Thank you for all the replies last time. Keep it up.

=d=dd==d=d

Javier approached his desk and raised an eyebrow at his partner. Kevin was leaning back in his chair staring at nothing, but the expression on his face was stormy.

"You alright, Bro?" Javi asked.

"Not really," Kevin admitted.

"Shoot," Javier replied.

"Castle mentioned that Chris's father didn't stick around and hasn't been seen in a long time. It got me thinking. Lex has his grandkids, and it's no secret Castle has money."

"You afraid someone is going to come out of the woodwork seeking a handout?"

"I did a search," Kevin admitted. "The guy is doing life in San Quentin, no parole."

"Problem solved," Javi responded, "Then what's with the storm clouds circling overhead?"

"Guy who delivered Hunter," Kevin said. "His old man is an ex-con. Cassius Pride. Hunter mentioned an Uncle Cass a couple of times during Christmas dinner."

"And you don't like the fact that Alexis had an ex-con hanging around your son," Javier surmised.

"Is that wrong?" Kevin asked.

"No," Javier shook his head. "But Hunter's not hanging around this guy anymore."

"Yeah, but until about a month ago Lex wasn't coming back," Kevin nodded, "What if she decides to go back to New Orleans?"

"Then you will calmly explain to her why you don't want your son around an ex-con," Javier told him. "Does Castle know about this? I can't see him too happy about his grandkids being around a man who did time."

"So I do what? Tattle to Alexis's father?"

"Not unless you're ready to explain why you think you get a vote in Hunter hangs out with."

"That's not going to happen," Kevin frowned.

"At some point you two are going to come clean, right?"

"Still thinking about that," Kevin replied, "Alexis barely acknowledges my existence."

"That's not entirely true," Javi challenged him.

"No, you're right. She does acknowledge me, just barely. I'm like a fungus that she can't get rid of," Kevin frowned, "I don't come across as desperate, do I?"

"Go to the morgue," Javi chose not to respond to Kevin's question.

"What?" Kevin stared.

"Go to the morgue and talk to her."

"Pretty sure she finds the dead guys more interesting to talk to than me," Kevin replied.

"Well, then go prove her wrong," Javier steered him towards the elevator.

"This isn't going to end well."

"You won't know until you give it a try," Javier replied.

"I really don't like you right now," Kevin grumbled.

"Yeah, I know," Javier pushed his friend into the elevator and pushed the button. "Have fun."

Kevin mashed the button of the elevator while cursing his best friend out under his breath. It was only after the door was closed that he realized Javi hadn't answered his desperation question. His ego took a few hits as the elevator went down.

-d-d-d-

Alexis was sitting at her desk when Kevin walked in with two cups of coffee.

"Thanks," Alexis took the cup from him, "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," Kevin shook his head and leaned back against the desk next to her. "It's just been a while since we had coffee."

"If you're here to talk about Hunter..." she began.

"Not exactly," Kevin shook his head. "We haven't really talked since New Year's. I want to change that."

"And you're picking now to have this heart to heart?" Alexis asked, "I have an autopsy waiting."

"Can you talk and work at the same time?" he inquired.

"Sure," Alexis nodded as she got up. She stepped around him and went to her table.

"So what's this guy's story?" Kevin pointed towards the dead guy after following her while sipping at his cup casually.

"Nothing special," Alexis commented. "Just stupid. Got drunk and got behind the wheel."

"Hope he didn't hurt anyone else in the process," he replied.

"Just the garbage bin that he ran his car into," Alexis replied, "Killed by the impact, most likely."

"Guys like that piss me off," Kevin commented. "Like I don't have enough worries about Sarah Grace. I have to worry about guys like that being on the road."

"Tell me about it. You should have seen the amount of drunk drivers the Jefferson Parish Sherriff used to pull over during Mardi Gras."

"Probably about as many as the police stop around here on New Year's Eve after the celebration in Time Square wraps up," Kevin replied.

"How was your New Year's Day?" Alexis asked.

"It was alright," he shrugged, "Sarah Grace and I played board games for most of the day. How about you?"

"It was pretty easy. No bodies, so I filled out paperwork."

"Guess the dead people of New York wanted to ease you into your first day," he replied.

"Right," Alexis nodded.

"I have a couple of questions for you," Kevin stated after clearing his throat.

"Sure," Alexis nodded.

"That guy King that you worked with in New Orleans. What do you know about him?"

Alexis put down her scalpel and turned to him, "How'd you find out?"

