End's Beginning – Chapter 9
With one hand on Sheldon's elbow, Amy turned and reaching behind her, pulled a chair over and eased Sheldon down into the seat.
"Sheldon, look at me," Amy said as she stood before him, putting both hands on his shoulders. Doing as he was ordered, Sheldon slowly raised his head and looked at her with a stunned expression, tears welling in his blue eyes.
Amy lowered her voice to a whisper. "Now listen to me and listen to me good. You are not responsible for this. You are responsible for starting a fight, quite likely out of jealousy, and failing to support a friend. But beyond that, nothing. Whatever happened after Leonard left the apartment was his decision and his decision only."
"But I just feel … I just feel …," Sheldon struggled to find the right word to describe his whirling feelings, "… bad … I just feel so bad."
"I know. But this is an emotionally charged situation for our little group. We're facing a significant stressor that we've never encountered before. And they're," Amy nodded, indicating the dispersed group standing behind her, "going to need someone to blame for this. Leonard is gravely injured and they can't be mad at him. They won't be mad at him. You will be their most easy and convenient target. And that's fine. If you're the pillow they need to punch for their displaced anger, so be it."
Sheldon touched a fingertip to his eye. A tear slid down his hand.
"I know it doesn't feel like this right now but know in your heart you had nothing to do with this."
Sheldon lowered his eyes and shook his head dismissively.
"OK. Now I'm going to try to repair our little group. When I call, you come."
Still not meeting her gaze, Sheldon just nodded.
Like a general approaching D-Day, Amy looked strategically around the room. Bernadette was sitting in a chair while Penny was standing in a corner by herself, facing the wall. Both were crying. Howard and Raj, standing near Bernadette, were hugging one another. After a long embrace, they pulled apart. Howard was speaking softly to Raj as the astrophysicist dabbed at his eyes as if he were crying. Amy glanced behind her to where Sheldon sat, staring at the floor looking pale and lost.
Although her heart spoke clearly for Penny, the most advantage would be gained by approaching the Howard/Raj/Bernadette contingent first. They were the largest aggregation. And if Penny's seemingly charged acrimony and hostility towards Sheldon (and to lesser degree, herself) did not abate, then Bernadette's 'swing status' between Penny and the Amy/Sheldon group could prove to be invaluable in repairing the strained relationship.
Straightening her cardigan, Amy approached the Howard/Raj/Bernadette party slowly. Sheldon may have started the split with his fight with Leonard, but she provided the fracture with her North Pole comment. Time to make amends.
"Howard, Raj."
Both men turned to her with varying shades of pain, anger, and hostility on their faces. Tears glistened in Raj's eyes.
"Please accept my deepest apology for my earlier comment. Tonight, I have been amply reminded that there are two sides to every story and I never tried to hear yours regarding your time with Sheldon at the North Pole. This has been a valuable reminder for me. What I was told me I took at face value and never bothered to question. I can only imagine what you went through was exceedingly trying. Again, please accept my apology for the myopic view I had of your situation. And when I'm able to do so, I'll apologize to Leonard as well."
The hard looks on Howard's and Raj's faces softened.
"Why thank you, Amy. That was very kind of you. You're right. It was very difficult for us on the expedition. And for what it's worth, Raj, Leonard, and myself have apologized to Sheldon numerous times … not for sabotaging anything … but in the way that we had mislead him."
Raj was nodding in agreement. Then he added, "Thank you, Amy. That was very generous of you."
To her complete surprise, Howard then Raj, drew her into a comforting hug. Bernadette, watching the entire exchange with wide eyes, just cried. Then she quietly stood and hugged Amy too.
Amy was the first to pull from the embrace. She looked at Bernadette. "Come with me and let's get Penny. Hopefully we can get her to talk and she can us what happened."
Penny was still huddled in the corner, facing the wall. Amy put a comforting hand to her back and rubbed it gently.
"Penny?" She asked softly. And to Amy's relief, that was all that was needed.
