Chapter 9: Reflections Of The Past

Rynn had been avoiding Anders, and the clinic, quite successfully for the better part of a week, until Bethany asked if she could help out at the Clinic.

"You want to go to the clinic, you don't exactly do well around blood, and you hate Darktown." Rynn asked skeptically.

"As much as I hate blood, with your current line of work, I had better start getting used to it and I want to help out, we are lucky to have Gamlen and a place to live; we could have ended up down there, if anything it will make me appreciate Gamlen… as much as he disgusts me."

"But what would you be doing?" Rynn asked watching her sister.

"I could use a break from being cooped up, and I can… I can bandage, and clean wounds, and Father taught us both to make salves and poultices, you should come too." Bethany

"No" Rynn said a little too quickly, "I have to help out a friend of Isabella's, then make sure that dwarf Javaris pays me for getting rid of his Tal-Vashoth."

"Mm hum, Thera I know you've been avoiding Anders… why? Did he do something?"

"No, he didn't do anything... No, I'm not avoiding him, I've just been busy…." she looked away from her sister who always knows how to get the truth out of her.

"Oh come on Thera, you took him lunch almost every day and now all of a sudden you're too busy… please tell me what happened." Bethany wined giving Rynn her most pleading expression

"uh…ok… but it's rather embarrassing…" Rynn groaned

"I gathered that part" Bethany sighed waiting for her sister to elaborate.

"The other night I walked him home and we got attacked by thugs, I'd lost a lot of blood between that fight and well the whole day, and he was flirting with me, or at least I thought he was and then I kind of leaned into him and then we were really close and…. I kissed him but it was an accident…." She rushes through the explanation.

"Ooo, you kissed him." Bethany teases, her hands clasped in front of her, she was enjoying this a little too much. "Thera kissed a boy…. And she has a crush on him..." Bethany teased as she edged away from her sister. "Did he kiss you back?" she asked.

"I think so… or I don't know" Rynn said avoiding her sisters teasing glances.

"So why are you avoiding him, you never avoid anything or anyone?

Rynn's cheeks turned bright red, "Because he made it perfectly clear that we were just friends, and I'm a little ashamed of my actions, why can't I be more like you, more restrained not like me always smashing into every situation and acting on my gut instincts?"

"Oh, I'm sorry" Bethy replied "can you walk me down there; I don't like to go alone."

"Sure and when I'm done for the day I'll come pick you up, probably be close to dark though." Rynn replied, hoping that would be fine.

"Besides you wouldn't be you if you weren't audacious, it suits you." Bethany winked at her sister

The girls set off for Darktown, when they reached the clinic Rynn assured her sister she would be back close to night fall and left before Bethany had a chance to make her enter the clinic.


Bethany is helping Anders wrap a patient's arm, which had been burned, probably in one of the Lowtown foundries, the patient thanks them and leaves the clinic which is now by some miracle empty, so Bethany turns to Anders

"You know, you remind me of my father, he was a healer too, always tried to help people, even when it put us at risk of being caught… but somehow he always knew when to move us to avoid Templar suspicion. He used to say a lot about the freedom of mages, like you do, I think Rynn missed hearing it said with such conviction; I think she misses Father , she used to spend hours with him, when he wasn't teaching me to use my magic he took odd jobs he'd take Thera with him, she'd help out.

"For growing up an apostate you don't seem to hate Templars very much… I mean having to hide from them all the time, constantly be on the move, never really having a home."

"I always had a home; my home was Mother, Father, Carver and Thera. Thera always made sure I knew I was loved and protected, she did anything and everything for us, just like Father, she still does."

"I just thought you'd hate them, you're a mage, and Rynn seems to… it just surprises me you don't."

"I used to really fear them, I thought they were all evil, but when we lived in Lothering I kind of got to meet some and they weren't all as bad as father believed, and Thera she hates them, because of father..."

"Templars killed your father?" he balls his fists his eyes flashing blue

"Oh goodness no, father died of natural causes..." at this he regains control over Justice.

"I can remember only some of what happened, but first I think it's important you understand something about Thera. She doesn't like to let other people in, she says it's to protect me, 'the less anyone knows the better for all of us' she always says,' but I think she's just afraid of letting them down, or afraid they wouldn't see her as the strong reckless rogue anymore"

"She'll always be a strong reckless rogue; nothing could change that, that's who she is, with a side of wisecracker." Anders laughed

"You should do that more often" Bethany smiled "you know laugh" she clarified seeing his confused expression.

"I must have been about six at the time; I think we lived near Highover." Bethany continues with her story "Thera would take me to a meadow, so we could play, we'd play tag, collect flowers everything that normal little girls do."

He smiles, picturing Rynn picking flowers. "I have a hard time seeing Rynn do normal little girl things."

