Much longer than my previous chapters Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly
Fake friends: will help you find your prince charming
Real friends: will kidnap him and bring him right to you
A week later, and Carly handed in the memoir, and Ms. Briggs gave her an A. On the other hand, Sam turned in a paper with her name on it that read, "I helped Carly co-host iCarly." Not surprisingly, Ms. Briggs gave Sam a F. Carly was quite pleased with her grade, but Sam couldn't care less. The next morning, Sam just got to school and walked over to find Carly, who was hiding behind the stairs, staring at a Mediterranean skinned, dark haired, very tall, and very muscular Italian boy.
Sam sneaked over to where Carly was. Carly was so absorbed in staring at the Italian boy, she did not notice Sam's presence. Sam took notice of this, and shouted, "Hi, Carly!"
Carly nearly jumped out of her skin, and screamed in fear until she only realize that it was Sam. "Sam!" she shouted in annoyance.
"What's up?" Sam asked, ignoring her friend's annoyance.
"Why did you do that?" Carly asked, calming down a bit.
"I wanted to get your attention. What are you staring at?" Sam asked.
"Lorenzo Roselli," Carly admitted, slightly embarrassed.
"Who?" Sam asked.
Carly pointed out the Italian boy. "That's Lorenzo Roselli. He's an exchange student from Italy, and he's hot!"
"Well? Go ask him out," Sam offered.
"No, I can't," Carly said.
"Why not?"
"Because look at him he's hot, he's muscular, and he acts like a perfect gentleman! If I ask him out, I'll just stutter or something."
"Oh, come on! You asked out tons of guys before!"
"Yeah, but none are even remotely like him! He's everything a girl could want – physically and personality-wise. Why would he want me?" Carly groaned.
"Uh, dude! You're the star of iCarly. Any guy would wanna date you!" Sam said as if it were obvious.
"Yeah, I guess. Maybe I should ask him out!" Carly said, feeling confidence rise up in her.
"You should!" Sam agreed.
Carly took out a brush from her purse and brushed her hair back. She put the brush back and took out cherry red Chap Stick and added some to her lips. "How do I look?"
"Great!" Sam said.
"Okay, then. Here it goes!" Carly walked over to where Lorenzo was standing, playing out what she should say in her head. Carly was always confident in asking a guy out, but she never felt more nervous than ever. What should I say? Carly thought, How about:" Hi, Lorenzo, I'm Carly. Would you like to go out on a date with me?" No, too upfront. How about: "Hello, I'm Carly. You must be the new exchange student Lorenzo Roselli. Would you like me to show you around?" No, he might say "no" and then if I ask him out on a date, I might seem desperate. Okay, how about: "Hello, Lorenzo, I'm Carly. I heard you are new here, and I was wondering if you would like me to show you around town. Maybe we can go to the Groovy Smoothie and just talk?" Ok. That works. I'm being friendly and helpful by offering to show him around town while asking him on a date. Now I just need to put it in words.
Carly was only a few feet from Lorenzo, who's back was to her as he was digging through his locker. It was her time to shine, but her stomach was dead set against it. She looked back and saw Sam waiting by the stairs. Sam waved, and Carly weakly waved back. Carly turned around to face Lorenzo. She took a deep breath as she nervously said, "Uh, hi Lorenzo!" Carly winced afterwards as she knew she said it too loud because it startled Lorenzo as he jumped and quickly turned around, ready to grab the intruder and wrestle them to the ground.
When he saw it was just a harmless looking girl, he said in his best English, "Hello."
"Hi, I'm Carly. I heard you were…uh…new, and I thought maybe if you wanted to…uh…show you around town and we could – you know – ummmm, go on a date?" Carly instantly bit her lip.
She swore Lorenzo looked at her as if she belonged in Troubled Waters Mental Institution. "Ummm? Thank you but no," Lorenzo politely said and walked off.
Carly stood dumbfounded and mentally kicked herself over and over until she was one mental kick away from death. Sam walked over and asked, "What happened?"
"I blew it up! He probably thinks I'm that I'm a freak. I'm never gonna go out with him!" Carly whined.
"Oh, come one," Sam said, "you just got nervous. Try again later."
"And have a repeat of that episode? No way!" Carly said. Sam was about to argue her point when the bell rang. "Come on," Carly groaned, "let's get to class."
For the next few days, Carly flat out refuse to ask out Lorenzo again and even went out of her way to avoid her which was relatively easy since they had different classes. Nothing Sam said could persuade her. Carly just did not want to feel like a freak in front of Lorenzo. Sam couldn't stand to see Carly feel this way so she came up with a plan. She was going to bring Lorenzo to Carly. Whether he liked it or not.
When Carly left school early for a dentist appointment, Sam decided that today was the best day for her plan. As soon as the end-of-school bell rang, Sam stealthily followed Lorenzo as he walked to his host family's house. When Lorenzo cut through an alleyway, Sam took this as her chance. She made herself known and called out, "Hey, Lorenzo!"
Lorenzo turned around to see a blonde girl waving at him. Sam ran up to catch up to him. "Hey, I'm Sam. Listen. You know my friend Carly, don't you?"
"You mean that weird girl who tried to ask me out on date when I don't even know her that well?" Lorenzo said in his Italian accent.
Sam clenched her fists behind her back as she grudgingly let the insult to her best friend fly without punishment. "Yes, that's her. Listen, I'm going to her apartment. You wanna come? I know she'd love to see you."
Lorenzo shook his head. "No thanks. I need to get to my host family anyway."
Sam pulled out some rope and ominously said, "I didn't say you get a choice."
Back at the Shay Apartment
Carly had just gotten back from the dentist. With little homework, she sat on her couch looking up Fred videos on Splash Face. She laughed as Fred was making food for Judy in the microwave. Then she heard a knock. "It's unlocked! Come in!" she shouted, expecting Freddie. Instead who showed up surprised her: it was Sam with a tied up Lorenzo flung on her shoulder. His mouth was duct taped shut. "Oh my God!" Carly said as she put down her laptop and went over to Sam. "What the heck?"
"Well, you always had a crush on him so I decided to set you up with him," Sam calmly said while dealing with a struggling Lorenzo.
"You didn't have to kidnap him!" Carly shouted.
"Well, I offered him the chance to go freely but he refused so I tied him up, duct taped his mouth and dragged him over here," Sam said as if it were no big deal. Sam dropped him on the couch and ripped off the duct tape.
"Ouch!" Lorenzo shouted.
"Alright then! Have fun you two!" Sam said as she was about to leave.
"Hold on," Carly said as she stopped Sam, "Where are you going?"
"Home to give you two some alone time," Sam said and headed for the door.
"No don't – " Sam left and closed the door, " – leave."
Carly turned around to see a captive Lorenzo on her couch. "I'll get a knife," she said and went to the kitchen and found one. Carly cut the ropes and freed Lorenzo. "Listen," Carly began, "I'm sorry Sam kidnapped you. You don't have to stay here. She only did it because she knew I had a crush on you, and I blew it up asking you out and didn't want to feel like a freak asking you out again."
Lorenzo brushed the ropes off him. "No, it's okay. You have a good friend who's willing to go that far for you. I didn't mind that you were nervous. I sometimes feel nervous, too, asking a girl out. It's just that I didn't know you well so I refused. I like to date girls that I know."
"Oh, okay," Carly said, feeling much better.
"Well, if you want, we can get to know each other now," Carly offered.
Lorenzo smiled, "Sure, I'd like that."
This just proves that Sam is a real friend towards Carly