Penny turned and fell into Amy's and Bernadette's waiting arms, sobbing painfully. Both women held her tight and, rubbing her back, spoke soothingly to her.
"It's OK. We're here."
"That's it. Cry. Just get it all out."
"It … was … terrible. Absolutely … awful," Penny rambled brokenly, in sobbing gasps. "I'll never … be able … to … forget this."
"I know. I know. But talking will help," Amy said as she gently led Penny from the corner and guided her to the spot in the middle of the room where Bernadette had been sitting.
Howard drew Penny into a warm hug as she approached. He spoke to her as they embraced. "Penny. I'm so sorry you went through this. Are you up to telling us what happened? It's a little confusing and we're trying to piece it together."
Penny nodded as embrace ended and as she turned, she found herself in Raj's arms. "Penny, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? You're not hurt or anything?"
"No. I'm fine … thank … you, Raj," Penny said as she sat down in chair.
Amy glanced over at Sheldon. He still hadn't budged. He sat by himself, staring at the floor, in the chair that she had pulled over for him. Behind him, the television was still on, showing the scenes from the University. The camera had focused up close on a dead rat as the reporter, with some asinine commentary, poked at the carcass with a stick.
"Sheldon, "Amy called. "Come over here. Penny's going to tell us what happened."
Pulled from his thoughts, Sheldon dazedly looked up at the group surrounding Penny. Howard and Raj were busy pulling chairs around so they all could sit. Bernadette was stroking Penny's arm and was speaking to her softly. Only Amy was looking at him expectantly as she, not too subtly, nodded her head towards the group. Not that he was adroit in picking up on body language cues, but even he could tell this one meant 'get over here now, Mister.' Looking at his friends, he tried to judge if the group still held him at the same level of animosity they had directed at him earlier. Again, not that he could tell but it did seem to level off considerably.
After making a stop at a nearby water cooler, Sheldon slowly approached his friends.
He held the small cup of cool water out to Penny.
"Social protocol dictates that when a friend is upset, you bring them a hot beverage. The water cooler dispenses hot water but as I have nothing to steep in it, like tea, or dissolve in it, like bullion or a pixie stick, I thought that, just this one time, cool water would be more appropriate. Maybe it can also serve to soothe your throat as you sound a bit hoarse."
Amy smiled and slowly nodded her head, obviously condoning the gesture.
Penny took the offered cup. "Thank you, Sheldon." The angry hurt that she had directed at him earlier was still in her eyes. She drank the water.
"Penny, what happened?"
And the friends listened, riveted.
"It was awful … just terrible. I met Leonard in the parking lot … he said he had a fight with Sheldon," Penny glanced up at physicist standing above her. She returned her gaze to the group. "He said he was going to finish up some work at his office … run calculations through the mainframe or something like that, then we were going to get something to eat … he showed me his office and then he set his computer to accept the mainframe stuff and … he left. He wasn't gone long when I heard him yell to me. He said to get out of the building … I didn't believe it … it was creepy there and I thought it was a joke … then the fire alarm went off and then a few seconds later, there was an explosion. The whole building shook … smoke and dust were everywhere … I took off running … I saw where the explosion happened … the whole corridor was blocked off where the ceiling came down and the flames were shooting up to the second floor. But I was lost ... I was running in circles ... then a woman from the cleaning staff found me and led me outside.
"Did you see Leonard again? How did you know to come here?" Howard asked gently.
As Penny had been talking, she was animated and her tears flowed freely, and she was able to look at her friends. But now, at Howard's question, her demeanor changed. Her face crumpled and putting her hand to over her mouth, she fell forward in chair, racked with heartbreaking sobs.
Warm hands were on her back and comforting words floated around her.
"Penny, it will help if you talk about it."
"I know it's painful, but please tell us. We can help."
Penny just nodded her head. It took several minutes for her to compose herself. Her words now came out in hiccoughing gasps.
