Hello yes hi, I am still alive. I'm sorry for the 3000 year wait, things have been busy, and I have been in pain. Too much work. Boo. :( Just keep supporting me, that's all I can really ask.

Greenfire: I play so much Pokemon. It's not even funny. It's my life, lately. Work and Pokemon. And sleep. A lot of that. As for this story, all I can say is that time will tell.


Athrun had spent most of the night catching up with Dearka and Yzak. Though Yzak pretended to hate him, they both knew they had a twisted sort of friendship. It was that same friendship that had them sitting around a table, sharing drinks. Yzak's girlfriend—and wasn't that a strange concept—Shiho, joined them after a while. Miriallia stopping by a little later, and then the Hawke sisters, Shinn in tow, settled in a few minutes after that.

...it was not until Cagalli dropped into the chair next to him that things really got interesting, however.

"The room actually looks presentable. They must've let Kira take over. Even a blind man has better taste than you," Yzak quipped.

From his left, Cagalli all but spit. "Shut up, Joule. And don't bring my brother into this. That's not funny."

Before the argument could continue, Shinn slammed one hand down on the table. "That's actually true?"

"What're you whining about now?" Yzak griped, sighing at the interruption.

"It's true," Miriallia chimed in. "They're twins."

"No way. I mean, she's a Natural and there's no way he is!"

"Shinn," Athrun sighed, "use your head."

"I'd been meaning to ask, who was adopted?" Meyrin asked, tilting her head slightly. Beside her, Lunamaria gasped.

"Meyrin! That's rude!"

Meyrin pouted, but kept her gaze on Cagalli. For her part, Cagalli chuckled.

"We both were, actually, just by different families."

"So, what the hell happened to your actual parents?" Shinn demanded.

"They died, Shinn," Cagalli said evenly. "Don't bother asking me how, I don't really know the details. We were only babies."

"Who cares? It's your guys' business anyway," Dearka said, shrugging. "Kinda rude to drill you on it."

"Why the hell are you defending her?" Shinn demanded, drawing a snort out of Yzak, of all people.

"It's because their friends. What exactly is your problem with Cagalli, anyway? Did she pull some evil stunt I'm unaware of?"

"My family died in Orb!"

"So that's her fault? Excactly which of the thousands who died there were yours, anyway? Did she point a gun at them and shoot? Somehow, I doubt it. Wanna blame someone? Blame them for living there."

"Yzak, that's too much," Dearka hissed.

"Oh, lay off, Dearka. If he wants to be an idiot and blame her for this, someone's gotta point that out. And it sure won't be any of you. The way I see it, Cagalli was as much a victim of that war as anyone."

"I can't believe I'm agreeing with Yzak," Miriallia cut in, "but he's right. If you have some grudge against Cagalli, it's time to let it go."

"Well, if you're putting me on the spot, then I gotta agree too," Dearka said.

Athrun said nothing, but he reached over and took her hand, squeezing gently. The silent support was well received, as she returned the gesture.

"You guys..." Cagalli breathed, glancing around the table. "Thank you."

"Shinn, please...let this go," Lunamaria begged.

Meyrin looked up from the table, where she had been gazing uncertainly, to nod once.

"What the hell—even you guys? Why are you defending her?!" Shinn demanded, clearly feeling put-upon. Athrun could hardly blame him for that. "She's...!"

"A person. With feelings. Wants. Cares. Loves. Guilt. The same as anyone. If you want to start pointing fingers, can you justifiably do that knowing all the people, parents and brothers, sisters and cousins, grandchildren and lovers, you yourself have killed?

"...did I say something wrong?" Athrun asked, stopping his rant dead as over a dozen eyes settled on him.

Cagalli broke first, chuckling softly. "You sounded like Lacus."

"You really did, Miriallia replied, smirking. "She'd be proud, Athrun. Really."

"I...was only speaking from experience." He thought about it each and every day.

