:D Thanks for all of the reviews guys! I was so happy to hear all of the feedback, and there is major happiness that the lists are a big hit! I have fun writing them!
:( Sad days... school is back tomorrow. I'll have to actually go to sleep before 3 o'clock or I'll never wake up for school.
Alas, all good things must come to an end! :(
NOTICE: Your reviews paid off! Chapter 9 has been released with no harm done! Thank you for paying the ransom! Here it is, safe and sound, and just for you to read!!
Meh, I had fun writing this! Let's get this show on the road, yeah?
Enjoy :3
5 Reasons Why I'm Labeled a Pervert:
A list by Axel Flurry
1. When I was little, my grandma's friend was eating sea salt ice cream and a glomp of it fell on her chest and slid down her shirt. Since I was looking and laughing while it happened, they all assumed I was staring at her breasts… or, lack thereof…
2. I've been known to hit on anything with two legs and a dick.
3. I have another persona called, "The Perverted Axel" where I can't control what I do. I simply act, and then wake up hours later with no recollection. Ok, a pretty good recollection… but still.
4. I'm kissing Roxas. The same Roxas who hates me. The same Roxas that I got to go on a date with me, keeping in mind that he hates me. The same Roxas that's also currently smashed from a drink entitled, "Hair of the Dog".
5. And I don't want to stop.
Axel didn't really know what heaven was like. Sure, he'd seen pictures. He'd heard about it in the Baptist church down the road next to the bar. He'd even asked his brother, Reno, about it once… but he didn't know what heaven was like. Not even when he prayed had he gotten an answer. Axel figured he was going to hell for being his nasty self anyway, so why did he matter? He pictured heaven anyway, just to be spiteful, and he thought it would be a pretty nice place to be.
It would include, of course, Roxas kissing him like this. Everywhere.
You would think that being drunk off an alcoholic beverage that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet would make you a sloppy, messy kisser, but no. No, Roxas was far from a messy kisser. It was almost like because he'd become smashed by a drink that made you think of a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet, he had to counteract the idea of said drink and kiss in a very orderly, clean, and precise way that was nothing like Axel had expected him to kiss like.
And he was loving every second of it.
It was deep. And Sensual. But clean. Which was strange because he was leaning in a bit more than normal, his body unable to keep itself up since it was drunk off an alcoholic beverage that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet. But Axel didn't mind. And Axel also didn't mind how his chest was pressed right up against him. Roxas was cradling his face with shivery, cold fingers, the tips pressed tightly against his skin like he was trying to keep him there.
Not like Axel felt like moving.
Though it wasn't the rough make out technique that Rufus or Kadaj seemed to favor, it was just what Axel wanted. In fact, it was nice. Hot. As close to touching him as Axel suspected he'd get for the night.
That is, unless his libido had any say in the matter.
Axel felt the temptation; he felt the unnecessary pull that made him lift his hands and let them snake around Roxas's hips and back. He couldn't help it; he was cursed! He just had to push his luck, didn't he?! Of course he did. It wouldn't be Axel if he just let it stay innocent. It wouldn't be Axel if he let Roxas experiment and make a move on his own.
It's a curse.
And yet… his guilt was starting to weigh on him. This is a drunk, angry boy, his mind whispered with disapproval. You want this guy, but are you going to push him over the edge to get what you want?
Why yes, yes he was.
He deepened the kiss, pressing his lips more insistently against Roxas's and sliding his hand up against his neck. He let his tongue glide slowly across Roxas's lips, tasting the alcohol and relishing in the soft gasp his uke-love made. Very persuasive and forceful, Axel slipped his tongue into Roxas's mouth and explored, careful to keep Roxas pressed tightly against him so that he could feel every single piece of exposed skin. It drove him crazy that Roxas was so willing, so obviously willing, and Axel couldn't stop his hands from moving down his sides and across his flat stomach to slide down even farther.