"It was … terrible … Beatriz took me outside … and I went to find … Leonard … I saw him … I saw him … he was kneeling … beside the wall … I ran … I ran … but I didn't get there … in time … he was screaming … my name and … then … he went back into the building …" Penny fell forward in the chair again, " … he was … screaming my name …"
"Oh, Penny!"
"Jesus! He ran back in!"
Penny nodded. Her words were a whisper. "They carried him out … covered in ashes … they had to put … electricity … through his heart … a bone … was sticking out of his thigh … it was terrible … just terrible ... he just laid there …"
As Penny sat crumpled in the chair, Bernadette threw herself across Penny's back and held her as they both cried. Howard and Raj were embracing once again as Raj openly cried. Amy's hand covered her mouth as her tears fell for her friends. But despite her pain, she was still surprised when Sheldon turned her around, and wrapping his arms around her, lowered his head into the crook of her shoulder. She felt his tears on her skin.
She returned his embrace.
It took several minutes for them to compose themselves. And then much to Sheldon's dismay, in the ultimate hippie expression, there was a group hug. And he was included. Whispered words of comfort, caring, and concern were passed from one to the other. And as Sheldon felt his heart warm he realized that despite the hippie-dippieness of it all, there was comfort to be found in the company of your friends. Pain eased, if only just a little. It didn't matter who was the smartest or what one's educational level might be. Or who was the most likely to win a Nobel Prize. In their shared pain, they were all equals. Maybe there was something to be said for human contact after all.
No matter how unsanitary.
…..
Raj found tissues on one of tables and the box was passed around. When the box had ended its way around the circle of friends, it was nearly empty.
Everyone was now composed and just waiting for some news.
But Howard was antsy. Watching the news feed from the University, Penny's story created more questions than answers.
Not wanted to cause her any more distress, Howard approached her cautiously.
"Penny? Can I ask you a few questions?"
"Sure," she shrugged. "Anything."
"I'm just curious. How did you get to the hospital?"
"A bunch of us who were at the scene were rounded up by the police and the detectives asked us questions. They asked us if we had seen anything out of the usual and all that. Then I heard them say there was a second victim taken to the hospital who was alert and they wanted to question him. The detective knew I wanted to get to the hospital, so he offered me a ride."
"Did you see anything unusual?"
"No. Nothing. But there was one thing and I did tell the detectives this. When we first entered the building, Leonard and I heard what sounded like two people having an argument. I couldn't hear what they were saying, just raised voices, but then, someone laughed and it ended. That's it. I didn't hear anything more and didn't see anyone. Except for Beatriz, you know, after."
"And Leonard said he was going to the mainframe computer?"
"Yep."
"Sheldon, Raj come here. This just doesn't make sense. Look at the building," Howard pointed to the television. "The explosion happened in the Biology/Pharmacology Wing. If Leonard was going to run calculations, the mainframe is in the complete opposite direction."
"Howard, you're right," Sheldon added. "If Leonard was going to the computer, the path from his office never would have brought him near the Biology Department."
"Not even close," Raj added. "I wonder what happened? Why was he even there?"
"Penny, you said Leonard 'set his computer to accept the mainframe stuff,'" Sheldon asked. "Just what did he do with his computer? Do you remember?"
Penny tried to remember the tiny detail. "He … ah …" Penny closed her eyes as she tried to prod her memory. "He opened his computer, went through some screens and hit a button on the keyboard."
"That's it? That's not how you run information from the mainframe," Raj added.
"I don't know. That's what he said and that's what he did."
"Curiouser and curiouser," Sheldon said, quoting Alice in Wonderland. "Leonard you little dickens, what were you up to? You know, he's not that complicated a fellow. It should be fairly easy to deduce what he was doing."
"OK. What do we know? He was in a part of the building where he didn't need to be and he wasn't running calculations," Raj summarized.
"No," Sheldon corrected. "He obviously wasn't running calculations, so he didn't need to be at the computer lab. He needed to be in the Biology Department. What is in the Biology Department that he could possibly need?"
