Requested by: Megan Nichole

Requested by: Like-Vines-We-Intertwine for a holiday theme, so I figured we could make it a family dinner, holiday themed chapter

AN: Sorry it took so long. I'm not completely in love with the chapter which is why it took me so long to post. I kept trying to make it better, giving up and then coming back to it and this is the finished product. Oh well, Enjoy!


In Which Puck Goes To Dinner

Puck was sure if there was a hell on Earth; this right here was it. He was sitting at thanksgiving dinner with Rachel; his current girlfriend, Quinn; the girl he had inadvertently gotten pregnant, #1 and #2 daddy Berry; who were always super welcoming to him to a point where Puck considered that they actually had a crush on him, but he was a stud so it was completely understandable, his mother; whom Rachel still couldn't look in the eyes and his younger sister Hannah; who chattered endlessly about Zac Efron. Puck wasn't even sure who the hell Zac Efron was; but he already wanted to kick the guy's ass.

Of all the people in the room, Puck could not believe Quinn was here; though, she lived with the Berry's now, so he should have expected it. Quinn had become Rachel's new project, it was kind of freaking Puck out how they had gotten so close so fast; but they did spend a couple of days together in the hospital. In that time Quinn told Rachel that her parents had kicked her out after finding out she had been pregnant and; Rachel being Rachel, offered to let Quinn stay with her. This was Puck's worst nightmare. Quinn had agreed since she had nowhere else to go and she had also promised to lay off the name calling and pornographic drawing on bathroom walls stuff as well. School for the past couple of weeks had been awkward, not to mention full of slushie facials; for all of them but mostly Quinn and Puck. Luckily for Quinn and Puck, Rachel had thought ahead to bring spare outfits for both of them the first day it happened; Quinn and Puck now carried their own spare clothes every day to school. Finn was a sore point. He still came to Glee but he spent most of the time glowering at Quinn and Puck. He had apologised to Rachel, and she had forgiven him but so far no progress on the Quinn, Puck and Finn situation. Puck missed his best friend, but he would die before he told anyone that.

Rachel missed the camaraderie from when Glee had been united. Still it was thanksgiving and the holidays were coming up; Rachel was of the firm belief that after the holidays once everyone had some time to themselves that they would all make up and things would be as they once were. Of course Noah told her she was insane but he told her that on an almost daily basis so she tended to not really believe him. Right now she was enjoying spending time with her boyfriend and new best friend; not that Quinn had a choice in being her best friend but that was besides the point, Quinn was Rachel's one and only best friend. Rachel, however, was not fond of the glare Mrs Puckerman kept sending her way across the dinner table and kept her gaze fixed firmly on her potatoes.

"Isn't this nice?" Daddy #1 commented taking a dainty bite of his turkey smiling at everyone present.

Puck shoved a potato in his mouth and chewed furiously. Rachel nudged him, appalled by his lack of table manners and Quinn hid a smile at their 'married couple' behaviour. Over the past month or so Quinn had been able to observe the two and found them adorable. Puck was whipped when it came to Rachel, even though he tried to deny it.

"This is really good daddy," Rachel complimented Daddy #1 who chuckled, but looked pleased by her praise.

Under the table Rachel put her hand on Puck's thigh, wanting him to add his compliments to her father but Dianna saw the exchange and her eyes narrowed. All mothers believed that their sons were innocent, so when Dianna Puckerman saw her son in the closet with Rachel Berry a couple of months back; she automatically assumed it was all Rachel's idea. She thought Rachel was some wild girl, like the ones Puck always dated, which sort of explained her next sentence.

"So Rachel, have you and my son had sex yet?" Dianna asked casually and Quinn choked on a bread roll. Puck was trying to judge how far he would have to run to throw himself out of the window. Rachel blushed bright red and looked down at her plate.

"Don't worry Dianna, Joseph and I have already had 'the talk' with them," Daddy #2 interrupted seeing Rachel's discomfort at the change of conversation.

"Noah and I have not been intimate yet," Rachel spoke up though her voice was soft, her brown eyes looking at Puck willing him to jump into the conversation to defend her somehow, or at least tell his mother that she wasn't a wanton hussy; since everyone except Dianna Puckerman knew that Rachel Berry was a Gleek. Puck kept his eyes fixed firmly on his place. He was not setting off this bomb, it was best to pretend he had selected hearing.

"Good, abstinence is the best contraception," Dianna nodded approvingly and Daddy #2 placed a gentle hand on Puck's back. Puck silently cursed Rachel for making him sit next to her daddies. They liked touching each other way too much. Puck liked it when Rachel touched him, but she was about the only person he could stand.

"But if you must have sex please wear condoms," Daddy #2 encouraged patting his shoulder and Puck groaned softly. He raised his eyes to the sky and mouthed 'kill me now'. Quinn stifled a giggle.

"I hardly think this is appropriate dinner conversation," Rachel piped up feeling her face blush bright red hoping that everyone would follow the change of conversation but no one did.

"You are encouraging them to have sex," Dianna accused her daddies and Daddy #1 shook his head.

"Not encouraging, but we aren't naive enough to believe that they won't ignore what we say and do whatever they want," Daddy #1 explained his reasoning and Dianna shook her head.

