It was the morning of the engagement party. Christa was helping Decima do her hair. Nearly every pureblood in Slytherin would be in attendance, except Gwen, whose mother had been bitten by a werewolf three years ago. Her family was no longer invited to social functions.
As she pulled on her sky blue dress robes, Decima was worried that something would go wrong, that she wouldn't be accepted back, and that she would truly have nowhere to turn this time. By now, Sirius and James had probably told Mr. and Mrs. Potter about her decision. Even if she was speaking with Gwen, it wasn't safe to live at her house. She and her father had to evacuate every full moon. If something went wrong, she was truly on her own now. Maybe this hadn't been the best of ideas, after all.
Decima followed Christa out to the common room, where Regulus was waiting for her, arm out to escort her. Christa was being escorted by Austin, mostly because she wanted them to all hang out together. There was a strange processional of Slytherins in dress robes trailing to Professor Slughorn's office while the other students were heading to the entrance hall to go to Hogsmeade. Decima spotted the Marauders, but Sirius was not with them. Probably off with some slag, she though bitterly to herself, surprised at the pangs in her stomach when she thought about Sirius shagging someone else.
The Malfoy Manor looked exactly as it had at Christmas, full of people in fancy clothes being cordial and pleasant. Regulus took her around and introduced her to several people there from out of town, asked her to dance, and then excused himself to get them drinks. It was almost like the old days, back when they first started dating, when all he wanted to do was show her off and dance with her.
While Regulus was away, several things happened, the first being that his cousin Andromeda came over with her date, who Decima had never met, but was sure she knew from somewhere. There was just something about the way he walked that made her sure she had had met him before, though Andromeda assured her she hadn't.
Andromeda introduced him as Gareth Fannon, an incredibly shy homeschooled pureblood boy from southern Wales. He was certainly easy on the eyes, and seemed to have manners, because when Andromeda introduced him the first thing he did was take Decima's hand and kiss it softly. Then, he whispered something to Andromeda, who nodded and said, "He would like me to tell you that you look beautiful and that he would love a dance later, if you're not too busy."
"I would be delighted," said Decima with a smile, but just then, Lucius Malfoy himself came over.
"Decima, I hate to be rude, but I'm afraid I need to borrow you," he drawled, not even looking at his fiancée's sister or her date. Rumor was that Andromeda was very close to being disowned herself, and her close friendship with her cousin Sirius was not helping her case.
"Oh, of course, Lucius," said Decima, hoping her nervousness didn't show on her face. Was she going to have to prove herself now? Was it time? "Excuse me, Andromeda; I expect I'll see you and Mr. Fannon later."
"We looked forward to it," said Andromeda with a smile, though her eyes were fixed warily on Lucius as the blond led her to a side chamber of the ballroom.
"Lucius," she said, hoping she wasn't going to have to remind him whose engagement party they were at, "where are you taking me?"
"You'll see in a moment, pet," he muttered, pushing open the door to the side chamber and practically throwing her in, following her, and closing the door behind him. Inside the room already were her own father, Mr. Black, and several other prominent pureblood patriarchs of varying ages.
"Father," she said. "Mr. Black. It is a pleasure."
Decima's instincts were telling her to run, but her social cues were telling her to stay rooted to the spot, smile, and pretend like you're very pleased to see them all.
"Decima," said her father, not exactly coldly, but not warmly. It wasn't exactly the way her father had always addressed her, but it was close. It was, perhaps, with a bit more edge in the tone than had been there before.
"It's time to prove yourself," said Mr. Black, with that same look of manic lust in his eyes and she would have given anything at all to run away screaming. She reminded herself, however, that she had nowhere left to turn, and just nodded, attempting to look a little more confident than she felt.
"Come here," said Mr. Black. He was clearly the man in charge. The Black family was always in charge. Decima's heart was pounding so loudly that she was sure they could hear it. Forcing herself forward, she crossed the distance between her and Mr. Black, careful not to meet his eyes, not sure if she could have if she had wanted to. Decima stopped in front of Mr. Black, far enough away to be proper.
"Look at me, Decima," he said softly, and she looked up. His eyes were absolutely filled with lust and she wanted to scream. She wanted to run. She actually almost fainted as he pressed his lips to hers, like before, holding her head with his hand so she couldn't pull away.
But this time, she didn't struggle. There was no fight left in her. She allowed him to rip off her dress robes and obeyed his order to lie down on the couch. She should be crying. She should be screaming. She didn't have the conviction, so she just laid there, sad and horrified at the sight of all those men looking down at her body like a fine dessert they were about to devour. Normally, Decima would have cringed. Well, normally was a relative term here, as there was really nothing normal about the situation. But her muscles didn't cringe. She just went limp as Mr. Orion Black, third and final male member of the House of Black, prepared to enter her.
She wanted Sirius. She wanted someone to save her. But she had blown it. She had thrown away her hope of a normal life, and now she was reduced to allowing herself be raped by every one of the richest patriarchs in pureblood society.