Ok, Axel, it's time to stop before you scar him.
Roxas's fingers lightly pressed against his skin, his cool touch reacting with Axel's natural heat, making shivers race under his skin.
You can do this! You can stop at any time!
A soft moan escaped Roxas's mouth as Axel bit his lip playfully and tugged him almost out of the swing.
Ok, let's try this… three… two… one… STOP!
Axel could feel his fingers slipping under the shirt to trace over the smooth skin. Instead of him resisting though, Roxas leaned even closer, a soft sigh slipping past his lips.
Axel froze.
Did he just hear… what he thought he'd just heard? Did Roxas really just… sigh contently? Oh… oh no. That was just wrong. That was just awful. How could his soon to be moaning and panting uke think that it was ok to sigh like that? In what way was that acceptable, at all? It wasn't.
It wasn't fair, either.
With an internal groan, he pulled away from the one thing he really wanted, eyes wistful. Roxas's eyes were closed, lips parted and willing, slightly swollen from Axel's steady and strong kisses, so tempting and inviting that Axel had to close his eyes in a last ditch effort to resist the one thing he'd wanted for weeks on end. Why was he trying so hard? Why was he resisting?
It was that sigh.
That sigh… it was so… innocent.
Sounds stupid, right? And yet…how could he try to do something with a guy that sighed contently and naively? Like he'd never been touched like that before. Axel grimaced and opened his eyes to see Roxas lazily looking at him with half lidded eyes and a dazed look on his face. Ugh, of course…
"Why-… why did you… stop?" Roxas asked softly, vulnerably. His eyes opened a little more as he attempted to think past the drink that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet, and he frowned a little. "Am I… am I not a good kisser?" He asked childishly. Axel let out a husky, half strangled laugh and let his head fall a little into Roxas's lap, surprisingly not thinking of any sexual connotations at that moment. Sure, he probably had a couple cooked up in his sub-conscious but he wasn't bringing them up. He felt too icky and guilty.
"No, Roxas… you're not a bad kisser." Axel mumbled to the side, half happy and half disgusted with himself as Roxas let clumsy, slender fingers comb through his thick, unruly hair.
"Then why… did you stop kissing me?" He asked, not really understanding why he'd just been shot down. Honestly, if Axel wasn't feeling so low, he would have laughed at that. Out of all the things he thought Roxas would be, self conscious was not one of them.
"Wish I knew, kid." Axel replied, pulling his head up to fix his confused uke with a frustrated stare. Bright, glassy, shiny eyes stared back at him, and slightly swollen lips were pursed innocently at him, reminding him that he was an utter ass.
"I… don't understand." He dragged his words out, frowning as he tried to speak past the alcoholic drink that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet. Axel would have applauded him for trying if he wasn't in the middle of an internal battle, eyes fixed on Roxas's lips that were captured between his teeth.
Come on… look at him. He's willing and vulnerable. Open to whatever you want to do.
No! You let him get drunk, you let him wander over here; it's time to take responsibility!
I bet if you pulled him on top of you right now, he'd let you take him on the ride of his life and-
And then you'd have to explain to him why you used him and-
You should just grab him right now and suffocate him with really heavy, really sloppy-
For once try to care that you've put a poor boy in a very bad situation and take account-
Take your little "Jiminy Cricket's" advice and take account of the fact that he won't remember this in the morning so it doesn't matter!
Don't listen to this dick-head, you're not sure if he'll remember or not and why put him in that situation like-
Oh, so we're name calling now? Well I'd like to call up the nominee for best looking sex standing on two legs that all three of us have seen in quite some time!
Hah! Got you there; he's not even standing on two legs; he's sitting.
And when I get through with him, he won't able to sit either.
Axel frowned at the turn of conversation that his thoughts had taken and he stood up abruptly, grabbing a hold of Roxas's wrist and tugging him gently to his feet. He had to get out of there… fast. Hardly giving him time to get his balance, Axel guided him over towards the fence and when he saw that there was no break in the chain links so that they could leave easily, he carefully hoisted the much smaller boy over and then hopped over before the inebriated boy wouldn't do something stupid again.
