A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated!~Calla
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Closing the file on her desk and leaning back in her chair, Lisbon took a couple of deep breaths. She'd caught a whiff of something lingering in the break room causing her stomach to roil and she'd yet to get it under control. While her morning sickness was mostly gone, there were certain aromas that sent her reeling. That stench was definitely one of them. Cigarette smoke was the other. Fortunately, the Bureau had a designated smoking area outside she steered clear of. Unfortunately, they didn't have the same for noxious food odors.
Losing the fight, Lisbon exited her office in the direction of the old bathroom the CBI had yet to renovate. The one almost everyone avoided like the plague except the cleaning crew. Hopefully no one would be hiding out when she got there. The only time anyone ever used the depressing facilities, other than her, was when the regular ladies room was overcrowded which didn't happen that often.
Noting the three open stalls, Lisbon selected one pulling the door closed behind her. A few minutes later she decided she hadn't been this ill in a couple of weeks. Whatever O'Keefe had heated in the microwave was wickedly stinky and she was literally praying to God he didn't do it again. Wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet, Lisbon prepared to exit the stall when the unmistakable aroma of cigarette smoke assaulted her nostrils.
To make matters worse, it wasn't just any cigarette smoke. It was menthol cigarette smoke and her stomach was churning alarmingly. Turning to hurl yet again, Lisbon silently cursed whoever had sneaked into the bathroom unnoticed while the toilet was flushing to light up her worst nightmare. Throwing her guts up, Lisbon finally decided her stomach was truly empty and wiped her mouth yet again before flushing the toilet.
"Hey, Teresa, there's no point in hiding out in there." Lisbon covered her face as she silently mouthed every cuss word she could think of. "I'd know those boots anywhere."
Opening the stall door, Lisbon stepped out to confront the last person she wanted to hear her tossing her cookies.
"I wasn't hiding, Annie." Lisbon rinsed her mouth before confronting Hollister's knowing look. "I was puking my guts up. It must have been something I ate."
"That's what we all say." Hollister continued applying lip gloss to her much too perfect lips. "The truth is more a case of are you pregnant, Teresa, or just getting fat?"
"Excuse me?" Lisbon gazed at the other woman in disbelief.
"You don't need to answer that one." The perky blonde put her lip gloss tin back in her purse before lifting her eyes to study Lisbon's reflection in the mirror. "I already know the answer. I've heard the evidence and I've seen the decaf."
"I told you I was having trouble sleeping." Lisbon quickly brushed her teeth before dabbing a touch of lipstick on her lips.
"You've never had trouble sleeping in all the years I've known you." Hollister called her lie. "Let's see…The dreaded decaf plus puking plus weight gain…Do I have to spell it out for you? When's the baby due?"
"Hollister, honestly, I'm not going to stand here having this conversation with you." Lisbon grabbed her purse and made for the door.
"I'm not through talking yet." Hollister continued in a dangerous tone. "You've got twenty-four hours to come clean before I tell everyone what I suspect."
"Why would you do that?" Lisbon asked. "You're only going to look like a fool when you're wrong."
"I don't think so; but, it won't be the first time, so I'll take that risk." Hollister studied her up and down in a brazen manner. "I'd start with Jane if I was you. We both know you're going to have trouble from that direction. The bigger you get, the more it's going to interfere with the Red John case and he's not going to like that. Why don't you go ahead and bow out now. Maybe they'll reassign the case to my unit. I'd love to work with him."
"I'm sure you would." Lisbon resisted the urge to punch the much taller woman. "But, as you're as full of crap as a Christmas turkey, I wouldn't hold my breath on that happening."
"I wouldn't bet on it." Hollister challenged.
Giving the other woman a dirty look, Lisbon walked out the door without a backward glance murmuring, "Shit, shit, shit!" under her breath as she headed across the hall towards her office.
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Running her hand through her hair, Lisbon rested her hand against the slight curve of her tummy before leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, all hell had to break loose. That had been twenty minutes ago. She couldn't believe her luck in having the worst possible person enter that bathroom at the most inopportune moment.
"I still don't regret a thing so don't go thinking I do." Lisbon spoke softly choosing to believe Madeleine could hear her while knowing she probably couldn't.
She didn't either.
Regret a thing that is.
Not slipping into her froggy pajamas, or letting Jane slip her out of them, or anything that happened over the course of the weekend afterwards.
Nor did she regret the craziness since. How could she? She was having a child and not just any child…Jane's child…The only child she'd ever fantasized about having.