As he raped her, she thought of the Potter Manor. She thought of Sirius making her hot chocolate and kissing the whipped cream off her nose. She thought of Remus Lupin punching Regulus in the face on the train. She thought of all the people who had gone out of their way to make her feel safe and happy. She wasn't safe anymore, and she wasn't happy. She closed her eyes and pretended it wasn't happening. Maybe she could be on a beach somewhere, on holiday, and the waves were calmly rolling in as she curled her toes in the sand…
The door to the room burst open and she opened her eyes, but Orion Black didn't stop his thrusting. In the door was Regulus, a horrified look on his face as she looked sadly up at him.
"What are you doing?" he said, as if he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Go away, Regulus," ordered his father. "This is her punishment for being a bad girl."
Regulus's eyes scanned the room, and when they saw Decima's father they widened and he ran off into the party.
Great, thought Decima. There went her one chance of being rescued. Sirius was right. Regulus really didn't care about her.
Then, the completely unexpected happened. Andromeda's date ran into the room, wand in hand, and stunned Mr. Black.
"Back away, wands on the floor!" he yelled. His voice was so familiar. She was so sure she knew this man. He rushed to her side, still holding his wand pointed at the group of men in the corner, in case any of them went for their wands.
"Decima, love, can you sit up? Can you get dressed?"
She frowned, but nodded. He helped her get dressed and rushed her out of the room as quickly as she could go. When he realized it wasn't fast enough, he picked her up and began to carry her. Decima's legs weren't working properly. She was still in shock.
"I'm so sorry he got to you. I'm so sorry I let Lucius take you out of my sight."
"Who are you?" she said, frowning. Those eyes… those stormy gray eyes. And that voice. She knew him, she was sure of it.
He just smiled sadly at her.
"It's me, love. It's Sirius. Don't worry; I'll explain when we get you back to the school. Andromeda!" cried Gareth-Sirius.
"Oh my god, is she okay?" said Andromeda, worried, leading him off down a corridor.
"No, my father got to her before Regulus had a chance to tell you. She's been hurt pretty badly, she's bleeding and I think she's in shock."
Decima gasped. She was bleeding? What had he done that made her bleed? How had she not noticed? Had she really tuned out her surroundings that well?
"Come on, I'll floo you back to the school," Andromeda said, leading them to a grand fireplace. "You can tell me the rest when I get back, just make sure she gets the attention she needs."
"Of course, I'll take her straight to the hospital wing," he said. "And can you owl Gwen and have her take her things back to my room? I'll let James know to be expecting her."
"Of course, take care."
Sirius looked at the flames, stepped in, and said, "You'll have to drop the powder, 'Dromeda, I can't hold her with one arm." Andromeda nodded and took a fistful of floo powder in her hand. "Hogwarts," he said, and she let it go into the fireplace.
When they arrived in Professor Slughorn's office, he looked up, startled at their entrance.
"Miss Zimmerman? And who are you?"
Sirius held up his wand pulled a mirror out of his pocket, and did some quick transfiguration. He was back to his old self.
"Mr. Black? What happened?"
Decima followed Professor Slughorn's eyes to the bloodstains all over her robes at odd places from the waist down. It finally hit her and she began to cry, her knees giving way, falling into Sirius's arms. He held her tightly against his chest.
"Please, sir, there isn't any time to explain. I need to get her to the hospital wing, now. She's just been raped."
Slughorn's eyes widened in shock and he helped Sirius get her to the hospital wing, which really wouldn't have required both of them, but she was in absolute hysterics. Finally, they got her there, and Madam Pomfrey looked at the blood on her robes and told them which bed to put her on, pulling up the curtains to examine her in private.
Decima now got a good look at the damage. Blood had trickled all down her legs from her vagina and was now beginning to congeal, with fresh blood pouring at different angles due to her various shifts in position. Madam Pomfrey healed the tears in her sensitive skin almost instantly, but it burned a little, and then she carefully cleaned the blood away with her wand. She gave Decima a potion to drink and said, "In case he released," and Decima began to cry a fresh wave of tears as she swallowed the potion like her very life depended on it. Neither Madam Pomfrey nor Professor Slughorn asked who had raped her. They just looked at her sadly after she had changed into some hospital wing pajamas and Sirius was holding her hand, looking incredibly sad and almost guilty.
"You'll have to stay until Monday morning, Miss Zimmerman," said Madam Pomfrey. "I'll have to give you more of that potion, monitor any possible developments, and of course, tears like that are very sensitive. They have a tendency to not take well to healing. I don't want you bleeding to death trying to get back here. It's just two nights, but if all's well Monday morning, you shouldn't have any further problems."
When the adults left, Sirius crawled into the hospital bed beside her and just held her as she cried into his chest. For twenty minutes, she didn't stop crying, but once she calmed down a little bit, Sirius brushed her tear-soaked hair out of her face and told her what had happened.
