A/N: I'm so very sorry for the long wait! This chapter took a lot out of me, for some reason, and I'm still not completely happy with it. The chapters may be a while in coming, because I'm trying to decide where to take this story. In the meantime, this chapter is just a filler, like one of those bland, boring days that everybody has now and again.
Chapter 9: The End of the Tunnel
Snape's class is hell on earth. Quite literally. He spends the whole class either lecturing us or letting us make fools of ourselves practicing. Just as the bell is about to ring, he makes a point of assigning loads of homework.
You'd think he wants us to hate him.
There's another reason I dislike his class, but it's silly enough that I haven't mentioned it to anybody else. The way he talks in class- it makes me feel as though he doesn't exactly disapprove of the Dark Arts. There's a weird, disturbing parallel between Snape's attitude and the way Harry used to talk to us in the DA. Harry clearly hates the Dark Arts, but he definitely respects what they can do.
I blink, wondering if I had actually entertained that notion that there was any similarity between Harry and Snape. My reasoning skills are obviously going out the window.
I just have Divination next, and then I can make an appearance at dinner, slump up to Gryffindor Tower, and collapse. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, which galvanizes me into walking a little faster.
Lavender hung back at the end of DADA, no doubt waiting for Ron. She hasn't mentioned liking him, but after 6 years of friendship, I know her like the back of my hand. I wonder, does she know me?
As I stagger up the last flight of stairs, I pause by a decorative mirror to catch my breath and scrutinize the girl inside it. Reflecting on a reflection…how shallow, the voice whispers.
I don't want to believe it. I don't want to listen to the blasted voice and its acidic insinuations. So why is it that I can't help but feel cut by its words?
Maybe because you know I'm right, it murmurs. I'm part of you, your reality check when your dreams carry you away. I'll always be with you, it hisses.
Needless to say, this does not boost my flagging morale.
I muster the energy I need to climb up to the Divination classroom, making sure to carefully choose a seat in the right place- in the front, yet in a corner and near a window. In this class, at least, Lavender sits with me and me alone. I'm selfishly happy to have my friend to myself, even if all we're doing is palmistry and chatting about star charts.
Professor Trelawney is thrilled with my predictions- I show the signs of a true Inner Eye! For a moment, I catch Lavender eyeing me oddly. Is she jealous? Jealous of me, the blimp? The very idea is laughable.
As soon as we are dismissed, I jump up and rush back to the dorm. I don't hesitate to divest myself of my heavy books and flop down on my bed. My stomach rumbles loudly, but thankfully there's nobody around to hear it.
I sigh with bliss as the softness of my bed envelops me. It's so warm and comfortable, and I'm so bloody tired… a nap wouldn't hurt. I kick off my clunky uniform shoes, draw the heavy velvet drapes, and curl up under the covers, letting my mind drift.
Here, cocooned in a hazy red world, I can unwind. Suddenly, all my problems- my fatness, my hunger, school and friends- fade away. It's as if nothing outside is real, as if I can go to sleep and it will all wash away.
I wish I could go to sleep forever.
Later, though I don't know how much- an hour? two? I hear footsteps in the hall and the door creaks open. Bedsprings creak and a dull thud tells me that whoever it is has unceremoniously dropped her books on the floor. Certainly not Hermione, then. A soft sigh; then footsteps again. Suddenly, a thump makes me jump.
"Ouch!" I hear Sal exclaim. "Ugh! What's this? Oh, I can't stand it when Lavender leaves her bloody shoes all over the place!" She slams the door unceremoniously on the way out.
It must be time for dinner, and I know I should probably go down to the Great Hall. Somehow, though, I'm too lethargic to move. It's not as if I need the extra calories.
I fall asleep without moving, still in my uniform.