Opening her eyes, Lisbon admitted the man was right. She did need someone in her life and not just a lover…She'd been lying when she said she'd never given marriage much thought…Not the institution which, truthfully, she didn't think that much about…But the who whe wouldn't mind marrying.
She'd given quite a bit of thought over the years to what it would be like to be married to Jane.
It had started innocently enough soon after she'd met him the first time not that long after she'd been given the Red John Case. Being a diligent detective, she'd wondered what their marriage had been like. It was clear that Patrick Jane had loved his family. And that he was still devastated.
Eventually he'd come to work with her (certainly not for her) and her perspective had changed. The man had driven her batty on a good day! She'd pitied Angela Jane as she'd come to realize the woman was not only beautiful; but, a saint as well. She'd had to be to handle such a man.
Her perspective had changed time and again over the years. What had first been pity had grown to grudging respect to trust to genuine friendship and, finally, to something more. The day she'd finally accepted she'd fallen head over ass in love with Patrick Jane had been a real slap in the face. She'd promptly shoved the emotion deep inside never to be visited again.
Until Jane nuzzled her neck and the lock on that imaginary box shattered.
The rest was history.
"You sent for me?" Jane poked his head through Lisbon's open doorway.
"Nope, but we do need to talk." Lisbon wondered for the millionth time how he did that.
Not how he opened locked doors. She understood that. He picked them. But, how he knew she needed him before she even knew it. As strange as it seemed, sometimes she did the same with him. They just seemed to be in tune like that.
"What's up, My Dear." Jane stepped into her office and locked the door behind him.
"Hollister outed me a while ago." Lisbon said quietly. "Actually, she hasn't outed me yet. I have until tomorrow to tell you and the guys before she's going to spill what she thinks she knows. I've already invited the team out for dinner tonight and they've accepted. You want to tag along?"
"I don't think that's necessary." Jane said. "Everyone will expect you to tell me separately as you're about to do."
"And they'll expect you to disappear for a few days like you're going to do." Lisbon continued without waiting for Jane to spell it out.
"Can you handle them?" Jane made a motion in the direction of the bullpen. "I'll come with you to the dinner if you think you can't."
"I don't think that's wise. One, or both of us, might accidentally do something to give ourselves away." Lisbon absently nibbled her lip as she weighed the situation. "Whether I think I can or I can't handle the guys, or anyone else, isn't important. That we pull this off and make it believable is."
"Then, yes, I think I will disappear." Jane confirmed what she already knew.
"You'll go to Malibu?" Lisbon asked following his train of thought.
"Maybe." Jane evaded knowing he'd never get anything done at his place. "Now, what I really want to know is how did the Chief Gossip Bitch find out your secret? You aren't showing enough for anyone to think you're with child."
That she'd gained a handful of pounds over the last several months was apparent given her small frame; but, she'd yet to develop that definitive rounding so betraying beneath her jacket. In fact, she'd only regained the weight she'd lost working those nasty cases she shouldn't have lost in the first place. He'd have guessed she had another five to ten pounds before she'd appear enceinte enough to start tongues wagging.
"It seems she sneaks off to that ratty second floor bathroom no one likes to use for a quick smoke every now and then. It was my misfortune to get there first." Lisbon rolled her eyes at the single thing she'd hadn't known blowing her fool proof plan to hell and back. "The minute she lit up, I went into my second round of puking my guts up. When I exited the stall she had those eagle eyes fixated on my belly. It didn't help she's caught me drinking decaff a time or two. I thought I'd taken care of that by saying I was temporarily cutting back on the caffeine because it was starting to interfere with my sleep."
"But coupled with your slight weight gain and morning sickness the Wicked Witch of the CBI couldn't help but add two and two and get four." Jane finished for her.
"Something like that." Lisbon agreed. "And she did ask me point blank if I was pregnant or just getting fat."
Lisbon couldn't help laughing repeating as she repeated the rude remark sounding so much like the other woman.
"That sounds like her." Jane's tone summed up how much he actively disliked the other agent. "While the exterior packaging is undeniably beautiful, the inner woman is nasty to the core."
"I guess she is." Lisbon agreed. "I know what doing for now. I'm going to finish looking over the Brookstone case then I'm going to a dinner I never wanted to have. You still haven't said exactly what you're going to do."
"I'm not quite sure." Jane kissed her forehead as he turned to go. "I need to make a phone call or two before I decide."
"And I need to know what's next." Lisbon placed a restraining hand on his arm. "Tell me what you're going to do, Jane. Trust me to play along as I've done before. I know you don't think I can."
