Well I'm sorry it's been so long! I've been trying to get some inspiration to write for a while and I've found passion in my other fics but I've been struggling with this one. Don't worry though, even if I do disappear for a while it won't be forever.

Anyway bit of a Clexa moment (Don't get too excited though)

Enjoy!

:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

The first casualty of war is innocence

Platoon

Octavia stepped away from the fire and looked around at the face of TonDC. She was looking for one familiar face in particular. Lincoln had left her there with the promise of returning to the nearest village and surely this was it.

She frowned and stepped through a small crowd scanning their faces and groaned internally when she once again came up short.

The village wasn't particularly big but still it seemed to be pull of people and the crowd growing around the commander was getting harder to navigate. Admitting defeat Octavia pulled away and stepped out of the throng of people only to be met with the grounder general glaring at her from across the path. Octavia gulped and wandered over but held her head high as she approached.

The woman narrowed her eyes at the sky girl, "What do you want?" She snarled out.

Octavia wasn't deterred by the hostility, "I'm looking for Lincoln"

The general snorted and moved to walk away but Octavia cornered her earning a glare, "Where is he?"

"Lincoln is not your concern"

"You don't seem concerned" She challenged.

"That boy has a habit of disappearing. He will reappear in a few days"

The grounder attempted to navigate around Octavia but once again the young Blake cut off her path, "Wait. Are you saying he didn't come back?"

"I am saying he has disappeared sky girl. Now move"

Octavia allowed her to pass and watched the woman walk away with a frown. She didn't seem bothered by Lincoln's disappearance but after a=everything she had seen since arriving on Earth Octavia was starting to suspect that all was not as it seemed.

She turned around to carry on searching the village but was cut off as Bellamy stepped into her line of sight, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Move Bell"

He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her earning an eye-roll, "I said; where are you going?"

"Looking for a friend"

"What friend?"

Octavia snorted and crossed her own arms to match her brother, "A friend"

Bellamy shook his head, "If you think I'm going to let you look-"

"You can't stop me Bell" She snapped.

His eyes widened but now he was smiling instead, "Actually I wasn't going to. If you let me finish what I was going to say was; If you think I'm going to let you look alone then you've got another thing coming. I'm coming with you"

XoXoXoX

Lexa stayed at Clarke's side until the last of the embers had burnt out and all that was left was the smoke rising from the ashes. The blonde was staring blankly into the remainder of the fire trying to ignore the pair of emerald eyes boring into the side of her head.

"I lost someone special to me too"

Clarke looked up and was surprised to see the sadness residing there. She waited patiently for the brunette to continue, "Her name was Costia. She was captured by the ice nation who's Queen believed she knew my secrets because she was mine. They tortured her, killed her, cut off her head..."

She swallowed down the bile that had risen to her mouth at the description. It wasn't the same situation, Lexa knew that, but the effect was the same Clarke was sure. Clarke sighed and shook her head.

"That's…"

Lexa gave a short nod, "I know"

"How did you-"

"Cope?"

Clarke nodded and Lexa looked back to the fire, "By recognising it for what it is… Weakness"

"What is? Love?" Lexa nodded and Clarke sighed, "I could never do that"

"Then you put the people you care about in danger" She snapped back.

Lexa turned to leave but Clarke grasped her arm and pulled her back ignoring the glares shot at her by the nearest group of grounders, "We kissed in that tunnel and I know you felt something and you saved my life more than once. Are you going to tell me that was weakness?"

The weight of her words seemed to weigh heavily with Lexa as she stared at Clarke with an unreadable expression.

Clarke shook her head but didn't let go of her arm, "I was dragged into that mountain against my will, watched people, your people, get dragged away and drained of their life. I didn't know if I was getting out of their or not but you were at the forefront of my mind and that hasn't changed since I arrived back. I know you were looking for me Lexa, I know you felt the same"

Lexa was watching her with a stoic expression but Clarke could see the mask slipping slightly and gave her a pleading look asking for something, anything, which would allow her some access to the girl's thoughts.

Still she said nothing and Clarke sighed pulling her arm away and shaking her head, "I don't think you believe that Lexa and even if you do I know you care about me"

"I do" Lexa whispered, "But I can't do this Clarke"

With that she turned around and walked back down the path through TonDC leaving Clarke standing there feeling dejected.

XoXoXoX

Clarke looked up to see Raven glaring at her and rolled her eyes before walking over.

"Raven?"

"Clarke" She bit out.

Her eyes widened and she tried to place a reassuring hand on Raven's shoulder but she shrugged her off, "What is it?"

"Nice to see you move on quickly. Finn hasn't even stopped smoking and you're moving on to the commander instead"

Clarke's eyes were wide in disbelief as she looked at her friend, "Raven it's not like that-"

"Really?" She snarled, "Because that's exactly what it looks like. You couldn't wait for Finn to be out of the picture could you?"

