that much more urgent. He looked at Byakuya, at those cold eyes that looked back at him knowingly. Almost as if he could tell—
He shook himself. He had nothing to hide from this man. "Byakuya," he growled, conscious of the fact that more than one curious ear must be listening to them in this corridor. "Why did you do it?" he asked quietly, not an easy thing to do, considering the way he felt right now. "You knew," his voice vibrated with suppressed emotions, "you knew that when you and your family surrounded her with this proposition, you knew she wouldn't be able say no."
Byakuya looked at him with those inscrutable eyes before stating, "It is not your concern." He began to walk away when Ichigo grabbed his sleeve to stop him.
"The hell you say! Rukia's…Rukia's…my friend. You and your clan…manipulated her with this engagement. You didn't even give her a day to think about it! Something about the whole thing stinks of coercion and…and…it's not right!"
"I have not coerced Rukia in any way to agree to this betrothal," Byakuya's voice came out steadily as he looked down at the hand that held his sleeve before looking back at him. "She agreed to it of her own free will. For you to say differently is to insult not only her, but me and the rest of the Kuchiki clan as well. Was that your intent, Lieutenant Kurosaki?"
"No!" he barked. "I never meant to insult Rukia," he clarified. He let go of the sleeve he had been holding and stood back to face Byakuya eye to eye. "But you and the rest of your so-called noble clan…why did you do it?" he asked again. "You could have stopped the advisors if you'd wanted to. I know you could have. One word from you, one word from the Kuchiki head was all it would have taken."
"You understand nothing," Byakuya said as he began to walk away again. "You understand nothing about rules and obligations. You know nothing about the burden of familial duty."
"No, I don't understand!" he declared, following the man. Familial duty? This man called his marriage to Rukia nothing but a familial duty? "You're right about that. I don't understand how rules and obligations and duties take precedence over life." He took a deep breath. "This is her life you guys are trying to run."
"And if that truly were the case, if the goal of this marriage really were just to run Rukia's life, what makes you so sure that we won't do an adequate job of it?" he replied carelessly. "What makes you think this marriage is a mistake?" Byakuya peered at him closely. "Because that is what you are leading up to, correct?"
"Yes!" he said honestly. "You and your clan can't make her happy," he told him. "She's lived with you for about a century now and I know she's not happy there. At least not with you. Not at the Kuchiki main house. Certainly not as your sister." He paused, taking a deep breath, before saying what he'd wanted to say from the very beginning. "What…what makes you think she'll be any happier as your wife?"
If possible, Byakuya's face became even more impassive. "Happiness?" he mouthed in an almost startled response as he stopped for a brief second to look at him. "Whatever makes you think this marriage has anything to do with anyone's happiness?" he asked stoically.
And with that, he turned once again and walked away.
And this time, Ichigo didn't follow him or hold him back.
To be continued.
more author's notes: another chapter in the lives of the shinigami in soul society. hope you all enjoyed this and thank you, thank you for all the positive feedback i've been getting regarding this story. thanks for taking the time to review! you all rock!