Silence fell over the group, then. Shinn was glaring at the table, though he at least seemed to be considering their words. Everyone else was quiet, sipping at their drinks and, perhaps, considering the words themselves—who amongst them had truly clean hands, anyway?

It was Shiho, who had stayed silent until now, who broke it first. "Dance. You. Me. Floor. Now, Yzak." Not giving him a chance to object, she grasped his arm and yanked him up, dragging Yzak's struggling form off to the dance floor. Not in time, however.

"Bet I can out dance you, Princess."

Oh, damn...!

"Athrun, let's go!"

He was not given a chance to object as her hand closed over his wrist, and he was yanked from the chair and after the other couple.


"Well, that was lively," Miriallia commented, a small smirk on her lips as she watched the show move away from them. "Bet we could outdo any of them."

Her words did not seem to be aimed at anyone, but it was clear Dearka caught her meaning as he perked up, looking straight at her. She made no move to show she had noticed him noticing her comment, however, and simply took a sip of her punch.

"Are you ever going to drop this, Shinn?" Lunamaria asked, leaning forward over the table, her chin in one palm.

"...it's my parents, Luna. How the hell am I supposed to just let that go?"

Miriallia scoffed. "Why not start by considering the fact that she lost not one but two families herself." It was a low blow, but whatever. The kid was ridiculous. "We all lost people. Athrun killed my boyfriend, you know. I don't hate him, because there's no point in doing so. We all did shit we aren't proud of. I know he's sorry, I forgave him and moved on. Now he's a good friend. If I'd chosen to hate him, to kill him...what would that have gotten me?" Now, she looked at Dearka. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Mir..." Dearka breathed, and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't get sappy on me. I'm not saying I'm glad I missed, but..."

The point was made, and he settled back, smirking. "You do still like me."

"Shove it, Elsman."

Shinn crushed his empty cup in one hand. Lunamaria reached over, taking it from his fist, and closed her hand over his. "Shinn..."

"What...it makes sense, what you're babbling about, but I can't just let that go!"

"Nobody is saying you have to be best friends with her, or even Kira, but at least try. Try, or you won't have any place in this group," she warned, standing. "Now, let's go, Elsman. Keep up, or I'll find someone else."

She did not look back at the pair of crimson eyes tracking her path to the dance floor.


Lunamaria frowned sadly as Shinn fumed in silence. She wanted badly for him to see things their way, but she could not bring herself to disrespect his feelings. Shinn was battling with demons the likes of which she was thankful not to face herself.

...but even that degree of empathy was not enough to stop her from making new friends of these people. She understood his feelings, at least a well as could be expected in these circumstances, and it was because of that fact that she also knew he needed to move past it. Honestly, it seemed as though Shinn knew that himself. He was actively trying to better himself, she could see it in everything he did, but it was very clearly difficult for him. So she had to be here to support him.

Someone had to.

"Why do you think he was defending her, Luna?"

It took her a moment to catch up, so lost in her own thoughts had she been. Who was he? Who was her, for that matter? She...Cagalli, probably. So...

"Yzak?"

Shinn shook his head. "Dammit, all of them. Commander Joule, Athrun, Dearka...even your friend, Miriallia! They all..."

"They're her friends, Shinn," Lunamaria said quietly. To her side, Meyrin quietly excused herself, but Lunamaria barely noticed, her attention entirely on Shinn. "Of course they'd defend her."

"And you? Meyrin, too! You were all defending her." The defeat in his tone twisted her heartstrings. Leaning over, she closed her hands over his, which were clenched on the table. "Why?"

"She's our friend too, Shinn. And..."

"You think I'm wrong," he supplied.

Hesitating only a moment, she finally nodded. Lying to him, or buttering it up, was not going to help. He needed the truth.

"I'm not saying there's no justification to how you feel, I can't begin to imagine how this feels to you, but I think you'd feel better if you could let it go. These are good people, people who are willing to give you a chance at being their friend, you just have to forgive them."

"How do I do that, Luna?" he asked, his voice low and...tired. "I've been trying, but I can't. I can't."

