Total Mayhem: Chapter Eight – March of the Fangirls
By Ptath and Lady Raina
Beta-ed by Silver Rayne
A special thank you to our amazing, wonderful, happy, energetic, inspiring, beloved, dear dear muse Thalia. We could not do this without you. glomps Thalia
Disclaimer: We do not own Weiss. Even if we could, simple self-preservation would dictate we stay far, far away.
'This' mean thinking to one's self ('time to introduce myself')
'This' means talking telepathically ('hello, my name is George,')
"This" means talking out loud ("I like cats.")
6:00 am
Ken toweled his hair dry as he walked towards the stairs. Joy of joys, he got to open the Koneko, alone. Yohji had claimed the afternoon shift with Aya-chan, Aya and Schuldig were still working on managing Aya's new-found telepathy and Omi, Nagi and Sakura were going to be in school all day. He wasn't even going to try and get Crawford to help. He'd probably shoot him or something.
A blood-curdling scream suddenly rent the air. Ken spun at the top of the stairs, his damp towel falling to the floor behind him. 'Aya,' he frantically thought as he dove for the Weiss leader's door, 'that was Aya!' He'd never heard Aya scream like that. He couldn't begin to imagine what Schuldig had done to produce such an outcry.
Flinging the door open, Ken glanced around the empty bedroom frantically. Seeing only an empty room, he moved on towards the bathroom.
6:05 am
Nagi hadn't thought that living with Weiss could be so similar to living with Schwarz…or rather, Schuldig. For one thing, he'd never expected to find Ken sitting at the table holding an icepack to a swollen head the way Schuldig often did.
"Do I want to know?" he asked the soccer player politely.
"More of the same," Ken replied. His head hit the table with a soft ow. "I'm just not going to go into anybody's room ever again. Bad things happen when I do."
"I…see…" Nagi studied Ken for a moment. "How did you manage to get three lumps on your head?"
"One's from last night…Aya threw a book at me. This one's from a shampoo bottle and the other from tripping on my towel when I finally came downstairs."
Nagi took a moment to reflect on that statement. Schuldig got beat up when he went out clubbing and hit on the wrong person while drunk. Ken got beat up when he was trying to help someone. That someone was usually the person that beat him up. It really wasn't very fair, was it?
Nagi cocked his head slightly when he heard someone start stumbling down the stairs…no, make that crashing down the stairs.
"Who the bloody hell left this towel here?"
Ah, Kudoh was up. Odd, he'd sworn that he didn't get up before eleven.
"Hey, Yohji," Ken said, his head still on the table.
Yohji stumbled into the room. Seeing the icepack resting next to Ken, he picked it up and stuck it on his own head. "Between Aya screaming and that bloody towel, I almost feel hung over," he muttered. Turning, he wove a path towards the kitchen and the coffee.
Nagi sat down at the table and pulled out his laptop. The day had hardly started and he already had plenty to record in his journal.
Suddenly, singing could be heard from the top of the stairs. Ken raised his head, his eyes wide. "Is that Farfarello singing a song from Oklahoma?"
"Yes," Nagi replied absently, "he sings every morning, practically. I'm surprised you didn't hear him yesterday. He was singing Barney's Greatest Hits."
A thump indicated that the Irish man had fallen prey to the towel that still lay limply on the stairs. There was a moment of silence before he burst out laughing. Bounding into the room, Farfarello gave Nagi a huge grin before planting himself in the chair next to Ken. "Crawford's giving Schu-schu hell. Something about not using cameras in the bathroom."
Ken groaned and his head hit the table again.
Omi's voice drifted downstairs. "Ken, what was all that screaminNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG…"
A series of small thumps ending with one particularly loud thump heralded Omi's arrival. "…about…" he finished weakly.
Yohji emerged from the kitchen with a tray of coffee cups. "We should really think about moving that towel."
After several moments of silence, Farfarello gave everyone a sadistic grin. "Let's leave it for Braddikins."
The others stared at him in horror and sprang to their feet. A sudden crashing noise and wild cursing indicated that they were too late. They all sat back down.
"Who ever left this towel on the stairs is going to die."
Ken slid under the table. Omi let out a weak groan as Crawford's knee left his stomach.
Crawford staggered into the room, glaring malevolently at the assembled team. Nagi glanced up from his computer, still typing. 'He didn't see this coming…that's been happening a lot lately,' he thought.
