Yao felt himself moving. He opened his eyes. Well, he opened one. The other wouldn't open. He reached a hand up to touch the eye that wouldn't open. It was swollen shut. He rested his cheek against the man holding him. "Ivan?" He asked. Ivan looked down at him, and for once, Ivan wasn't smiling, nor did he look gentle. His face was stern and he was actually frowning, though Yao knew the anger wasn't directed at him. Or maybe it was. Maybe Ivan thought he'd put himself into this situation. He didn't know. "Ivan?" He asked again.
"We're at the hospital, Yao."
"What?! Why?"
Ivan's eyebrows furrowed. It was pretty obvious why they were at the hospital. "You're hurt. I just want you to be safe," he answered, squinting at Yao suspiciously. Yao shifted under his gaze. "I could try walking, Ivan. I think my legs are okay," he said, carefully putting both feet on the ground. His legs hurt from running, but it wasn't too bad. He still held Ivan's arm, though.
"We'll just get you checked out and we'll leave. Alright?"
Yao nodded. "A-Alright."
Ivan watched the doctor shut the door after bandaging Yao's face. He turned to the smaller man, his arms crossed and his eyes strict. "Why didn't you tell him?" He asked.
Yao gulped. "Uh, well, I'm afraid. Okay? I'm afraid, Ivan. Are you happy? I'm so weak," he answered with a faint cry. "And now I'm crying and I don't know what's wrong with me. Shit." He held his face and looked down at the floor. "Even if they put him in jail he'd have one of his friends or something come after me. Or he'd find a way to weasel out of jail and he'd kill me."
"Yao, get a restraining order and move out. Don't stay with him. That is the best thing you could do. You could leave."
"I don't have anywhere to go. I can't live with Mei. She doesn't have room and I don't want to make her pay more than she already pays to keep her home and keep her restaurant. I can't live with my brothers because they can barely pay to keep themselves alive and Leon wouldn't let me live with him anyways. He kicked me out once," he admitted. He didn't like to tell people he had been kicked out by his own brother. His little brother. It was embarrassing when the person who was supposed to love you unconditionally turned their back on you.
Ivan studied Yao's face for a moment. "Come live with me," he said finally. Yao looked up. Did Ivan just ask him if he . . .
"What?" Yao asked. Ivan stood and shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "Come live with me. I have a room you can stay in. You don't have to pay me anything. I really just want you to be safe, Yao."
Yeah. He had just asked him that. He wasn't sure what Ivan's home was like. Probably really modern and very nice. He wasn't sure what Ivan was like at home, though. Everyone was different at home than in public. Himself included. He was actually afraid that if Ivan saw how he acted at home he'd hate him. He'd think he had weird habits or think that he looked ugly when he first woke up. He had the messiest hair when he woke up and damn he really didn't want Ivan to think he was sloppy. He didn't want to be seen like he felt.
"Ivan, I'm not sure if I can," he said quietly. Ivan pursed his lips. He hoped he wasn't coming on too strong, but he definitely could have been. He didn't know. Should he have offered? Of course he should have offered. He wanted Yao out of this situation and he was going to do whatever it took to get him out. Well, almost everything. Thinking of all of this made him ask the question he'd had for a few days.
"Do you want me to do anything with Francois?" He wasn't sure how Yao would take the question, but he had to ask. If Yao gave him the go, he'd do anything to get rid of that prick. But he had to keep a cool facade.
Yao looked up with glossy eyes. "You can't do anything to him. If you hurt him you might go to jail and I wouldn't be able to see you."
Ivan nodded. That was that. "Yao, I'd like you out of this situation. I'll make a deal with you. You come stay with me. You'll be safe. If you choose to go back to him, when the doctor comes in next, I'm going to tell him who did this and I'm going to call the police. Alright? So you leave or the police get involved. I know you're afraid. That's why I'm offering this. Leave and I'll protect you. I promise. And I don't break promises, Yao."
Yao looked both thankful and horrified. On one hand, he was glad that Ivan was willing to give him a home and security, while on the other hand, he was afraid of what Francois would do to him. Why wasn't he just turning him in?
Oh yeah. Because he was a sugary, kind man when he wanted to be. When he was trying to get out of something. And his friends. He'd find a way to tell his friends about what happened and then Yao would have to deal with them, too. Francois was more influential than he looked.
