Chapter 8 - Reconciliation
It was a long night for Daey, no longer would she meditate. The wound from the blaster shot pained her and the ground she tried to rest on was hard and cold. Every time she closed her eyes to sleep, terrible nightmares plagued her. Soon, Daey found no comfort in her efforts to rest and so she got up and decided to explore the broken down dwelling they were hiding out in.
It came as no surprise that the man that saved her and who was not much older than her, was nowhere to be found. The dwelling was once a home now overridden by the encroaching sands. Nestled below the surface, it once was a typical home most likely belonging to a family of moisture farmers. How it came to be abandoned was a mystery she felt little care for any longer.
Dawn lingered on the horizon which signalled an opportunity to vacate the place.
"Leaving so soon?" came a familiar voice.
Daey startled and was caught off guard. It was unusual for that to happen, usually she could sense if someone was nearby. Instinctively she reached for one of her lightsabers. Gripping the hilt she found that she could not bring herself to ignite it.
"Hold on there cheeka! It's just me," he protested with his hands in the air showing her that he was no threat.
She quickly buried the weapon under her garment and then just stood there unsure of her next move–eyes avoiding contact. "I should go," she said but her body remained stationary. "Thank you for your help."
"The name's Talin, Talin Ters," he said as he walked forward.
Daey inched backwards and held her hand over her wound. She still avoided eye contact. Talin found this sudden change in behaviour strange. That was not the girl he rescued. She was confident, strong, defiant and courageous. Something was obviously wrong.
Slowly he continued to approach until she no longer could move backwards, stopped by a large solid wall. She did not run, move, nor say a word as if her mind was elsewhere. Despite the danger he was placing himself in, Talin stood right in front of her praying that she wouldn't suddenly decide to fight her way out. Perhaps he was being stupid or perhaps he felt pity for the girl.
Slowly and gently, he moved her hand from her wound and took a look under the dressing, surprised that she was allowing him to do so. "I need to replace the dressing," he said in a clam soft tone.
Daey just stood there, unmoving. He took it as a sign that he could go ahead and so quickly fetched a clean pack from his backpack and worked swiftly to redress the wound. The girl began to tremble and when he stood back, her legs gave in and she slid down the wall. She held her legs and buried her face between her knees.
Talin said nothing and sat next to her. Clearly something beyond the simple flesh wound was causing her the distress. It was a situation he was unaccustomed to handle.
oOoOoOoOo
A scuttling noise jolted Talin awake. The large sand rat that was looking for food, startled and ran off. Talin realised that it was late in the morning already, they must have fallen asleep. The noise had woken Daey as well but she reacted with less enthusiasm or concern.
"We can't stay here, best to keep moving," he said as he began to gather his things.
Daey followed him outside giving it little thought. The sun was bright and she wished that she had her sun goggles. It then occurred to her that her speeder and backpack were still hidden near the canyon. Not that it mattered, she was done playing hero.
As if reading her mind Talin pointed out what she already knew, "we best go retrieve your speeder before it falls into the wrong hands."
Still having no opinion of her own, Daey accompanied him–her mind was erratic and confused. They did not speak the entire way. Talin took a longer route to the location making sure that the area was clear of any activity before he approached the hidden speeder.
He was surprised to find it untouched but strangely, at the same time, he expected as much. Inspecting the vehicle, he assured her that it was as she left it. Daey gave a nod of thanks then waited for him to leave. He hesitated and asked several times if he could escort her elsewhere - perhaps even help her find a ride off dirt side.
"Look," she began growing tired of his hovering, "I appreciated the help you gave but here is where we part ways."
That was when Talin's good nature showed more of who he really was. "Cheeka, don't get me wrong. I didn't mind helping you out but nothing is for nothing - if you get my meaning."
It occurred to Daey that he was hanging around waiting for some kind of reward. For a moment she had hoped that he was unlike most, when they first met she thought she felt something different about him but now it was clear that like everyone else - he was just looking out for himself.
She reached into her speeder and grabbed her backpack. "Here," she said and tossed it his way. "There's valuable equipment in there, I'm sure that's compensation enough. Good day Talin. May you find what you are looking for."
Daey climbed into her speeder and rode off leaving a trial of dust in her wake before Talin could have responded. All she wanted now was to be left alone. The words 'may you find what you are looking for' kept echoing in her mind. She did not know why she said them.
Satisfied that she wasn't being followed, Daey returned to the cave-like dwelling that had been her home for several months now. It gave her little comfort. She sat down and wished that Calfor was still alive, she could really use his guidance. The only other help she had was an old recording full of Jedi teachings and that was something she wasn't keen to see at the moment. Being a Jedi was clearly not her calling.
It wasn't long before fatigue set in once more. Not letting the force sustain her, her body and mind were exhausted. Soon she found herself once again lost in a dream state. She knew she was in this realm because before her stood the bearded man, Ben Kenobi.
"Why do you close yourself off from the force?" he asked concerned.
"Obviously I didn't do such a good job," she implied as he was clearly visible to her through means of the force.
"Tell me what is wrong, maybe I can help," he offered.
Daey was unsure about a lot of things but one thing that was clear was the fact that she needed help. With nobody else to turn to, she decided to play along with the delusion. "I messed up," she said.
"Yes, we've covered that already. So you decided to distance yourself from the force–but why?"
"I'm not worthy of being a Jedi, I failed the force, my father and the people I was trying to help."
Ben rubbed his chin and walked over to the thin window slit by the wall. He looked out as if staring beyond the rocks and endless nothingness. He stood there for just a moment, waiting.
Daey wasn't finished in her confession, "I failed myself," she finally admitted.
"I see," he acknowledged. "That is truly the issue here. You cannot fail your father for he is your father and always will be no matter what. The force is not something tangible that you can fail and frankly, you did help all those people."
"Yes but what about all the others I caused harm to through my actions?"
"Such is the way of things. Everything has consequences. You cannot save everyone."
"But I'm responsible, I need to fix things."
"And you choose to fix things, as you say, by turning away from the force?"
There was no answer she could give. Somewhere inside her she thought that if she stopped and disappeared, things would not get any worse. However, they wouldn't get any better either and that was the part that she couldn't live with.
He sensed her confusion and felt a strange bond forming between them. Or perhaps the bond had always been there and yet only now had it become apparent. Regardless, he could not tell her what to do, this was something she needed to figure out on her own.
With a light jolt, Daey snapped back to her reality. The man was nowhere to be seen and his last words sat on her heart - giving her cause to meditate.
