"Carla," shouted Leanne grinning at her best friend as she twirls her newly unboxed bridesmaid dress around, "These dresses are magnificent! If this is what your father is forking out for the bridesmaid dresses I can hardly imagine what your gown will be like."
"I don't know," says Carla she is exhausted from the last couple of days unable to sleep or since Liam returned. She can't help but think about him and now she found herself flip flopping between emotions. Should she go through with the wedding or not? Her father was forking out so much money and her mother was near obsession with every little detail.
"Just imagine how extravagant the wedding dress will be Leanne," croons Sharon before snaring down at her daughter, "Oh try and make an effort Carla darling. You're amongst civilized people not trapped in some obsolete jungle in the middle of god knows where."
"Your mother is right," says Leanne's mother taking a sip of tea and helping herself to some biscuits the housekeeper has set out, "The way your behaving is like this whole wedding is a death sentence. That's not the way to go Carla darling, you should be looking at Mr. Antony Gordon as a godsend! A savior if we are to be honest."
"He is her savior," Sharon's cold green eyes bore into her daughter. Again she is slighting Liam at any subtle opportunity, "Tony is an absolute angel, a true gentleman."
Carla was disgusted and wishes to tell her mother that she is wrong and knows nothing about her feelings. She knows nothing of the countless ways Liam had saved her time and time again, showing her in the time before Paul had died how much she was worth. That confidence was the greatest of gifts she could have received and it killed her that Liam would not let her to the same for him.
"How do I look?" says Leanne's younger sister Eva flouncing into the room wearing her bridesmaid dress. It is a pale gold color with bead adornments coming all the way down past the chest, "Is it too tight mother?"
"Oh it looks fine," says Sharon answering for Stella, "Eva you've always had such a lovely figure. Very nice and delicate, just the way a woman should be."
Another slight, Carla let out another long overdue sigh, Her mother really should just tell her flat out that she thought her own daughter to be very fat and skip the theatrics. It would save plenty of time and energy in Carla's opinion.
"You look simply stunning Eva," Carla smiles up at the girl. She was just around Rob's age and they were fast becoming an item. Carla would be kind to Eva as long as she was always nice to her brother
"Robert is going to be at a lost for words when he sees you!" smiles Stella draining her tea cup, "Oh come here you!" she says holding out her arms welcoming Eva for a hug.
Carla always envied how loving Leanne's mother was with her daughters. Stella could be rather annoying and noisy but she loved her daughters to a fault, no one could make her utter a bad word about either one of them. She was the complete opposite of Carla's mother Sharon in that regard. Carla watches as Stella adorns both of Eva's cheeks with kisses before letting her daughter go.
"Oh Sharon one day it will be my little Eva and your little Robert getting married."
"Not before he goes to Cambridge though!" Sharon announces helping herself to some tea she sits down right next to Carla and begins pouring it into her tea cup in the most elegant of manners, "My Robert well be going to Cambridge before he makes any commitments. It's an absolute must."
Carla knew for a fact that Robert didn't really want to go to Cambridge. Her brother often confided in her that he would like to travel for a few years before pursuing an education. He had also told her more than once he wanted to go to America, possibly Harvard when it came to university. They had a distant cousin or uncle who was an alma mater there so getting in would be easy. Carla wasn't going to let their mother push Robert around like she so often did her daughter.
"You'll have to wait on a wedding for a long time Eva because our Robert wants to see the world before he settles down in school," Carla smirks at her mother satisfied with her momentarily speechless demeanor. It was not often that Sharon had one of these reactions.
"Well this is certainly news to me," she simpers, "But rather stupid because your father wouldn't hear of it."
Stella gives a sigh of relief for she had been holding her breath in shock at the possibility of her and her greatest of friends children not being able to get married. Helping herself to yet another biscuit she says, "Well boys these days, they always get such foolish notions in their heads."
"Not any more so than girls," Sharon glares at Carla letting her know she has crossed a dangerous line, "When girls get foolish ideas in their heads it can only lead to bad things."
"Well you don't have to worry about that now Mrs. Donovan," says Leanne attempting to break the ice. She gives Carla a sympathetic look.
"I suppose not Leanne."
"Now," says Stella glad to have that whole discussion out of the way, "I've heard Dorothy Sutherland bragging on and on about her Maria dating some Italian aristocrat. Apparently he has a yacht."