"Find out what?" Kevin was taken aback by her tone, "I'm just curious about your previous life."

"No," Alexis shook her head. "Kev, I know cop mode when I see it. I've been around them nearly all of my adult life. I was married to one, and I've got one for a stepmother. You're screaming it right now."

"I'm asking a legitimate question as a friend," Kevin responded, "Why are you jumping all over me about it?"

"I'm not," Alexis shook her head. "But when you do a search on a federal agent, a little alarm goes off at their headquarters."

"What are you talking about?" Kevin responded defensively.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Alexis asked, "Meredith called me twenty minutes ago. She said someone was running searches on the NCIS office in New Orleans, and the searches originated with the NYPD. Who do I know that works for the NYPD that would want to search out the field office at NCIS in New Orleans? Only one person comes to mind…you."

"You knew what I was doing here the minute I walked through the doors, didn't you?"

"I had a clue," Alexis said. "You could've just asked. I would've told you what you wanted to know."

"You would have told me that Cade and Maggie's grandfather was doing life in prison?" Kevin challenged her, "And that my son spent time with a known felon?"

"Cassius is not a bad man. He made his mistakes, yes, but he also paid for them," Alexis said. "I didn't know about Chris's dad until a few years ago."

"Any other criminals that interacted with my son that I should know about?" he challenged her.

"You're overreacting," Alexis said.

"Am I?" Kevin scoffed, "Would you have mentioned any of this to me if I hadn't known to ask? It's like you're keeping secrets from me."

"That's not fair," she hissed, "I know I've made gigantic mistakes with you, but that doesn't give you license to come at me with the unprovoked attacks."

"You had him making friends with a criminal," Kevin shot back at her.

"Would you feel better if you knew that he was never alone with him?"

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?" Kevin replied.

"You know what, until you can have a civil conversation with me, maybe we shouldn't speak," she responded calmly, "You know your way out, right?"

"Alexis," Kevin protested.

"Have a nice day, Detective. Come back when you calm down."

Kevin knew it was best not to push her so he left as she'd requested.

"Jackass," Alexis hissed, "Judgmental, overprotective jackass."

-d-d-d-d-d

As Lanie passed by she handed Kevin an object wrapped in foil.

"What's this?" Kevin looked to Lanie in confusion.

"I don't know," the M.E. said. "Alexis gave this to me as she was leaving this morning. She just said to give it to you if I saw you."

"Thanks," he brought it to the car to examine later. He knew he'd become distracted if he gave into temptation now.

"Aren't you curious?" Javi asked Kevin when he returned to the scene and focused on their investigation.

"Yes, but I want to be able to pay attention to this. I'll be distracted if I look at it now."

"It wasn't ticking, was it?"

"Why do you always assume that packages that I receive are ticking?"

"You're very good at pissing off very smart women."

"So are you," Kevin reminded him.

"Will you please open it?" Javi asked him after several minutes of work at the crime scene.

"Oh fine," Kevin rolled his eyes and grabbed the package from the car and unwrapped it. It was a muffin. Kevin took it and found a piece of paper under it.

K-
This is our tradition. It's also my way of saying sorry for making you worry about Hunter's safety. I'm still getting used to you being around again. They're Hunter's favorite, and I hope you'll enjoy them too.
-A

Kevin smiled upon realizing the kind of muffin she'd made. It was chocolate chip with zucchini, his favorite too.

"So?" Javier asked.

"Breakfast," Kevin smiled.

"Is there only one?"

"Sorry," Kevin apologized. "Consider it payback for the time I was on a cleanse and you kept eating donuts in front of me."

"That's just wrong," Javi glared as Kevin took a bite.

"You wouldn't like it anyways."

"Why? It's not one of those chocolate chip zucchini things, is it? I told you man, that's just a horrible combination."

"You just don't know what tastes good," Kevin laughed and rolled his eyes as Castle came over.

"Morning guys," he said. "I heard my daughter is giving you baked goods."

"Uh, yeah," Kevin responded nervously, "It's good. I didn't know she knew how to bake."

"She learned how when she and Chris got married. They had such unpredictable schedules that they knew breakfast together was never a certainty, so they created their own version of breakfast on the go. Every week they'd take turns picking a type of muffin. When they were both home, they'd bake a bunch for themselves and the kids to take."

"Wonder why she thought to send me one," Kevin decided to play dumb as he didn't want to put any ideas into Castle's head.