"Actually, in this instance, I think you can." Jane made a split second decision he hoped he wouldn't regret as the stakes were so high. "What I think I'm going to do is leave for the rest of the day. I'll go to the park where you first told me we were pregnant. I'll think for a while. Call a friend and take him up on his offer to housesit for a couple of days. After that, I'm going to stop by the Farmer's Market to buy a few things and I'm going home. I'm going to pack a bag and drive to Malibu where, as I've already said, I'm going to stay at a friend's house for a few days.
I'm not sure when I'll be back so don't expect me before Monday. If I'm going to be later, I'll give you a call. Otherwise, my phone will be off.
If he's watching and tracking our exchanges, it'll appear to be what it's not."
"That you're upset by my pregnancy." Lisbon said.
"Precisely." Jane agreed as he took a disposable cell from his pocket. "If there's an emergency or you can't handle the fallout, give me a call on this. I'll have the mate on me. My number and the address of where I'll be are written on that folded sticky note in your pocket. Don't lose it or the gig is up."
"It seems like you've thought of everything." Lisbon said as she tucked the cell into the zippered pouch of her purse along with the tiny slip of paper.
"I tried." Jane admitted. "It isn't like we haven't known for a while that this was coming."
"I guess so." Lisbon agreed.
"I won't be gone that long." Jane offered. "When I get back we'll just pretend like nothing happened as we always do."
"I guess we will." Lisbon voice was slightly shaky as she realized the time had come they were both dreading.
Once it got out she was pregnant, Red John would be watching their every move. He'd probably do more than that. While she'd never found a bug in her office, and she hadn't today, she had no doubts that day was coming soon. He wasn't going to simply buy their story any more than anyone else who knew them would. He'd be watching closely for a while.
For all she knew, he might already know.
"Teresa, calm down." Jane took her in his arms. "It's going to be okay."
"I know." Lisbon gripped the lapels of his jacket in a way saying while she was willing to say the words she didn't believe them for one second.
"Do you?" Jane asked. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I'm only a phone call away if you need me…I won't even go if you don't want me to."
"You have to go." Lisbon said. "It'll raise too many questions if you don't act like bratty Jane."
"Bratty Jane, huh?" Van Pelt had called him that a time or two.
"Yeah, Bratty Jane." Lisbon gave him a slightly watery smile.
"Then I guess we better get this show on the road." Lifting her up, Jane leaned down press a good bye kiss against Lisbon's lips.
"You can do better than that." She might not get sex from her lover anymore; but, she could sure as heck get a decent tongue tickling kiss out of him.
Complying with her wishes, Jane lifted her arms up around his neck and pulled her tightly against him. Slipping his tongue between her lips, Jane decided if Lisbon wanted a real kiss he'd gladly give her one. It was the least he could do for the mother of his child.
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Walking into the popular, midtown restaurant Van Pelt had selected, Lisbon indicated to the hostess her party was already seated. Heading across the room, she noted the place was hoping. Fortunately, her crew had been smart enough to request the table over in the corner away from everyone that no one else wanted. Nodding to her team, she slid into the booth beside Grace.
"Is it true?" Van Pelt asked.
"I see Hollister didn't keep her mouth shut like she promised." Not that she'd expected her to which was why she'd invited her team to dinner five minutes after their encounter in the ladies' room. "Yes, it's true."
"Where's Jane?" Cho went straight for the jugular in his usual style. "Shouldn't he be here?"
"Headed for Malibu I think." Lisbon said quietly.
"He knows?" Cho asked the unnecessary question anyway.
"Yeah, he knows." Lisbon confirmed.
"And he left?" Van Pelt's expression clearly said she was adding up the pieces and drawing an unfavorable conclusion about their Mentalist. "Probably thinks your little bundle of joy will interfere with the search for Red John…What a bastard."
"Grace." Lisbon shook her head at the mutinous expression on Van Pelt's face.
Her red headed Agent had already drawn a conclusion she wasn't going to let go of until she got proof things were otherwise. While it was totally wrong, Lisbon had no intentions of making more than a cursory effort to set her straight. Grace's open hostility at Jane's seemingly selfish response to her news would go a long way in cementing their story in the eyes of their co-workers.
It would make life more difficult for Jane and for her by extension; but, it wouldn't be the first time her Mentalist had been on the outs with one or more of her team for some callous act. It wouldn't be the last she was sure. As much as he'd improved over the years, he still tended to feel the means justified the end when it came to catching the bad guys. Sometimes that belief overrode his sensitivities to his teammate's feelings.