Like explain the philosophy of staring at the moon.
Roxas followed quietly, his talkative drunk attitude gone like Axel and kissed it right out of him. Had he? That would be a stellar gift, in Axel's opinion. He even had a sales pitch; can't get your significant other to shut the hell up? Hey, been there, my friend. Don't fret though! With one amazing kiss by this red head to my right, and your blabber mouth of a partner will talk no more, all for the simple price of 19.99 per kiss! And, as a special bonus, we'll throw in his reluctant drunk for free! That's right, free.
His attention span was one to be marveled at.
"Axel, I can't get on the bike." Axel jerked out of his slight stupor to see Roxas struggling to get onto his shiny, irreplaceable red bike, his arms flailing as he attempted to grasp the other side. Images of his bike toppling over and getting scratched up or, worse, dented flashed through his mind, and as Roxas made a move to jump back on, Axel grabbed him and pulled him out of arms reach of his bike, breathing a mental sigh of relief that Roxas hadn't hurt his bike…
Yet.
Pulling him back a little more to ensure that his bike wouldn't be harmed by the boy drunk off of a drink that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet, Axel sighed. Roxas couldn't keep his balance standing, how in the hell did Axel think he could hang onto him with his motorcycle swerving and going at high speed? Glancing over at his spaced out uke, Axel had to admit a small defeat; Roxas wouldn't be able to hang onto him, let alone stay on the bike at all.
Pulling out his phone, Axel dialed Zack's number, hoping that he'd pick up. Maybe, just maybe being the only straight guy amongst flaming gays would make him seek refuge in a quiet place where-
"Zack here." Relief spread through Axel at the sound of an aggravated, grouchy, stuffed animal lover's voice, and inwardly, Axel smiled to himself. Beside him, Roxas stared over at the swing set with confusion on his face.
"Hey, are you still in Wonderland?"
"Yeah, waiting on Rufus to get his ass outside so we can go. We took his car so I don't have the damn keys." Zack's aggravation was apparent, even through the phone.
"Want to take my motorcycle? Roxas can't stay on the bike." Roxas turned at the sound of his name, and Axel turned away so that he didn't have to see his face. The guilt was building a bit too much. Which was annoying. Because he shouldn't feel guilty.
"I love you." Zack gushed. A sly smile made Axel's lips curve up slowly.
"You'll have to break the news to Aerith." Axel retorted.
"Fuck off."
"Only with you." The line went dead, and Axel chuckled to himself before tossing his motorcycle key in the helmet so that Zack would be able to drive before he grabbed Roxas's hand and tugged him towards the road. Thanks to Twilight Town's lack of a mark on a road map, some of the roads leading to and from other cities were dirt roads and just a straight line. So all Axel had to do was take Roxas down the back road home and they'd be there in about an hour or so, give or take. Sure, the motorcycle would take them about ten, fifteen minutes, but at least he wouldn't have to pick chunks of Roxas off of the road.
"Where are we going?" Roxas asked, stumbling along unsteadily. Axel glanced over at him to see him staring down at the ground, eyes focused on his feet and his hands splayed out on either side for balance.
"We're walking home so that you can sleep of the hangover you're going to have in the morning." Axel replied, catching Roxas as he stumbled over his own feet. His face was flushed except for two red patches on his cheeks, and his bright blue eyes were narrowed in concentration. He looked close to passing out, actually.
"Is it… far?"
"No, Roxas, it's not far." Axel lied, not at all guilty about lying really. No, that wasn't what he felt guilty about. No, no… what he felt guilty about was trying to make out with a drunk, confused, and emotionally unstable uke who was totally willing to do whatever, but so innocent it was a sin.