"Kate mentioned your problems at home and that she caught you sleeping on the break room couch three times last week. Alexis probably wanted to make sure you ate real food."

"Yeah, that must be it," Kevin nodded, "Tell her I said thanks when you see her next."

"Tell her yourself when you're in the morgue next time," Castle smiled. "I don't know what happened between you and Alexis, but you could both use a friend right now."

"Uh, yeah," Kevin stammered out, "I'll have to keep that in mind."

"Castle," Kate called. "Ian's school's on the phone. He forgot his science homework."

"Damn," Castle winced, "That was my task this morning. I'd better go take care of that. Keep what I said in mind, Ryan. You both could use a friend right now."

"If only he knew," Javi laughed once Castle was out of range.

"I miss her, Javi," Kevin admitted.

"Then go get her," Javi encouraged him, "What are you waiting for?"

"How about allowing her a chance to grieve?" Kevin offered, "Her husband did just die, and I'm still married."

"Technically," Javi responded, "But you've filed the papers a couple of days ago, right?"

"Knowing Jenny, she is gonna give me the fight of my life. We're talking the Jimmy Doyle-Sugar Ray Robinson fight."

"That's not a good comparison," Javier shook his head. "Doyle died after that fight."

"It's still valid," Kevin responded. "I don't want to put Alexis in the middle of all that."

"Isn't that for her to decide?"

"I know her," Kevin shook his head. "I know that underneath all the defensiveness and appearance of being okay, she is barely hanging on. I saw it the night Martha died, and I see it every time she lets her guard down for just a second."

"Then shouldn't you try to be there to help her through it?" Javi asked, "You know be what you couldn't be last time."

"You wanna know something really personal?"

"Go for it," Javier nodded.

"The night Martha died was the last time I really kissed her."

"That night must haunt you, Bro," Javier replied.

"I couldn't stay with her," Kevin frowned remembering. "She wouldn't go home, and I had to. I wanted to stay so damn bad."

"Do you think things might have turned out differently if you stayed with her that night?" Espo asked.

"I don't know," Kevin shook his head. "I do wonder if Jenny would've finally realized something was going on if I hadn't come home that night. None of us were at the station."

"Do you really think she didn't know back then?" Javi asked.

"If she didn't, she's done a remarkable job at playing dumb," Kevin commented. "She knows now."

"It's a tough spot that you're all in," Javi patted Kevin's back.

"And it could've been avoided if I'd just gone after Alexis when she first left New York."

"You're still kicking yourself about that, aren't you?"

"Every single day," Kevin admitted. "If you were in my position, what would you do?"

"Buddy up to her until you're both ready for more," Javi responded, "What's the harm in being friends?"

"How many of your friends have you seen naked?"

"Just you and Lanie," Javi snorted, "But only Lanie was worth a second look."

"Funny," Kevin leaned against the car. "Alexis and I tried the friend thing before. You know what that led to."

"Obviously the friend thing won't last forever, but when you're both in a better place you can take it to the next level," Javier advised his friend, "But what's the harm in spending time together until then? It's been eight years. You've both changed since then. You're going to want to figure her out a second time."

"Yeah, the only problem there is that every time I see her, I am torn between kissing her or strangling her," Kevin said. "I realize we've both changed. She's been married and has three kids. Now she's a widow who watched the building her husband was in blow sky high."

"At least give it a try," Javi responded, "What can it hurt?"

"Since when did you become some sort of love guru?" Kevin scowled at him, "You can't even tie yourself down to Lanie."

"Oh I let Lanie tie me down a few times a month," Javier smiled.

"Bad, bad images in my head," Kevin groaned.

"Look, why don't you start by thanking her for the muffin and apologizing for being a judgmental jackass?"

"I should at least thank her for the muffin," Kevin conceded.

"Yes, you should," Javier smiled.

Kevin and Javi finished their investigation at the crime scene and returned to the precinct to start their search for their killer. They all got caught up in the case that it was a few days before Kevin even remembered her gesture, and that was when she stepped into the coffee shop while he was reading his paper. He'd just finished an article and turned the page of his newspaper while he looked around the coffee shop he was sitting in and spotted a familiar head of hair at the counter.

He felt his heart speed up at the mere sight of Alexis even though they hadn't spoken directly since their argument and her peace offered muffin.

He'd been feeling pretty good since his discussion with Jenny about the divorce, aside from the conversation he'd had with his daughter explaining that he was moving out and divorcing her mother. She'd taken the news relatively well. In fact his ten-year-old had taken it better than her mother had.