Looking at the rest of her guys, Lisbon decided Rigsby looked uncomfortable while Cho's expression clearly conveyed he thought there was more going on than they were being told. Lisbon decided it didn't matter what he thought. She so wasn't going there. While she would love to tell the three people trying so hard not to stare at her the truth, the she was carrying Jane's baby, she couldn't for so many reasons none of which was she didn't trust them.
First, and foremost, she wasn't willing to put any of them in any additional danger. Their jobs were trying enough. Secondly, it wouldn't be fair to burden them with her secret and expect them to keep silent no matter what happened. Thirdly, the more people who knew the truth, the less likely it was to remain hidden. That was just the way of things.
The list went on and on.
"Shush, Grace, Jane will be back soon with his head on straight." Lisbon said calmly as she tapped her fingers on the tabletop. "This is going to take a while for all of us to get used to. Besides, he's not entirely wrong. As my pregnancy advances, it's going to interfere with all of our cases including Red John…Especially when I go on maternity leave."
"That's all you're going to say?" Grace asked.
"That's all I'm going to say." Lisbon agreed. "Jane's going to be Jane and that's all there is to it. If he wants to go think, let him. It's for the best. Besides, I doubt he'll be back before Monday and I can use the break. We all can.
Oh, and before you ask, you won't be meeting the baby's father. He isn't in our lives. It seems fatherhood wasn't part of his plans so I've agreed to let him off the hook in return for his reliquishing all paternal rights.
Now that I've made that clear, what do you say we order?"
Lisbon opened her menu ignoring the dropped mouths at the bomb she'd just dropped as though a man rejecting his child was the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps if the father had actually rejected his child, or relinquished his paternal rights, she might feel differently. Since he hadn't, she could successfully pull off acting like it was no big deal. She wasn't sure she could have under different circumstances.
"Who's the bastard?" Cho asked in that tone intimating he'd like to have a man to man with the creeper responsible for knocking her up.
"It doesn't matter, Cho." Lisbon said as she opened her menu. "We've talked like civilized human beings and come to the conclusion this is what's best for everyone. Don't make it any more complicated than it already is. I don't want anyone in out life who doesn't want to be here. Besides, I'm not doing anything a million other women aren't doing every day. I'm fully capable of going it alone. Of being a single mother."
"You aren't alone." Van Pelt studied her menu. "You've got us."
"I know that and don't think I don't appreciate it." Lisbon closed her menu and set it aside as they gave their orders to the server discreetly hovering about. "I wouldn't expect it to be any other way.
Don't get me wrong, I know none of this is going to be easy. I'm only about four months along so I still have a long way to go. But, it's not like I have a whole lot of choice in the matter. I just have to do what I have to do."
Lisbon looked around the table at the agreeing nods.
"Ideally, I'd have preferred not to have been cornered by Hollister and forced to admit everything before I was ready. I always intended inviting you out to share my news when the time was right. I'd planned to do that in the next week or two as I'm beginning to show. It didn't happen that way, so here we are.
All I can say is, while I'm not crazy about how it happened, I am happy to be pregnant. My doctor's aren't one hundred percent sure; but, it appears I'm having a girl. If that's true, I'm naming her Madeleine Grace Lisbon after Hightower and Van Pelt."
Lisbon laughed at the squeal she'd expected to hear from Grace and at the smiles she'd known would light her male Agent's faces. If you could call that slight upturning of Cho's lips a smile. Rigsby's grin, on the other hand, bordered on the idiotic it was so large. He was happy if Grace was happy as she clearly was.
"You're naming your kid after me?" Van Pelt's voice held a tinge of disbelief.
"I don't want to name her after me." Lisbon's eyes lit up at the sight of her appetizer. "So, I decided to name her after the two toughest chicks I know."
Lisbon refused to tell Grace the real reason for her actions. That she owed her and Hightower big for saving her. She didn't want to remind her of O'Laughlin and what she'd been forced to do when she was doing so well.
"You're calling her Madeleine aren't you?" Van Pelt asked knowing the answer without asking.
"It would get confusing with two Graces hanging around." Lisbon watched their server setting everyone's appetizers in front of them wishing the woman would hurry so she could dig in.
"Yes, it would." Van Pelt took a bite of Rigsby's nachos. "You're calling her "Maddie" aren't you?"
"I think so." Lisbon agreed nibbling her buffalo wing. "Madeleine's too big a name for a little girl. What do you say Uncle Cho? Should we call her "Maddie?"