But what the HELL was wrong with him feeling so, so guilty about this kid?! He'd never, ever felt guilty for taking advantage of anyone, let alone a drunk date that was willing to do whatever. Why was he suddenly feeling bad about it? It's not like he raped him or anything! But with the guilt that was eating him up, he might as well have. Why would he feel guilty? Why would he feel like he'd done something dirty, like he'd taken it too far?
What the hell was wrong with him?!
Glancing over at Roxas, the guilt ripped through him even more, and he glared. Why was this kid making him feel like that? He was just a nice piece of ass. A nice piece of drunk ass, but regardless… nice ass.
They turned towards the dirt road, stepping off of the sidewalk and across an empty street to cut through a small crick that led them to the straight road. Axel was glad that Roxas hadn't spoken, not really wanting to have any temptation to do something. It was like he was being torn into two different directions with no idea which one to choose, and he was sure that Roxas speaking would sway his decision. He hadn't brought up the earlier situation, and he wasn't mentioning anything about the damned mood. As long as he kept that up, Axel was ok.
"You haven't tried to molest me."
Well… that idea just flew out of the metaphorical window.
Axel wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. He could agree… but then Roxas would probably ask why. And Axel couldn't answer that because he didn't know why.
"I… what brought that up?" Axel decided to play it neutral and see where Roxas was getting at.
"You are always trying to molest me… but not now." Roxas spoke carefully, frowning around words he couldn't say easily in his drunken slur.
"The feeling comes and goes." Axel replied airily, waving his hand away dismissively. Roxas wasn't looking at him though, so the motion escaped him, but at Axel's words, he stopped, lifting his head slowly to stare, bright blue eyes penetrating even in inebriation. Axel stopped unwillingly as well and waited for Roxas to continue walking.
"This is the first time it's gone."
"What, want it to come back?" Axel asked playfully, trying to get him to stop. Maybe if embarrassed him enough he'd let the subject go?
"Is it… because I kissed you?" He asked carefully, his eyes trained fixatedly on Axel's face. He looked confused and upset, and then it hit Axel that the silence was actually a bad thing because that meant that Roxas had time to think. And thinking led to conversations like this. What was he supposed to say? He wasn't much of a conversationalist unless a conversation could be considered something like, "Yes, more," or, "right there, please!"
And in standard society's terms he was sure that wasn't even a conversation starter.
"No, Roxas, it's not because you kissed me." Axel tried to sound soothing and calming, but he was pretty sure it wasn't working. If anything, Roxas seemed more distressed. A little frustrated, Axel pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly, taking a long drag and holding his breath to get the nicotine in his system. He needed to chill out. Blowing smoke away from the general direction of his uke, he looked back to see Roxas watching him with the same upset stare.
"Then… why are you not trying to be so, so-"
"Perverted? Overbearing? Nasty? Sexual?" Axel ticked the words off of his fingers with a slightly sardonic grin. Roxas shook his head slowly, frowning.
"I- I think so. But not just that… I mean, you… it's because I kissed you. You're different." Roxas shook his head and pressed his hand to his head. "I'm dizzy." He declared. Nodding slowly to himself, Axel hmm'd and reached out, grabbing Roxas's hand and squeezing it gently as he began propelling him down the road.
"I thought you would welcome the change. Don't you hate me doing stuff like that?" He asked. Roxas nodded along dumbly, frown in place. It was not as fearsome as his usual frown or glare, but it was still a Roxas signature frown.
"It feels like… a trap. Or like I did something wrong." Roxas mumbled. Axel nodded along thoughtfully.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Roxas. It's nothing about you, I promise you that. This is all me, Mr. Axel Flurry." He laughed past his cigarette and rolled his shoulders to help himself relax. He wasn't really expecting Roxas to be the type that was worried about things he did, nor did he seem the type to be self conscious about things he did. It could be the fact that he was drunk, or it could be that those things that he seemed to lock away became apparent when he was drunk.