Kevin felt relatively confident that their spat was over, so he approached the red head. "Hey, Alexis, fancy meeting you here."

He caught her in the middle of unclipping her hair. It had just begun to tumble around her shoulders when she turned to face him, "Hi."

He was momentarily stunned into silence as he recalled times when her hair had fallen around them, creating a curtain and giving them privacy as they kissed. He shook himself out of it and smiled, "Haven't seen you since…never mind. How has autopsy been treating you?"

"Not bad. You guys keeping busy?"

"It's never dull in Homicide," Kevin replied, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Here you go," one of the people behind the counter handed Alexis a paper cup.

"Thanks anyway," Alexis nodded.

"How about a muffin then?" he offered, "Maybe a chocolate chip zucchini muffin?"

"Uh, no. Thank you," Alexis looked down at the counter. She obviously hadn't put together his reference of the muffin she'd sent him. Her mind was elsewhere.

"Everything alright?" he noticed the slight slump in her posture.

"Bad day," she replied as she suddenly spilled coffee on her shoes, "And it just keeps piling on."

"Here," Kevin grabbed some napkins and bent down at the same time Alexis did. They bumped heads.

"Ow," Alexis groaned.

"Sorry," he touched her head lightly.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Hard head like my dad," Alexis managed to get the coffee sopped up off her shoes before it could soak through and leave a stain.

"I have a table, if you want to join me," he motioned towards where his coffee and paper awaited him.

"I should get back," Alexis said.

Realizing she was brushing him off, he gave a solemn nod and retreated without another word. He thought that they would have moved beyond their spat from a few weeks earlier, but apparently he was wrong.

Alexis got two steps towards the door before she turned around and walked over to his table, "I'm being a bitch, and I'm sorry."

"You want to talk about it?" Kevin nodded to the empty chair.

Alexis sat down, "It's just the date. It's getting to me."

"You're going on a date?" he gulped nervously.

"No. Today's date. It's the tenth."

"Okay," he responded slowly, not understanding what the point was she was trying to make.

"February tenth," Alexis prodded.

"Friday, February tenth," Kevin nodded as he checked his watch.

Alexis laughed, "It's nice to know that there are times when you can be a typical guy."

"I don't follow," he frowned.

"What's ten plus four?"

"Fourteen," he responded, "Is this some sort of math quiz that I didn't study for?"

"God, you are so clueless," she rolled her eyes, "February fourteenth, otherwise known as Valentine's Day."

"Oh," Kevin nodded. "Right. I am an idiot."

"Hunter and Cade just told me this morning that we need to get Valentine's Day cards for their classes to exchange next week, and it just hit me that I'll be without a Valentine this year...Chris always made a big deal out of Valentine's Day."

Kevin nodded again, "First one's going to be the hardest. Did you guys make plans in advance?"

"Chris made plans. It was simply understood that I would need to be available that day," she explained.

"Liked to surprise you," Kevin surmised. "Sounds like a good guy."

"Great guy," Alexis nodded, "It's slowly starting to sink in that he's gone."

"Yeah, it always takes a while for the news to sink in when something happens that you aren't prepared for," Kevin nodded.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not in a good head space right now," she replied, "About that fight a few weeks ago…."

"Water under the bridge," he assured her.

"Thanks," she smiled weakly.

"I get it, Lex. Believe me," Kevin let her off the hook.

"I should go," Alexis gathered her belongings, "I'll see you around."

"Wait," Kevin laid a hand on her arm. "Stay and talk. It'll help."

"I don't want to lay all my problems in your lap," she replied, "That's not fair to you."

"It wasn't fair to you either a lot of the time," Kevin reminded her. "But you were always willing to listen to me."

"It's a bit more complicated now," she frowned, "I appreciate the offer, but maybe another time."

"You still owe me a dinner," he reminded her.

"Yeah, I do," she nodded, "Rain check?"

"I think you're out of rain checks, Doctor," he replied, "How about we nail down an actual date? I'm off this Tuesday. Does that work for you?"

"I think that's a little too close to a date for my comfort," Alexis said.

"Why, what's happening Tuesday?" he asked.

"Such a guy," she gave an amused laugh, "Tuesday, February fourteenth, otherwise known as Valentine's Day."

"Oh, right," he frowned. He'd already forgotten.

"You don't having plans already?"

"I doubt spending Valentine's Day with my soon to be ex-wife is a good idea."

"Soon to be?" she gave him a startled look.