"My Noah is a good boy, he's still a virgin," Dianna declared proudly and Rachel and Quinn both spat their drinks at each other across the table. Dianna eyed them both suspiciously and Rachel and Quin both coughed to hide their laughter.

"Mom, come on Hannah's at the table, do you have to bring up the V word?" Puck finally spoke up looking over at his sister who was obvious to the conversation, talking Quinn's ear off about some guy called Edward Cullen. He sounded like someone's grandpa so Puck decided to stick him on the list of people's asses he would be kicking.

"Honey you should be proud to be a virgin," Dianna said sweetly, and Puck figured now was as good a time as any to dash his mother's innocent view of him. As long as it got his mom to stop saying virgin he would tell her anything.

"Mom, I'm not a virgin, I haven't been for a long, long time."

There was a silence at the table as Dianna took in his admission, her mouth dropping open in shock. Daddy #2 looked over at Rachel.

"Rachel?" he whispered, almost afraid to know the answer and Rachel blushed.

"Yes daddy I'm still a virgin," Rachel said softly and both of her daddies looked relieved.

"Good girl," Daddy #1 congratulated her and Rachel was sure she lost her appetite.

Dianna Puckerman accepted the fact her son was a whore and smiled warmly at everyone except him. Puck knew he would be busted when he got home.

"Well, isn't this a lovely dinner," Dianna complimented the Berry's and Rachel's daddies murmured their agreement as the conversation moved to lighter topics.

Puck glared at his plate. Seriously the world better end right now, because if it didn't he would lose it and start pulling out whatever hair still remained on his head. Luckily Rachel took pity on him.

"Let's go sit outside Noah," Rachel nudged him with her leg and Puck jumped up and grabbed her hand dragging her to the front porch without even excusing themselves from the table. Rachel lectured him all the way outside about table etiquette and the proper way to excuse themselves from a dinner table, so Puck used his favourite way to shut her up. He kissed her senseless.


Later that night Rachel snuggled into Noah's arms as they sat on Rachel's front porch swing sipping lemonade. Inside Hannah was forcing Quinn to sit through Hannah Montana while their parents were drinking tea and coffee, celebrating the fact that their two children hadn't had sex with each other yet.

"So Noah, when are we going to have sex?" Rachel asked casually turning her face to look up at him.

Puck promptly spat his lemonade all over the front porch. Some of it landed on Rachel's hair and face and she grimaced and wiped her face. Puck didn't know what to say.

"We have been dating for a while and I know that you find me pleasing to the eye and you are forever making sexual innuendos but you haven't actually made any moves around me that would indicate that you are thinking about taking our relationship to the next level," Rachel said this almost mechanically and Puck still didn't trust himself to speak. Here was his girlfriend basically asking him when he wanted to destroy her V plate and defile her in all the ways he had dreamed about. He felt his ego inflate until Rachel added, "Quinn says that you are a very talented lover,"

"You two talk about me?" Puck asked in disbelief.

Puck was sure there had to be some sort of rule where you couldn't talk about sex with the girl your new boyfriend had once gotten pregnant; not that Rachel Berry followed any rules. Neither did he come to think of it; maybe that's why they were so perfect for each other.

"Of course, I was curious about sex, particularly with you, and so I asked Quinn for her honest opinion of your performance, and she confirmed that you lived up to your reputation," Rachel explained quite calmly and Puck pulled her back against him so that she was leaning against his chest. He tried not to feel intimidated by the fact that they gossiped about him, but just the thought of them nitpicking his performance made him super nervous.

"Babe if you are ready, then I'm ready to rock your world," Puck assured her quite seriously, then he shrugged, "But if you aren't ready, I'm cool with that as well."

Rachel was silent for a long time.

"I think I am ready," she told him but her voice wasn't firm enough for Puck. He didn't want her to regret anything that happened between them.

"Tell me when you know," Puck told her, emphasising the 'know' with a kiss atop her head, and then he grinned into her hair adding lewdly, "Until then, I'm happy to pleasure you in all other ways."

Rachel gave a laugh and hugged him grateful for his understanding.

"I will inform you as soon as I am ready," she promised him and Puck had to chuckle.

With Rachel he knew that when she did finally tell him she was ready she would give him instructions on how he was to approach her and when and where the sex would happen. He half expected to receive a spreadsheet to his email indicting all the times she would be open to his advances. Those crazy things were what he loved most about her.

"Also baby, please don't talk about me with Quinn, it makes me nervous," Puck pleaded sheepishly. He was uncomfortable enough by the fact that Rachel was sharing a room with Quinn; he really didn't need to know they were gossiping about him.

"Don't be nervous, I have nothing to compare you to, except kissing," Rachel assured him and Puck's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew Rachel had never had a boyfriend so Puck didn't know who else she could have kissed unless...no, no there is no way she kissed Finn...right?

"Who else have you kissed?"

"Finn of course."

"Finn? You kissed Finn?" Puck asked jealously and Rachel patted him on the thigh comfortingly, turning her head to wink at him.

"Don't worry Noah, you are much better."

Puck was slightly appeased, but made it his mission to kiss her on the porch until she forgot Finn's name. There was no harm in making sure she knew how much better he was right?


AN: Hehe I love parent talks. Well I'm all out of ideas for this so unless I get more, this is just gonna hang like this for a while.

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