Chapter eight:

Matt helps Near out of Mello's embrace then they lay Mello on the pillow, that has stayed there since Matt first placed it there, only to cover him with the blanket Mello has been sleeping with since he mostly would pass out on the couch.

Near can't help but smile softly as he looks to Mello's face.

Mello shifts with a frown as if his body is searching for Nears.

Matt leaves to grab the pillow from Mello's bedroom. He tucks it into Mello's embrace and that calms the blonde a little as he clutches the pillow.

"He's changed." Near says softly.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Matt says gathering the dishes.

Near helps Matt with the dishes despite the red heads protests.

"Sorry about having him fall asleep holding you like that. I didn't think he would just do that then pass out once the drug took effect." Matt says as they finish the dishes.

"You drugged him?" Near raises an eyebrow at him.

"I've bene doing that a lot since you went missing." Matt explains not really looking up. "It's only a sedative don't worry. Just don't tell him." He informs him and the two sit at the kitchen table. "Hungry?" He questions looking to the smaller male.

Near shakes his head to respond to the question then he looks back to Matt. "So he hasn't been sleeping well…"

"Oh man where do I even begin?" Matt says. "Well really the only way I found to get him to sleep was to either let him pass out or to drug him. He had really bad depression that sky rocketed once to the point he went to his bedroom and went to bed silently after I told him to. His attitude was very worrying. On that day he hugged a stranger thinking it was you."

Near flinches slightly as he can't believe Mello would be in this much pain thanks to him. He looks away. "I'm sorry." He apologises.

"You had good intentions." Matt says taking out a smoke. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

Near shakes his head. "Just please don't blow it towards me."

"I have the window open and I promise I won't." Matt assures him and lights the smoke.

"You guys shouldn't become a part of this." Near says mostly to himself as he looks to a wall.

Matt takes an inhale then breaths it out away from Near. "There's no way you're getting rid of us that easily." He states to the other who looks to him for a moment. "Trust me. I almost thought I had to put Mello onto suicide watch if it wasn't for his hope and determination of finding you. Even I'm not letting you slip away that easily."

Near glances to the wall that has the living room on the other side a little worried that it went that far.

"But now that you're back I'm sure he'll be fine in no time. It'll probably feel like the whole thing never happened." Matt says taking another inhale from his smoke.

Near keeps watching the wall as he imagines what Mello must have been like while he was gone. "Hopefully." He says.

Mello's P.O.V.

Me and Near are laying on the couch together with him in my arms as we lay there cuddling.

I think Matt went to his room to play video games…. I wasn't really paying attention.

"I'm sorry for leaving you." Near says moving closer to me. "I won't do it again."

"Good." I say and I lean down to give his lips a kiss…. Why does he feel like a pillow? I pull away enough to look into his eyes.

His eyes shine with happiness, love and lust.

A beautiful combination that I know my eyes are reflecting back at him.

I pull him closer, if that's even possible, and he rests his head on my chest as I pet his soft hair…. That also feels like a pillow for some reason. "Oh Near I'm never letting go of your again."

"Mello…." Near says as he snuggles closer to me. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it my love?" I ask giving the top of his head a kiss…. THAT FUCKING FEELS LIKE A PILLOW!

"My real name is." He suddenly changes to a pillow.

My eyes snap open to darkness with moonlight streaming through the window, it seems to be about midnight. I feel disoriented a little as I am confused on what's going on. I end up falling off the couch and I realize that it was all a dream as I see that I had been clutching a pillow. My eyes start to water.

A dream…..

A cruel deceiving dream…..

I get to sitting on my knees and my head is hanging so I am staring at my lap and the floor where my hands are resting on said floor. I start crying.

Why does life have to be so cruel!?

"Near!" I sob. "Why! Why is life so cruel like this?!" I don't care right now that I am crying on the floor between the coffee table and the couch.

My whole world feels like it's falling apart and I swear the cruel dream that I had Near back loving me like I do him….. That was what broke me completely.

I sit there with sobs racking my body and my tears won't stop flowing.

There's the sound of soft footsteps but it's probably only Matt so I just ignore it.

I continue to cry for about another minute.

"Mello?" Near's voice rings in my ears.

I stop mid sob and I spin around falling to my butt, still not caring, only to see Near standing in the living room door way with the stairs to upstairs as well as downstairs right behind him as well as the kitchen just a turn away.

The kitchen has it's light on but I don't care.

I'm either hallucinating or Near is actually here!

He moves closer and I can't help it.

I rush to him and embrace him hard no longer sobbing but my tears still stream down my face.

"Mello why are you crying?" Near asks.

I burry my face into his hair.

He seems so real… Could it be true?

"Mello…" He speaks worriedly and I find my tears have been dried up so I can't really speak thanks to dehydration.

I just hold him close wishing that if this is a dream then I never wake up even if it means going into a forever coma!

"It's ok Mello." He tries to assure me.

I pull back enough to look to him.

He's real….. He's really here!

I am suddenly being led to the couch as Near turns on the light as he passes by it. I follow just glad to be able to be with him once again and that he is safe.

He settles me down onto the couch. "Stay here." He says then walks to the kitchen.

I reach to grab his shirt to stop him from leaving my side but I just land laying onto the couch with my arm raised as if to try to grab something.

Is he leaving again? Where's he going?

I feel a little disoriented still and I start to wonder if he was actually just an image my mind projected…. What if he was only Matt but I was seeing Near!?

If I had anymore tears my eyes would be full of them again.

Then suddenly I spot him coming back with a pill and some water.

I sit up so fast I almost pass out.

"You probably have a headache." He says. "Matt says you've been getting them a lot recently."

I calm down.

There's no way he is an illusion.

I'd be insane if this was all an illusion.

He sits next to me and offers me the pill with some water.

My headache, I think I didn't pay attention to when I awoke, suddenly hits me hard. "Yeah thanks." I say taking the pill and water. I take the pill then gulp down the whole cup of water. I put the cup onto the coffee table. "What time is it?" I ask.

"Close to one am." Near responds.

"Did I wake you?" I ask looking into his eyes.

He shakes his head. "I already was up." He explains.

"You should have gotten some sleep." I tell him.

"I couldn't sleep." He tells me.

I put an arm around him pulling him close. "I've been there." I say softly.

"So I've heard. Matt told me about what happened while I was gone." He tells me. "I didn't think you would become so broken." He says.

"I felt like it was my fault you were missing. We thought you were abducted by whoever killed Bryn." I tell him.

"It wasn't your fault." Near tells me.

"I thought it was. I didn't know that there was a bigger reason." I say. "Does that hooded figure know you and your siblings escaped?"

"He suspects so. That's why he continuously tries to find us with no luck." He tells me.

I keep him close. "He won't get you."

No one's P.O.V.

Matt watches and smiles then he turns away to head back to bed. He rushed down when he was awoken by Mello falling off the couch. He had become attuned to being able to awaken the moment something doesn't sound right.

This time he sees that Near has it handled so he heads back to bed.