"I told Jenny I was filing. I started the proceedings."

"Oh," she was taken aback, "I had no idea."

"Lex? I told you I was doing this at Christmas."

"You told me you had planned for it," she replied, "In my defense, you said that often when we were together eight years ago. I didn't know this was nearly a done deal. You didn't mention anything about it to me a few weeks ago."

"I deserve that," Kevin conceded. "A few weeks ago when we had spoke I hadn't talked to Jenny yet. I didn't want anything out there until I had a chance to talk to her and Sarah Grace. I owed them that much. As far as 'done deals' go, those aren't the words I'd use. It's more like trying to run in quicksand."

"Jenny's giving you a fight," Alexis surmised.

"To put it mildly," Kevin told her.

"I'm not surprised," she stared at her coffee cup.

"You want another one?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Have dinner with me," Kevin reached for her hand, "How about a week from Tuesday? It can be sort of an anti-Valentine's Day dinner."

"That actually sounds like fun. You know what February 21st is right?"

"No, what?"

"Fat Tuesday," Alexis smiled. "We'll have Hurricanes. Don't forget your beads."

"I'll see if I can find some," he gave a wide smile.

"Have a nice night, Kevin," Alexis smiled as she stood up. She bent down to kiss his cheek before leaving the coffee shop.

Kevin made a mental note to pick up a Valentine's trinket for his daughter. Perhaps she could be his Valentine this year.

He also needed to find some beads as Alexis suggested.

-d-d-

"Hey, Ryan," a uniform walked over to him. "This was left at the desk for you."

"Thanks," Kevin nodded as he took the box and began opening it.

"Open it slowly, Partner," Javier looked nervously at the box, "If it's from Jenny it could be ticking."

"Don't be ridiculous," Kate smacked his shoulder when she approached.

Kevin laughed as he pulled out a string of purple beads.

"What the-" Javier stared. "You going to some weird party?"

"It's a Mardi Gras thing, Espo," Kate replied, "You'd know if you've ever been."

Kevin smiled as he turned the box over and found a note.

K-
Purple's for justice. Seemed appropriate. First Hurricane's on me tonight.
-A

"Secret admirer, Ryan?" Javier looked to his partner curiously. Kevin hadn't filled him in on his evening's plans.

"Just some plans for tonight," Kevin smiled as he put the note in his pocket and the beads in his drawer for later. "What's up, Beckett?"

"Caught a case," she replied, "Let's go."

"You're really not gonna tell me who the beads were from?" Javier followed Kevin and Beckett.

"No, I'm really not," Kevin smiled.

"Since when do we have secrets?" Espo asked.

"Since I know you can't keep one," Kevin told him.

"Since when have I not been able to keep secrets?" Javi challenged him.

"Beckett, how many people knew you were pregnant with Jo before Castle did?"

"Everyone," Kate glared at the detective, "I had to tell Castle while we were at a crime scene before he found out from the uniform that was daring to approach to offer his congratulations."

"That was an accident," Javier said.

"Javi, the cleaning crew knew about Jo before Castle."

"Fine, don't tell me," Javi huffed, "I'm a detective. I'll figure it out for myself."

Kevin laughed as leaned against the back of the elevator. Beckett shot her friend a knowing look before turning to Javier, "Good luck with that. You still don't know why Lanie turned you down for Valentine's Day."

"I'll figure that out too," he responded confidently.

"No, you won't," Kevin and Kate said in unison before exchanging a look.

"Whatever, Man," Javier glared at his partner.

-d-d-d-

"C'mon, just give me a hint," Javier whined.

"No," Kate shook her head.

"I know you know," Javier said.

"Yeah, I do," Kate gave a confident smile, "But it's none of your business or mine for that matter."

"It's not Jenny, is it?" Javi responded with dread, "Are they getting back together?"

"Would you get back together with a woman who sent you dead flowers on Valentine's Day? Wait, don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"That was pretty low of Jenny," Javier frowned, "I get her not being happy with the divorce, but that was just..."

"Creepy," Kate finished for him.

"I was going to go with psychotic," Javier amended.

"That too," Kate agreed.

"Anyway, back to Kevin's date," Javier said.

"Okay, Javi, I admit it. I am attracted to you," Kate smiled.

"What? Whoa, Beckett," Javier backed away.

"But for both our sakes, we can never act on it."

"Beck- Hi, Castle," Javier said when he heard repressed laughter from behind.