"I know, she's changed so much….. As I was saying we would play in this meadow, and I was freezing flowers, on Rynn's insistence, she always encouraged me to not fear my gift, she made it fun. Then this large metal, giant with a flaming sword on his chest, comes into the clearing, I was terrified, I couldn't move, he started to walk toward me, I screamed… Rynn rushed in between us, she yelled at me to run…. So I did, I ran as fast as I could crying and screaming, it seemed to take me forever to reach the house, father had heard me screaming, and met me at the front gate, he grabbed my shoulders 'Bethy calm down, tell me what happened, and where is Rynn?' I managed to say metal and flaming sword and Thera told me to run…. I pointed in the direction I'd just run from. I'd never seen father frown before, he carried me into the house, told mother to pack grabbed his staff ran out the door, mother took my hand to help her pack."

"The next thing I remember is father carrying Thera into the house, I remember her covered in blood, her dress was soaked, so much blood, I didn't want to look at it anymore, she cried through supper, silent tears just sliding down her face, she never said a word. then I remember waking up next to her and carver in a strange wagon… she was silent, she had a twisted look on her face, I reached up I wanted her to laugh, to be happy, she took my hand, she looked down at me she said it's alright Bethany... I promise nothing will ever happen to you or Carver, then turning to Father she says I'm sorry papa, I won't let you down again… she's been protecting me my whole life, she's tried so hard to give us a normal life, especially after father died, it became a part of her, it's who she is, I think she'd feel lost without us to protect. I don't think she forgives herself for Carver's death..."

Anders is staring at Bethany, She was so young, and she blames herself. A sad expression crosses his face before he looks away.

"She'd never trade any of it for a different life… Bethany smiles, then looking up at Anders from across the room she grins "You know she likes you, not that she'd ever admit it but she does… and you like her too…don't you? I mean the way you look at her when she's not looking, it's cute"

"No! Besides she's avoiding me, and she should…. she deserves a normal life… "Just no," he says as if to convince himself, he turns away from Bethany to see to the patient who had just walked in.


Rynn made her way back up to Lowtown and to the Hanged Man; she'd never been there this early in the day. It was quiet, save for the usual die hard drunks who never seem to move from their respective places, there were even a few people still passed out on the tables. Isabella and Fenris were already waiting for her in Varric's quarters'.

The group make their way to the Qunari Compound, "You go ahead, I have to meet someone for information on the relic" Isabella excuses herself

They are stopped by a large Qunari Rynn plants her feet standing up tall I'm not going to be intimidated she tells herself "Let me pass, I have business with the Dwarf Javaris and your Arishok" Rynn demands

"The short mouth yes, enter if you must, Basra."

Rynn leads the group into the compound; there are temporary living arrangements, little more than tents constructed around the compound. The Qunari are leaning against walls or sitting on the ground, they appear to all be warriors, what was a ship of warriors doing this far south Rynn wonders.

Javaris sees her approach "Ah! My right hand arrives," then speaking to the Qunari in front of him "summon your Arishok – the bargain is done!"

"About time you showed, I've been here for hours" he grumbled at Hawke

A Qunari who seemed bigger with larger horns than the few who were leaning against the wall next to the group, this must be the Arishok Rynn thought, I don't want to mess with that.

Fenris steps forward and waving his hand in front of himself as he spoke "Arishokost. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun"

"The Qun from an elf. The madness of this… Place" the Arishok spoke

"Tell me that helped" Rynn said aside to Fenris

"We'll see" he shrugged

"Yes well, that said I'm here to report that your hated Tal-Vashoth were felled one and all." He turned to Rynn "Right?" she nods, then back to the Arishok "Yes they were." "So, I am ready to open negotiations for the explosive powder as we agreed."

"No!" The Arishok exclaimed

"He's not getting it make you chatty Elf say something."

"Any insight that would help?" Rynn almost whispered

"Qunari do not abandon a debt," he replied to her, then to the Arishok "I humbly request clarification from the Arishok"

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you. The dwarf imagined the deal for the Gaatlok. He invented a task to prove his worth, when he has none."

"Then we have wrongly inserted ourselves in your affairs, would you have us kill this dwarf?"

"Wait! What now?" Javaris sputtered

"If you faced Tal-Vashoth he is not worthy of dying to you. But you… you keep good company. Let him live and leave"

"I did his dirty work, that debt stands" Rynn grumbled

"Does it Dwarf?" the Arishok boomed.

"You said yourself there was no bargain; I'm not getting a sodding thing out of this"

At this statement the Qunari who had been leaning against the wall stood with their weapons drawn, the Arishok also stands "this human did what you could not, something I did not expect from any outsider, and you have involved me. If you made a bargain for the Tal-Vashoth that debt for their lives will be honoured."