"I...don't think I can tell you how to do that. Maybe, though...you need to ask yourself what's more important, now."

"What do you mean?"

"Which is it? An old grudge, or the future?"

"Mayu—"

"I'm not asking about her. You can still love and value and respect your family without hating everyone with any connection to their deaths, though. Honestly, Shinn, is this really what they'd want?"

A long silence fell, with Shinn's eye boring holes into their hands. At long last, he drew back, hands slipping out from under hers. Dropping his head to them, he let out a long, shuddering breath.

"No."

They sat in silence for several minutes longer. After his admittance, Lunamaria wanted to give him the time to sort through his own feelings. Much to her relief, it was he who finally broke it first.

"Can we...find Yamato?"

A curious request, but she quickly nodded. "I know I've seen him and Miss Lacus around."

They left the table, then, taking their things and wandering off to search the room. It was large, spacious, and Lunamaria found herself wondering why on earth a house had a room this large, and what it was used for normally. Beneath the decorations, tables, and with all the people packed in, it wasn't immediately obvious.

The party itself was fairly large, though for the most part it seemed that a lot of the people knew one another. A few questions revealed that most of the partygoers were ships' crews, which she supposed was understandable. At least that was something they had in common with these strangers, she supposed.

After more than fifteen minutes of searching with no success, Lunamaria shrugged. "Maybe we should ask someone."

"Ask someone what?"

Turning, surprised, Lunamaria blinked in surprise at the man standing behind them. Tall, shaggy brown hair, a missing eye and arm...

"Commander Waltfeldt?"

"The one and only. Did you kids need something?"

"Yeah," Shinn said after a moment of Lunamaria staring, speechless. "Yamato and Lacus Clyne, do you know where they are?"

"Hm...gonna have to be more specific. There are three Yamatos here."

He was definitely toying with them, but Lunamaria humoured him anyway. "Kira."

"Hm...I think they were out on the balcony, last I saw them."

"Can you tell us where that is?" she asked.

"Hm...I'm not too sure they want to be disturbed. I think the kid was finding the party a bit much."

"Okay, we'll find them la—"

"No," Shinn cut her off, "it's important."

He eyed them both for moment, then gave a lopsided grin, shrugging. "Sure. I'll show you."

Surprised, it took Lunamaria a second to catch up. Then she offered a swift, short bow, dragging Shinn down too with a hand to the back of his head. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, yet. You might still get chased off," he replied, turning away with a laugh.

The balcony, it turned out, was a fair ways from the party, requiring them to navigate a few long hallways. At one point, a little girl darted passed them, chased by a haggard looking woman, prompting a bark of laughter out of Andrew.

"Careful, Caridad, they'll get the better of you yet."

The harried woman simply offered a hand in wave as she raced down the hall.

"The kids wanted to come," Andrew told them by way of explanation. It really only brought up more questions, but neither she nor Shinn seemed inclined to ask, so they went unspoken.

Before long, they were stopping in front of a large pair of glass doors. Through the doors, two figures could be seen, standing side-by-side under the artificial lighting.

"Here's my stop. You kids play nice, now!"

With that, the jovial man turned and strode off, not even giving them a chance to thank him properly. With a shrug, Lunamaria gestured to the door.

It slid open on silent runners when Shinn gave it a tug, but even still, Kira turned to look right at them—or, a little to the left of them, actually. Faced with that eyeless gaze, Lunamaria found herself hesitating. Not so for Shinn. He stepped onto the planks with conviction.

"Who's there?"

"It is—"

"Shinn. Shinn Asuka. Lunamaria Hawke is with me," Shinn cut in, breaking in over Lacus. "I was hoping to talk to you...Kira."

There was dead silence for a moment, and then Kira turned away. "Later. I'm not in the mood."

His response surprised Lunamaria. She had been under the impression he was a gentle, kind, and generally selfless young man. His response was cold, however, almost detached. Not at all what she had been expecting.