"And why are you hitting on my wife?" Castle felt the need to prolong the detective's discomfort.

"I'm not," Javier protested. "She knows something about Kevin's date for tonight, and she won't tell me."

"Why are you worried about Kevin's love life? Shouldn't you be trying to fix your own?"

"Fix my own?" Javier repeated, "My love life is just fine, thank you very much."

"Not according to Lanie," Castle casually perused a magazine.

Kate snorted before holding up a file folder to cover her laughter.

Castle looked at his wife, "Can I buy you lunch, Detective?"

"Absolutely," she smiled.

"Hey, wait," Javier protested. "Beckett, I know you know."

"Know what?" Kate said with an innocent smile.

"Oh, come on," Javier threw up his hands.

"See you in an hour, Javi," Kate waved as the doors closed.

Javier looked around for Kevin and saw him in the break room on the phone. Just as he walked towards it, Gates came out of her office.

"Esposito, I need you to go down to 1PP to pick up some files."

"What?" Javier turned towards his captain abruptly, "Can't you get a uniform to do it?"

"No. These files are important, and I don't want a random uniform doing it. I want you to do it."

Javier released a dejected sigh and moped towards the elevator like a child just scolded for having his hand in the cookie jar.

-d-d-d-

"With any luck, I can be out of here by five. Does that work for you?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, I'll meet you out front of the morgue."

"I'll be there," he vowed.

"Lanie says that you've been torturing Javi by keeping from him that we're going out tonight," Alexis snorted, "And why can't he know?"

"Because then Castle might find out," Kevin replied, "And we don't want that, do we?"

"No, good point," Alexis agreed.

"Kate said she knows, but she's just messing with Javi," Kevin admitted, "And it's driving him insane."

"Speaking of messing with Javi, he still doesn't realize that the reason Lanie turned him down is because he forgot he made plans with her to go out on Valentine's Day and then asked her again, does he?"

"Not a clue," Kevin chuckled.

"Poor Javi," Alexis laughed.

"He deserves it," Kevin replied.

"Show some sympathy," Alexis chided. "He is your partner."

"Today he's not my partner. Today he's a giant pain in the ass."

"Did you get the package I sent you?" she asked.

"What do you think set Javi off?" Kevin smiled.

"Ah," it suddenly clicked for Alexis, "I hadn't thought about that. Sorry."

"I'm actually kind of enjoying it," Kevin admitted.

"Glad they're of some amusement," she replied.

"Are you expecting me to wear them tonight?"

"No," Alexis smiled. "I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"Just having dinner with me tonight is sufficient."

"So, where are we going?"

"Carmine's okay with you?"

"I do like a good Italian meal," Alexis smiled.

"I'd better go," he glanced towards the window of the break room. Gates was giving him a stern look, and he didn't want a lecture about conducting personal business during work hours.

"Yeah, me too," Alexis heard the door open. Lanie was back.

"See you tonight," he replied.

"Looking forward to it," she smiled.

"Bye," Kevin smiled.

"Bye."

Kevin disconnected and then looked up to see Gates again. He suddenly realized he needed something from his boss.

Walking across the bullpen he knocked on her door, "Sir? Can I have minute?"

"Sure, Ryan, what can I do for you?" she looked up from the file she'd just started reading.

"I need a change of marital status form. Do you have any, or should I call personnel?"

Gates looked startled by the question. "Is everything alright, Detective?"

"I'm getting a divorce," Kevin admitted. "I guess I need a change of address and change of beneficiary form, too."

"I can get my hands on the forms for you," Gates replied, "And if you need someone to talk to…"

"I know Psych is available," Kevin responded, "But I'm fine."

"Yes, you are," Gates realized. "I'll get those forms to you by the end of the day."

"Thank you," Kevin nodded before he left the office.

-d-d-d-d-

Alexis studied the menu in front of her for a moment before she realized she was being stared at. She looked up and met Kevin's eyes for a split second before he looked back at his menu. She fought a smile as she returned her attention to her menu.

A second glance revealed that he was looked at her again.

"Stop that," she scolded him.

"Sorry," he apologized not even trying to deny the staring.

"Do I have something in my hair?"

"No, you look beautiful," he assured her, "You always do."

"Okay, then why the staring? You've seen me before, right?"

"It was a long time without," he told her. "When I allowed myself to miss you, I would find myself picking out certain details that I remembered of you, and then pick it apart until I remembered every little detail."