"Yeah." Cho agreed as he snatched a nacho from Rigsby's plate as well in retaliation for the other man eating his doughnut earlier in the day. "We should call her Maddie."
"What do you think, Rigsby?" Lisbon decided she couldn't leave Wayne out even if he was more interested in stuffing his face.
"Uh, yeah, it works for me." Rigsby's ears turned red as he realized he'd been caught being more intent on stuffing his face than listening to the conversation around him.
"You don't even know what we were talking about." Lisbon laughed good naturedly deciding maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad as she'd feared. She might even enjoy herself. In fact, she already was.
Her team was taking her news much better than she'd thought they would.
And, nothing about their responses indicated they even considered the possibility Jane might be the father.
Thank God for small blessings.
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Sitting across the desk from Gale Bertram, Lisbon fidgeted in her chair. She'd been summoned to the Big Boss's office first thing. She didn't have to wonder about what.
She did wonder exactly what the man was going to say.
"Lisbon, that kid's not Jane's is it?" Bertram asked bluntly.
Staring into his eyes Lisbon snorted in disbelief he'd dared ask her such a thing.
"Why would you think that?" Lisbon's offended tone indicated what she thought of his question.
It also reflected that she was keeping the fact Bertram's name was high on that list at the front of her mind. She couldn't afford to play this one wrong. Even if he wasn't Red John, the man could be one of his higher ups.
"The two of you are close." Bertram's gaze never wavered.
"Yeah, I'm close to Rigsby and Cho, too." Lisbon snapped letting the fire light her eyes. "But, I'm not sleeping with them either. Never have. Never will."
"Not that close." Bertram countered.
"And not that crazy." Lisbon leaned into his desk refusing to back down at his audacity.
"Just wanted to make sure." Bertram leaned back in his chair clearly satisfied with her answer. "I'm to assume the father has chosen not to be involved in any of this."
"You've assumed right." Lisbon's gaze didn't falter as she stood on the fact that while she wasn't telling the truth, she wasn't exactly lying either. Jane wasn't in her life in the capacity either of them wanted him to be. "And I've chosen to respect his feelings. He's moved on with his life and I'm moving on with mine."
"I see." Bertram said as though he didn't like what he was seeing. "I'm sorry to hear that."
And he was. Lisbon was a good Agent and a good woman. He didn't particularly care to see her being treated so shabbily. She deserved better.
Even if she did, on occasion, make his life miserable by siding with Jane.
"Getting back to Jane, how's he taking all of this?" Bertram asked what he really wanted to know.
"How do you think?" Lisbon visibly relaxed.
"You haven't seen him since yesterday." Bertram said letting her know he was clearly in the loop even if he had given her a day of grace before he'd invited her into his office for the delicate discussion they were now having.
"Actually, he showed up at my place for a rather unpleasant discussion last night. We had words and he left." Lisbon embellished the truth. "I don't expect to see him for another few days. He wasn't pleased I hadn't told him about this sooner."
Jane had actually stopped by her place to make sure she was alright on his way out of town. He'd cooked her dinner and they'd spent a good half hour talking before he'd left. He'd given her a kiss and said a few nasty words on his way out the door in case anyone who shouldn't be was listening. Words that were absolutely meaningless to them; but, priceless to someone like Hollister if she happened to following Jane around.
"He wasn't pleased about any of it." Bertram observed. "You're pregnancy is going to impede his search for Red John."
"I suppose it will eventually." Lisbon agreed.
"I've always found Jane an ungrateful bastard." Bertram fiddled with a file on his desk signaling their interview was coming to an end. "You've done a lot for him over the years."
"I suppose I have." Lisbon agreed. "But, he solves cases."
"That he does." Bertram agreed. "It's the only reason I keep him around. Carry on, Lisbon. If you need anything, or Jane doesn't fall into line as soon as he should, let me know. I can forget he serves a purpose if he steps too far out of line."
"Yes, Sir." Lisbon said before walking towards the door grateful the seriously weird conversation was over. "And I don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure Jane will eventually come around."
"I certainly hope so." Bertram said pressing his fingers together already lost in thought. "My door is always open if you need anything."
"I'll keep that in mind." Knowing she was dismissed, Lisbon rose to her feet and headed for the door grateful to have survived the meeting secret intact.
At least she thought it was.
All she needed now was for Minelli to suddenly crawl out of the woodwork and she knew that was coming. About the time he got wind of her predicament which wouldn't be long. She wasn't looking forward to that one. She wouldn't be able to fool her surrogate father as easily as she had her Boss.
Virgil knew her much too well.