"Don't you dare" Clarke stepped closer to the grieving girl, "I never asked Finn to kill those people and it's not my fault that Lexa had to answer for their deaths. That was Finn's choice Raven, not mine, and I never ever returned his feelings. I cared about him but I didn't love him not like he loved me, like he loved you…"

Raven scoffed and rolled her eyes so Clarke continued, "Believe me, don't believe me, but me and Lexa had a connection from the moment she saved me at the bottom of that cliff. It's not what you think though Raven; we aren't together"

They were interrupted by the approach of Bellamy and Octavia. Clarke smiled at them upon approach but it was half hearted and disappeared completely the moment she noticed the stony expressions across their face.

"What's wrong?"

"Lincoln's not here" Octavia said grimly.

For a moment Clarke wondered who he was but then her mind went back to the second grounder, the one who helped Lexa, which saved them that night. She nodded in understanding and Bellamy spoke next.

"We're going to go look for him"

"You think he's been taken by the mountain?" She asked with a frown and he shrugged.

"It's a possibility but the longer we wait the longer it'll be to find him"

Clarke nodded, "You better go then"

Raven laughed and flung her arms up, "Of course send more of our friends to their death"

"I'm not" She argued, "But someone needs to find him and-"

"And it should be one of us"

They all spun around to see Lexa and Anya strolling towards them closely followed by the grounder called Indra and Lexa's guard.

Anya's gaze lingered on Clarke for a moment before switching to the Blake siblings, "Indra told me your fears and I will be joinging you on the hunt for Lincoln"

"I think we'll be fine" Bellamy said.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at him and raised a hand to stop Indra charging forward, "Think of it as a peace offering through the alliance but non the less Lincoln is a friend and Anya has requested to search for him anyway. You will need someone who can track and Anya can do that. I see no reason for you to deny her this right"

"We can handle it" Bellamy looked between Clarke, Raven, Octavia and himself.

The commander's eyebrows raised and she coughed slightly hiding what Clarke can only assume was a disbelieving laugh, "Clarke stays here"

"No" Bellamy snapped folding his arms.

Lexa stepped forward to approach him and Clarke winced, "Clarke is the leader of your side for the alliance. She speaks for the sky people therefor she stays"

He looked like he would argue again so Clarke stepped in, "I've already agreed Bellamy and Raven can hardly walk with the brace so you and Octavia should go alone with Anya to search for Lincoln"

Bellamy glared at Lexa but didn't argue with Clarke and she let out a slight breath that at least he was listening to her.

"Then it's settled" Lexa looked to Clarke briefly who nodded before turning to Anya, "You will go with Bellamy and Octavia to search for Lincoln but you will return before the attack on mount weather"

Anya nodded and turned her gaze to the siblings who gave her slight nods and then turned to lead the way out of TonDC.

They watched them go and Raven too walked away to stand beside Kane and Abby who were watching from a distance. Lexa turned to Clarke, "The war council begins at dusk. Your presence will be requested"

Clarke nodded and that seemed to satisfy Lexa who then moved to speak briefly with Indra.

XoXoXoX

It was almost dark by the time Abby finally cornered Clarke alone and it was as every bit as painful and awkward as Clarke had imagined it would be.

"Please Clarke"

She rolled her eyes as her mother pleaded with her again. She just didn't understand how the Earth worked and she certainly didn't understand how fragile this alliance with the grounders was.

"I can't"

Abby stepped forward and grasped Clarke by her shoulders, "Please just come back with us to camp Jaha. Kane can do the war talk, I need you in medical Clarke that's what you were raised to do"

"It may be what I was raised to do" Clarke shrugged the hands from her arms, "But down here it's not where I'm needed. Lexa will only talk with me, you know that, and this alliance needs some form of trust to exist between us"

"But why does it have to be you?"

"Because it's just how things have worked out. I tried for this alliance before you arrived, now I have to see the end of it"

Abby sighed and rubbed her temple, "Clarke you need time to grieve"

"Don't tell me what I need"

"But you do" She argued, "You need to be able to grieve after Finn"

Clarke sighed, "I'm fine. I don't need time to grieve what I need is to find a way of getting my friends out of mount weather; that's my priority"

"Clarke-"

"No"

"But Clarke-"

"No" She snapped, "I won't hear it anymore. This is how things are anymore and if you don't like it tough because this is how things are happening"

Abby looked as though she would argue more but Lexa didn't give her a chance because suddenly she was calling for Clarke to join her in the war room. The blonde didn't wait to hear her mother's argument against this and instead walked away from the elder Griffin and over to the commander who was waiting patiently for her.

All Abby could do was watch her go and the door close behind her.

Let me know watcha think :)