Alexis closed her menu and leaned on the table, "The image I kept in my head of you was the Fourth of July party. You were laughing hysterically, and Sarah Grace dumping small handfuls of sand on you."

"I still have those pictures we took," he admitted while pulling out his phone to show them to her and then more current photos of his daughter.

Alexis smiled, "God, she was so tiny."

"Yeah, some days it's hard to believe the little girl in that picture is the same one I'm raising now," he smiled proudly.

"Should I ask what image of me you kept in your head?" Alexis said, handing the phone back.

"Just the important ones," he gave her a knowing wink.

Alexis bit her lip, "I have to ask you. New Year's Eve when you were playing pool with my dad, did you-were you thinking about-"

"When I taught you to play pool?" Kevin finished.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Couldn't stop," he added, "Almost blew my concentration."

"Oh thank God, it wasn't just me."

"Never for a minute," he stated. He was about to reach for her hand when the server arrived to take their order.

Considering Carmine's was family style, they skipped an appetizer and just decided to share their entrees. Kevin got chicken, and Alexis ordered eggplant.

"How bad did it get with Jenny?" Alexis asked quietly.

"It wasn't all bad," he sighed, "After you left I was in a daze for awhile. Around Sarah Grace, I was fine, but in everything else, I was on autopilot."

"Surely Jenny must have noticed something wasn't right," Alexis replied.

"If she did, she didn't acknowledge it. She's always been a good actress."

"Not as good as you think," Alexis commented. "My grandmother saw right through her."

"Yeah, well, I wish your grandmother had set me straight," he replied, "Would have saved us both a lot of time and heart ache."

"Jo sleeps in my old room now. I went in there the other day to get a few boxes out of the back of my closet," Alexis started. "I found that old T-shirt you wore the weekend we had the loft to ourselves."

"That was one of my favorite weekends," he smiled.

"I could never find it after that weekend. If you wanted it back, I have it now."

"It's yours," he told her.

"Things happened how they were supposed to," Alexis swallowed hard, "It was one of the hardest things I had to do in leaving you, but I can't regret how I lived my life after you. I'm sorry if this hurts, but I made a good life for myself with Chris...until the explosion."

This time Kevin didn't hesitate in taking her hand, partly to offer comfort and partly to reassure himself that she was real. If she'd been closer to that building, he'd have been standing next to Castle and Beckett at her funeral. Just the thought made him sick and he squeezed her hand lightly.

"Kevin?"

"It does hurt but, it would've hurt more if you'd died too."

"I thought about you," Alexis admitted, "Nearly every day, nearly every time I looked into Hunter's eyes. Somehow Chris found a way to be okay with it."

"I would love to hate him," Kevin confessed. "I want to hate him, you have no idea how much, but I can't. I can't hate a man who made you happy."

"He reminded me a little of you," she replied, "He had the same fierce determination to find justice."

"Castle said he was from Alabama?" Kevin recalled a detail from Castle's initial complaint of Alexis's marriage.

"Yes. His accent," Alexis shook her head in amusement. "It was thick and in the beginning there were times I couldn't understand what he was saying."

"You've got a bit of an accent too," Kevin smiled.

"I do not," she protested.

"It's a bit north meets south," he replied.

"Oh God, really?" Alexis blushed.

"I like it," Kevin told her.

"So what kind of man are you these days, Kevin Ryan?" she squeezed his hand.

"Just trying to do right by the city and my family," Kevin said. "All of my family."

"How are things with you and Javi? Still good?"

"We've had a few rough patches recently," he admitted.

"Yeah I stumbled into the middle of one, didn't I?" she frowned.

"Don't," Kevin shook his head. "It's on me. I never told him back then and he's pissed."

"I never wanted to mess up things between the two of you," she felt tears well in her eyes.

"I was selfish back then," he admitted, "I wanted to keep you all to myself, and I didn't want to share any part of what we had with anyone. To him it felt like I didn't trust him."

"Was it that you wanted to keep me to yourself or were you afraid of what Javi might do with the information?"

"He wouldn't have gone to your dad, if that's what you mean," Kevin said.

"I know, but he might have come to me and asked me to end it."

"If you knew he'd found out, what would you have done?" he asked curiously. "What would you have done if he came to you and told you to end it?"

"I tried to end it once or twice before I left New York," Alexis reminded him. "I couldn't do it. Javi knowing would've been dangerous. You two don't always think before you start arguing. You both have tempers. The simplest disagreement between you two and half the precinct would've found out. So, I think I would've ended it."

