Drunken Deals

A/N: I apologize in advance. My keyboard is messed up, I'm functioning on no sleep, this chapter won't be what you expected, it might (will) disappoint you, and, yes, they actually used the phrase 'YouTube phenomenon' on my television, so I'm almost sure the apocalypse is coming. And, no, Remus Lupin did not want to talk about his sexual endeavors with Dumbledore. Well…maybe a little. And ff was being a real douche, so I had to upload this twice, aye, sorry for those of you who have this on alerts.
Disclaimer: Well, seeing as the apocalypse is coming…this doesn't really matter anymore.

Chapter Nine: Fun With Fireworks

"Now?"

"Not now, Pads. In fact, you couldn't have picked a worse time."

"That's what you keep saying."

Remus Lupin barely reacted to these words as he compared what was in his textbook with what was on his parchment. When was he going to have to know anything about Unbreakable Vows, anyway? It seemed so impractical. Yet, once again, here he was comparing and contrasting the benefits and downfalls of some spell he would never use. Recently he had found himself finishing work at the last minute, his quill scribbling furiously on his parchment in the last few minutes of their break, trying to ignore everything going on around him.

Which was hard, really hard. Considering that, as Remus sat on the floor, surrounded by books and papers, against one of the numerous couches in the common room, Sirius lay on that couch and went from a person to a distraction. Constantly talking about inane things and asking that infuriating question, managing to keep Remus from finishing his work. "We're so proud of you," James had said, a hand to his heart as the werewolf had been near to tears at the thought of his first missing assignment in six years.

"Maybe I keep saying it because you keep picking terrible times to ask," he finally responded as he wrote the last few words on his parchment, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Or, perhaps, I'm picking wonderful times to ask and you're just not open-minded." Sirius presented this theory and almost made it seem plausible, but Remus only looked at his boyfriend and shook his head. "Worth a try." Remus began gathering up all the various things that were on the common room floor. Along with three textbooks and a plethora of parchment there were a few quills, absentmindedly tossed aside, that day's Daily Prophet, turned to an article on the Hobgoblins, James Potter and his new Prefect's badge as the other one had been lost.

James, who was sleeping, woke up only when Sirius got up and kicked his side. "Up, up," he mumbled, grabbing onto the edge of a burgundy, plush chair and pulling himself to a standing position, yawning in an exaggerated manner while lifting his arms up above his head. "When does class start?"

"Right about…now," Sirius replied, looking up at the ceiling as he lay on the couch. He was watching James' snitch, which, ironically enough, James had snitched from one of his practices. Somehow it had gotten loose in the common room and was frantically flying around even though no one was in pursuit. Sometimes one would lose sight of it, but quickly catch a flash of gold out of the corner of their eye and once more be able to follow its path.

"What?" Remus dropped nearly everything he had been picking up, only holding onto his Charms textbook by luck and looked at Sirius in shock.

"I'm joking, love. I don't even have a watch or anything. Oh, hey, Christmas present idea!"

It was the day before Halloween and the holiday was upon them, quite literally, as they rushed out of the common room. Peeves was smashing pumpkins in the corridors and James had the misfortune to be a hit target. "My hair!" Even though he had barely taken a minute to brush it that morning, James cried out in supposed agony as a few pieces of a broken pumpkin hit his raven disarray of tresses, splattering them with orange goo and several seeds. Peeves cackled with overwhelming joy as he watched the Gryffindor boy hysterically try to rid himself of the mess.

"You sort of match Evans! I bet she'll be flattered. Imitation and all that." Sirius sounded rather excited at the prospect, but James only glared at him as he grabbed some of the pumpkin out of his hair and flung it down the hall, hitting a Hufflepuff girl evenly in the back. "Or you could just do that." Sirius joined in, aiming at, and then hitting, Barty Crouch directly in the head. Barty turned around quickly but the trio of boys was already on their way down to the third floor.