"Oh my, God!" Howard paled and putting a hand to his forehead, shook his head. "I know what it is."
Everyone spoke at once.
"What? Howard! What is it?"
"Tell us!"
"What was Leonard doing?"
"Penny, you said that after Leonard ran the calculations you were going to get something to eat?"
"Yes. Howard! What is it?"
"This is so sad. Like Sheldon said 'he's not that complicated a fellow'. In Leonard's mind, he had a date with Penny and he was going to the vending machines."
"What vending machines," Penny asked.
"In the Biology Department there are vending machines that sell personal care items. He was probably going to get 'spruced up' for your date."
"Oh my God!" Penny yelled and fell back into her chair. She thought her reservoir of tears had dried up. Not so. The heartbreaking sobs returned as Amy and Bernadette held her tight. "All this! All this! And all he was trying to do was look nice for me?!"
"Maybe so," Howard offered. "I don't know. It's just a guess."
"It's good guess though," Sheldon whispered to Howard.
Raj nodded in agreement.
Penny looked up at Amy and Bernadette. "My heart is breaking! I don't think I can take anymore of this!"
"Shhh. Its all right," Amy soothed.
"That might not be the case," Bernadette added. "Howard's just guessing. That's all. When we get the chance, we'll ask Leonard himself."
Still doubled and crying in the chair, Penny just nodded.
Just then, a man wearing scrubs and an operating room cap entered the room balancing several plastic cups stacked on one another in his hands as well as multiple packages of crackers wrapped in cellophane cradled in his forearms. He was solidly built and tall, a little more that Sheldon's height with light brown that peeked out from under the cap. Horn-rimmed glasses framed his youthful face.
"Is this the family of Leonard Hofstadter?"
"Yes. Well, friends. None of Leonard's family are here," Sheldon corrected.
Still artfully balancing the cups, the man made his way to where the pale and crying friends of Leonard Hofstadter were all clustered. Amy came forward to help relieve him of some of the cups and the crackers. The man pulled one of the end tables towards the middle of the chairs and he and Amy deposited the crackers and drinks there.
"I'm Dr. Gaithers," he said smiling as he extended his arm and shook hands with everyone as introductions were made. "Maureen said there was a group of you here. It's nice to see. Surprisingly, we don't get to see this much. It's usually just one or two family members waiting."
He indicated the scattered pile of juices and crackers on the table. "These are for you. I'd thought we'd just have a little bite to eat as we talk."
From his experience, Dr. Gaithers always found that it was helpful to always have a little food, some protein and carbohydrates, as he delivered bad news. Often friends and family, in their despair, wouldn't eat and end up getting dehydrated, suffering low blood sugars, and fainting. And then there's another patient being admitted to the hospital. The simple gifts of juices and crackers could be life saving.
"Please. Gather around. Let's all get something to eat, some sustenance. I've brought apple and cranberry juice as well as cheese crackers and peanut butter crackers."
Pulling a chair up to the small table, Dr. Gaithers took a seat. Reaching to the table, he took a cranberry juice and a packet of crackers.
"So, all of you are Dr. Hofstadter's friends? No family here?"
Sheldon spoke. "No. His mother and father are accomplished researchers and are currently in different parts of the world. His mother, a neurobiologist and psychiatrist, is currently working with orphaned children in Romania. His father, an anthropologist, is on assignment in South America. I thought I would notify them both when we had a clearer picture of what's happening."
As Sheldon was speaking, Dr. Gaithers watched the group and made sure that every member had taken something, whether it was a cracker or some juice. Satisfied, he spoke.
"Well, as you know, Dr. Hofstadter suffered a routine blast injury. Now when I say routine, I don't mean to minimize any of his injuries. They are quite severe and substantial. When I say routine, what I mean is we haven't encountered anything unusual, nothing we didn't already expect to find going in to his surgery. Let me address the surgical issues first.