"Guess it was best he didn't find out," Kevin replied.

"If he'd told you to end it, reminded you that you were married, or threatened to tell my dad, what would you have done?"

"I don't know," Kevin glanced towards his left hand where the ring had finally been removed. He thought he'd feel strange about not wearing it, but it hadn't. It felt like a weight had been lifted. "I was scared to end my marriage, which is maybe why it's only now that I've found the courage, but maybe it would have been for the best if he had found out. It would have forced me to make the tough decision."

"And if my dad had been the one to find out about us?"

"I think I still would have made the tough decision, but with a serious limp," he replied.

Alexis giggled, "Would it make you feel better to know that he wasn't crazy about Christopher at first?"

"That had nothing to do with Chris as a person and everything to do with where he lived."

"It might have had more to do with how no man was ever good enough for his only daughter," Alexis replied. "Lord, I can only imagine how hard it's going to be for poor Jo."

"Yeah Sarah Grace's future boyfriends aren't in for an easy time either," Kevin commented.

"Pretty sure that Maggie's going to have it rough too," Alexis snickered, "Her brothers are quite protective of her."

"And she has her grandpa and Uncle Javi," Kevin smiled.

"Javi should have some kids of his own."

"That's a scary thought all on its own," Kevin clutched at his chest, "Little Espos running around."

Alexis laughed again, "He'd be a great dad, stop it."

"He's a good uncle. I'll give you that," Kevin replied. "He's always come through for Sarah Grace."

"How's she taking everything?"

"She puts on a brave face for us," Kevin's eyes cast to the table, "I didn't want to put her through something like this, but what was the alternative? Two parents that rarely interacted with each other."

Alexis put her other hand over his, "I'm sorry. It's not easy to see your kids in pain, I know."

"She's a smart girl," Kevin replied, "I think she knew it was coming. With us not spending Christmas Eve together or New Year's Eve…she didn't seem surprised, she didn't even cry."

Alexis moved her hand on the side of his face, "She may seem like she's okay, but I promise you, she's not. Make her talk to you."

"Yeah, I'm trying," Kevin stated.

"How often do you get to see her?" Alexis asked.

"Every chance I get. It's not easy," Kevin admitted.

"Jenny?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, "She's making it as difficult as she can, but Sarah Grace seems to understand that it's not my choice to not be around as much as I want to."

"You're still a good man, Charlie Brown," Alexis smiled.

"Thank you, Lucy," he returned her smile.

"I missed that," Alexis admitted.

"Me too."

"So where do we go from here?" Alexis asked.

"We started as friends. I'd like to get back to that again."

"Is that all?" she bit her lip.

"For now," he nodded, "We're both trying to pick up the pieces of our lives. It's going to be awhile before we can even try to see if they fit together."

"You're still in there," she realized. "The decent guy I had a huge crush on at fifteen is still in there. I think I forgot for a while."

"I think I forgot he was there too," he admitted. "I was hard on myself…after you left so abruptly."

"Kevin, I…" she began.

"No," he halted her, "Let's save that for another time."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "No expectations tonight, remember?"

Dinner came and went, and they continued to banter back and forth. In some ways, it felt like years apart had never occurred, but in others it felt like the time apart had been much longer.

Kevin was far too hard on himself, taking all the blame for their separation. She'd tried several times to set him straight, but every time he stopped her, claiming it wasn't the time.

After dinner, when he got her a cab, they faced each other and she wasn't sure what to do for a moment and then she kissed his cheek.

"This was fun," she tugged lightly at his tie, "Maybe we can do it again."

"Yes," Kevin said. "I would like that."

"Maybe in a couple of weeks," she shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

"Not next week?" he asked hopefully.

"No," she shook her head, "My dad has lined up showings with a realtor. He claims to have found the perfect place for me and the kids."

"Still trying to make sure you stay close?"

"Yes," Alexis nodded. "You know my dad."

"Yes, I do," Kevin nodded.

"Well, whenever you do find a place, let me know," Kevin replied, "I'll help you move."

"I appreciate the offer, thanks," Alexis smiled.

"Nite, Lex," he brought her hand to his lips.

"Nite," her eyes were on her hand and his lips.

Kevin helped her into the cab and then watched it drive away.

Alexis looked out the back window of the cab and watched Kevin for a moment before she turned around and settled against the seat. God, she hadn't wanted to say goodnight. What was wrong with her?

-d-d-d-d-

So we went a little long on this one. I hope everyone liked it.