Even if he was put away, it would only be for a few years, and his anger would most likely fester into venomous rage. He'd get out and he might try to find him and he knew he wouldn't hesitate on killing him after he'd put him in jail.
If he didn't go to jail for some reason, if he found a way to get himself out of it, he'd be pissed that Yao had tried to get him arrested and he really didn't want to think about what would happen in that situation.
But then he'd be pissed at Yao for living with another man. He might try to hurt Ivan.
"What are you so afraid of, Yao?" Ivan finally asked. He didn't mean to sound like he didn't care or didn't understand how difficult this situation was, but he might have come off that way.
Yao crossed his arms, though it looked more like he was holding himself than anything. "I don't know, I just . . . I'm afraid if I lived with you then he'd find out somehow and he'd try to hurt you." He looked up to see Ivans reaction. He smiled. He actually smiled at that.
"Yao, I am 100% sure you don't need to worry about him hurting me. I would laugh, but your face looks serious and I don't want to make you think I don't appreciate your concern. Because I do. I really do. But it is unnecessary," said Ivan.
Yao studied Ivan. I mean, he looked like he could protect himself. But he was such a nice man. He didn't seem like he would hurt a fly, and he might have to hurt an actual person in this case. But he seemed so confident in his abilities, Yao began to stop doubting him after a moment.
"Alright. I guess I could stay with you. And I don't mean to intrude, or anything. Just tell me when and I'll leave. Or if I'm ever doing something annoying or weird and it pisses you off, I'm really sorry, I just am, uh, awkward? And I don't know when I'm pissing people off. Normally I don't give a shit, but I really care about what you think of me, Ivan, and-"
"Yao, stop. I'm not going to sugarcoat this, okay? We're both going to piss each other off sometimes. It's not likely that we won't. But I think it is likely that I won't get pissed over the things you think I'll get pissed about. I think you're wonderful, Yao, I really do. Nothing about you is going to drive me away unless you want me to do so."
Yao almost blushed when Ivan called him wonderful, but he was trying to keep calm and not say or do anything embarrassing yet. It was inevitable, so he'd hold it off as long as he could.
"I really don't think you could do anything to piss me off, Ivan," he said, standing up when he heard the door open. Ivan would have responded with "You'd be surprised," but a nurse was coming in with a piece of paper. She handed it to Yao and said he was free to go. Ivan ushered Yao out of the small room. Hospitals were disgusting, Ivan thought. He always hated going to them because they smelled odd and there was dying and sickness everywhere. Someone was probably dying as he walked outside. That was too much for him to think about right now, though, he decided as he got in his car with Yao.
It's always best to push out reality whenever you can.
This is not what Yao had expected but somehow he wasn't all that surprised. I mean, he wasn't sure how much money Ivan actually made. So this could be a really nice house for what he makes. It was a nice house regardless, way nicer than any house he'd ever lived in and he'd only been in a few houses that were nicer. That sounded bad, because this was an upper-middle class house, this wasn't a mansion or anything, but Yao hadn't been a person with money. Same with his family and friends. Poor people stick together and wealthy people stick together. It wasn't un purpose, it's just how relations tended to work.
But now he was around Ivan, who had this really nice house and personality that was just so different from any persons he'd ever met. He looked around the house with a faint smile. He wasn't sure that Ivan knew how lucky he was to live in the house. Yao felt guilty after thinking that.
There's a rumor, a said to be truth that had been going around since there was a class system. Anyone that was higher than low-middle class had no real problems. All of their problems were petty because apparently all problems could be solved with money. But everyone has problems, and it would be surprising to hear that many wealthy people have it worse off than the poorest people who live in the smallest houses.
Despite all of Ivan's money, despite his nice house and his nice clothes and car, he couldn't bring his family back. Ivan's problems were just as real if not more real than anyone elses. Yao decided he would try to dissolve the class system for himself. He didn't want to think things like that about Ivan just because he himself was envious.