"Antony and the Gordon's have two," says Sharon sipping her tea through pursed lips watching in delight as Stella, Leanne, and Eva's jaws drop at such a revelation. Carla hated her mothers bragging so much, "And he has six homes, two in Britain, one in Spain, a posh little apartment in Paris and might I add a lovely little chalet in Switzerland. Oh and before I forget a lovely little villa in Italy. Dorothy Sutherland can stomach all that and come back for seconds."
"I had no idea Sharon! He's so rich!" Stella squeals gleaming at Carla, "Oh my goodness Carla, your life will be an absolute dream. Can you imagine such luxury?"
"Yes," says Carla not even bothering to pretend she was excited, "But money doesn't mean everything. It doesn't buy happiness—"
"Oh pssh posh! Who needs happiness when you have two yachts? Is the home Spain luxurious? I imagine it must be in Barcelona! I must receive invitations Carla. I am like a dear aunt."
"It is Stella," Sharon says, "Carla will have her honeymoon starting off in Barcelona. And at one point Antony intends to take her away out to sea on his yacht. They won't have any distractions there," she says pointedly once again sneering at her daughter, "I suppose he'll want to stop in Greece. His cousin has a lovely villa there and will want to meet the blushing bride. I don't care how the honeymoon goes as long as my daughter returns in delicate condition."
"Oh yes that is important. Has Antony said how many children he wants?"
"I imagine at least six. He only has one brother so he has expressed to Carla's father plenty of times that he wants many many children."
"Will you excuse me mother?" says Carla curtly. She has had enough of this conversation. The fact that her mother would even allude to sex and what Antony expected of her was mean spirited enough. She just needed to get away. The thought of being with Tony in that way would take some getting used to.
"Why?" says Sharon raising her eyebrow and setting down her tea, "What's wrong with you now?"
"Nothing," says Carla losing patience but it was obvious her mother wasn't going to let her leave without good reason, "I am feeling ill mother. Perhaps it is the topic of conversation," she slowly rises getting ready to bid farewell to Stella, Eva, and Leanne.
"You'll be sure to take your medicine," says Sharon, "If your ill I shall I have to give doctor Foster another call."
"That won't be necessary mother," says Carla. She didn't enjoy the visits one bit, even if she was beginning to relax around him. She just didn't enjoy anything anymore.
"Go and take your medicine Carla," commands Sharon, "And come back immediately. Stella will want to see the gorgeous gift Tony gave you at the engagement gala. And she'll want to hear all about the wedding dress designs. I had to get down on my knees and practically beg her father to let Lucile in London design it. So come back right away young lady"
"Yes mother," Carla says again resigned to all her mothers' authority. She just can't bear it in this room anymore. It was suffocating. Quickly she removes herself from the situation running up the stairs to her room. All she wants to do is cry. She couldn't breathe she was panicking so much. Her life was falling apart and she felt powerless to stop it. All it ever seemed to be nowadays was wedding this and wedding that. No one would give it a rest and all she wanted was a rest, some time to clear her head and get her thoughts together. She needed to see him again she needed to see Liam.
Liam was the only one who would be able to relate; who wouldn't completely misunderstand the turmoil going on inside her head. She felt that he was the only person that knew her, he knew how to make her better, he knew who she was. None of the other people mattered.
There was a knock at the door and before Carla can even utter the words to allow for an invitation, Leanne peeks her head through on the other side.
"Everything all right?" she says smiling at Carla, "only your mother sent me to check on you. She says the medicine shouldn't take so long—"
"Oh," says Carla quickly grabbing for the vile Doctor Foster had given her. She had completely forgotten about the medicine.
"What is that stuff anyways?" says Leanne watching as Carla unscrews the bottle.
"For an intestinal infection," Carla mutters, "But you'll have to ask my father what it is. Mr. Foster says medicine is of no concern for ladies."
"He's right about that," Leanne laughs settling down on Carla's bed and making herself comfortable.
She watches Carla as she takes a few drops on the tip of her tongue swallowing it immediately. It was a bitter concoction but Carla wouldn't complain as long as it made her intestines better.
"So?" says Leanne awkwardly.
"So?" Carla says glancing at her friend pointedly. She knew that tone well. Leanne wanted to pry about Liam.
"Have you seen him since the gala?" Leanne finally blurts out.