Shinn seemed to be in the same boat for a moment, but only a moment. His fire returned quickly, and he took another step forward.

"Hey! I came to this stupid party because you invited me. Now I come up here to talk, and you tell me to go away? Forget it. I'm saying what I came to say, even if you're too weak to face me."

"Shinn!" She had not expected this. "Be nice. I thought...!"

"Leave." That single word sliced through their discussion, effectively cutting her off.

"Kira, perhaps they should be given a chance."

"They can have it later!" Kira's voice was raised, now, a strain in his tone evident.

The look Lacus sent them was one of...Lunamaria wanted to say fear, but somehow that did not seem quite right, nor did desperation. She seemed...stressed, however, like she did not want them to simply leave, but also like she wanted nothing more than for them to leave. "Would you kindly give us a moment?" was all Lacus said, however. Lunamaria nodded quickly, tugging a reluctant Shinn back inside.

Kira turned to face the door as it slid closed, and Lunamaria found it...strange. He was clearly trying to ensure they had gone, but how was he to know they had definitely left? Here they were, on the other side of a blatantly glass door...and he had no way to know that, short of asking Lacus. It made her shudder to think about it. She did not envy him.

They stood, silent and out of earshot, watching the discussion. Lacus knew they were there, but it was clear she did not mind their presence, because she never motioned for them to move further away, or even leave. It wasn't like there was much to see, anyway, the two were simply talking.

After several minutes, Lacus stepped away, walking to the door and pulling it open.

"Would it be possible for you to tell me what it is you wish to tell Kira?" she asked quietly. Looking at her, it was difficult not to see the look of sadness in those soft, blue eyes.

Looking to Shinn, Lunamaria nodded once, urging him to speak. This might be as good as they got.

It looked like he would object, but a sharp elbow to his ribs made him rethink that. Sputtering softly, Shinn sent her a glare as he rubbed the spot.

"Look, I didn't mean to start a fight," he finally said. "I just wanted to apologise for...all the shit I said to him. It wasn't fair."

Lacus smiled at that, the look touching her eyes this time. "I will tell him," she promised. "And thank you, Mister Asuka. I think it will do him good to hear that."

His words didn't really surprise her, but Lunamaria was still pleased by them. Reaching over, she caught his hand and squeezed. "Thank you, Miss Lacus. We appreciate it."

"You do not need to thank me," Lacus replied.

"So, why won't he talk to us? What's his problem tonight? This is your party."

"Tactful as ever, Shinn," Lunamaria sighed.

"Kira is simply finding the party stressful, and he wished to step away for a short while. We will be back shortly."

"If he's so stressed then you guys are doing a pretty crappy job of hosting a fun party."

"Your ability to apologise never ceases to amaze me, Shinn," Lunamaria sighed, rubbing her temples in an effort to relieve the headache that was suddenly threatening.

"It's true, though."

"Yes, Shinn. You've noticed he's blind. Congratulations," she snapped sarcastically. "You try having no idea where anyone is, or who anyone is, or what they're doing, then adding in a bunch of noise and see how long it takes you to want to get away, too."

Shinn said nothing for a long moment, then he shrugged. "Sorry, Luna. You're right. I...wasn't being fair."

"Don't apologise to me, apologise to Lacus."

"That is not necessary—!"

"She's right," Shinn interjected. "Lacus, I'm sorry I said those things. I was being unfair."

Lacus paused, seemingly surprised for a moment, and then she smiled warmly. "Thank you, Mister Asuka."

Thunk.

"Ow—dammit!"

They all turned to the door at the muffled sounds coming from the deck. Kira stumbled back, keeping his balance, albeit clumsily. He bent over, rubbing at his shin with one hand. His expression was twisted into a look of pain and frustration.

Lacus moved first, tugging the door open and hurrying to his side.

"We should go, Shinn," Lunamaria said, catching his arm and giving it a light tug. After only a moment of hesitation, he nodded, turning to follow her.