A sudden blast of rage, anger and bloodlust suddenly washed over Weiss and Schwarz. Hysterical laughter exploded from upstairs. Schuldig came bounding down taking two steps at a time and waving a small Polaroid in the air. Hard on his heels was Aya, red faced and roaring with anger.
"Anybody wanna see a nekkid picture of Ayan?" he called.
The blast of wild emotions intensified into a nuclear strike.
Schuldig jumped the last few steps, landing next to Omi's limp form that still lay sprawled on the ground.
Aya's foot landed directly on the damp towel that had worked its way from the third floor to the second floor. Tumbling head over heels, he landed on top of Omi, hearing a weak oof underneath him. He lay still for a moment, stunned before suddenly lunging at Schuldig. The German hit the floor with Aya's hands around his neck. The Polaroid fluttered to the ground forgotten.
Omi let out a faint, pained whimper.
"Is everything alright down there?" Aya-chan cried as she ran down the stairs. "I've been hearing screaming, cursing and getting the worst vibes!" She stopped dead when she saw her brother kneeling on Schuldig's chest, hands wrapped around his throat. She blinked in shock, then suddenly noticed the Polaroid abandoned on the floor. She bent over and picked it up. Her face went bright red before hardening in determination.
She folded the picture and helped the battered Omi to his feet. When they reached the dining room, she helped Omi to a chair and handed the folded picture to Crawford. She picked up a coffee cup and took a sip before turning around.
"Nii-san, he's unconscious, you can let him go now."
6:15 am
4:05 pm
The Koneko had quieted considerably over the past few hours. Upon awakening an hour after breakfast, Schuldig had received a harsh tongue-lashing from both Crawford and Aya-chan. Aya himself had refused to accept his apology despite the gift of new copies of his favorite books, several pounds of chocolate and a genuine promise to never enter the bathroom while Aya was inside.
"What a day," Nagi groaned as he, Sakura and Omi stumbled into the Koneko. Omi and Nagi had high-tailed it out of the Koneko as fast as humanly possible. This, naturally, had proved to be a mistake. The Koneko Fangirls had mobbed the two assassins when they reached school. And now that school was out, it was only a matter of minutes before the after-school invasion arrived.
4:07 pm
Aya buried his head under the pillow. The fangirls had arrived at the Koneko in force – each hoping to see one of the florists that had originally opened the shop. Of the four members of Weiss, Omi was the only one in the shop. Ken had left after his shift to get ready for his kiddie soccer team and Yohji after his to go bar hopping.
Aya could feel his temples throbbing, signaling an impending migraine.
5:10 pm
Schuldig looked at the slender leader of Weiss. He'd returned from an unsuccessful trip to mall where he'd attempted to find something, anything, to try and convince Aya to forgive him ten minutes ago. He'd discovered Aya curled up on his bed in a tight ball, his mental shields still not strong enough to block the hormonal outpouring from the Koneko Fangirls below. Luckily for Aya, all it had taken was one silent command from the German to disperse the teenage girls. Now, ten minutes later, the younger assassin was beginning to recover from the mental assault.
"They won't be coming back anytime soon unless they're actually buying something."
"…"
"And if they do come back, they'll feel compelled to be quiet and respectful."
"…Thank you."
"So you forgive me?"
"I suppose…"
Schuldig grinned widely.
"You're still not allowed in the bathroom when I'm in there."
"Damn."
Edited July 3, 2006:
Dialogue throughout edited to match standards of later chapters as well as plot lines developed at a later date. For a further explanation, see our Live Journal.
We hoped you enjoyed this chapter as much as we enjoyed writing it! Huge thanks to our new muse Thalia, named for the Greek Muse of Comedy. Thalia, without you, this story wouldn't have come together as well as it has.
We'd also like to thank all our reviewers for their encouraging words! So thank you Anendee Lauren Ryan, rebelyell59, gonyos and everyone else who read and enjoyed our story.
As we said before, Ptath and Lady Raina are back at college and back on a schedule, so updates should come about once a week. It takes about five hours to knock out a chapter and we usually start working on it during Stargate: SG1, so updates will appear sometime Friday, Saturday or Sunday. If we don't get a chapter out, then we promise there's a reason for it.
Up next: Chapter 9 – The Great Outdoors!
Please review so we can know what you like, didn't like or were confused by! Thanks so much for reading!
-Ptath and Lady Raina