Besides having trouble with his studies, Remus had recently found it easier to ignore what his friends got up to. As usual, he would rarely join in, but instead of looking on disapprovingly he would actually allow himself to smile. Albeit behind an armful of books. In the weeks that had passed since the incident with Crouch and Dumbledore things had gotten much easier for him to handle. The same could not be said for much of the school, but it was easier to accept the stares and mocking when he could accept himself, something he had come to terms with over that time period.

"Do you guys believe in ghosts?"

"James, one of our teachers is a ghost." Remus sometimes marveled at the things his friends said despite the intelligence he knew they had.

"I know, I know. I mean, like, real ghosts."

"You know, I'm pretty sure they're real."

"What about mean ghosts?"

"Need I remind you that the Bloody Baron is still alive?" Sirius said this laughingly, as if James was a complete idiot for not realizing this contradictory fact.

"Sirius…"

"You know what I mean." Actually, Remus wanted to point out, he really didn't. Sirius Black had the rare blessing of making no sense at the same time as he made total sense. A personified paradox complete with a wand, he was a modern miracle that had never quite made it into mainstream society. It was something Remus was willing to overlook or at least just make one of those 'quirks' that were really flaws that everyone made out to be lovable add-ons to someone's personality.

Charms class went as it normally did. Sirius fell asleep. James fell asleep. Peter, who had been oddly absent from break, tried to fall asleep but only succeeded in looking as bored as the rest of the class as Professor Flitwick explained to them the finer points of an Unbreakable Vow. Remus took notes which his friends, as usual, swore they would look over later, but never actually would.

As he left class someone grabbed his arm and dragged him away from his mates. It turned out to be Lily who looked as if she had something urgent to tell him. "Erm, I'll meet you guys at dinner, then," Remus called to his friends as Lily pulled him further down the Charms hall until they reached the Trophy Room. "Something important to tell me, Lily?" Remus said to Lily who, he thought to himself, was acting very odd.

"It's Regulus."

"Alright, so it isn't something important."

"Actually, it's very important." Lily bit her lip and kept her eyes on a Medal for Magical Merit as she spoke, playing with the hem of her sweater. "Apparently Regulus sent post to his parents. That means he probably told Sirius' parents about you two."

"Which means what?" Remus asked, seriously doubtful in tone. "Sirius doesn't even live with them anymore, it's not like they can do anything. And do I even want to know how you know about this before any of us does?" At times Lily's knowledge surprised him. Not the things she knew academically, rather how much she knew about people that Remus had never given a second thought to.

"Michael Carlisle told me he heard Regulus talking about writing home to one of his friends."

"And Michael Carlisle is someone to be trusted?"

"Well I'm not saying he thought this all out, Rem," Lily said, maddened by Remus' disbelieving interjection. "If you want the full details, Michael and I were talking about Potions, which led to the dungeons and how the Slytherins can possibly stand to live down there. It just turned into the fact that he had overheard Regulus talking about writing home to his parents and how strange it was that he had sounded so serious about something so normal."

"I just don't really see why this matters, Lily. What, are his parents going to show up and have us condemned? This isn't the Reign of Terror." Remus was highly cynical towards the situation. Sure, it wasn't a good thing that Sirius' parents knew, but he didn't see why it was such a big deal. In his mind the event barely seemed like it would affect them at all.

"You know what, never mind, Remus. I was just trying to tell you what was going on. I mean, obviously I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not in Divination anymore and even if I was…anyway. You don't have to poke fun at me for being worried." Lily sounded almost hurt and Remus felt a pang of regret for disregarding her information so easily, not even considering its merit. "I obviously don't know much about the situation now, but I'd like to point out that you and I have barely talked the past month. Actually, I've probably talked to James more than you."

"I've been a bit busy and so have you."

"No I haven't. And neither have you, not really. Not too busy for Sirius and James."

"That's different, Lily, you know that's different."