"No," says Carla, "You know I haven't. My mother hasn't let me leave the house all week. It is wedding stuff everyday and now Tony's mother is insisting on dinners three times a week and of course my mother is all for it. Every time I leave this house I have an escort making sure I don't go off and do anything stupid."
"As in Liam," Leanne smirks.
"You're vulgar!" says Carla glancing into the mirror and examining her figure. She still can't believe her mother thought her body was fat. Did this mean she would have to start losing weight? Would the dress shop have to get new measurements? She blushes too at the thought of Liam, imagining what it would be like to sleep with him. They had never actually gone that far because they had wanted to wait until they were married, they were supposed to be the ones getting married…this whole situation was killing her.
"You know you want to," says Leanne, "You're not fooling me."
"Not like I can," Carla sighs, "Or even want to. I love Tony."
"Yeah, yeah. You love Tony and I'm the Queen of Sheba."
"Shut up Leanne," says Carla getting flustered. She just didn't want to talk about it anymore.
"Fine," says Leanne smirking, "I was going tell you all the places I've been seeing him. But if you rather I not—"
"What?" says Carla unable to stop herself, "Where have seen him?"
"Mostly when he is just doing boring an uneventful stuff. Like escorting his pregnant sister around town while she does errands. I mean isn't that what her fiancé Dean is for?"
"What else?" says Carla ignoring the last part, "Where else has he been?"
"He has tea with his mother and sister everyday at the India Tea room. And I heard from my ex Jamie Baldwin that he is going to start working at his father and uncles textile company. Him and Jamie went out for drinks together, and supper."
"What was he like? Was he happy?" Carla now flounces over to the bed to eat up her friend's information, "What did Jamie say?"
"Only that he was normal I suppose. His eyes were happy, like when he smiled he actually smiled with eyes as well as his lips. Jamie figures he is over the mourning period now. Which I think is good because he was beginning to be a downer."
"Leanne! He lost his brother. Have a heart."
"Just saying," Leanne huffs before continuing, "Oh and apparently his travels have left him with a love for sailing. And he still loves to collect poems, rather strange hobby if you ask me—"
"No one asked you," Carla snaps ready to defend Liam through thick and thin, "He is sensitive and I think it's adorable."
"And here I was thinking you weren't in love with him. But there is nothing else to say expect that he seems to follow the same routine everyday. He visits his brother's graveside, spends time with his sister, frequents the tearoom and then reads a bunch of boring poems. I don't know when you'll find the time to get him on his own. I assume that's why you want so many details right? To get him on his own?"
"I just want to catch up as friends," Carla lies. She has no intention of ever just being his friend. She wanted Liam back and was letting her mind run wild with all the ways to make this a possibility.
"Friends," says Leanne winking at her, "Of course. Well I can help you with that. Jamie is having a quite little soiree this weekend. I have it under high authority that Liam has been invited."
"Liam would actually go?" says Carla her heart getting all excited.
"Well like I said, Jamie said he was over the mourning period. He wants to start living again, have a little fun, baby steps and what not."
"So he's going?"
"Yes Carla," says Leanne grinning at her friend, "It's only a few people going anyways, nothing big."
"Who?" Carla wanted to know. She hoped there wouldn't be any gossipers who would tell on her if she happened to behave badly.
"Right now, just Jamie, Liam, Jamie's half brother Warren, Warren's girlfriend and you. Because darling you are coming."
"Was there ever any doubt," says Carla grinning right back at her friend. They were partners in crime and Carla was feeling rebellious and very naughty. She would just have to get Liam all alone, maybe get a few drinks in him and then who knows what could happen from there. Then she would be break off her engagement with Tony and be free to be with Liam. It was a simple really because Carla knew exactly what she wanted. And if she wanted Liam well enough all her hopes for them would come true.
"I'll help you arrange whatever you need darling? Like if you need any special lingerie or special champagne, perfume…it will be easy. That boy is defenseless against you and your feminine wiles. He can deny all he wants but I know the truth."
"Just keep Jamie away and occupied will you. Warren will be with his girlfriend so he's no trouble and the parents—"
"-Francesca and Daniel are visiting grandfather Baldwin all this week. We have free reign of Jamie's house. We just have to think of something to tell our mothers."
"And Peter is okay with you spending time with Jamie?"
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. I reckon the same will go for your Tony."