"As soon as you told me you were going, I knew I couldn't talk you out of it, so I asked Andromeda if she had a date, since she couldn't bring Ted. I explained the situation, and we knew she couldn't bring me, either, so I had James Transfigure me and we made up a backstory that seemed plausible so that I could keep an eye on you. I knew something felt wrong when Lucius took you away, and I said so to Andromeda, and we started to look for Regulus. Once we found him, she asked where you were, and he said he didn't know. Then she said she thought she had seen Lucius drag you off somewhere and his face went white and he ran off. He was back only minutes later, yelling for Andromeda to help you, that he didn't know what to do, and that our father was raping you and I snapped. I should have let her deal with it, but I couldn't. I pulled out my wand and ran off until I found the room they had you in, and, well, you know the rest."
Decima nodded numbly, running it over in her mind, not thinking about what had happened to her. She never wanted to think about it again.
"I'm so stupid, Sirius," she said. "I got so scared that I wasn't going to be strong enough that I let myself get completely violated because I didn't think I could handle the world outside the pureblood community. I didn't think I was strong enough. But really, I wasn't strong enough to get out properly, that was my problem. I should have listened to you. I never should have made you go through all that. I don't even know why you bothered. Maybe you should have just left me there. They probably would have left me on that couch to bleed to death and then you'd never have to worry about me again. I'd deserve that, after what I just put you through."
"Stop," he said angrily. "Don't you dare say that again. You know why I went back for you? I love you, Decima. I love you so much, and you are worth so much more than to bleed out on some couch in the fucking Malfoy Manor just because you had the good sense to stand up for yourself. Don't you dare say that to me."
"I'm not you, Sirius," she said. "I'm not strong."
"You think I'm strong?" he said with a laugh. "Please, Decima, do you have any idea how much shit I went through with my mother? She's been beating me since I was ten years old. No, I'm a weakling too, but you want to know a secret? It was easier for me because I knew the Potters loved me and would take care of me and never let anything happen to me ever again. And you know what? I love you, Decima, and I'm going to take care of you and never let anything happen to you ever again. We're going to get through this, love. Just you wait."
Sirius pressed his lips chastely to his cheek and they snuggled there, until she fell asleep in his arms to the sound of his peaceful, rhythmic snores. Decima was awakened halfway through the night, however, by the sound of voices and awoke to find James Potter sitting on the bed next to hers, and Sirius still holding her tightly.
"Oh, sorry to wake you, love," said Sirius, "but this one over here decided to pay a late night visit to see if I was still alive." He jerked his head toward James with an annoyed look on his face.
"Yeah, well," said James, "can you blame me for being worried? You never physically returned to the dorm, which, by the way, is beginning to have far too much estrogen in it. We need to find a way to re-man the man cave."
Decima frowned. Had she really put that much of a wrench in their style? She had tried so hard to blend in, to not disrupt their daily lives.
"What did I do?" said Decima, and Sirius barked with laughter.
"Oh, we forgot to tell you this. So, while you and Gwen weren't speaking, she basically started seeing Remus, and now she's effectively moved in, too, since her dorm won't talk to her. She transferred her stuff yesterday, while we were at the party. Apparently, Remus has found his soul mate, because she understands him and stuff."
"Yeah, who knew she had a werewolf for a mom?" said James casually, as if that wasn't at all scary."
"Um, I did," said Decima. "And what's that got to do with Remus?"
Sirius frowned and narrowed his eyes at the wall thoughtfully.
"Well, love, I suppose someone's going to tell you soon anyway, and it'd probably be Gwen. Remus is a werewolf. He was bit when he was a child and has lived with it pretty much his whole life."
"Ah," she said casually. "That explains why he's always so sickly."
It sounded rather nonchalant and careless, but in truth, Decima now had a whole new respect for Remus. Gwen's mother hadn't been going through the transformations nearly as long, and she had told the girls all about them. It sounded like a horrific and painful experience every month. She couldn't imagine going through that your whole life, not remembering a time when you were normal. It was probably nice that he had found a girl like Gwen, who wouldn't look at him like a monster because he couldn't control himself once a month.
"Well," she said. "I'm glad Gwen's happy. That makes one of us."
"What's on your mind, love?" he whispered, petting her softly.
"I lost everything this time," she muttered, embarrassed. "I pushed you and Gwen away because I was being stupid, and now I can't just put my head down and behave anymore. I'm scared."
"Darling," he said, "I'm right here. And Gwen still cares about you. Love, you're not alone. The Potters still want to take care of you, like they do with me. And noboby's going to fault you for what happened. It's no fault of yours to stand up for yourself. That's a sign of true strength, getting out like you did, and now you just have to allow us to protect you, because I swear to you, I'm never letting you go again."
Sirius wasn't just looking at her with affection. He loved her. He really, really loved her. How had Decima not realized that before?