Either way, it showed that Axel didn't know him as well as he thought.
"Axel, I don't feel so good." Roxas mumbled to him. Axel glanced over at him to see that he did look a little paler than usual, and his eyes were drooping as he spoke.
"Are you going to throw up?" He asked, inwardly groaning. He hated throwing up. He hated people who threw up. He hated how if he heard, smelt, or saw throw up, he threw up as well.
It's a curse.
"I don't… think so." Roxas swayed a little unsteadily, and before Axel could respond he slumped over, eyes shutting as he sagged to the ground.
"Whoa, easy there." Axel caught his head before it smacked the unforgiving ground and he frowned, clenching his release between his teeth. Thankfully, Roxas was breathing shallowly through his slightly parted lips, and Axel prayed he didn't have alcohol poisoning from the drink that made you picture a wet, dirty dog rubbing his ass on the carpet. If that was the case, he was as good as dead because there wasn't a town within a ten minute walk. The closest town was Wonderland, and they hardly had the money to run a brothel let alone keep a doctor's office.
"Hey… Roxas, wake up." No movement. Not even a twitch at his name. Frowning at his current situation, Axel realized that he'd have to carry the little uke home since he wasn't awake to walk.
Note to self: Don't let Roxas drink on next date… if there even is a next date.
With Axel's luck, he'd have to start from scratch to get the kid to ever talk to him again, let alone go on a date.
Picking him up, Axel was surprised to see that Roxas wasn't as heavy as he thought. Well wasn't this his lucky day! With major difficulty that would take a paragraph or so to describe so I'll stick to this sentence, Axel managed to drag Roxas up his back and wrap his legs around his waist and lock his arms around his neck. Shifting around to get comfortable, Axel sucked on his cigarette one last time before he spat it out and began walking, blowing smoke out of his mouth slowly.
"I really got to lay off of the cigarettes." He muttered to himself.
"Do you want to touch me?" There was a rustling of blankets and then a low moan.
"Always." There was a hushed whisper, and then a muted groan as Riku pressed himself up against Sora and smiled wolfishly. "Always."
"Then touch me." Sora whispered softly.
"I'll do more than that. I'll-"
DING-DONG!
Sora jerked away from Riku and stared at the door of his room, heart thudding. Glancing at his clock, he frowned at then looked over at Riku. Riku looked just as confused, but when the doorbell rang again they both bolted from bed and dressed quickly into legit pajamas before going into the hallway where a very pissed off Larxene and a very sleepy Demyx stood. Cloud and Roxas were surprisingly absent.
"Who is it?" Demyx mumbled, blinking owlishly and rubbing his eyes.
"Don't care, just answer the fucking door so I can sleep." Larxene snapped before turning and stomping back into her room, slamming the door with a loud BANG!
"Can you get that, Sora? I- I-" A loud yawn punctuated the air, followed by another DING-DONG! "I don't think I can make it all the way down there." Sora nodded, wide awake, and began walking quickly down the stairs, Riku fast on his tail.
Reaching the door, Sora peeked through the hole and then jumped back with a gasp. All he saw was red. Lots and lots of red. Opening the door after undoing the 7 different locks, Sora peered around the door in time to see Axel attempting to pull Roxas off of his back, his face set in deep concentration and major fatigue.
Wait, what?!
"Can you get him for me?" Axel grunted, twisting his body and trying to pull the sleeping blondie off of his back. Sora and Riku stared, both of them slack-jawed and too shocked to help out the obviously frustrated boy in front of them. What were they supposed to do? Here they were around three or four in the morning staring at something that by natural law shouldn't be occurring! At Axel's third, "Mother Fucker!" though Riku stepped up and helped him twist Roxas until the out-like-a-light boy was tucked into Axel's arms bridal style.