"Sod it all take your coin, take whatever." He hands Hawke her coin and walks away mumbling "horn head ox-men and mongrel dog lords suck your own powder and blow your head off, Sod it!"

"You will leave as well human, there's no more coin for you here"

And with that they left the compound, Isabella reappeared, beside Hawke pointing her to some dockworkers who were unloading cargo beside a warehouse, "they might know where Martin's cargo is."


They walked toward a couple of workers moving cargo around on the docks, Rynn approached one of the men "I'm looking for some Cargo."

"You're in luck, cargo all around, take your pick"

"A labourer with a smart mouth, you hardly ever see those" Rynn said with scornful derision

"What do you want" the man said crossing his arms in a threatening stance. The other dock worker turned around, interrupting Hawke before she could say something to set the man off "talk to the harbour master, I'm sure he will have information about your cargo." He said pointing Rynn toward his office, which they made their way toward.

They were greeted by an older self-important man "Shipping manifest" he spat in an arrogant tone

"I'm looking for cargo bearing the seal of the Orlesian port authority

"Uh, Aden, deal with this" he said gesturing to a younger man and walking away

"I apologise on Liam's behalf, he's a very busy man, I'm Aden his assistant, I have seen the crates you're looking for, only I can't remember where, such a shame"

"Ugh" Rynn breathed "What do you want"

"The clink of coin often jogs my memory"

"Fine" Reaching into her pouch she pulls out a few coins and handing them over "Is this enough to help you remember?"

"Ah, it's coming back to me; the cargo is in Woodrow's Warehouse, I'm glad we could help each other out." And with that he left

As Rynn approaches the warehouse across the doc she is blocked by a group of armed men.

"This is private property" the man in the middle steps forward to block her path

"There's a fire on the other side of this row get help before it spreads" Rynn says with a little panic in her voice

"What" he has a confused expression on his face.

"Don't you hear the screaming? Are you deaf?"

"I don't hear anything" one of the men adds trying to be helpful

"Shit a fire could destroy the loot we have to check" the leader is perplexed as he runs off to check on the fire

"Not bad Hawke, not bad at all" Varric looks up at Rynn a smile on his face as they enter the warehouse.

There are about a dozen of them, Fenris starts to run down the stairs to meet them, Rynn yells Trap and attempts to catch him before he steps on it, but instead he jumps over it and heads toward a raider, Rynn stops only long enough to disarm the trap. Isabella is using Fenris as a distraction so she can dart in behind and stab at the raiders. Varric plants himself at the top of the stairs where he can pick out targets and watch over his companions. Rynn throws a flask at a group of raiders stunning them and causing smoke to fill the air, giving her the advantage of surprise. She back stabs the one closest to her, then slashes the next one giving her time to get the third with twin daggers to the chest, then turning back to the second raider she assassinates him, taking a breath she realises the battles over.

After going through the warehouse looking for crates with the Orlesian seal, they finally found the crate, hidden off in the corner and protected by traps. Rynn opens the crate; she takes a sample of the powder inside, "poison."

"This is some potent stuff, you could wipe out most of Hightown with one vial" Varric adds

They head back to the hanged man, Fenris leaving to return to his mansion in Hightown. Rynn makes her way to Martins room at the back of the Hanged man Isabella still in tow. She knocks on the door, Martin quickly letting them in

"Your smuggling poison, I thought you were becoming a law abiding citizen?"

"I got the stuff from a legitimate supplier, and I'm going to sell it legitimately, it's all legitimate."

"It's poison, it kills people" Rynn says, wondering if he's really trying to be honest.

"I just sell it; I'm not responsible for what people do with it" Martin defends himself

"It's in Woodrow's warehouse" Rynn decides to tell him, because he's right, why shouldn't he profit from it, after all doesn't she?"

"Thanks for this friend, I'm goanna get my goods, you come back once I'm set up I'll give you a discount"

They leave the room, Isabella turning to Rynn, "you going to join me at the bar for some drinks?"

"Sorry, I can't, I've got to get Bethany and Mother said she's making a family diner, you're free to join us though"

"No that's alright, I don't want to be the awkward guest at your family gathering, besides I'm sure your mother wouldn't approve."

"She'd probably like you, maybe offer you some pants or a nice modest dress" Rynn laughs

"You should invite that mage, Anders, I've seen how you look at him, and how he pretends not to look at you, honestly I was surprised he wasn't with us today"

"What, are you talking about" Rynn tries to feign ignorance at the pirates comment "I don't always bring him, and Bethany wanted to help at the clinic."

"Sure whatever, Kitten, keep telling yourself that, it'd be better if you'd kiss him already."