"You make me so devious Leanne," Carla laughs. She knew it was wrong contemplating cheating on her fiancé; he had been so kind to her but she couldn't help Tony's feelings towards her because she had never felt so strong towards him. The heart wants what it wants, and all her heart wanted was Liam
"We really have to plan it though, your outfit and everything. I mean I know you're still a virgin, so we'll need to practice the art of seduction."
"How hard can it be?" says Carla, "Shouldn't it all just come naturally. And who says we'll even go that far in one night."
"You better!" Leanne orders, "You have to keep him, capture him in your little trap and make him come crawling back for more. Trust me I know what I'm talking about."
"Of course you do," Carla says rolling her eyes, "How many times have you cheated on Peter with Nick now?"
"I'm a poor impressionable lady Carla," Leanne says mischievously raising her eyebrow, "I can't be held responsible for my actions. Especially when us women are so vulnerable."
"Oh behave!" Carla says trying to display disgust but inside she was giddy. She wanted Liam badly, "Tell Jamie not say anything about me going!"
"Of course Carla. I won't tell Jamie you are coming. I don't want to risk him spoiling our fun. I can't wait to see Liam's face when he sees you. Oh dinner will be so wonderful, he won't be able to tear his eyes off of you!"
"I can't wait," Carla utters breathlessly agreeing. The thought of him just a short distance from her at the dinner table, their eyes boring into one another was intoxicating. She couldn't wait to see him, to kiss him and just be with him in general.
There was only so much denying Liam could do before he'd have to admit to what existed between them. He'd have to admit that he wanted the same things. She had seen it in his eyes; Liam wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Her mother couldn't keep them apart, and Carla would rebel against her witch of a mother in whatever ways she could. She would make Liam see the light as well. He would feel all that she felt and he would discover his heart again. Carla jumps off of her bed running to her closet and throwing it open to look at outfits.
"Don't get too excited though," says Leanne says, "Our parents always say we must learn without love. So if Liam gets all difficult just remember you have Tony to fall back on."
"Liam won't be difficult," says Carla. She wants to stay positive, "I know he loves me, he just has to."
"I know, I know. I'm just saying that if you can't make him your husband at least try and make him your lover."
"Are you saying I should just cheat? Cheat while I'm married to Tony, if I marry Tony that is."
"That's exactly what I'm saying," Leanne winks sliding off the bed and walking over to the closet to help her best friend pick outfits.
"I want to be with Liam though," Carla says.
"And you can be," Leanne now grabs a dress holding it up to Carla's figure, "Think about it this way. What difference is there when comparing the love you get from a husband versus that of a lover?"
"One is more duty and the other is more passionate," Carla responds.
"Exactly. It's like the best of both worlds. With Tony Gordon, the man is nice enough that he can offer you some companionship and let you live rather comfortably."
"I could live well off with Liam."
"Yes you could. But your not engaged to Liam now are you. Your mother wouldn't hear of it. She'd make your life hell if you went against her so openly. That's why it's smarter to defy her in baby steps behind the scenes and what not. Just let her think you are the dutiful wife, pull the wool over everyone's eyes. You'll get Tony's adoration and some kids to make him happy. But the passionate love, that once in a life time experience that every woman should experience, you'll get that with Liam."
"What if Liam isn't okay with that? What if I'm not?"
"You'll have to just learn to be won't you? It's the best of both worlds and you can be very happy and very fulfilled. I mean I intend to do the same when I marry Peter. Nicholas will be for my passion filled nights."
"You are horrible," Carla says laughing now going to stand in front of the full-length mirror with Leanne's choice of dress.
"Say what you will but I think it is rather genius. I can't go wrong and Stella wouldn't dare say anything. I'll just make her feel guilty. Eva and I have her wrapped around our little fingers anyways. I'll either have a very long marriage, or a very affair. Hell I may even have both if I'm lucky, but that is way better than having neither. I don't intend to deny myself some form of happiness and neither should you. Our parents try to keep us down all our lives, but we've gotten smarter and keep on finding more ways to outwit them."
Carla doesn't know what to say. But she isn't going to pretend that if Liam jumped at the chance to be with her even after she got married that she would deny such an opportunity. Liam probably thought that her getting married changed everything and up until now Carla thought the same. But if she could be with Liam, there was no telling the lengths she would go through to have him in the end. She would settle for an affair if that meant a step in the right direction. Tony wouldn't have to know until the time was right. And her mother, well her mother could go screw herself as far as Carla was concerned. Sharon seemed more in love with Tony than Carla anyways.