A victim in an explosion suffers causes multisystem injuries. The blast front always affects air-filled structures in the body, such as the inner ear, lungs, and gastrointestinal tract. And this is what we have found. His inner ears have ruptured as well as his lung and bowel."
Cries arose from the group.
"Now this is nothing that we can't correct. The ears will usually heal themselves without any intervention but we will certainly monitor this. As for his lung, we have placed a chest tube that is allowing the lung to re-expand. And given time, that should heal. As for the bowel, we are doing a resection, removing the damaged segments. I'm hopeful we can avoid a colostomy. In addition, there are a broken arm and leg. The arm will be set with hardware and should heal nicely. The leg, well let me just say we're trying to save it. It was a compound fracture where the femur exited the skin. There were ruptured veins. It's a severe and dirty wound and very difficult to heal. I've called in a vascular surgeon and we're hopeful, for now, we can restore circulation and avoid amputation. But there will be multiple surgeries on the leg. Those are the surgical issues. Now for the medical ones. There's the underlying asthma and now smoke inhalation over that. In addition, there has been kidney damage. There will be dialysis, as a matter of fact, Dr. Hofstadter is on it as we speak. We put a catheter in his chest to facilitate this. And again, we are hopeful that this is just a temporary intervention."
Dr. Gaithers looked at the stunned group. "Is there anything I can answer?"
"What are Leonard's chances of surviving all this?"
"I can't say. Right now, he's critical, but stable. Anything can happen. But I do know that he is basically a healthy young man with a large group of supportive friends who obviously care for him for very much. Your love and support will go a long, long way."
"How long will he be in the hospital?"
"Months."
"Is the surgery almost over? Can we see Leonard soon?"
"I think we can expect at least another nine hours for this first surgery, so no, we're not even half-way through yet. After he's in the ICU, you can visit for a short while. The nurses will need to get him settled first. I'll be caring for Dr. Hofstadter surgically. I've asked Dr. Chiang to oversee his medical care. And Dr. Chiang is brilliant. One of the finest doctors I've had the pleasure to work with."
Dr. Gaithers stood to leave. He reached into his back pocket and handed out a pile of cards and passed them to the group. "If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. My hours are all around the clock but I try to get back to everyone within four hours."
A chorus of 'thank you doctor' sounded at his back as he left the room.
Except for the hum of the vending machines and the low volume on the television, the room was quiet. No one spoke, no one cried. They all just stared straight ahead, not making eye contact, sitting or standing in stunned silence, hardly breathing.
Bernadette was the first to move. Going through her pocketbook, she retrieved the pink pearl Rosary Beads she received on her First Holy Communion. A born Catholic, she did not need the mnemic of the beads to tell the rosary. It always brought her comfort just to hold them in her hand. Leaving her friends and moving closer to the windows that opened up to the star filled sky, she sat. She called upon her namesake, Saint Bernadette and the Blessed Virgin Mary asking them to keep Leonard safe. After kissing the Crucifix at the end of the beads, she blessed herself with the sign of the cross and started to softly pray.
Howard was the next to join her. Taking Bernadette's left hand, he sang softly in Hebrew the Mi Sheberah, the traditional Jewish prayer for cure, spiritual healing, blessing and restoration.
Their two voices lifted heavenward.
And then a third voice joined them in prayer. Penny took Bernadette's right hand and joined her in saying the Our Father. Their hands clasped together around the rosary beads.
Amy's was the fourth voice to softly fill the room. Taking Penny by the right hand, she joined Howard, signing in Hebrew, the healing words of their shared religion. Surprised, Howard shared a smile with her as they prayed.
Raj was next, taking Howard's left hand, he chanted in Hindi the Maha Mritunjaya, prayers for health and healing, to the Lord Dhanvantari of Medicine and Health.
Sheldon was last, taking both Raj's left hand and Amy's right. He joined Bernadette and Penny in the shared prayers of their Christian faith.
Their circle complete, their multi-language and multi-faith prayers swirled around the room, bringing solidarity, peace, hope, and healing to their devastated group.