"What are you-"
"He passed out on the way home and I carried him here. Thought he wouldn't welcome waking up in bed with me. Kid didn't have a key in his pockets so I assumed it was somewhere he wouldn't appreciate me groping." Axel shrugged his way past them and turned towards the living room, following the turn of the walls. "Not that I wouldn't mind." Axel tacked on, smirking.
Once again, Sora was reduced to his jaw dropping as a response.
"Where did you guys go?" Riku asked, Sora nodding along with him. Roxas would never, ever willingly go somewhere with Axel. The red head must have done something to him, then. That was the only logical explanation. Maybe he drugged him? Sure, they'd seen him earlier on the way to their little swimming hole, but honestly? Roxas must have been blackmailed.
Axel probably found the cross-dressing pictures Sora's aunt took of Roxas for Christmas then.
"Where's his room?" Axel asked loftily. Jerking from his stupor, Sora shook his head and scurried around the overbearing, slightly intimidating red head to run up the stairs and clear the way so that Axel could carry Roxas up the steps easily.
"Why'd he pass out?" Riku asked, smirk evident in his voice. Sora gave Riku as exasperated glance but his boyfriend wasn't really paying attention to him at that moment. Which wasn't a surprise because his attention was currently on the one thing in life that Sora was positive would never happen.
Life was just full of surprises like that.
"A little too much alcohol… I didn't know he was could hold his liquor so well." Axel laughed huskily as the turned a corner on the landing and trekked up the second flight of stairs towards the added layers of "The Burrow".
"He can… once he hits about thirty shots of straight whisky he gets a little woozy, but I've never seen him pass out before unless he chose to fall asleep." Sora babbled brightly, not scared as they passed their parents layer of the house. Luxord and his wife could sleep through anything… which was why Luxord regarded his wife as a "sleeping beauty". Reaching the third stairway, they made their way up to Cloud and Roxas's rooms easily and Sora opened up Roxas's neat and orderly room so that Axel could step in. Why was he even helping though? He was still in shock that Roxas was out like a light and obviously relaxed in Axel's arms!
Something to ponder…
"Smells clean." He commented with a smirk as he passed, smelling of cigarettes, alcohol, and a sharp cologne that seemed to fit his sharp and electric personality.
"Roxas is very O.C.D. about cleanliness." Sora agreed as he moved out of the way so that Axel could say goodbye. Riku instantly moved so that his hand calmly rested on Sora's hip in an almost possessive way. Instead of being bothered by it, Sora smiled a little; take that, mystery texter!
Yes, he was still fighting that silent, unspoken battle against the myster texter. So far, he felt like he was winning, but it was only because he hadn't seen hide or hair of said texter since Riku had come back. Sora was sure that it was because he'd gotten rid of the texter himself and not because he'd been too scared to check Riku's messages. He was positive that if he checked he'd find nothing but messages from people he knew! Yup... there was nothing to worry about.
That sounded a lot more convincing in his head then as you read that, trust me.
Axel gently laid Roxas on his bed, turning him to his side and pulling the blanket up and over him. He seemed a little awkward doing it, like he was scared to make the wrong move. Maybe he was nervous that Sora was watching him so avidly? Could he blame him though? Sora knew about Roxas's dislike of the porcupine; why would he hang out with him?
The idea of blackmail was still at the top of Sora's list.
"Sorry, kiddo." Axel murmured before he shocked Sora and Riku by leaning in and pressing a very chaste and very soft kiss to Roxas's cheek. Nothing nasty; nothing perverted. Just a simple kiss on the cheek. Sora's jaw dropped in disbelief as Axel then shrugged, pulling out a cigarette and putting it into his mouth, unlit. Turning around he walked past a stunned Riku and Sora, a half smile on his face.
"Catching flies." He commented, tapping the bottom of Sora's jaw. Disappearing down the stairs, he was well ahead of Sora and Riku before they decided to turn and race after him, exchanging looks of shock. They had some questions, dammit, and he was going to answer them!
Like it or not!