"What, no I'm not..."Rynn trails off sure her cheeks have turned bright red

"I'll save a stool for you in case you get tired of your family." Isabella calls after her as Rynn leaves the Hanged Man. Isabella takes her drink up to Varric's room

"You owe me Varric" she said in a smug tone

"Why is that Ravinni?" he raised his eyebrows

"You lost our bet, I mentioned kissing and she turned bright red"

"That proves nothing; she didn't admit to it, I owe you nothing"

"Very well Varric but you know it's only a matter of time"


Rynn hurriedly leaves for Darktown, what does Isabella know, she's making it up, fishing for information, probably has some bet with Varric, Its after dark as she makes her way to the clinic.

"Hello There, I'll just be a second" Bethany calls from across the room.

Anders turns around finding Rynn right behind him, she takes a step back, realising how close they are, he smiles at her "Bethany guilted me into coming for dinner, hope that's ok…"

She's glances at him, her eyes catching his mouth, why does his smile have to make my heart flip-flop "Yes of course…" she looks over to where Bethany is washing her hands, avoiding looking at him.

"Ok I think we can go now, my hands are clean" Bethany laughs and Rynn is glad for her sister breaking the awkward silence, neither one saying what they really want to say.

They enter the shack Bethany and Rynn discussing their day "you're late" mother has her arms folded but a smile on her face.

"Sorry mother" Rynn kisses her on the cheek, "Bethany brought a guest"

"I can see that, Anders right?" She's smiling at him "The girls tell me you don't leave your clinic, and you don't stop to take time to eat a decent meal, too busy helping the refugees. You're always invited to diner, and I expect you to come, after all you patch up my Thera, probably quite often if I know my girl."

"Thank you" he says genuinely, "Yes when I'm not helping refugee's I seem to be patching up Rynn" he laughs.

There is a table situated in the corner of the room, it had already been set. Mother takes her seat at the far end closest to the fire and Bethany sits to her right along the wall forcing Rynn to sit beside Anders.

Supper is a stew made of mostly vegetables, but it's better than what they serve at the hanged man and it's far better than what dried meat and bread Lirene usually sends him, and he likes how the Hawkes make him feel like family.

"Did you know Anders escaped from the Circle in Ferelden, how many times, seven?

"Something like that, yes, one time I even swam the lake, was out for a week before they caught me. The last time they gave me solitary confinement for a year, the only friend I had was a cat Mr. Wiggums, he was the only person I saw, well except for him not being a person."

Rynn was punished to solitary confinement too" Bethany giggles

Rynn rolls her eyes, "it was hardly solitary or confinement"

"What did you do?" Anders asks

"She got caught in a hay loft with Ol' Barlin's boys; their father caught her with his boys…" Bethany blushes not wanting to explain what they were doing…

"He called her every name he could think, Father was mad, but mother oh mother was furious, she said "Thera, ladies don't do…those things… in hay lofts… and with brothers…"

"Yea and I was forbidden to go to town, or speak to boys all summer, very frustrating summer for a seventeen year old, I had to stay in the house or the yard, I tilled the garden, and I cleaned the house at least a dozen times, but I got really good with my blades." Rynn said as she twirled her hands in emphasis.

"And mother just so you know I was building trade relations with the townsfolk because who tilled our field the next spring when father was sick, Ol' Barlin's boys.

"Yes Thera, but did you have to get caught, so not how I raised you" Leandra looking down at her daughter Rynn offered her a wide toothy grin.

"Do we really need to talk about your sisters… Adventures… I'm sure Anders here can tell us about his escape attempts" Leandra said clearing the table

"Sure why not…my last and final escape attempt I was conscripted into the Wardens by the Warden Commander Amell, I also knew her in the tower, well, seen her around, she's a little older than I so we didn't actually know each other."

"Oh what's she like" Bethany gushed

"She's fun, a little like you Hawke, only with a lot more self-preservation and a lot less sarcasm. She used to get into your kind of trouble and drag me along too, although no one rushes into trouble like you Rynn." He elbows her with a wink

"Mother she's the daughter you always wished you had" Rynn laughs

"She's really nice, you'd expect someone who saved the world from the blight and became Warden Commander to be grumpy and strict, but she always had time for her wardens, and she always laughed at Ogren's disgusting jokes, and my cheesy ones….

"Oh you sound like you really liked her a lot, were you involved" Bethany pries

"Oh no," he states shaking his head "just good friends, there was no way she'd ever be interested she had eyes only for King Alistair, I met him once too, funny guy, likes his cheese."

"I wish we could have met her, she's our second cousin…..you know! Bethany babbled.

"I figured, your mother mentioned the name before, also you and your mother resemble her somewhat.

They spent the rest of the evening chatting about the hero of Ferelden, Anders sharing some of his adventures, he enjoyed the company he wanted to be close to Rynn, but he also wanted to be far far away where he wouldn't have to think about her lips on his, or her laugh, or the way she made him feel like he belonged there, passing the evening with her family.