"So the kitchen is back there. Eat and drink what you want. I really don't care. There's the bathroom. There's the basement, but it's pretty useless to go down there. It's just for storage. Oh yeah, that's my cat. He's really fat, I know. But look how happy he is about it," Ivan said, pointing out different things in the house. Yao looked at the cat with a smile. He liked cats but he was never allowed to have one. He scratched its head gently. "Aw, he's so cute," Yao said, picking up the cat and following Ivan into the living room.
"The dining room is over there but it's pretty much useless unless it's a holiday or special occasion. You can go in there whenever you want, though." Ivan sat at his piano and yawned quietly. "This is the front room, living room, parlour, whatever you want to call it. You can come here whenever you want. You can touch the piano. Everyone likes to mess with instruments. I don't have a tv. I just use my laptop if I want to see something, but I prefer reading."
Yao could tell her prefered reading. There were books lining his walls. I mean, he liked to read, but Ivan must have loved it. Yao check the borders on all the books. He had a good section dedicated to books about the Soviet Union, which was sketchy but also intriguing. "Why do you have so many of these books on the Soviet Union?" He asked. He hesitated, but he was curious. Ivan looked up and laughed. "Not for why you think. Some are 1st editions, and I'm not going to get rid of a 1st edition, and then half of them were written by my parents before they died. It isn't because I believe in the Soviet Union. That entire situation was just . . . terrible. It shouldn't have happened."
Yao nodded and checked the books again. Sure enough, about a fourth of them said Braginski. "That's one of the only things that get to me about my parents. They wanted so badly to move here and they never got the chance," Ivan frowned and his eyes fixed on the piano again.
Yao pursed his lips. Did he really want to have this conversation right now? It was almost two in the morning, his body hurt, and he felt like he might pass out. But he was curious. And maybe he could never get Ivan to talk about this again. So he finally said, "How did they die?"
Ivan didn't look up. He did blink a few times, though, and his lips parted like he was going to say something, but he stopped and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry, I'm so sorry I-"
"Yao, sometimes you ask yourself, 'is it worth it? Is this something worth dying for?' And believe it or not, sometimes it is. The Soviet Union was bad. Really, really awful. There was no freedom of speech. But I think my parents thought it was necessary to inform others of what was happening there, and they just . . . took them. Maybe they're still alive. I really don't know. But what are the chances of that? Very little. It doesn't matter, though, because that was the past. That's some sad story meant for another day. The only thing that matters is what is happening now, and now it is very late, or very early, depending on how you look at it, and you need sleep."
Yao felt guilty for asking him about his family. It was clear that he no longer wanted to talk about it, and Yao didn't blame him. Ivan walked him upstairs and pointed more rooms out, then he came to one that he was supposed to stay in. It was good sized and very nice, though plain at the same time. Not that it bothered Yao. It was better than what he was used to.
"Hey Ivan, I'm really sorry about asking you about that," Yao said, looking down. Ivan smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "It's alright, Yao. Don't worry about it." With that, he began to walk out of the room. He only stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned around and looked down at Yao, who, despite the bruises, looked just as beautiful as he always did. His eyes still looked apologetic though and he wished Yao would stop feeling guilty about so many things that didn't matter as much as he thought they did. He stood up on his tiptoes and gave Ivan a soft kiss. It was the least he could do after everything. "Thank you," he murmured, his lips brushing against Ivans. The taller man smiled warmly and stroked Yao's cheek with the back of his hand, ignoring the way certain spots swelled under his touch from being bruised. He kissed the top of Yao's head, smoothed his hair, and turned to leave once again, but not before saying, "You're very welcome, Yao."
Part of him wanted to turn away, to stay with Yao tonight, but he didn't ever want to intrude, no matter how much he thought he'd snap if he didn't. So he forced his way down the hall to his own room. It was almost funny how eager he'd been to crawl into his bed and fall asleep earlier and how unappealing the idea was now. He did it, nonetheless. It was weird, though. The man he loved was sleeping under the same roof as he was and it would be so easy to go see him or sleep with him or anything along those lines. It was unreal, almost.
He wanted to feel like he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart truly, and of course he somewhat was doing that, but he had invited Yao to live with him for himself, too. How could he not take this opportunity? It was ideal, sent down just for him to take advantage of. What a guilty thought, though. But on the other hand, he would have done this for him if he wasn't attracted to Yao, too, or if Yao had been a woman. So maybe he shouldn't feel so guilty, after all.