By the time they'd caught up, he was in the living room, humming softly under his breath. Panting lightly, Sora gave him a dirty glare; how did he get there so fast?! Sure, his legs were longer, and he had a head start…
But still!
"Why did-" He took a deep breath, leaning on Riku for support. "he go-" gasp, "with you to- to- to-" hack, gasp, "wherever you guys-" gasp, "Went to?!" Axel leveled him with a steady, arrogant stare, his cigarette dangling out of his mouth like he was hardly aware that it was there.
"You're out of shape." His lips curled over his teeth like a predator that had caught its prey. Sora vaguely realized why Roxas couldn't stand Axel's smile. It was scary, in a way. It was confidant and arrogant with a side order of cockiness. Yes, those were synonymous with one another but Sora just liked saying things like that. It helped give a visual of just how arrogant his smile was.
"How did- how did you get him to go with you?!" Sora demanded in his best authoritative voice. He could almost imagine Riku behind him, smiling at his attempt but shaking his head. Sora couldn't really do authoritative very well. Or anything that had something to do with taking control. No, those genes passed onto his twin.
Whereas he got the happy gene. Take that, Roxas!
Axel looked him up and down slowly, his smirk becoming more of a Cheshire cat grin as he raised an eyebrow and pulled out his lighter, flicking it and pressing the flame to his cigarette for a moment before he shrugged and turned towards the open door.
"That's a story for another time. For now, I'll let you get back to your hard on." Chuckling darkly, Axel walked out of the house and left Sora and Riku standing in the middle of the room, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. Had Sora wanted Axel to notice that? No. Had he? Of course.
Life was a bitch that way.
"How did he-" Riku cut Sora off as he pressed his chest right against his back. Sora let out a small squeak of shock.
"If there was one thing I liked that came out of his mouth tonight it was that… he did say he would let us get back to our little… problem." Riku whispered in Sora's ear. Shivering in delight, Sora decided that he would let his curiosity wait, something a little south of his brain egging him on as he turned and practically dragged Riku back up the stairs to bed.
He'd interrogate Roxas later.
On the corner of Mad Hatter Way and March Hare Avenue, a lonely man stood sullenly next to a firey red motorcycle. His phone was dead and his ipod was on the verge of suicide. The chilly air was unforgiving on his bare arms and his jacket had been stolen by a group of homeless, old men. Honestly, they were stronger then they looked.
"Of course." Zack mumbled, kicking the motorcycle tire.
Of course.
Of course he was best friends with a horny, gay man.
Of course said horny, gay man had to invite him to a whore infested town where you had to disinfect everything before touching it.
Of course this horny gay man forgot to give him the personalized alarm button to undo the alarm on the motorcycle so that he could drive it.
Of course he'd agreed to drive the motorcycle home without asking for it.
Of course he felt stupid for not asking for it.
Of course Rufus had already left without checking to make sure he had a ride.
Of course no one but Aerith cared.
"Of course."
Five Reasons Why Axel is Dead Tomorrow:
A list by Zack Turk
1. Once his "date" is sober he'll castrate him… probably with a rusty spoon.
2. I told my aunt about the note he wrote about me wanting more stuffed animals. Yes, I know he wrote the note. When I got a letter saying of course she'd send more stuffed animals and I replied with a, "WHAT THE HELL!" she suspected sabotage.
3. He's left me stranded with no way to get home
4. Once I dismember this motorcycle I will then make the long trek to his house that will take me until tomorrow.
5. And I will shank him with his motorcycle key
Hit or miss? Let me know in a review!
See? I told you the chapter was safe from harm! Except for a few minor psychological problems, it will be able to carry on and function like a normal chapter in a story does!
OH! I have a new pet flying squirrel. It's just plain adorable, and I had to share that story with you guys because I've already told all of my friends.
:) Happy days! Remember to review and let me know what you think! :) Don't make me take ch. 10 hostage too!