"It's not different at all, Rem, not at all. I don't know what the hell is up with you, but you've changed." With those words Lily Evans left the room, her shoulder colliding with Remus' in a brash fury that he wasn't used to from her, leaving him alone in a room full of tarnished objects that were in need of polishing, much like his own attitude.


"Now?"

"Gods no!"

Sirius frowned at the rejection as his boyfriend sat down next to him, finally joining his friends at dinner. Somehow Remus had managed to be fifteen minutes late even thought he had garnered a good half of an hour before the meal after his confrontation with the redhead. Something had overcome him and he had been forced to take an extended tour of the castle thinking about nothing in particular, a thing he had been doing quite a lot lately.

"It seemed like an excellent time to ask," Sirius said quietly, his hand creeping towards Remus' beltline, only to have the lycanthrope laugh and grab his wrist.

"Things aren't always what they seem," he reminded Padfoot, with a coy smile.

"Merlin, Moony, I never would have thought you would have it in you, but you're a fucking tease," James said from across the table, breaking into a fit of laughter at the circumstances. "I don't even know how you put up with him, Pads." This statement was said as James filled his mouth with food making the words almost unintelligible to anyone else besides his friends who had gotten used to this sort of things happening while they had a chance to eat.

"Aw, he isn't all that bad, is he?" Sirius said, suggestively, as he grinned at Remus. The two exchanged a quick kiss, something that always made Remus blush and Sirius smile. "Look at that, we're back on track. And, besides, James, you have your own tease." He pointed towards Lily who was sitting several feet away from them and looking like a recluse as she didn't talk to anyone. "Lily is like your Rem, only Lily pretty much pales in contrast."

"Ergh, please don't compare us to them," Remus complained, taking a drink of his pumpkin juice, and making a face, although it was more towards the idea of being like Lily and James than to the actual taste of his drink.

James glared at him, but Sirius laughed. "I don't get it, what's wrong with being like Lily and I?" James asked, in authentic confusion.

"Mate, you guys aren't even dating and you already act like you're in a fight," Sirius said with a smirk. "You've asked her out more times than I can count and every time you do she gives you the same exact answer. Some sort of disgusted, smartass variant of denial, right?" James shrugged. "Right. Anyway, I wasn't saying we're like them, love, just that you're a tease."

"Oh, thanks."


"Now?"

"Oh my – no Sirius. What would ever possess you to ask right now?"

"Would you guys shut up? Where's Peter?" James hissed at the bickering couple from down the hall. It wasn't entirely unusual for them to be out in the middle of the night – especially when it was Halloween. James had gotten the bright idea to set up fireworks to go off over breakfast the next morning. The plan had been in works since a late September visit to Hogsmeade. Peter was supposed to be carrying the bulk of the fireworks down to the Great Hall but was currently nowhere to be seen.

"He's the one who's talking really loud," Sirius said, grabbing onto Remus' arm and pulling him further into the darkness of the Great Hall which was just barely penetrated by a Lumos spell, courtesy of James' wand. They heard a crash from outside of the doors and the light all but disappeared.

"GAH! PETER YOU'RE GOING TO GET US CAUGHT!"

Remus was near to bursting out laughing, but caught himself by burying his head in Sirius chest. Sirius didn't seem to notice his intention of hiding the noise and took the chance to grab Remus into an embrace which the werewolf returned. "If you even think about asking me right now," he warned, his voice muffled into the taller boy's torso. Remus could distantly hear James sounding annoyed and Peter submitting apologies every few seconds. Everything seemed to melt away, though, as he listened to Sirius breathe and was given a chance to think.

Perhaps, he realized, Lily was right. He hadn't once protested what they were doing tonight. Would he have done the same before? But it was just a natural progression of character, nothing more, he thought. He was entitled to change over the course of six years, whether or not Lily Evans liked it. The change hadn't just happened in the past month, had it? Slowly he began to question this and wonder if he was actually valid in thinking this. Perchance, he had changed, was that altogether bad? No, he mused, not if he was alright with the change.

