The rest of the time at the café was filled with small talk that I could barely focus on because Carmilla's hand has moved from my leg to my hand. It surprises me how unobservant the rest of the group it, I mean Carmilla and I are sitting pretty close to each other.
I'm nearly on her lap
But even if they did notice, they don't seem like the type to say anything, except Danny. She has been turning her attention towards Kirsch more than I thought, and maybe she's flirting with him.
It's almost like she's trying to make me jealous
I can't help but be distracted from my thoughts when Carmilla gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
It's almost like she could read my mind
I turn and give her a smile, which she returns.
Her smile makes my heart skip a beat
Because I'm totally not crushing on her
I feel her thumb brush over the top of my hand and my heart begins to race
Okay maybe I have a crush on my Carmilla
That doesn't make me gay…
Which I'm not
…
Okay maybe I am
Oh God, how am I going to tell my dad?
Before I can overthink myself into a panic, Carmilla removes her hand from mine and stands up. It takes me a moment to realize that everyone is getting ready to leave. I stand up quickly; trying to act as normal as possible.
How long was I thinking?
"See you in class hottie" Kirsch says to Carmilla, giving her a wink. "I'll meet you outside ginger hottie" He says to Danny. She rolls her eyes and waves him off. I can't help but to notice the look Danny gives Carmilla. It's the look of pure hatred, and I can't stop wondering what happened between them.
I'm going to ask both of them
And with that thought I say goodbye to Lafontaine and Perry and turn to face Danny.
"That was fun, thank you for inviting me, I mean us" I say gesturing towards Carmilla.
"Yeah, it was fun, even with her here" She says, glaring at her.
"You weren't too bad of company either Athena." Carmilla says coldly.
"Anyways, I'll see you in class Laura" She says turning towards the door. Before I can stop myself I reach over and grab her arm, turning her back around.
"Danny, I need to talk to you about something later" I say shyly.
"Yeah, is everything okay?" She asks, concerned.
"Yeah everything is fine! It's not urgent so I'll ask you in class" I say releasing her arm. She looks me over one more time before turning and heading out the door. I release the breath I found I was holding.
"What was that about?" Carmilla asks as we start heading to the door. She holds it open for me as we step outside. I look around, making sure Danny wasn't around.
"I also need to talk to you about something" I say looking at her. Her dark eyes remain as cool and calm as always but the way her body shifts shows that she's nervous.
"Did I do something wrong?" She asks after a moment.
"Oh God no!" I quickly say, causing her to relax a bit. "I just need to ask you something"
"That's more terrifying to hear" She says as we walk towards our dorm. I'm amazed at how cool and calm she can act even when she's scared.
I envy it
I envy her
"It's about Danny" I nearly whisper to her. Her body tenses up again, which makes me feel bad for wanting to know. She continues to look straight ahead.
Please don't shut down on me
"What about her?" She asks through an obviously clenched jaw.
"It's nothing important, just forget I said anything." I mumble.
"What about her?" She asks again, this time looking at me.
"What happened between you and her?" I ask after I take a moment to collect myself.
"She blames me for killing her brother." She says, looking ahead. I stop dead in my tracks at the mention of Danny's brother.
I remember her telling me he died
She was 15 at the time
The same as Carmilla…
"Why?" I say as I catch up with Carmilla who kept walking.
"Why do you think?" She says snarls at me through clenched teeth.
Dammit Carmilla, don't shut me out.
"I said let's forget about it. It doesn't matter okay?" I say back frustrated. Her dark eyes lock on to mine and for a second I swear I saw them flash red.
"I'd rather talk about this in our room." She says calmer than I expected.
"Carm, this isn't something we have to talk about"
"I'll tell you after a few drinks." She inhales deeply. "It's not something I can talk about sober." And with that we make our way back to the dorm in silence.
How can someone so beautiful be so damaged?
And how can she make being damaged so beautiful?
I don't understand her
But I want to understand everything about her
