Notes: Back to funny! yay, funny! Not much to say... I'm waiting till I get TWO REVIEWS before posting more. Thanks.


Heee.. Ohm… The ground shivered as energy began gathering in one place, yet this was occurring in three other places at the exact same time in the same synchronization. Something long forgotten was stirring... something big.

"Eh, my ear itches," Oni rubbed the long Terminan ear tenderly. "Is yours? Maybe it's something in the air here..." The cave scene was dark but dry, and seemed more like an underground tunnel than a cave, but there was stalagmite and stalactite.

"Mm, no, maybe someone's talking about you; that's how this one myth goes..." Kari was following at a soft pace, avoiding webs that seemed to grow thicker and more bountiful...

"Talking about me? Oh, then that's normal, I suppose," He flashed a short smile. "Some talk about me as an evil god, then those one people I helped probably worship me... and there might be an occasional few ladies that love me."

"Yeah right, that's because they don't know the real you," Kari scoffed and Oni raised a firm eyebrow. "Man... It's so dark... I can't even see my hand anymore! We should turn back..."

"The dark's my friend," She heard Oni and felt something brush across her rear.

"P-Pervert!!" She smacked forward and heard Oni hit the ground.

"O-Ow! What did I do!?"

"What do you mean!? Agh! I want out of here, let's go!"

"Oh, chill out, hold on," Oni exhaled loudly and Kari heard something strike against something else and suddenly, a nice perimeter around them lit up. "See? I brought a freaking tor-"

"Oni? Oni what's wrong? Heelllooo Oni Anybody in that thick head of yours?" She waved a hand in his face. Almost brain dead... Kari raised an eyebrow. "Oni I'm scared" She stroked his cheek and grew near him. "Let's go Pleeaaasee...?"

"A-Ah!!" He suddenly jumped. "Although that was incredibly fun, LOOK OUT!" He thrust a hand forward and she turned to see a gigantic skulltula, a spider creature with a skull abdomen.

"H-HOLY SHT!"

"C'mon!" Oni grabbed her arm and rushed forward, only to suddenly get stuck in some sort of web. "What the h3ll? This wasn't here last time..."

"Last time!?" Kari gaped, watching the spiders grow near and start spitting web on their bodies. "There's no time for flashbacks! Get us out of here!!"

"U-Uh, right!" He went to stretch a hand to summon his sword, but one of the spiders glued it straight down and sampled it. "O-Ow! That spider just bit me!" At least skulltulas don't have venom... He secretly found relief.

"But that doesn't mean we won't make a tasty side dish!"

"Don't worry, you're already a tasty sidedi-"

"You pervert! There's no time for your nonsense, use the torch or something, idiot!!"

"Oh fine," Oni dropped the torch down to the web, which quickly caught on fire and the spiders crept away like bed bugs from light. Getting slightly scorched, they fell to the floor.

"Ow..." Kari clenched her eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain.

"You know, I'm all dandy and fine with this," She felt arms feel around her and grew a deep red, her eyes jerking open to see that she hadn't landed on the expected dry flooring.

"A-Ack! Lemme go!"

"But why? We have candlelight, it's perfect..." He pushed her to the ground, his hands on her wrists, keeping her down against the floor. "You know, it'd probably be twice as exciting since we just escaped dea-"

"I SAID GET OFF!" –Kick!- Oni went flying and made a loud splash in a cave pool nearby. "You're despicable!" She brushed off a strand of his hair on her clothes and shuddered.

"A-Ahhhh! Kari! Help!" Octaraks spat rocks out on his head and rammed into him.

"Yeah right! I'm not falling for that crap! Besides, even if you are in trouble, you're a god! What help do you need from a Terminan, you perv?" She began away, stomping the ground in like she was a ticking bomb.

"Phew!" Oni pulled himself up from the water and panted, recovering his breath quickly before racing up to catch up with her. "Well that wasn't very nice."

"Neither was what you did, you pervert," Her face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "Almost every stupid day you try something, do you know how tiring and stressful it is?"

"... Are you PMSing?"

"... IF I WERE PMSING I'D BE YELLING-" Check. Oni thought. "- AND HITTING YOU-" Double check. "-AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR FACE!" Check, check, check. Oni nodded to himself. She's PMSing. A slow moan filled the cave and they both dropped silent. "Do you hear..." Oni dipped his head. As they didn't know, a dagger-like stalagmite rumbled in its spot, and almost in an assassin's way, it broke from the ceiling. "Oh wait!" Kari pointed and they jumped from the spot, only to have more stalagmites falling.

"RUN!" Oni yelled and they bolted from that spot, running in zigzag patterns to avoid the falling rock blades. "Left! Right! Stop! Run!"

"Ah!" Kari's dress got caught by the point of a gray slim stalagmite. "C-Crap!"

"Oh great!" Oni pushed her, and fell to the ground.

"O-ONI!"

...

...
...

"Oni, you're alive."

"What...?" Oni opened his eyes. "OH MY GOD!" The stalagmite fell straight between his legs, mere inches from his favorite thing on his body. "A... Ah... PHEW!" He fell backwards and sighed in long deep relief. "Yes! Safe! And I get to keep my pride."

"You've got to be kidding me, that's your pride?" Kari sat down next to him, staring at him blankly. (--)

"It's what I Iive for," He rolled on his stomach, resting his head on one of his hands. "Besides, not even some thanks for my little heroic act?"

"Alright, thanks," She sighed and patted him on the head. "Can we leave this place now...?"

"Yeah, I bet the skulltulas have already done something with the thing I left here..."

"You put something here?"

"Just chest of powerful magic stones... I use them to power up myself and my sword... I figured, since Majora learned new things, I had to upgrade myself but... We'll just have to go fetch some ourselves then, right?" They were walking out the front entrance, the light almost blinding them at first. "Hey... We had two horses... right?"

"Yup, why do you... Wait... Where did the other horse go!?"

"Is that it over there?" In a far off distance, they noticed a horse rushing into town and disappearing through the Termina Main Town's south gate. "It would seem we only have one horse..."

"-sigh- Of course, it's my luck," Kari stepped over to the horse. "We'll just have to use the same one... for now."

"Really? I was expecting you to make me run alongside while you use the horse..."

"Oh wait, that's a good ide-"

"Too late, let's go!" He flashed a grin, hopped on the horse, and helped her up in front of him.

"Why am I in front...?" She shot daggers at him, but his happy manner acted as a shield.

"Why's it matter?" He used one hand to hold the rein and the other slithered around her stomach. "I wouldn't want my dear honey to fall off and get a little scratch-" His hand slipped up her stomach and rubbed against her chest, making the hair on the back of her neck rise.

"AGH! You never learn!" –Bam!- Her elbow smashed into his gut and he flew off the back of the horse, hitting the ground with a thud and dizzy eyes. "I should have this horse trample you!"

"Why did I choose such a willful sacrifice...?"

"Indeed, why!?"

"Mm, why? Because you amuse me!"

"Amuse!? I'm not some sort of entertainment!"

"Aw, but you're so cute when you're angry!"

"Y-You...! You...!"