The thing was that he hadn't even realized the change, but did that then mean he was good with that or just that he was nearly blind? All the questions that were coming to his mind with such ease, but answers weren't as obvious. Remus was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he only just noticed Sirius was leaning towards him; the touch of his lips shocked Remus out of one train of thoughts and bought him a ticket to whole other one.

Even if he had changed that was the last thing he felt like thinking about as Sirius kissed him in the dark of the Great Hall, falling against the edge of one of the House tables. Remus' hands were underneath Sirius' shirt and he felt his hair being messed up, but could scarcely focus on either fact as he wasn't even given a chance to breathe until they were interrupted.

"Can you two keep your hands off of each other for a second while we do this or is that too much to ask?" James cried, as he had apparently abandoned all hopes of being quiet in favor of being louder than ever. Light assaulted Remus' eyes as Prongs and Wormtail entered the Great Hall, Peter clutching at an armload of fireworks and James holding his lit wand out at the busy couple.

"You know, I'm not even sure if I trust us, but we'll do our best," Sirius said, backing away from the werewolf, but grabbing his hand and following James and Peter towards the back of the Great Hall. "May I just ask how we're going about this? Don't these things only start with water or something? I mean, that would work well if we were merpeople or something. Or would it? Merlin, I bet the water would end up putting the fireworks out in the end anyway, which, well, makes it redundant, doesn't it?"

"Your point?" James said, turning around and shining the light directly in Sirius' eyes.

Sirius hit James' arm away and continued. "My point," he went on, "is how in the fuck are we going to set up, what, what is this?" He motioned to the fireworks that had fallen out of Peter's arms in a clatter. "Twenty? I mean, how are we going to start all of those at breakfast?" No one bothered to help Peter who was on all fours scrambling after every last firework.

"Look, I know this is going to be a hard concept to grasp, Pads, but we're actually going to apply something we learned in class to this," James said slowly, as if he was explaining something to a child. Remus realized another use for Aguamenti as James explained what they were going to do. "I've been thinking about it and it's pretty simple. We leave some of these under every house table, all of them, even the Slytherin's, and, here's the brilliant part. Ready? The ones that we bought will take a few minutes to go off, so each of us takes one table, sets off the spell and then comes back to the Gryffindor table and a few minutes later – no one's expecting it and no one's blaming us."

"That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Sirius said in awe. "I honestly can't wait to see how this goes."


Once they had finished placing the fireworks the four of them made their way back to Gryffindor Tower, underneath the Invisibility Cloak. It had been a tight squeeze for a while until they had pushed Remus out telling him he could flash his badge if they got caught. Luckily no such thing had happened and they ended up at the Fat Lady without any trouble along the way. They made their way into the common room and then up to the dormitories in silence, all of them near exhaustion.

"Hey, Rem…now?" Sirius said, quietly, from his bed.

"No, Sirius, no."

"But they'll be asleep really soon."

"What the hell are you guys going to do while we're asleep?" James exclaimed from the other side of the dormitory.

"He's been asking me all day at the worst times. Don't even worry about it," Remus responded, glaring at Sirius who was looking at him with an expression of mock hurt. This only seemed to peak James' interest and he looked at Sirius expectantly.

"Well I'm sorry if I didn't realize that there was a wrong time to ask someone to blow you."

A/N: After I finished this I said 'We did it!' a la Elle Woods? By the way, I spent, like, an hour trying to figure out if they would say blow job or not. Peter Pettigrew: will be having a side story, do you people see this? Okay good. :D Also, MY GOD, you people in England don't dress up nearly as much as we do in the States for Halloween, do you? D: Totally wanted to incorporate a joke about that in there but I wasn't sure how commonly it's practiced. Sorry it took so long to update, I've been watching National Treasure non-stop and being a total Riley fan-girl. Yes, there's a time skip, yes, you're probably angry about it. Oh well. Review even if you hate it.